Clay is socially awkward and doesn’t always say or do the right thing but he is a good person.
He did nothing wrong. He did exactly what Hannah told him to. He always does what people tell him to do. He always follows the rules. Hannah was upset and told him to leave and so he did.
But if he’d just looked beyond what she was yelling at him, he would have seen that the last thing she needed at that moment was to be alone. If he’d stopped being so nervous and just told her how he felt things might have turned out differently. If he’d just stopped being Clay for a second he would have seen that it was a cry for a help.
If he’d just stayed with her Jessica never would have been raped, Sheri wouldn’t have knocked the stop sign over, Jeff wouldn’t have died and Hannah might still be alive.
Clay did nothing wrong. How was he to know what Hannah was going through if she never told him? Clay is not the kind of person who can read how people are feeling and know what’s going on inside their head.
Clay, who has the kindest, most pure heart, blames himself. He did nothing wrong but he could have stopped it. The ‘what if’s’ are going to haunt him for the rest of his life and that breaks my heart.
I don’t know what to write. I am speechless. I am wordless. I am weightless. I have been high, floating, flying, since the moment we parted. I’ve actually taken to wearing my mask again, because I can’t stop smiling. Rey, my darling, I am yours, body, heart and soul. Nothing else matters. Literally nothing. I don’t give a womp rat’s ass what happens to the First Order now. Nothing matters but us. Just the mere fact that after a mere 48 hours stuck together (thanks again for sharing your food capsules, by the way), there actually is an us, that my beautiful, perfect Rey has professed herself my love, and not just in my dreams. Rey, my darling Rey, the rest of the galaxy can eat shit and die, for all I care.
I know, I know, I can all but hear you muttering that I’m only thinking with my dick. That’s probably true. I suppose all men have two brains, but I am apparently one of the few for whom the one in my trousers is clearly the wiser of the two. Who would have thought that my dick was so clear-sighted? It did arguably lead me to you.
But what an adventure we had on Jedha - so many, many surprises. I admit, it was my original intention to fuse the artifact shards using the Chaos Idol, harnessing the power of conflict, as Snoke has always taught me to. But after my time with you, I do not regret allowing you to fuse them using the Harmony Idol, focusing the power of balance. I’ve never felt anything so powerful, at least, not at that point in the proceedings ;)
What happened after that though, when the Idol came to life and declared that we would not be allowed to leave the temple until we’d found harmony, when those giant stone doors suddenly slammed shut… I was so torn between feeling annoyed at being trapped, and overjoyed at being trapped with you. I had waited so long to have a real, deep conversation with you that didn’t involve lightsabers, but looking back, I wasn’t really prepared. Your questions were - well, they were intense, but justly so. I confess, I feel a little embarrassed at all the crying I did. Far more than you, I think. I do not regret it though. How could I, with you there to comfort me? How you put your hand on mine, a touch became a caress, a caress became an embrace, and embrace became… Well, 48 hours with nothing to do but talk, and… I suppose boredom is an extremely underrated aphrodisiac, isn’t it? Not that talking with you was boring, but I suspect that listening to my regrets for hours on end probably was. That and, well, there’s only so much one can say with mere words.
I can only imagine - it makes me laugh to imagine - the look that must have been on our faces, when we discovered that the temple exit had opened, at some point during our harmonizing. My dearest Rey, I am yours. I am yours I am yours I am yours. Snoke can fuck right off. I would leave the Order right this moment, if I could, but things are a bit more complicated. But I will risk it if you ask it of me.
To be perfectly honest, I have grown rather disillusioned with the First Order, anyway, even aside from certain unfortunate events a few months ago. Snoke has spent so much time telling me what I need to do to become stronger, and I have realized that nothing he has ever suggested has actually worked, and some of those suggestions have led me to actions that I deeply regret. When I started there, it seemed like such a good idea. A job for life (where can you ever find that, these days?), where you make a difference, all with a first-class benefits package? But it’s been awhile since I’ve started to question whether I like this difference we are making. And there’s been so much belt-tightening since Starkiller. No caf in the break room, and Taco Tuesdays have been cancelled indefinitely. And then there is the new health plan - the deductibles, Rey. The deductibles.
Well, I guess I wasn’t quite as wordless as I thought. That’s enough whining from me. Or actually, here’s a little more: I miss you. It’s been a whole six hours since I held you in my arms. I NEED to see you again soon.
Oh, almost forgot, enclosed is an odd little product. I felt that it could be symbolic of the bond we share.
Thinking of you with more than just my dick,
PS. My dick is also thinking of you. It is thinking pretty damn hard.
13 Reasons Why Trigger Warning -- Episode/Scene List
Netflix was good enough to put a trigger warning at the beginning of all the episodes with graphic scenes that may be hard to watch, but, if you skip over the entire episodes to miss some potentially triggering scenes, you may miss an important part to Hannah’s story. Especially if you didn’t read the novel first.
So I took the liberty to make a list of points you can skip to avoid seeing something you don’t want to see, since I wasn’t sure if anyone had done this yet.
Before I post it I want to remind anyone watching this show that there are repeated mentions of suicide, rape, and abuse that may still be hard to listen to. This list is only to skip over the graphic scenes where they fully act out some potentially harmful moments.
I hope this is helpful to any new viewers who want to watch the show without witnessing the abuse, as I admit it was VERY hard to watch.
Episode 9 - Tape 5, Side A
- At 40:00 to around 42:27: there is a semi-graphic rape scene between Bryce and Jessica, which is brought up numerous times throughout this episode and the next few episodes, verbally. (After Bryce leaves there is a minute where Hannah leaves her hiding spot and comes out into the room to cover up Jessica before leaving, if you want to see this part of the scene it begins at about 41:38)
- The scenes between Jessica and Justin, and Hannah and Clay are supposed to be consensual scenes as far as I can tell and remember from reading the novel. But if anyone finds those scenes hard to watch feel free to let me know so I can add them, or add them yourself when you reblog so others who see this are aware.
- At about 46:43 to about 47:02: there is a scene where Justin busts into the room where Bryce and Jessica are, to try and break Bryce off of Jessica. This scene is included because you can still see Bryce on top of Jessica, and I’m not sure how some people may feel about this particular part.
- At about 50:26 to about 51:20: there is a scene where Jessica has a flashback, remembering what happened to her.
Episode 10 - Tape 5, Side B
- At about 40:09 to about 40:53: Although quick, there is a slightly graphic shot of a person who was injured in a car accident. This particular shot is very bloody and slightly gory.
Episode 12 - Tape 6, Side B
- At about 42:56 to about 47:19: there is a scene where Bryce rapes Hannah in the hot tub at his house after a house party. In this 5 minute section it flashes between the Hannah and Bryce scene and Clay confronting Bryce at his house about what he did. If you want to see that part, proceed with caution as it is a quite difficult scene to watch.
Episode 13 - Tape 7, Side A
- At about 35:53 to about 39:00: this is the scene where Hannah commits suicide. In this section, like the previous episode, it flashes between the scene involving Hannah’s death and a scene where Clay is telling Mr. Porter, the school counselor, about what happened to Hannah, and how he could’ve stopped it. so again if you feel Clay’s scene is important for you to watch please proceed with the most caution, this scene is very difficult to watch and very graphic.
These are the scenes I found hardest to watch, but please feel free to add any other scenes to this list that you found particularly hard to watch and feel other people might want to know about. The times might not be exact, I tried my best but it is a little hard to get the exact time on Netflix, so be cautious.
Request; Hi how are you? Can I have a 13 reasons why imagine where you’re on the tapes because you gave Hannah hell after Justin cheated on you with her (which you found out through the text that sent around at the beginning of the show) and Justin trying to apologize to you when he realizes that the tapes were passed down to you
A/N; I’m gonna make a post after this about the next batch of imagines coming out.I made this kind of deep I felt like I was writing a chapter for my wattpad book ( sad ending kind of ) Also you didn’t really tell me how to end it so yea
There are time shifts
Word counter; 1,706(lmaoo long af)
Warnings; I guess Maybe talk about death, suicide(Hannah’s ) panic attacks blah blah blah
Alterations; Justin only has one tape reader it’s tape number 9
Present (Wednesday Morning )
We often make mistakes, we are human it is within our nature as we are raised we are taught that making mistakes isn’t as horrible.That those mistakes make us stronger and that we shall learn from them. What they forget to teach us is that a little mistake goes a long way and all actions have consequences.I made her life a living hell and for that, I will always be sorry but who would have thought that a little game would make a girl want to kill herself.Here I am laying in bed before getting ready for school thinking about all the things I could’ve done to save Hannah’s life. I killed Hannah baker I did it along with the others, Hannah didn’t commit suicide, we killed her, we killed her spirit and her will to live and we will carry that with us until the day we die.
It was Monday afternoon I was exhausted making my way home from school, this week has been crazy with Hannah Baker’s suicide and people wanting to create a memorial. I never really got along with Hannah after I found out Justin cheated on me with her. I make my way up the steps to reach my porch I spot a package with my name on it. I pick it up entering my house greeting my mom with a kiss and quickly making my way up the stairs.I reach my room throwing my bag on top of the bed and going over to my desk eager to open the package. I finally get the package open looking at the show box sitting in front of me. I slowly open it curious to see what’s inside but also scared of what it might contain. It didn’t look like a company package and I hadn’t ordered anything online.I open the package to find a set of tapes. Fifteen of them to be exact I look at the box with a puzzled look but decide to listen to it I pop the first tape in the radio and press play.
“Hey, it’s Hannah. Hannah Baker. That’s right. Don’t adjust your…whatever device you’re hearing this on. It’s me, live and in stereo. No return engagements, no encore, and this time, absolutely no requests. Get a snack. Settle in. Because I’m about to tell you the story of my life. More specifically, why my life ended. And if you’re listening to this tape you’re one of the reasons why. I’m not saying which tape brings you into the story. But fear not, if you received this lovely little box, your name will pop up. I promise.”
My blood ran cold as I heard the intro to the first tape something told me I won’t get any sleep today.The first tape was dedicated to Justin, then Jessica, then Alex, then Tyler, and Courtney, and Marcus then Zach, even Ryan was in it.
This brings me to my tape number 9 my blood ran cold again as I heard the intro.“I can’t really blame you for what you did or the way you reacted, after all, I did kiss your boyfriend but at the time you didn’t let me explain, see the thing is that Justin never mentioned a girlfriend and since I wasn’t really popular I didn’t keep up with who was dating who. I thought Justin was single I should’ve known better I guess.On the contrary of what you think I didn’t sleep with Justin like everyone thought. That day when you walked in the cafeteria , I was already having a bad day , with the rumor of me sleeping with Justin going around school ,that picture and the fact that even Clay didn’t want to talk to me you turned out to be the cherry on top when you walked into the cafeteria and slapped me calling me a slut in front of everyone. I tried keeping my tears in as I rushed to the bathroom and that was the start of how you made my life a living hell (Y/N) welcome to your tape”
My body shook as I finished listening to my tape. My breathing became shallow and tears began to fall it was happening again.My chest began to tighten, I felt my throat close up making it harder to breathe my muscles began to twitch. I was having a panic attack after 6 months of them being gone they came back. I spend the next half hour trying to calm myself. Usually, it was Justin who helped me whispering sweet things to my ear trying to get me to calm my breathing the thing is that he’s no longer here and even though I miss him I don’t think I could ever take him back. He hurt me too much, he lied not only to me but to other people about Hannah.
I decided to stay home yesterday trying to keep myself together and prepare for school today.Justin has been texting and calling me non-stop since he found out I got the tapes, asking if I was okay if I needed anything asking if we could talk. I’ve been ignoring him after listening to the tapes I needed some time for myself to think and sort things out. Guilt was a constant emotion I felt these past days.That feeling when your heart sinks to your stomach the constant feeling of anxiety or like you’re being watched the sadness that comes with it and the certain feeling of darkness that it’s creeping its way to your heart.
After getting ready for school I walk to my car get in and start the engine in less than 10 minutes I’m parked in the parking lot of Liberty High finding the courage to actually step into the school.I get out the car and make my way to the high school entrance I walk through the halls with my head down trying to go unnoticed.I reach Hannah’s locker and stand in front of it looking at it, they decorated it pictures, flowers everyone acted as if they knew Hannah or cared if they cared she would be alive today. I spot Justin at the corner of my eye and my breathing begins to pick up its pace, looking one more time at Hannah’s locker I feel the tears begin to fall as I push my way through the crowd of people making my way to the bathroom.
My breathing starts becoming shallow and I feel it coming I push into one of the stalls trying to take deep breaths my throat begins closing in, I choke on my breathing as it gets harder for the air to get into my lungs.I feel someone open the door to the bathroom but I ignore it trying to focus on my breathing.The door to the stall opens but I keep my eyes focused on the floor trying my hardest to make air reach my lungs, someone picks me up and sits me on their lap hugging me tightly given the scent I know it’s Justin at any other moment I would’ve protested shoved him away from me but I wasn’t in the right mind and as much as I hate to admitted in moments like this he knew how to calm me down.I sat on his arms as he whispered sweet things to my ear and played with my hair.
My breathing began to slow down reaching its normal pace.I slowly move away from Justin’s arms whispering a hushed thank you as I try to stand up.
“ hey, wait I want to talk to you” he says pulling me down so I’m sitting on his lap again
“ why Justin there’s nothing to talk about thanks for the help but that’s it this is where it ends” I say my heart shattering with each word.
“ I just want you to forgive me, I’m truly sorry for everything and I love you and I always will and I regret everything from the start I want you back (Y/N) I can’t sleep at night thinking about how bad I fucked up and I miss you I miss you so much, I just wish I could go back and change everything” he says tears streaming down his face
“ I just don’t understand why you lied to me, you said that Hannah was the one that approached you, I hated her for the longest time for no reason, I drove her to kill herself, you drove her to kill herself, don’t ask me for forgiveness ask her, you killed her , I killed her we all did and everything for what huh?” I say trying to keep tears from falling
“ I don’t know what I was thinking, we all make mistakes please forgive me, I just want to be back with you, I know what I did was wrong and I regret it every day I just wanted to be cool and Bryce pushed me to send the picture around so I did but I never meant any harm and I just I love you please forgive me” he says getting closer to me.At this point, I can’t keep my tears in they flow out like a river
“Justin I’m not going to lie to you, I do I miss you, I miss you so much, my panic attacks started again and you’re the only one that helps me control them and I love you too I love you so much but right now I can’t get together with you we both need healing to do I forgive you I do but I just can’t be with you right now I need time” I say between sobs
“ can we at least be friends I need you in my life, I promise I’ll give you time , I’ll make you fall in love with me again slowly we can try please promise we’ll try” He says standing up. I hug him tightly
“ Yes we can be friends and later on when we are fixed we can try,” I say smiling a little
“I have your forgiveness now I only need to win your heart back,” He says smiling
hey!! lately i’ve been seeing tons of resource masterposts and i decided that i’d be easier if all of these masterposts were combined into one mega masterpost!! i couldn’t possibly link them all but i also added tons of my own links, this took absolutely forever so please, enjoy! :~)
A HUGE WRITING MASTERPOST
200 words that describe light
how to keep a journal
read some slam poetry
huge writing masterpost
how to reveal character
help with writer’s block
find the word that’s on the tip of your tongue
find out which author you write like
write interactive books (kind of like choose your own adventure)
good brainstorming/ organizing tool
zen writing tool
word on the tip of your tongue?
use big and interesting words
Instead of ‘whispered’
Music for writing fight scenes
Emotions vocab sheet
How to reveal character
Writers block resource
Writing a death scene
Music to help you write
Writing prompt generators
Got writers block?
How to torture a character
Degrees of emotion
ULTIMATE writing ref
25 days of fic
how to write a good essay
Writing people of colour
nanowrimo start kit
All Authors need to Know
Alternatives to ‘said’
more writing tips
read books online for free
Want to know who you write like?
10 sites to download free audio books
200 words to describe light
Obscure color words
Body Language Cheat Sheet
Awesome colors to describe eyes
download free books
download free kindle books
how to survive college
Scholarpedia (basically Wikipedia but with reliable sources)
solve any math problem
how to effectively pull an all-nighter
An already typed essay at your fingertips(type the subject and press random stuff and an essay forms)
Didn’t listen in class?
look for your worksheets on here
finals survival guide
free microsoft word alternative
make flash cards
math problem solver (2)
Masterpost of writing software
pull an all nighter but do well on your exam
when to go to sleep/wake up
how to wake up in the morning
learn how to study
Masterlist of study tips
How to cite
Take online college courses
How to multiply big numbers
sleep calculator (wake up feeling refreshed!)
chrome site blocker (use these to block websites so you can finally get work done!!)
firefox site blocker
mac site blocker
have some self control (for macs also)
focus playlist (i use this to study all the time!)
how to find focus
noise generator to help you relax
coffee shop blues
masterpost of sounds of nature
get a cute kitten after doing your work!!
beauty (credit for most of these!)
how to improve your self-esteem (because you’re beautiful!)
flaws to embrace
Newspaper nail tutorial
fun makeup masterpost
filling in eyebrows
how to contour
everyday makeup routine
how to make any color of lipstick… from crayons
natural beauty remedies
the trick to liquid eyeliner
messy bun tutorial
Black/gold ref 1
Cosplay eye makeup
Rotting skin halloween makeup
cool makeup tips
stylish eye makeup
gradient lip makeup
different ways to braid your hair
messy buns tutorial
how to make your own temporary tattoo
apply eyeliner, mascara, and curl lashes with a spoon
5 of the best foundations
acne foundation routine
best powder foundations
quick foundation tip
how to apply liquid foundation
makeup highlights tutorial
blush for your skin tone
how to apply bronzer
how to contour your face
apply blush like a pro
blush according to your face shape
fake freckles with make-up
wash your face correctly
how to wash your face 101
d.i.y. gel liner
get the perfect winged liner
get winged liner using tape
awesome eyeliner tricks
9 different eyeliner looks
different eyeliner styles
guide to applying eyeshadow
suit your eyeshadow to your eyes
glittery smoky eye
get the perfect smoky eye
get beautiful lashes
how to apply fake lashes
best eyebrows for your face shape
get the perfect eyebrows
make-up tricks for brown eyes
get rid of dark circles
how to change your eye shape
a shade for every occasion
kool-aid lip stain
best lipsticks for blondes
hot red lips
how to get gradient lips
lipstick shades for fall
how to make any lipstick look matte
get soft kissable lips
make-up brush tutorial
clean your makeup brushes
make-up brush guide
long lasting makeup tricks
victoria’s secret model tips
when will it expire?
10 makeup tips from mac
best tips from professionals
18 beauty essentials
basics you should own
tons of resources for textures/psds/and backrounds
tons of theme makers
learn how to make tumblr themes
good pixel blog
tumblr picture sizes
mass tag replacer
huge theme-related download pack
post a bunch of things from a blog’s archive
really good redux edits
code for ask box
see problems with your blog/website
see your old themes (also switch back to a theme!)
Check your post limit
Find any reaction GIF
punk edit tutorial
remove backgrounds without photoshop
Photo editing downloads for free
double exposure effect
photoshop brushes masterpost
this blog has a lot of ps resources
so does this one
how to download photoshop for mac for free
how to download photoshop for pc for free
in depth tutorial on how to make a gif
pretty much any photoshop tutorial you will ever need
photoshop help (2) (3) (4)
resources for photoshop
convert youtube to mp3
find mp3 files for any song
Music to help you write
broadway musical soundtracks (amazing)
panic! at the disco
all time low
unreleased katy perry
punk goes …
fall out boy (not the newest album)
sleeping with sirens
how to draw ears
how to make an animated film
learn how to draw anything
turn your paper art into digital
skeleton practice drawing tool thingy
how to draw semi- realistic eyes
how to make pixel art
good reference for drawing water
free digital sculpting tool
silk - interactive generative art
Kneeling + Sitting ref
Dragon head view tutorial
SAI brushes 86786
NGE colour palette
100+ colour palletes
Avoiding same face
free art MyPaint
Body anatomy help
How to shift images using blur in PS
Drawing clothe folding
How to draw ice
SAI brush settings
SAI/PS pixel brushes
Flower crown tutorial
Skin colour palette
Pink colour sheet
How to draw butts&thighs
The male torso
Drawing glowing stuff in SAI
Drawing horse/animal legs on humans
Muscular male with bow stock photos
Drawing grass fields in SAI
All about the human body
20+ colour palettes
Tutorial masterpost (100+)
How to colour
How to draw penis
100+ anatomy references
How to draw folds
SAI brushes 3
Colour palette 4
How to draw 3D rooms
Bodies and poses
SAI brushes 5
Colour scheme designer
Paint tool SAI masterpost
Drawing ref masterpost (10+)
How to draw faces
SAI brushes 4
Anatomy of mutant humans
What should I draw?
Free art software
pastel colour ref
Mass art ref
Soft SAI brushes
ways to draw stuff
SAI brush settings
baseball cap ref
Drawing human wings
Cool free art software
Huge art ref
2 SAI brushes
Photoshop for free
How to accurately draw arms
anatomy and rotation of the head
human anatomy for artists
speed drawing studies
arm and wing movement
box and egg/run of the stroke
a trick for arm proportions
anatomy of the waist
hands and forearms
really interesting websites
fun sites masterpost
play some dumb games
color matching game
games you played back in the day
really cute online games
cards against humanity pdf (a must!!)
takes you to a random location and you have to guess where you are
akinator, the web genie (like guess who!!)
create a fake tweet
talk it out
the quiet place
need a hug?
cute yahoo answers
draw a stickman
coping skills and distractions
givesmehope (so adorable!!)
cut something (blood) (trigger warning)
get a hug
play cute games
see something cute
how to love yourself
Stuff to do if you’re having a bad day
Stuff you can do to help someone smile
Alternative to self harm
Basic ED recovery help
Alternative to self harm (2)
Alternative to self harm (3)
Someone to talk to
How to deal/talk with bipolar and depressed people