tanner palm

"fingernail moon"

Fingernail moon haven’t

Clipped, haven’t shed, haven’t

Washed these tight pants in years,

———————————

Eclipse remind me again

What the lights taste like

————————

Cynical self destruct pony

Girl swinging, offering

Me smokes, suicidal

Phone call Sammi giving

Me beaded fuck bracelets,

Mom finds it and I don’t

Answer the phone anymore,

Suicidal Sam stops talking all together

——————————-

Oh middle school, you

Knew me all along, you

Knew I was selectively

Attentive, writing lead

Notes on black paper and

Ending it with SLAYER,

Just slayer, FUCKING SLAYER, and

I only knew one song, just liked

The font, thought It

Made me louder,

thought t-shirts made a man

—————————-

Neighbor matt 2 years older,

Neighbor pushing me into a

Group of girls and laughing,

Neighbor telling me how to

Whack it and suddenly I

Was reliougeous for it

————————–

Purple and pink bam margera

Girls,

laughing phone call girls,

We danced, we hugged,

They said my hands should be lower,

They told me I was hugging like a girl,

They were infinitely more and

I stood dancing in the

Purple light like a sloth,

——————————-

Fingernail moon haven’t

Clipped, haven’t shed, haven’t

Washed these tight pants in years,

————————-

Eclipse remind me again

What the lights taste like

———————————————

Keep contact with the kid

Bobbing his head and dance

Like an idiot so he can too…. 

"Watch an old dog…"

Watch

An old dog-lapping rusty puddle

And try not to think about where

Your first car has gone,

——————

Watch

An old dog festering

With blood bloated ticks

Snapping at a fly,

And try not to feel vulnerable

———

Watch

An old dog

Chewing his paw down to the bone,

And tell him to “STOP!”

————-

Watch

His entire impulse,

His entire nature change,

And then

Watch

Him (full of shame)

Lick the wound gently like a cat,

————————–

Watch

Him change immediately

Without second thought,

And try not

To think about what

Love means to you 

Or how she remembers it,

———————–

Watch

An old dog rolling in shit,

——————–

Watch

Him smiling, (Panting)

——————-

Watch

Him madly clawing 

Eyes closed, and waiting

For the sky to drop

His tennis ball sun,

——————–

Watch

Him filthy and warm in

A pile of his own shit,

—————-

Watch

Him completely

Full of bliss, (Leg up to piss)

—————

Watch

Him content in his own filth,

And try not to feel jealous,

——————–

Try

To convince yourself that you

Know a better way to live,

A better understanding,

———————-

Try 

To come up with

A list of reasons on

How you are different

And then crumple it up

Knowing that he knows more by

Knowing just enough,

—————–

Throw

That useless ball of paper for him

To retrieve,

——————-

Watch

Him drop it before your

Feet like a scared jester,

———————

Watch,

Him smiling (Panting)

And feel depressed like a king

————————-

Watch

An old dog, old tricks

Watch you, (Déjà vu)

—————–

Recall

New Mexico when you

Were in kinder garden,

————–

Where

The black lab was

Running away again and father

Wasn’t around to catch him,

———————-

Where

You were crying

In the driveway.

————————

Where

He turned back to see

You crying

—————–

Where

He returned calm with a

Cold nose to make it stop,

———————-

Watch

An old dog,

—————

Like that first dog,

——————

Like that first car,

—————–

Like that first love and

That first love lost,

—————-

Watch

An old dog-lapping rusty puddles,

And try not to think of yourself,