tampons are friends

I was way older than I should have been before I realized I shouldn’t be embarrassed by or try to hide the tampons in my shopping cart. I didn’t want others to be uncomfortable. But no one would consider hiding their deodorant. Their shampoo. Or most other body care items.

I’m a woman and I can’t help this body function any more than anyone can help having a normal body function. I shouldn’t be ashamed by it.

  • Friend: *is reading acotar for the first time*
  • Friend: wait so why don't you like Tamlin?
  • Me: uhhhh *bites lip nervously*
  • Friend: I mean he's just so caring-
  • Me: *twiches*
  • Friend: and loving-
  • Me: *vision turns red*
  • Friend: and passionate-
  • Me: *is about to have a seizure*
  • Friend: and he and Feyre are just so perfect for each other. I don't get why you said I'd like Rhysand better. He seems like such a dic-
  • Friend:
  • Me:
  • Friend:
  • Me: <p><figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-height="430" data-tumblr-attribution="wifflegif:wyZby_JTZS3Uqs20A_8N5Q:Zo5e-r1bmFM27" data-orig-src="https://68.media.tumblr.com/8a52037b2f9388d74d7114a99acb0f6a/tumblr_nioz2uaS2H1st18yzo1_500.gif"><img src="https://68.media.tumblr.com/8a52037b2f9388d74d7114a99acb0f6a/tumblr_inline_on5d9sFfGV1uvxie3_500.gif" data-orig-width="500" data-orig-height="430" data-orig-src="https://68.media.tumblr.com/8a52037b2f9388d74d7114a99acb0f6a/tumblr_nioz2uaS2H1st18yzo1_500.gif"></figure></p>
The Bus

So I’ve been riding the bus with the same people since sixth grade and these are some things that have happened

- We all threw paper balls at each other, someone recorded it and tried to get it made into a tv show called “paper balls, starring the twinkie bus”

- People kept kicking the emergency windows out and hanging half their body out them (one kid fell out)

- This kid was being a complete ass and my bus driver, an 80 year old man, told him to shut the fuck up or he would pull his spine out of his ass and smack him with it

- I threw a tampon at my friend, so then all girls got some out of their bags and threw them at people

- Me and my friend “padded” (put pads e v e r y w h e r e) the bus. You can still find some under seats

- Me and a couple girls brought bright colored lipstick and drew dicks on every window

- We had a nerf gun fight

- The bus driver started playing really dirty rap music and singing with it

That’s about it for now

Male privilege & a basket of tampons

Years ago, a friend went to a party, and something bothered him enough to rant to me about it later. And it bothered me that he was so incensed about it, but I couldn’t put my finger on why. It seemed so petty for him to be upset, and even more so for me to be annoyed with him.

Recently, something reminded me of that scenario, and it made more sense. I’ll explain.

The party was a house party. One of those parties people throw if they’re renting a good-sized house in college. You know the type—loud music, Solo cups of beer, and somebody doing something drunk and stupid before the end of the night.

At some point, my friend had occasion to use the bathroom. When he went into the bathroom, he was disgusted to see that the hostess had left a basket of feminine hygiene products on the counter for guests to use if needed.

Later, when my friend told me about it, he wrinkled his nose and said, “Why would she do that? Guys don’t want to see that!”

When I suggested that she was just making them available in case a woman needed them, he insisted that they could be left in the cabinet or under the counter. Out of sight, anyway.

I wish I’d had, at the time, the ability to articulate what I can now.

To me, this situation is, while relatively benign, a perfect example of male privilege.

A man walks into the bathroom and sees a reminder that women have periods. And he’s disgusted. He wants that evidence hidden away because it offends his senses. How dare the hostess so blatantly present tampons and pads where a man might see them? There’s no reason for that!

A woman walks into the bathroom and sees that the hostess is being extra considerate. She gets it. She knows what it’s like to have a period start unexpectedly. The feeling of horror because she’s probably wearing something she doesn’t want ruined—it is a party after all. The sick embarrassment because someone might notice, especially if she’s wearing light-colored clothes, or worse, sat on the hostess’s white couch. The self-conscious, semi-nauseated feeling of trying to get through a social event after you’ve exhausted every avenue to get your hands on an emergency pad or tampon, and you’re just hoping to God that if you tie your jacket around your waist—you brought one, right?—keep your back to a wall, clench your buttcheeks, squeeze your thighs tightly together, and don’t…move…at…all—you might get through the evening, bow out gracefully, and find an all-night convenience store with a public restroom.

Or maybe she came to the party during her period, but didn’t bargain for her flow to suddenly get that heavy. Or she desperately needs a tampon, but her purse is in a room where a couple is not to be disturbed. Maybe she doesn’t know the hostess well enough to ask if she can use one. Or she doesn’t know anyone at the party well enough to ask. Or she figures she can make do with some wadded up toilet paper or something.

Whatever the case, she walks into the bathroom, and she hears the hostess saying “Hey, I know what it’s like, and just in case, I’ve got your back.”  She sees someone saving her from what could be a minor annoyance or a major embarrassment.

The hostess gets it. The woman who just walked into the bathroom? She’s either going to see that the person throwing the party is super considerate, or she’s going to be whispering thanks to Jesus, Krishna, and whoever else is listening because that is a basket full of social saviors.

But to the guy who wrinkled his nose, it’s still offensive that those terrible little things are on the counter, reminding his delicate sensibilities that the playground part of a woman is occasionally unavailable due to a gross bodily function that he should never have to think about.

In the grand scheme of things, it’s a tiny thing. It’s a tiny annoyance for the man, and a more significant but relatively tiny courtesy for the woman. After all these years, my friend has probably forgotten, but I never have.  As a woman whose life is partially governed by a fickle uterus that can ruin an evening faster than a submerged iPhone, his story has stuck with me.

How can you be so offended by a small gesture that has zero effect on you, but could make such an enormous difference to the person who needs it?

It occurs to me now that this is a small but effective illustration of how men and women see the world. It’s part of the same thought process that measures a woman’s value through her bra size and her willingness to have sex with him—that everything about us is displayed or hidden based on how men perceive them or what he wants to get from us. Unattractive women should be as covered as possible, while attractive ones shouldn’t be hiding their assets from male eyes (or hands, or anything else he wishes to use).

A woman who isn’t smiling is an affront to him because it detracts from her prettiness, despite the fact that there might be a legitimate reason for her not to smile (or more to the point, that there isn’t a legitimate reason for her to smile). Her emotional state is irrelevant because she’s not being pretty. It’s the line of thinking where a man blames anything other than cheerful sexual consent on the woman being a bitch, being a lesbian, or—naturally—being on her period. Everything we do, from our facial expressions to our use of hygiene products, are filtered through the lens of “how it looks to a man.”

It’s the line of thinking where a small gesture from one woman to another, an assurance that someone else understands and will help her without question or judgment, a gesture which could save a woman’s evening from being ruined, is trumped by a man’s desire to see an untainted landscape of pretty, smiling women with visible cleavage and vaginas that never bleed.

And people wonder why we still need feminism.

“Babe, I got good news!” - Cameron Dallas imagine

“ Can you do an imagine were Y/N is pregnant with Cameron’s baby and it turns into this huge mess. You can choose the ending…hope this helps with writers block 😘☺ “ requested by @manydaddies

“Stop staring at that thing. You’ll drive yourself crazy.” Your best friend says as she tears the pregnancy test out of your hand.

She was right, well kind of, because you were driving yourself crazy with the pregnancy test in your hands and without it. 
“What.. I mean.. How.. Cameron..” you had so many thoughts floating around in your head but you struggled to put them into words.

“Hey.” Your best friend said comforting as she wrapped her arms around you.
“Don’t worry about Cameron..” she pauses and then continuous “He loves you. And he’ll love the baby. You know that!” 

You listened but didn’t say anything. 
Instead, you buried your face deeper into her comforting arms.

The timer on your phone goes off and your heart sinks into your stomach. Fuck!
You take a really really deep breath. “Are you ready?” Your best friend asks with an excited undertone.

As ready as I’ll ever be..

You take another deep breath and grab the  test from your best friends hands. 
“Two lines..” you say monotone. 
“OH MY GOD! TWO LINES!” you scream as soon as you realized that you are pregnant. To your surprise it was a pretty enthusiastic scream.

You hug your best friend as you start to tear up. 
“Congratulations?” She looks at you confused. “Are we happy about this or still scared?” she looked at you as she furrows her brows. 

Well, that actually was a good question since you almost cried just a couple of minutes ago.
“I.. I am happy.” You smile unknowingly as you look at the pregnancy test.
Your best friend pulls you in for another tight, and this time, congratulating hug.

“Hey, girls. What are we so happy about?” Cameron walks in.
You instinctively hide the pregnancy test behind your back within a split second.

Cameron walks over to kiss you.
“What do you got there?” he asks with a confused smirk as he points behind your back. 

You feel your face turning a dark shade of red, knowing that you are horrible at lying. Fuck, he’ll find out the worst way possible.

“A tampon.” Your best friend says with a fake embarrassed smile as she grabs the test with both hands, hoping Cam wouldn’t look at it.
His smirk turns in to a disgusted confused smile. Typical.
“Well, that’s my queue to leave.” he shakes his head with the same weird smile.

As soon as Cameron left the bathroom your best friend says “Fuck. That was a close call.” 
She get’s up to hug you and continues to say “I’m gonna leave the two of you alone. This one definitely is a one-to-one talk” 
She kisses your cheek, puts the test on the counter and exits the bathroom.
“Bye, Cameron” You hear her a little further away right before you hear the door close.

You stay in the bathroom a little longer, making up the hole conversation you’re about to have with Cameron.
This is so stupid. Conversations never go as planned, especially these kinds of conversations.
“Babe, I got something to tell you”  you walk into the living room where Cameron sits as he goes through his emails.

“Huh?” he ask, still distracted from his phone even though you’ve already sat down.
You place your hand in front of his phone screen.
“Y/N, this is important.” he reacts annoyed 
“Cameron, what I’m about to tell you probably is more important.” you roll your eyes but he doesn’t even notice.

“Ok,ok. What is it?” Cameron asks as he lays his phone into his lap.
“I.. Have absolutely no idea how to say this.” You pause for a smile.
“Just tell me, babe.” he giggles confused.
You pull out the pregnancy test without any explanation.

“What the fuck, Y/N?” his face went blank.
You had no idea if he was just shocked or actually angry.
One thing was for sure.. He was not happy.

His negative mood was contagious.

“Please tell me this is a prank.” he laughs insecure.
“What do you mean?” you shake your head. 
“I.. We..” he stops and thinks about what he’s going to say.
“Y/N. We are way too you. We aren’t married. I’m at the height of my career. I.. We can’t do this.” he get’s up from the sofa and steps back.

You laugh sarcastically. “What are you trying to say?” you pout your lips and furrow your eyebrows.

“Fuck.” he whispers as he sits down again. 
“We got this. We’ll get married and raise the baby. We got this.” he tries to convince himself but he was just making you even more insecure. 
“Get married? Is that all you think about? You don’t want to raise a bastard?” You say angry. “You’re not the slightest bit excited?” you ask blankly.

“I’m just trying to do the right thing here, Y/N” he replies serious.

You get up and grab your keys.
“The right thing would be to be loving and accepting instead of being a fucking asshole.” one single tear falls off of your cheek.

Cameron jumps up and gently grabs you by your arm.
“Don’t leave, baby” his town softened. 
“This is a first for me.” a smug smile formed on his face. “I don’t know how to deal with this.”

Cam pulls you closer and looks into your eyes.”I love you and I will love the baby. I’ll be there every step of the way.” 
He pauses for a second and then goes on “We’re in this together, right?.” he holds out his pinky  and waits for you to do the same.
“We’re in this together.” you smile as you intertwine your pinky with his.  

Just watched a tampax advert where an apparently menstruating woman is running around in a bikini and swinging off a rope swing into a lake.

Nope. Fucking nope. When I’m bleeding out of my vagina I do not wanna be in a tiny bikini. I do not want to be in the great outdoors. I do not want to be swinging off a rope swing into a lake.

I want to be at home with a hot water bottle, large amounts of wine and painkillers, safely in the knowledge that I ain’t gonna flash my tampon string at my friends or bleed on their heads as I sail through the air over them.

thank you to my friend Chiara for this one.

Me: Tamlin is a garden hoe that needs to be thrown away.

*crosses our garden*

Direct translation: Tamlin is a hoe and can go away.

@dawn-courts-darling @tog-trash @foxboy-lucien

I’ll never forget the time my little brother had a friend over and I was in the bathroom taking a shower and I realized I forgot to get a tampon out of the box in my room and so I opened the door and called my little brother and said “Can you do me a favor?” And he said “You need me to bring you a tampon?” And his friend was just kind of like “Gross dude.” And he just kinda stood there dumbfounded for a second and was like “??? My sister gets her period. It happens. I don’t think it’s gross.” And I cried in joy because I’ve taught him right and I think about it a lot.

Tamlin the Tampon

I finally got a friend to read A Court of Mist and Fury, So I texted her to chat about it as all fangirls would do. The convo took a very interesting and unexpected turn:



officialhannahdahuman  asked:

Thank you for your advice on the replacing "im sorry" with "thank you" it really makes sense and I will start using it soon!!! :) btw- I have a question too if you don't mind answering: my best friend's younger sibling has come out (at least to us) as trans. I want to support them even though their parents aren't and as a trans person, what would you suggest that I do that I wouldn't have even thought of because I'm cisgender. Thank you!!!!!!! ^u^

great question! i’m encouraging any trans people who might read this to reblog with their own thoughts on how to be a good ally & how to support your trans friends. here’s a couple ideas off the top of my head:

  • educate yourself. here’s a list of frequently asked questions about transgender individuals. knowing how to talk to and educate others about trans identities can be really helpful, since it can get exhausting as a trans person to have to constantly defend your own identity and educate others about trans rights & trans issues
  • go to the bathroom with your trans friend. even if your friend identifies as a binary gender (male or female) and passes as that gender, it can still be nerve-wracking and anxiety-producing walking alone into a bathroom full of cis people. 
  • offer moral support and accompany your friends. if your trans friends are in the process of updating their gender marker on documentation or going through a legal name change, that process can be overwhelming and stressful. making phone calls to get information or accompanying your friend to the passport agency/name change location, etc, can be really helpful.
  • buy pads and tampons for them! if your friend has a monthly cycle, there’s a good chance they’ll need products like pads and tampons, and for lots of trans people, the thought of going to the store and having to purchase those products on their own can be terrifying and humiliating. pick up pads and tampons for your trans friends, and keeping some on you is a good idea in general. additionally, a diva cup can be purchased for around $30 and is an investment that will last several years, eliminating the need to make trips to the store for pads and tampons. 
  • pick up prescriptions for them. often at the pharmacy, when a prescription is ready the pharmacist will call out the name to everyone waiting. for trans people, hearing their birth name can cause stress/anxiety/dysphoria, and hearing their birth name announced to a room full of strangers can be even worse. have your friends refill their prescriptions online and you can be the one to go pick it up for them - all you’ll need to know is their date of birth.
  • correct anyone who misgenders your friends. NOTE: only do this if your friends are openly out as trans, otherwise you risk outing them to people who may not know about their gender identity yet. if your friend is out as trans and someone uses the wrong name or pronoun, gently remind or inform them of your friend’s correct name/pronouns, and be ready to educate them on trans identities if necessary. 
  • don’t out anybody or share their personal information with others. just because someone confides in you about their identity, or anything related to their transition doesn’t give you the right to share those details with other people, or to go around telling people that your friend is transitioning/getting surgery/changing their name, whatever the case may be. ask “is it alright if i share this information with so-and-so or would you rather this stay between us?” be respectful.
  • know your terms & be aware of the language you use. a lot of trans people are uncomfortable with certain body parts or certain adjectives used to describe those body parts. as an example, it’s not ok to refer to a trans man’s chest as “boobs” – that’s his chest. as another example, it is better to say that someone was “assigned [male/female] at birth” rather than “born a boy/born a girl”, etc. talk to your trans friends and ask what they’re comfortable with. if you don’t have trans friends you can talk to directly and you have questions about certain words or phrases, feel free to shoot me a message!
  • realize that being trans can be scary. just because you see a news headline about a trans person getting assaulted or murdered/harassed/denied medical coverage, whatever the case may be, does NOT mean you have to share that with your trans friends. we already know how high the murder and violence and suicide rates are. think carefully about the subjects you bring up and the things you share with your trans friends, as chances are most of us are already dealing with way too much negativity. every bit of positivity and reassurance helps :)
  • be available for support, but don’t pry. transitioning, identity, dysphoria, pronouns, bathrooms, surgeries, coming out, etc, is a lot to deal with, and a lot of the time it can feel like a big stressful mess of thoughts up in our minds. don’t press your trans friends for details or try to pry into their minds just to satisfy your own curiosity. make it clear that you are available to listen and to help in any way you can, but let that be on their terms, not yours.
  • don’t say things like “gender doesn’t matter to me”. it may seem like the most political thing to say that you don’t “see” gender, and that whichever way a trans* person identifies in gender terms doesn’t matter to you. but this isn’t helpful. gender roles are socially constructed, and to live in society means to be exposed to ideas and regulations of gender identity/expression, etc. gender is very much coded into the world that we live in, and in that sense it matters a lot. your friends’ experiences of their own gender is highly personal, and to say that gender is irrelevant to you invalidates the ongoing experiences and difficulties that your trans friends face while grappling with their own concepts of gender. 

thanks for being an ally & thanks for the awesome question <3