tapping off

i looked it up, and neil taps “fuck off” in morse code in this scene, and the fact that space kid responds with “roger that!!!” and then walks off is really funny to me for some reason

Okay so I see some posts about executive dysfunction that kinda misrepresent what it is, so I wanted to clarify.

Executive dysfunction is not: laziness, lack of motivation, lack of willpower, lack of self-control, bad attitude, an excuse to not do something
Executive dysfunction is: an actual deficiency in the function of the frontal lobe that can be seen and measured in an MRI scanner, associated with neurodivergencies such as autism and ADHD, and mental illnesses

When you can’t do something because of ED, it’s not because you aren’t motivated enough or lack self-control. It’s because your brain literally isn’t running the commands needed to make your body move and do the things you need to. You may be hella motivated and determined to do something and you still won’t be able to because you don’t know where to start or how to proceed to the next step or what to do at all. You may be very hungry, know that you have a frozen pizza in your fridge, yet not be able to do the “fairly simple” steps to cook that pizza because of ED.

Executive dysfunction cannot be helped with more motivation, rewards, hard work or whatever. The part of your brain that is supposed to break the task into steps and guide you through them isn’t working right now, and no amount of rewards or discipline will make it work. The only things you can do is accommodate for the lack of this function: either ask someone near you to guide you through the steps of your task, or have a list of steps prepared beforehand, while your frontal lobe was more merciful. Shouting, crying, blaming, punishing yourself, etc won’t do one bit to help it.

And for people who don’t know what it’s like to have ED and have people around them who do have it, here’s the thing: instructions have to be very precise. I know you never pay attention to this because you don’t have to, but here’s the deal - even the smallest steps have to be akwnoledged. For example you may think that an instruction to make tea looks like this:

1. Fill the kettle with water and boil it.
2. Put a tea bag in your cup.
3. Add sugar if you want
4. Pour hot water into your cup
5. Take the bag out after a minute or two
6. Enjoy your tea

But it has many, many intermediate steps that a typically functioning frontal lobe will figure out, but a person affected by executive dysfunction won’t be able to do. So instead that instruction will look more like this:

1. Open the kettle
2. Open a bottle of water/turn on tap water
3. Fill the kettle with water
4. Turn off the tap water/close the water bottle
5. Close the lid on the kettle
6. Push the button to turn it on

And so on. So that one step in the first instruction is actually six steps in the second instruction. And giving a person with executive dysfunction the first instruction probably won’t help them at all. And btw this is might be the reason that person in your life leaves the lights on or doors open or products out of the fridge all the time - their brain just doesn’t guide them through it.

So, things to remember:
1) Executive dysfunction is a real thing and it’s not the person’s fault
2) It cannot be helped with motivation, self-control, discipline, rewards or punishments
3) It can be helped with careful, thorough instructions prepared by yourself beforehand or by someone else without ED
4) It is very difficult and frustrating for the person experiencing it first and foremost
5) If you have ED, be kind to yourself. Learn ways around it. Rest from time to time. Don’t be afraid or ashamed to ask for help. And be honest to yourself about whether you can or cannot do the thing yourself. Trust me, it will help you in the long run.

anonymous asked:

I know you didn't say anything about hating vegans or anything but are we actually doing a bad job? like is all of this just a lie and not actually helping the environment or anything :/ because one of the biggest reason for me to go vegan is cause of environmental issues and all

I don’t hate vegans, not the ones that aren’t spreading misinformation or think they are on some sort of moral high ground to everyone else. But I don’t agree with it myself because it is all superficial, without any proper action if I’m being honest.

And when there is action it’s usually targeted at the wrong issue and does more harmful then good. My main issue is that vegans see animals as very individual. They want to save every single cow or pig or chicken without thinking about it rationally or about the horrible impact that would have no important species (species that are actually vital to ecosystems). Veganism fails to see the bigger more important picture. 

“Saving” domesticated farm animals is not important. I’m sorry but it’s just not. Not when it means “saving” these animals will have drastic negative effects. 

I mean there are always ways that agricultural and animal industries can be improved. But just refusing to buy meat or use animal products don’t change anything. And realistically we’re not going to stop eating meat or producing wool ect. You have to understand that and accept it and look at ways to improve those processes not try and shut them down completely.  

And more veganism just means more demand for certain crops, which require more land clearing + more pesticides ect. Veganism is just as bad for the environment and animals as any other diet is. In a capitalist society there really isn’t any ethical consumption.

The world and the environment can’t survive under a capitalist society. Capitalism is what’s stopping us from using green energy solutions or inverting more. Not because these solutions are “expensive” or hard to make or whatever use excuses are being made. It’s because they won’t make as much money as easily. 

Just like buying honey isn’t going to “save the bees” or turning the tap off when you brush your teeth won’t save water. They’re things corporations and company’s push because they’re easy and shift the blame onto consumers and away from them. 

We need to look into real solutions. Realistic solutions that aren’t just superficial I-want-to-feel-good-without-doing-anything-too-hard “solutions” but real ones. And they need to be towards actual important significant issues.  Animals being killed for a source of food or harvesting honey or wool, is not even close to being an issue we should be worried about. 

I’m sorry that you’ve been led to think otherwise, there is alot of misinformation out there and people will lie to get their agenda across. But veganism just doesn’t help the environment. It just doesn’t. 

8

My top 24 favourite films
(in no particular order)

bashfyl  asked:

*incoherent screaming* You opened prompts! Sterek: Not yet together sterek. The idea is a bath and Stiles how did you get that there?!? Thank you.

Taking Sterek Prompts | Filling Prompts Live

———

“Are you going to get in?” Stiles asked, peeling out of his last shirt, his words a little slurry around the edges. “In a- a- a-” He paused, trying rather unsuccessfully to shake his hand free of his sleeve. He started laughing uncontrollably and collapsed to the floor to work on his shoes. “The water, are you?”

“No,” Derek groused, pointedly not looking when Stiles flopped onto his back and began to shimmy out of his soaked pants. Black slime coated almost every square inch of the floor. “This is your bath, not mine.”

“Mine,” Stiles echoed, now just lying on the floor in a puddle of black, his pale skin coated head to foot in the gunk. “This is not my house.”

“Yes,” Derek agreed, as patiently as he could, checking the water’s temperature before turning off the tap. It had to be extra hot to affect the stuff. “This is the clinic.”

Deaton had explained that even minimal contact with the ichorous substance gave a contact high. Stiles had been practically drenched in the stuff when they had killed it. Luckily it was not deadly or even toxic- which was the problem. Someone had been keeping the creature as a pet, drawing out the fluid and selling it, and it had escaped three days ago to wreak havoc.

Very, very unfortunately, Derek had drawn the short straw for ensuring Stiles got cleaned up and came down from the high safely. Isaac, Boyd, and Erica were taking care of disposal of the body while Scott and Allison swung by Allison’s house to return weapons and report to her father. Deaton had been kind enough - or perhaps had enough self preservation - to give Derek the key to the clinic so he could get Stiles washed up away from his father’s questions.

“Come on,” Derek said gently, slipping from the edge of the tub to crouch at Stiles’ side. It was, he reflected, a very good thing that werewolves were not susceptible to the substance’s effects. “You gotta get cleaned up.” The effects wouldn’t wear off until every drop of the ichor was gone.

Stiles lifted his head, looking all the way down his lean form. “Oh, no, no that’s too far,” he told Derek, head falling back with an audible clunk he was probably going to feel in a few hours. “Wow, this is the best floor ever. Do you think I could take it home with me?”

“No,” Derek said with a sigh. Looked like this was going to have to be the hard way. He shifted, kneeling beside Stiles, and grabbed at his wrists to haul him up.

Despite that they slipped and slid a bit, Derek managed to get a very naked Stiles upright and across the three feet to the tub. For a second Stiles stood very still, holding tightly onto the edge of it like he was going to resist going in. Then he tipped forward and faceplanted directly into the basin so quickly Derek had to scramble to keep him from drowning.

“Hoooooo!!!!” Stiles shouted the second his mouth was above the surface, water sluicing away the ichor clinging to his skin. “It’s hot, Derek! This is really hot, why is it so hot? Oh my god, I’m melting!” He started grabbing at the black liquid coming off his skin.

Closing his eyes, Derek counted to three. Then five. Then ten, for good measure, and when he opened them again, Stiles had fallen very, very still and was staring wide eyed into the middle distance. It was not exactly an improvement, but at least he’d stopped thrashing, slopping water and ichor all over the floor and flinging it onto the walls and- and was that- on the ceiling?

“Stiles, how did you- you know what, nevermind,” Derek grumbled, reaching for the spray nozzle.

This setup was supposed to be for cleaning dogs, but it would work just as well for ornery, tripping humans. He began to run the spray over Stiles’ hair, watching the black give way to brown. When the tub had filled completely, Derek pulled the plug and let it drain. Diluted like this with water, it wouldn’t hurt the general populace; at worst, they’d all have a really good day soon.

Stiles’ eyes slid closed, and he relaxed into the gentle touches Derek used to turn him this way and that, to get at the last of the ichor still clinging to strange places like inside of his ears and between his fingers and- well, at least Stiles was unlikely to remember any of this very well tomorrow.

By the time he had gotten the last of it, Stiles had turned to putty in his hands, making a soft, pleasant humming noise that might have been purring on a cat. Derek swallowed hard, trying to keep it together. He still needed to get Stiles someplace to wait out the high, and get this place cleaned up so no one else would be affected.

Difficult to think of anything beyond the way Stiles pressed himself into Derek’s touches. “Feels good,” Stiles murmured, unwilling or unable to keep his eyes open. “You should touch me more.”

“Tomorrow,” Derek mumbled back, prodding Stiles to his feet. The floor was still covered in ichor, so Derek just leaned over and scooped a completely unresisting Stiles into his arms. Immediately, Stiles looped his own arms around Derek’s neck and burrowed his nose against Derek’s shoulder. “If you still want me to touch you tomorrow, I will.”

“Okay,” Stiles agreed muzzily.

He wouldn’t remember. No one else had. Still…

He allowed himself a small smile, and a measure of hope. Stiles had never been one for following the rules, after all.

Try Me

Request from anon for a Jax x Reader where the reader is Unser’s daughter, and Hale keeps flirting with her so she asks Jax to pretend to be her boyfriend to get him to back off. Enjoy the smut ;)

A/N - I’ve done this a little differently to my other fake boyfriend/girlfriend imagines, as I don’t want to seem repetitive :)

Originally posted by journeyslegend

“You don’t even know me. Get to know me, I promise I’ll change your mind.” You’re glad your back is turned as you roll your eyes in annoyance, not sure how long you’re going to be able to keep up the nice girl attitude for.

Turning to face the determined officer, you smile apologetically, your following answer the same as it always is. “Thanks for the offer again David, but I’m not sure things would work between us.”

“Why? Why do you always say that?” he asks, frustration heavy in his tone, his hand on your car door to stop you from leaving. “Is it because of the MC?”

“No-” You open your mouth to start denying his claims, trying to think of another reason not to go out with a dude that you just don’t find yourself attracted to, when you come up with the perfect solution. “Actually, yes. You’re completely right.”

“Listen, I know you’re close with them, but they’re bad people, (Y/N). You could do so much better.” Here he goes again, you think. Same speech as always. He doesn’t even know SAMCRO like you do, nobody does.

“Thanks for the lecture, David, but Jax asked me to be his girlfriend a couple weeks ago, and I said yes.” The pure horror on his face has you biting your lip to contain your smirk. “See you around.”

Walking into the clubhouse, you scan the room swiftly, not spotting the man you’re hoping to see. “He around, Sack?”

“In the apartments.” he responds, walking into the kitchen with a pair of rubber gloves and a plunger. You grimace, knowing Piney’s probably blocked the bog again. Shaking your head, you walk towards Jax’s residence, knocking on the closed door.

“Room service.” you call sarcastically, your voice sickly sweet. The door opens within a few seconds, Jax’s eyebrow raised, his lips turned up into a grin.

“Lucky me, though you’re slightly overdressed for the kind of ‘room service’ I’m used to.” he says, opening the door to let you in. “Wasn’t expecting to see you till’ later on.”

“I know, but I need to talk to you about a little favour so I thought I’d grace you with my wonderful company.” you tease, plonking yourself down on Jax’s bed. Shutting the door, he sits on a box in front of you, pulling his cigarettes out of his pocket.

“You can just admit you missed me, babe.” He takes a drag, your eyes capturing the way his cheeks hollow as he inhales the smoke, the action stopping your train of thought. “What do you need me for this time, Princess?“

“Are you ever going to drop that nickname? You’ve called it me for years.” He grins cheekily, the smoke parting from his pink lips as he shakes his head at you, knowing deep down you love the endearment. “Anyway-”

A knock on Jax’s door stops you, the two of you turning to see Chibs’. “Sorry to interrupt. Cops are here.”

“Could they be any further up our asses?” Jax spits rhetorically, discarding his cigarette in an ashtray on his cabinet before standing up. You follow him as he leaves the room, Chibs leading the way as the three of you head out to the front. All you’re thinking is please don’t be Hale.

You curse silently as you see the man himself standing against his police car, Jax tensing up as he sets eyes on the deputy. “You’re here so much I’m starting to think you wanna patch in.”

Hale just scowls, his eyes shifting to you as you move from behind Jax, stepping to take position between the Scot and the VP. He watches you for a moment, and you know Jax catches it as you see him look at you questioningly, a pleading look on your face as you hope he just follows your lead.

“We got a call about a guy on a motorcycle running a red light a few blocks from here.” You sigh in disbelief, having a sneaking suspicion that his visit is more out of spite than anything else. “Just here to check your plates.”

“Jesus, how bad did you piss off my dad to go from murders to speeding tickets?” you sass, folding your arms across your chest. Chibs chokes down his chuckle from next to you, taking a drag from his cig to keep down his humour.

“I’m here because it’s my job, (Y/N), to make Charming a safer place for our citizens.” You roll your eyes, nodding slowly. “Something bothering you?”

“Woah, I thought you were here for us, not for the chief’s daughter. Check your plates and you can be on your way.” Jax states protectively, not liking the way Hale is speaking to you. The officer glares in response, his hand moving to rest on the handcuffs on his belt.

“I wonder how the chief would feel if he knew what you were up to with his daughter.” Hale snaps, his whole entity dripping with jealousy. You swallow nervously, trying to hide the anxiety from your face.

Chibs laughs loudly this time, a laugh so loud with amusement that you can’t help but smile. “Jackie, you naughty boy.”

You share a look with your ‘boyfriend’, him smirking, a cocky grin spreading across his face. You let out the breath you’ve been holding in, Jax’s reaction of enjoyment rather than horror making you feel confident in your lie.

“Oh, I get it now. You’ve got a soft spot for my girl here, and you’re pissed she chose me over you.” Jax says, rolling his tongue over his lower lip smugly. “Not that you were even an option.”

“You watch your mouth, Teller.” Hale warns, his eye twitching as he steps up to Jax, the tension heavy between the two men.

“Or what?” Jax challenges, anger radiating off him in waves.

“We got a problem here, boys?” The voice of your dad cuts through the ever brewing argument, him smiling at you loving before turning his attention back to the two amped up males. “Hale, you’re not stationed to be here.“

You, Chibs and Jax watch on as Hale turns into a flushed mess, having no decent excuse for ever coming to TM in the first place - though you all know why he did.

“Thanks, dad.” You hug your father as you speak, him squeezing you tightly before leaving you to it.

“So, something you need to tell me?” Jax asks as you sit on the bench outside, embarrassment crawling up your body. “Wasn’t aware I was taken, darlin’.”

He nudges you playfully, your hands covering your face as you groan. “He’s been pestering me for weeks, figured you were the best deterrent.”

“Thanks.” Jax deadpans, a small smirk on his face as he passes you the cig, you taking a drag as you think about what to say. “Glad I could be of service, I guess.”

“Thanks for going along with it. Guess I owe you one.” You tap off the ash and pass the stick back, biting your lip anxiously. “How about I do you a favor?”

“Sweetheart, no offence but the kind of favours I’d like to have you do for me aren’t exactly innocent.” You cough, his reply completely unexpected, your core tingling involuntarily.

“Try me.” you tease, your gaze flickering to his lips for just a second, your hand coming to rest on his thigh, fingertips inching upwards.

Next thing you know, the two of you are locked at the lips, thankful that the clubhouse is empty, the others off on runs and whatever else. “How long have we got?”

“Half hour, tops.” Jax mumbles, connecting his lips back to yours, his tongue in your mouth eliciting a moan from you. “I don’t see us lasting that long to be honest, darlin’.”

You squeal as you feel yourself being lifted, the pool table becoming your seat as Jax places you on top. You rip at his flannel, the buttons scattering all over the room. Your fingers explore up and down his chiseled chest as he begins to nibble and suck at your neck, your eyes closing in pleasure as he works his way down.

“Please, Jax…” you pant, your underwear positively soaked as his tongue slips over your exposed skin. He practically growls at your pleading, him ripping himself from you as he expertly undoes his jeans, the fabric pooling at his ankles, his boxers joining the denim.

Your eyes widen as his cock stands before you, you pressing your thighs together subconsciously as the ache grows stronger. “Like what you see, Princess?”

“Don’t get too smug, Jackson, gotta see if you can fuck me well enough, first.“ His hands pull at your shorts, you lifting your ass to help assist as he rids the material from your legs. Once he’s discarded the fabric somewhere across the room, he connects his lips back to yours, lifting and squeezing your ass as he moves to you to the edge of the table.

You barely feel him move your underwear to the side before he sinks into you, a gasp leaving your lips as he nuzzles into your neck, his teeth biting at your skin as he fills you up.

You dig your nails into his biceps as he moves out of you, slamming back in deeply. He pulls back, loving the expressions you make as he fucks you so well, the little moans and gasps leaving your lips making him want to explode there and then.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to feel you around me, (Y/N).” You place your hands behind you to steady yourself, your pussy feeling even wetter as he talks to you. “You feel so fucking good, baby.”

“I’m so close, already. Fuck, just like that.” you whine as he hits all the right places, his strokes alternating in speed, but never lacking in power.

You rub your clit, clenching your pussy as you come, your mouth open yet nothing comes out. “That’s it, come for me, baby. Good girl.”

Jax grips the back of your neck as he speeds up his thrusts, his gaze locked on yours as he gets closer and closer to climaxing. You’re practically on fire as you feel another orgasm creeping up on you, the pure hunger in Jax’s eyes making you more sensitive than ever.

“Who knew you could take cock so well.” he whispers as he drills into you, a high pitched moan slipping from your lips. “Imagine if someone walked in right now, saw what a dirty slut you are, so desperate for me.”

His degrading words push you over the edge, a loud curse leaving you as stars fill your vision, Jax continuing to slam into you as he rides you through your high. “You gonna take my come, hm? Gonna let me fill you up like the good girl you are?”

“Yes, fuck, please Jax.” you plead desperately, your nails clawing down his stomach as he places hos forehead against your own, his eyes clenching shut as he let’s go.

He kisses you roughly as he comes inside of you, his hips gently rocking as his hot spurts shoot inside of you, your teeth sucking at his bottom lip.

He pulls out of you slowly, his juices and your own dripping from your satisfied pussy, your body feeling empty without his shaft inside of you.

Jax buckles up his pants, grabbing your shorts before lifting you up as if you weigh nothing. He carries you down the hall, just in time in fact as voices begin to fill the clubhouse.

Reaching his room, he places you down on the bed, his body crawling over yours as he moves a piece of hair from your face. “I’ve gotta go for a vote, but when I get back, we’re gonna see how sexy you look on your hands and knees.”

With that, he’s gone, leaving you shaken and hungry for more.

A/N - It’s been a whileeeeeee since I wrote some smut, but I’m so glad with how this turned out!!!! Hope you guys likeddddddd xxxx

What else do you love about me? // SHAWN MENDES

Overview: Y/n and Shawn talk about what they love about each other.

Authors note: Purely wrote this so I could gush about how amazing Shawn is 


“Why are you so hot?” I ask while I layed on the hotel bed, my legs hanging off the side. 

“What?” Shawn laughs, turning around and looking at me through the doorway from the bathroom.

I tilt my head to look at him. “I mean like, I know you go to the gym and everything but you’re face- flawless. I cannot find one flaw on your face,” 

“Is that so?” Shawn hums, his back muscles shifting as he turned the tap off after finishing rinsing his toothbrush.

“I’m not usually one to obsess over looks because personality is key,”

“Are you saying my personality sucks?” Shawn teases, flicking the lights off in the bathroom and he leans against the door frame.

I shoot up right, “Not at all. You’re a 10 out of 10. You have the full package. Good as looks, most amazing personality and you can sing. No wonder you got the chicks swooning,” 

Shawn’s head tips back as he laughs, “I only need one chick to swoon and that’s you,” 

“See, that is what I mean. That right there was perfect,” I point at him as I speak.

“Did it make you swoon?” he says smirking, sending a shiver down my spine.

“Just a little bit,” I grin, flopping back onto the mattress.

“What else do you love about me?” Shawn walks over crawling onto the mattress, laying on his side, head propped up on his hand to look at me.

“You have the softest hair ever. Do you use product? I’ve never seen you put any in but then again, I’m never awake early enough to see if you do anything after your shower,” I trail off, eyes flicking to meet his.

“All natural baby,” he smiles, his eyes warm as they lock with mine.

“Of course it is. I’m seriously considering that you might be a Greek god like Hercules or something. Left on earth to be raised by human parents so you could bless all us humans,”

“Pretty sure I’m human Y/n,” he says laughing.

“To be discussed,”

Silence settles over us, the heater humming creating background noise. Shawn leans closer, his nose brushing my cheek.

“Want to know what I love about you?” He whispers, his breath fanning my face.

“My charm?” I ask, winking at him. A chuckle escapes his lips, his head falling onto my shoulder.

“As much as I love your charm I also love how you always try and find something positive in every situation,” 

“I guess I do that,” I smile softly, pecking his nose.

“You also show so much love to all your friends and family. You don’t halfheartedly love someone, you put your whole soul and body into it,” He kisses my forehead gently. “Thats why I’m so lucky to have you in my life and to be able to receive your love,”

“Dammit Shawn, I’m going to cry,” I let out a shaky laugh.

“Aw baby no, this is meant to be a happy moment,” Shawn tucks some hair behind my ear.

“They’re happy tears don’t worry,” I smile at him, my heart feeling as though it would burst at the sight of the man in front of me.

“You’re also the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life,” he says and I gasp.

“But what happened to and I quote ‘she’s not even drop dead gorgeous’,” 

“Y/n,” he laughs, shaking his head at me. 

“Its okay, apparently it kills you anyway,”

SUPER TEXT LIST! (Texts From Last Night Inspired)

originally from frommemetoyou

  • [text] Are you lost?
  • [text] NO! That was a typo
  • [text] Did you buy it?
  • [text] I think I’m a mermaid
  • [text] I know it’s 3am, but come over and cook for me. 
  • [text] Too lazy to booty call, so have this text instead
  • [text] Need to bury a body, it’s urgent.
  • [text] Are you sure there’s no monsters?
  • [text] It was an accident.
  • [text] lol fuk da police
  • [text] send me a picture and i’ll be home quicker ;)
  • [text] DO NOT READ THE LAST MESSAGE IT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU
  • [text] Well maybe I broke my tongue!
  • [text] Please tell me you’re free today! I’ve got some big news today.
  • [text] Got a spare ticket, do you want to come?
  • [text] Do you have a spare mankini I can borrow?
  • [text] Is fancy dress allowed at the wedding?
  • [text] I was using my old baby blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
  • [text] We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead… I just rolled off and tapped out. 
  • [text] Like alphabetically, I’d say a t?
  • [text] I’m sorry if throwing up in the back of your dad’s car ruined our friendship :(
  • [text] there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night singing karaoke and drink out of juice cartons. don’t judge me.
  • [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.
  • [text] Do you know where I am?
  • [text] My wedding is in 5 hours and I have no idea where I am. Help!
  • [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would get a piggy back ride home. I’ve never been so broken.
  • [text] Is “head down ass up” an appropriate way to say good morning?
  • [text] That is definitely not healthy, in fact I’m not sure it’s legal to send that sort of picture?
  • [text] There isn’t enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow instead.
  • [text] Not sure if I took a nap or went to another dimension
  • [text] ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! HE IS A TRIPLET, WE DONT NEED TO FIGHT OVER HIM WE CAN HAVE AN ORGY INSTEAD
  • [text] No no don’t leave me, who’s going to walk me home
  • [text] She wheeled me home in a trolley and sad she loved me, I think I win.
  • [text] My dick just got serenaded.
  • [text] I ate the whole wheel of cheese. Help.
  • [text] I’ve been hiding under the bed for the past 20 minutes, and now they’re getting into it and it’s a little too late for me to jump out and surprise them. So expect a live sex updates
  • [text] The fridge is fully stocked. I’m either hallucinating or this is a miracle
  • [text] I need you to help me clean the house because I have visitors in less than an hour???
  • [text] Your brother is at the front door- WHAT DO I SAY?!
  • [text] It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you
  • [text] I’m in A&E but I don’t really know why
  • [text] Went to bed with a 10, just about woke up with a 2 and a half
  • [text] I think I’m officially a homewrecker because his wife just walked in screaming and he said it’s not what it looks like. I mean what else could it look like? I wasn’t trimming his hairs with my mouth?!
  • [text] My night ended with me crying in a gutter, I hate you.
  • [text] He’s decorated the toilet with his urine. I never want to see him ever again, tell him he has 2 minutes to get out of our house.
  • [text] Don’t talk to me! You tried to trade me for a glass of wine and a cigarette!
  • [text] I promise I’ll get everyone to jelly wrestle with us xox
  • [text] I am armed with a crown, a sash and a bouquet of flowers. Don’t test me.
  • [text] I think I got married last night?
  • [text] I think I got married on impulse last night… and after looking a second time, I don’t think i’ve made any mistakes.
  • [text] My mouth tastes like poor choices
  • [text] I didn’t let go of the mechanical bull, but they had to pull me off because… it was rough just the way I like it and I think that showed?
  • [text] If I say it was accidental you’ll just say I’m lying
  • [text] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my… everywhere
  • [text] You’re my hero
  • [text] You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me, thank you
  • [text] Have you ever had a good idea in your life?
  • [text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again?
  • [text] It’s not a good night if I don’t end up crying into your mother’s lap.
  • [text] Mark my words, your dad will be my sugar daddy, he’ll marry me and you’ll have to call me momma bear and I will interrupt your sex life with condoms and condiments.
  • [text] I’m may be allergic to nuts, but not his.
  • [text] She high fived me out of pity
  • [text] You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
  • [text] You just walked in, rated their performance, dragged in three other people to clap for them, then walked back out.
  • [text] You kept calling me baby Jesus and trying to see what wise men had to say about my hair…
  • [text] I am a responsible adult. I tied up my hair before I puked
  • [text] I am a responsible adult, I brought home a lost kitten and let it shit in your room
  • [text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?
  • [text] It may or may not have been your sister…
  • [text] It may or may not have been your brother…
  • [text] If you’re not coming over with food, don’t come over at all
  • [text] Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My co-worker is talking to me about her birds having sex again…
  • [text] IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
  • [text] Buy me a helicopter, I will give you the last slice of pizza. pls. this is important. okay maybe the crust?
  • [text] Let’s never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
  • [text] I tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help.
  • [text] I told her my cum counts as protein shake and she sent a text to my gran saying I ate her cat.
  • [text] If you don’t fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we’re alone in your room, I’m returning you to the boyfriend store
  • [text] I accidentally sexted your mum, I’m sorry xox
  • [text] There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
  • [text] I feel like you’re pretending I didn’t bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a “comfy place to sit”
  • [text] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really don’t know what you took, but you need a babysitter.
  • [text]  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a “let’s fuck” way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of “let me wash your hair” way.
Ecstasy (M)

Plot: Once always ends up meaning over and over again. You had a sinful addiction towards your roommate’s boyfriend, one that really couldn’t be controlled for long.

Pairing: Jeon Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Smut, highschool au!

Warnings: cheating, oral (receiving), GETTING FUCKED AGAINST THE WALL BY JUNGKOOK, shower sex, (almost) getting caught

Notes: Good girl part 2, ya’ll. Since someone asked for it and I was in the mood. u caught me at a good time, anon. I hope you guys like it. I feel like the quality of my smut had really gone down so like, I”M SO SORRY. 2.5K Words

Good Girlmasterlist

Originally posted by dream-bts

Jeon Jungkook was like a drug.

After that one hook-up in your living room, he just kept coming back for more. It was either the excitement of getting caught, or the fact that you gave him so much more pleasure than his girlfriend did.

He was still with Jenna, but at this point, you doubted he even cared about her.

Whenever she would go for parties, he would inform you when she had gotten lost in the crowd, then you would either go over to his place or he would come over to yours.

Keep reading

I was talking to Nina about ADD and I just realized how to describe it. So let me put it here.

Focus is something you hear from a young age, focus on this, focus on that, why don’t you remember these things. And you don’t think it’s abnormal, because people forget things, they’re people. And maybe you forget to tie your shoes and people make fun of you for it, but you don’t mind cus it’s a quirk, you’re just forgetful that’s all, and in children that is fine.

Then you enter school. Your teachers ask you to sit still in chairs, or to be quiet, or to stop drawing, or to pay attention or combos of them all. And it’s hard, it’s so hard to do those things and when you can’t manage it, you’re misbehaving. Maybe your grades start to drop because everything seems to slip by, the board in front of you might as well be covered in fog for how well you can focus on it. Or maybe you skate by because the work is easy, you might not be able to focus on the lessons entirely but you can force yourself to tune in for just enough to stitch it together. 

It doesn’t matter which one you are, or if you’re another. Eventually, at some point, you come to a conclusion. Because people won’t let you forget it, how easy it should be to remember to eat lunch, how easy it should be to study by reading over notes, how easy it should be, how easy-

Focusing is natural for everyone else. They don’t have to think about it like you do. They struggle sometimes, for sure, but often clicking in is just natural. Focus is a choice. 

Focus is not a choice for you. It’s an effort. It’s the hardest work you ever do when you’re not interested in something and someone wants you to watch a board and listen to them talk work for word. It’s like keeping eye contact for a straight hour without blinking. When you can keep focus, it tires you, takes everything you have, and you hate that it’s so easy for everyone else. And when you can’t, when you catch the first five minutes and a thought drifts your way and suddenly the lesson is over, you look at your empty page of notes and wonder why you keep fucking it up.

You start to feel stupid. Maybe your grades reflect it. Maybe they don’t. Either way it starts to stick, how everyone else can do this so easy and you can’t. Like you’re supposed to be able to do it. People get frustrated with you, why don’t you remember this conversation, why can’t you study, god if you only tried-

You want to scream you try. You try your heart out. But everyone seems to certain you don’t. The things that help you focus better, chipping nailpolish off, drawing, tapping your leg, are all signs you’re not giving it your all. They’re signs you’re lazy. You wonder if your trying isn’t enough. Maybe you’re supposed to give everything. You stop your drawing, your movements and your grades slip and it’s not supposed to be like this, you’re stupid, why are you so stupid-

Maybe one day, you realize you’re not stupid. It’s brain chemistry. Maybe they give you drugs that help and suddenly the world is a little clearer, and focusing is easy and was it supposed to be this easy, is that why no one got it? Because they never knew what it was like to cling off the edge of an icy ledge and have no purchase? Or maybe drugs don’t work and you find other ways to work, move lectures to hands on assignments, study by writing yourself practice exams and filling them out yourself, drawing problems to see them rather than to focus on an abstract. Maybe it helps some days. Maybe it doesn’t. But you know it’s not you and that’s what counts. 

You still feel stupid though, some days. When you forget your keys, or laugh too loud, or forget fragments of conversation. Because it’s supposed to be easy and you can’t quit that thought no matter how hard you try. Except-

Sometimes, with some things, things you really care about, focus isn’t a problem. Maybe it’s a tv show you like, maybe it’s a hobby you enjoy, maybe it’s a subject you can’t learn enough about. It’s something that matters, something that you love. There you can focus. You can do more than focus: you can tune out the rest of the world like it’s nothing. The world centers to you and the thing, and until you pull yourself out, it remains that way. In this world, you’re never stupid. You’re just you, and you can see everything in front of you crystal clear. 20/20.

You put the thing you love away. The real world awaits.  When you get up, you forget to bring your empty mug of tea with you.

And for a moment, just a moment, that’s okay. 

(s)he

This is that fic I was talking about the other day, the one I wasn’t sure I wanted to post. I ended up writing TWO similar but distinct fics (different POV, different ending) based on the premise of this fic because I just kept tinkering with it, so this is the second version. The first one… idk, maybe I’ll toss it or maybe I’ll post it later for the curious among you.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Sterek high school AU, G, 1.7k words

Stiles thinks Scott is joking at first, mostly because he’s laughing so hard he can barely get the words out. “There’s a guy backstage asking for you by name. He’s got flowers.”

Stiles rolls his eyes and goes back to wiping the lipstick off his mouth. After four performances, he can get in and out of the dress and the wig in no time flat. He can even walk in heels without too much wobbling. But the lipstick? Bane of his existence. It still takes him a good five minutes of careful wiping and rubbing with petroleum jelly, and even then his mouth always has this odd orangish-coral tinge by the time he goes home for the night. By that point he’s usually too frustrated by the whole thing to even begin to bother with cleaning off the mascara.

Thank god this is closing night, and in a minute they can all go out for tacos and Stiles can set to work forgetting about lipstick for the rest of forever.

Scott’s still hovering at the door, anticipatory. “I think he likes you. Like, like-likes.”

“Ha ha,” Stiles says flatly. He tilts his head to the left and then to the right in front of the mirror, angling his face up into the lights. “Do you think I got it all?”

Scott gives him a careless glance. “Yeah, sure. Looks fine. But no, seriously, the girl who sells the tickets told me he’s shown up to every single performance.”

Scott isn’t joking. He’s laughing at Stiles (and okay, if their positions were reversed, Stiles would totally be laughing at Scott, too), but he isn’t joking. Fuck. Not even Stiles’ dad has come to every performance. 

Keep reading

BTS Reactions To You Accidentally Giving Them A Boner

♡Seokjin♡:

You weren’t very fond of people waking you up. Seokjin unfortunately learned this the hard way when he had done it accidentally only to have to face your wrath. However, he had learned with time and progression through your relationship, that there was a way to get you to wake up happy.

He had begun his work in the kitchen when the smell of delicious food sprung you to consciousness. You were practically drooling as you made your way to the kitchen in nothing but Seokjin’s shirt and a flimsy pair of underwear.  

“Good morning Jagi,” he cooed as he heard your approaching steps. 

“What are you making?” You asked excitedly as you spotted him.

He looked back and was just about to answer when he finally turned to look at you. He could feel himself growing hard as his gaze was suddenly drawn to your exposed legs. The sight of you in just his shirt was irresistible but Seokjin being the gentleman he was, waited until after you ate before making a move. 

You had just begun to wash the dishes when he suddenly reached over you to shut the tap off. He pressed his body behind yours and held you close to him as he whispered into your ear, “I want dessert Jagiya.” 

“O-oh yeah? What did you want to eat?” You stuttered as you became aware of his growing bulge pressed against your ass. 

“You,” he breathed before he turned you around and rid you of his shirt. His hands quickly coming into contact with your exposed skin. 

Originally posted by syubbie

♡Yoongi♡:

In Yoongi’s eyes you were always attractive. However, it was moments like these; when he saw your eyes burning with passion, that he found you to be absolutely breathtaking. 

Your hands typed furiously against the keyboard, in a rush to get all your ideas for your next article down. You scrunched your eyebrows together and unconsciously bit your lip in concentration, absolutely driving Yoongi insane. 

He didn’t realize how big of turn on this side was of you until he felt a stir in his pants. Fuck.

“Are you almost done?” He asked from where he was lying on the bed, his voice a bit hoarse. 

“Mhm,” was your only answer as you continued to type away. 

Yoongi bit the inside of his cheek, willing his body to calm down. Now was not the time…but he couldn’t help himself. Before he knew it he found his way behind your chair. 

Your eyes shot wide open the second you felt his lips against your neck.

“Yoon-yoongi what are you doing?” You asked a bit breathlessly, as he had instantly gone for the spot you were the most sensitive.

“Can’t you take a break baby?” He whispered hotly against your ear.

Originally posted by talk-me-down-troye

♡Hoseok♡:

“Like this?” You asked Hoseok hesitantly. 

You were beyond nervous. Hoseok was naturally good at dancing, but you on the other hand, could hardly walk without tripping. Which is why you hadn’t understood why Hoseok had asked you to help him practice the dance duet he had been working hard on choreographing. 

“Your body seems a bit stiff Jagiya,” he pointed out and you felt yourself deflate just a little.

“I’m sorry Hoseok. I don’t think I’m the best person to help you with this,” you sighed a tad bit defeated.

“Of course you are Jagiya! Don’t give up,” he encouraged with a bright smile, “just relax.”

You were curious as to what he was up to as he walked closer towards you and grabbed you by the waist.

 “Okay let’s practice another part,” he suggested, “let my body lead yours ok?”

Within seconds he had your bodies blended against one another and he had yours moving to the speed of his. Just as he turned your body, so you’d be facing him, he felt himself stir. 

He usually was pretty good at controlling himself but the sight of your sweaty body against his in the mirrors reflection, must’ve played quite a number on him. He couldn’t help it as he leaned closer towards you and drew you into a passionate kiss, completely stealing your breath away.

You were breathless as you pulled away and looked up at him a bit amused by the sudden attack of his lips, “uh-is that apart of the choreo?”

“Just between you and I,” was all he said before he leaned in to kiss you again, a bit more rougher and messier this time. 

Originally posted by jinkooks

♡Namjoon♡:

Namjoon bit on his bottom lip as he stared at you intently from where he was seated. He couldn’t believe how easily you had managed to excite him. You hadn’t even intentionally done it. You had come over with the intention of watching a movie with him when you suddenly helped yourself to a banana. 

At the sight of your lips encircling the banana, any thoughts in Namjoon’s mind of a fluffy movie night was thrown out the window. 

“Namjoon?” You tilted your head in curiosity as you caught on to his intense stare.

Namjoon cleared his throat, a poor attempt at trying to calm himself down. It was too late, the desire to feel your body against him was too strong. 

“Are you done with that banana?” He asked, and you noticed that his voice was more hoarse than usual.

You looked at him, confused by the question, “…yes? Why?”

His eyes darkened as he gave you a small smirk, “because I’d rather have your lips wrapped around something else.”

It didn’t take much time for you to understand what he meant by that, Namjoon didn’t even really give you much time to think either. Before you knew it, he had you pinned under him on the couch.

Originally posted by jeonsshi

♡Jimin♡:

Jimin quietly cursed himself. Why had he thought that it’d be a good idea to have you sit on his lap?

He loved keeping you close but right now, he seriously regretted his decision. Especially since all the other members were gathered in the dorm’s living room with the two of you. You were just trying to get comfortable, but your constant movement had him getting hard, fast. The swelling of his dick was out of his control.

Your eyes widened the second you felt his bulge pressed up right against your ass. You turned around and sent him a questioningly glance.

“It’s because you keep moving,” he whispered, trying hard not be heard by the other members.

“Sorry,” you apologized, but you couldn’t help but feel a bit amused by the situation. Especially, when you saw Jimin close his eyes as he concentrated on calming himself down.

A sudden playfulness washed over you as you intentionally moved your ass a certain way against his bulge. You let a small smile grace your lips as you heard him release a soft hiss. 

“Are you okay?” You asked feigning innocence and that was the last straw for him. 

Before you knew it, Jimin had excused you both before leading you to his room only to have him press you up against a wall the second the door was closed.

Originally posted by park-jimizzle

♡Taehyung♡:

“Stay still,” you giggled as you pushed Taehyung down on the bed and crawled on top of him, straddling him. 

“Uh Jagiya, what are you doing?” He muttered as a flush began to bloom across his cheeks.

You couldn’t help but laugh, “don’t get all excited now.”

“I’m not,” he lied. He could already feel himself stirring in his pants, this was the affect you had on him. 

“Taehyung look at me,” you smiled, “I want to see your eyes.”

“My eyes?” He asked confused, but turned to look at you anyways. His excitment only growing at your close proximity. 

You nodded your head and leaned down so there was only a few inches between your lips and he contemplated kissing you. 

The second you saw the speck you had been searching for you grinned fondly, “ahh there it is! I love the mole under your eye so much.” 

Satisfied, you moved to get off his lap but Taehyung flipped your bodies instead so you were the one under him.

“I told you not to get excited Tae,” you jokingly chastised. 

“It’s a little too late for that…because of you I have a big problem now. it’s only fair that you help me with it,” he smirked as he licked his lips, the shyness from a few seconds ago completely gone.

You let out a small laugh before you drew him in for an intense kiss.

Originally posted by youngest-k

♡Jungkook♡:

Fuck. Was the only thought running through Jungkook’s mind as his eyes were glued to your body.

Why had he thought this would be a good idea?

Jungkook hadn’t fully thought it through when he asked you to join him for his workout. Of course he knew stretching was important, but was it even legal for you to look this good as you did?

You had no idea about the affect you were having on him as you began your exercise with squats. Jungkook was restless and couldn’t seem to focus on anything but you and eventually there was a stir in his pants and he inwardly cursed. He no longer had any control over his body as his mind began to fill with lustful thoughts. 

You had just been going down for another squat when you felt Jungkook wrap his arms around your waist drawing you close to him. Your eyes began to widen as you felt something poking you from behind and finally realized what it was.

“Baby, I don’t think this was a good idea,” was all he said before he turned you around and captured your lips in his. 

Originally posted by sugutie

~

I hope you enjoy<33 Special thanks to admin k for some of the ideas<3

~Admin Coffee

Request: Sharp Objects

Request: HI I love your fics!! could you do a deanxreader where dean broke his right hand on a hunt and can’t shave himself so the reader, with hidden feelings for dean, does it for him with lots of fluff please

Word Count: 1,270

Thank you<3

“Ouch! Jesus Christ, that’s a bitch.” The muffled cursing comes from behind the bathroom door, then followed by the clinking sound of something falling into the ceramic sink, and finally a, “Son of a bitch!”

Despite the laundry pile you’re carrying, you swerve across towards the door and knock a couple of times with your free hand, “Dean? Everything alright in there?”

There’s a moment of silence, and then a short reply, “Fine.”

He’s obviously frustrated – a tone you’ve quickly become accustomed to hearing after dragging him home from the hospital a few days ago. He’d landed badly after being catapulted across the room by an overzealous ghost and broken a hand, whereas Sam had gotten off with a concussion and you’d somehow managed to slip away injury-free – which had inevitably resulted in you skivvying around to cater to their every whim.

While Sam had managed to get over himself somewhat and take it easy while the hellish egg on his head goes down, Dean has been trying to do everything as normal. He hates being laid up like this, and trying to get everything done for himself has just resulted in more hurt and hindrance than help.

You still linger outside the door for a few moments, “Can I help at all?”

He hesitates, and for a long moment you wonder if he’s actually going to accept, “I could use a clean towel.”

“Got one here. Mind opening the door?” You ask, after trying to get in and finding the door locked. Again, a hesitation, but then the door opens, Dean fumbling with his good hand for a few moments to get it undone.

You pride yourself on being able to keep a poker face. Sometimes giving the enemy no indication of your emotions could mean the difference between life and death – sometimes it’s imperative that a victim doesn’t know what you’re thinking. But this time, when it’s important that you don’t make a sound so Dean doesn’t slam the door in your face, you just can’t seem to freaking manage it.

“I know, alright?” He huffs as you sidle into the bathroom and begin draping the towels from the pile over the towel rack, trying desperately not to laugh. It’s not your fault – he’s covered in shaving cream – it’s smudged over his nose and there are even splatters in his eyebrows. It’s all white, apart from a trail of crimson blood slipping down the side of his face.

“You can’t shave left-handed?” You guess, taking note of the razor left in the sink and the cast immobilising his right hand. He sighs wearily, and then nods.

“Nope. I’ve never had to try before, and I was starting to look even more homeless than Sam.” He complains, taking a towel from you when you offer one to him.

“Dean, for crying out loud, you shattered your hand. I think you’re allowed to look homeless for a little while.” You reassure him, balancing the rest of the laundry – mostly jeans and a handful of flannels – on the countertop, “If you really want it sorted, I’ll do it for you.”

As soon as the offer has left your mouth, you regret it – the very idea of managing to get so close to him without blushing like a five year old, or completely losing your breath… impossible. And yet, he nods, smiling ruefully.

“Would you mind? I just… can’t.” He shrugs, and you smile back, nodding and shooing him off towards the closed toilet seat.

“Go on then, sit down.” You instruct, picking up the razor and running the warm tap to clear it off. You let the tap run for a little while, filling the basin, and then approach Dean carefully, “You have to promise to stay still. Usually when I’m so close to someone with something this sharp it doesn’t end very well for them.”

He laughs, leaning back with the force of it, “That’s not encouraging, Y/N.”

“I said I’d do it. I never said I’d do it well.” You remind him with a smile – humour: humour is how you get through this without making a complete idiot of yourself.

“Much appreciated, beautiful.” He winks, and it’s all you can do to force out a snort and place your fingers beneath his chin to tilt his head up a little.

“Mm, whatever you say,” Sometimes it’s difficult not to take his words too seriously, and you have to remind yourself that Dean Winchester can and will flirt with anything that moves – you’re not special to him beyond being good friends and hunting buddies.

“Well, the closer you get, the more I’m thinking it.” He mumbles, remaining still as stone as you skin the razor over his skin smoothly – you’re painstakingly careful, starting on the opposite side to the cut on his lower cheek. He chuckles when you lean back to dunk the razor in the sink, then move back over to him.

“I’ll stay well back, then.” You wink in response, but contradict your own statement by leaning close enough to him that his breath ghosts over your face. His eyes remain trained on your face, watching every movement as you press your lips together, squinting in concentration. You try your best to ignore it, being as careful and steady as your humanly can manage while you get to work.

His eyes don’t leave you until you’re finished, patting down his face with a towel and then handing it to him – only then does he force himself to look away, watching as you clear up and set everything back in its place.

When he finally manages to open his mouth, he’s expecting the words that come out to be ‘thanks, Y/N’ – instead, they’re, “When you’re concentrating, your nose does this funny little thing.”

You turn slowly, quirking an eyebrow in a manner he can only describe as adorable, “Excuse me?”

“It kinda… wrinkles. But just at the tip. Right here.” He taps his own nose, a small smile playing on his lips, “And you blink a lot. I just… never noticed before.” Dean confesses, giving a nonchalant shrug and trying to ask as if he isn’t mortified by the words.

Rather than make a comment, you give a smile, wiping your hands off and stepping back, “I suppose I’m not the kind of person people pay a whole lot of attention to.” It’s not meant to be self-deprecating, but Dean takes it that way nonetheless.

“You have got to be kidding me.” He rolls his eyes, standing up and poking at the cast as if his hand would be magically healed, “Y/N, you turn heads everywhere you go.”

“Yeah, right, of course.”

“Hey, look at me,” He takes your wrist in his hand, turning you to face him properly, “You’re beautiful. Really, truly beautiful. And smart, and kind, and funny. And people notice that. I notice that.”

That’s when your heart really does skip a beat – his eyes are on yours, emeralds glinting in the harsh white light of the bunker’s main bathroom.

“Dean, I-“

“You don’t need to reply to that. Didn’t mean to back you into a corner. Sorry.” Dean smiles sheepishly, scratching at the back of his neck with his good hand – but you shake your head, stepping forward with all of the boldness you can muster.

“I want to.” You assure him, taking his good hand and squeezing it gently, “I don’t care about anyone else noticing. Just you.”

He hesitates, then glances sideways, at the door, “Can I kiss you?” He blurts, flushing red like an embarrassed teenager.

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”