When I started Stargate, I got the
part, I was sooothrilled to have this incredible
character, to be playing someone in the military and I had so
much respect, to be playing someone who’s so smart and so liberated
and… I thought, “Yes!”
I had two weeks to move from Toronto to
Vancouver. I flew out there, I had my first wardrobe fitting. And one
of the things that was in… the thing that was in the
wardrobe room was a very low-cut tank top and a push-up bra…
And I turned to the costume designer -
whom I’ve worked with since, who’s wonderful - and I said, “What…
What is this?” And she said “Well, they wanna see
what you look like in it.” And I said, “…but this… nobody
in the military, no captain in the US airforce would wear
this… while her male counterparts are wearing crew neck T-shirts
and… I c… I… I can’t do it!” And she said, “Well, they just wanna
see what you look like and take a picture and…”
I was like “…”
And I panicked because I
thought I have just been given this amazing opportunity - I
didn’t know it would last 10 years but I knew it was gonna
be a kick-ass show - and I was like… “I can’t do it…”
And I started to cry and I said, “You
have to go upstairs and tell them I’m not doing it. And if it means
that they recast the part then recast the part but you’ve cast a
smart woman and you’ve cast somebody who’s never
tried to get a job based on her looks or her body. I’ve always
played strong, smart women, I… I can’t do it. So if they wanna
recast the part I totally get it but I’m not playing that
version of this character.”
But I’m saying this while I’m
blubbering because I’m suffering that I’ve just lost maybe the
best job of my career…
And so she said, “Okay” and I said,
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’ve never
been difficult, I don’t… but I can’t do that!”
So she went upstairs and she came back
down and she said, “Okay, no problem.” And I said, “Okay, so what’s my
costume?” And she said, “Well…” And I said, “Just… What are the guys
So she handed me a black T-Shirt and
the BDUs, which is what my character would wear in the field with her
male counterparts, and that’s where we went from there.
But that to me was the defining moment
And I still cry about it
because I still remember that young woman on the verge of breaking
into the… new something big, being petrified that she was gonna
loose it, but… I knew that I couldn’t play the TNA version of Sam
And to the powers-that-be, great
credit, I don’t think that it was Brad or Jonathan or Rob or any of
those guys who were asking for it, I think it might have been, you
know, much higher up. But to their great credit they were like, “No,
absolutely not. She’s… okay, whatever she’s comfortable in.”
And… thank God that they went that
route. But that was… that was one of the defining moments.
A little belated! I wanted to do a bit of a dedicated artwork for our very own Grand King by…. drawing different versions of himself from different AUs, Normal Oikawa, Vampire Oikawa, Yorozuya Edo-style Oikawa… and Demon King Oikawa. In every incarnation, I’d like to think he’d meet and fall in love with Iwaizumi each time! I enjoyed drawing different versions of Oikawa! (⊙ヮ⊙)
It’s no secret I’m a fan of Jun Takahashi’s creations, be it under his Undercover label or the unmatched technical-wear from the Gyakusou collaboration with Nike. His unique approach merges aesthetic and functionality as few others, often tweaking otherwise ordinary garments. For Undercover’s latest lookbook, named “Season #1″, Takahashi tapped none other than Radiohead’s Thom Yorke to sport his pieces while cruising Japanese backgrounds.
For the pilot it was basically, we were all sort of on probation, they could’ve gotten rid of anyone of us at the end of the pilot so we were all on our very best behaviour, said all the lines that were written and then after the pilot I went up to [the writers] and I said, “Look, women don’t really talk like this.” “And, can we make this character more fully realised and can we make her just an intrical part of the team without actually putting a red flag on the fact that she’s a woman, all the time?” ‘Cause it gets boring. It’s like constantly putting a red flag on the fact that Teal’c is an alien! He really is! He is an alien! Well, I’m a girl! …you know… What’s the point?
“Roman, they’re not your- whatever, fine. Favourite… book to movie adaptation.”
“Ooh, fancy schmancy. Okay, one, two, three-”
“Prisoner of Azkaban.”
They answer perfectly in sync, and Roman gasps, clapping his hands in excitement and delight. “I knew it!”
Virgil rolls his eyes. “Oh, please, you probably just like it cause Harry’s hair is at its most accurate.”
“True, it is fabulously disheveled, but I was more going for… I don’t know, it’s more intangible, just the- the atmosphere is portrayed so well and… of course, there’s still issues- like, The Marauders were not given nearly enough time to explore, nor the Animagi concept and-”
“How about we just watch it, then?” Virgil smirks. “I swear, you’re getting nerdier with every passing day.”
Roman scrabbles around for the DVD, shouting back, “Excuse you, I’ve always been passionate about Potterlore.”
“No, really? I don’t think anyone’s noticed.”
Roman has already pressed play on the DVD, loudly humming along to the theme tune. The beginning passes pleasantly enough, although Virgil starts to feel a horrible prickle of familiarity when Harry storms out of Number 4, Privet Drive. Things are different now, he reminds himself, and he concentrates on trying to keep his breathing measured.
Roman glances at him out of the corner of his eye. He doesn’t say anything, but subtly taps 1, 2, 3, 4 on a pillow, and it helps, a little.
They reach The Knight Bus scene and Virgil hears the laughter building in Roman’s voice, even as he tries to say it casually: “Oh, look.” He points as the talking head cracks another pun. “There’s Patton.”
Virgil bursts out into surprised laughter. “D-doesn’t that make Logan Stan Shunpike?!”
Roman chuckles. “Wait, wait, hold on!” He snaps his fingers and a replica of Logan’s glasses appear on his face. He adjusts them in an uncanny impression, that shatters as he drawls, “Objectively!” in an appalling cockney accent.
“Oh God, never do that again, Roman, I’ll have nightmares.”
There’s comfortable silence for a while. Virgil finds it oddly endearing how enraptured Roman gets while watching the movie: he mouths along with some lines, and his face goes through a roller-coaster of expressions.
And then, they get to the scene where the Hogwarts Express stops.
And Virgil can feel his uneasiness grow, and he should just be silent, damn it, but he feels like just saying something will make him feel better and, hey, Roman will find it funny, right…?
“Oh, look.” Virgil points as Ron’s hand reaches up to cover the ice forming along the train window. “It’s me.”
Roman’s brow furrows. “…Say what? You’re not Ron.”
Backfired, bad idea, horrible idea! “No, I-” Virgil clears his throat. “I meant-”
The dementor looms onto the screen, and Roman’s face turns white.
“Uh, relax, Roman, it was just a joke.”
He doesn’t need to know it’s a defensive mechanism, ha ha ha, just laugh please-
Roman stares at Virgil. His eyes are wide in absolute horror. “But that’s not true at all!”
And… wow. He bellows it out with such ferocity that Virgil feels touched.
“It’s fine, Roman. Here.” He nods at the screen. “This means Logan is Lupin, in a way.”
Because isn’t that the truth? he thinks despondently. If not for Logan and that… curve thing, he could never be… managed.
Roman still doesn’t look remotely happy. But, he keeps quiet, brow still furrowed, as if in deep concentration. Eventually, he blessedly breaks the silence by saying, “Perhaps Lupin is a mixture of Logan and Patton.”
“Uh, yeah.” Virgil breathes out, grateful that the subject has been changed. “I can see that. Cute.”
They continue watching, but Roman is still distracted, Virgil can tell. Every so often, he bites his lip.
When they reach the first Divination lesson, Virgil asks, “Hey, um, what house is Trelawney in?” He tries and fails to hide his smirk.
“Hmm.” Roman hums thoughtfully. “Ravenclaw, if memory serves. Why?”
“Oooh. You might need to change Houses.”
Roman gasps, affronted, as Trelawney walks into a table. “I beg your pardon, but I am nothing like her.”
Virgil raises an eyebrow. “Oh, really?”
And then, he tries it out, this whole teasing thing they seem to have going on. It’s new, but it’s not bad new, and Virgil finds it surprisingly easy to imitate Roman’s booming projection of a voice:
“Are you in the beyond?!”
He is stunned that Roman now doesn’t look the least bit offended- he just throws back his head and laughs.
“An accolade worthy performance, Virgil.”
Virgil smiles. “I just watch and learn from the drama queen.”
They slip into silence again. This time it stretches on for so long that Virgil thinks Roman might have fallen asleep. Maybe he should turn off the-
“A-ha!” Roman exclaims and Virgil jumps.
“Woah, woah, what?”
Roman is smiling, fist punching the air in victory. “I finally figured it out! That is, who you are. In… in this movie, certainly.”
Virgil sighs. “Look, I told you, I’m not bothered about the whole Houses thing-”
But Roman cuts him off, and he points at the screen, as Harry screams, “Expecto Patronum!”
“Why, you’re a Patronus, of course, Virgil! I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.”
Virgil blinks, then looks at Roman uncertainly. “I don’t get it.”
“Oh, it’s all in the spell. A lot of them are rooted in Latin words, Logan was telling me. Expecto can mean I wait, and a Patronus is a protector. So Expecto Patronum is like saying, “I wait for a protector.” And, you said it yourself, your goal is to protect. Isn’t it wonderful, Virgil!” Roman claps his hands together. “You’re the Patronus charm!”
Surely he must be mishearing things. It takes Virgil a few attempts until he’s finally able to speak. “You’re… you’re saying that I- that I’m…” Strength? Light? I can drive away darkness? I… protect?
He feels like his throat is closing up. “That’s… Jesus, Roman.” He sniffs. “That’s… probably the- the nicest thing anyone…”
His voice fails again, but he doesn’t care. He shuffles closer next to Roman on the couch, and Roman just smiles at him, briefly half hugging him with one arm. Then, he’s off waxing lyrical about all the different forms a Patronus can take, and how Virgil’s would probably shapeshift because that would be sweet, and what would everyone else’s be…
Virgil lets his words wash over him. Even if it’s ‘just’ fiction, he knows he’d be able to conjure up a strong Patronus. He already knows what his happy memory would be.
“Individual science fiction stories may seem as trivial as ever to the blinder critics and philosophers of today — but the core of science fiction, its essence has become crucial to our salvation, if we are to be saved at all.” — Isaac Asimov