tampon eating

look what i did in the shower

hey there vagina

why do you fucking hate me

i know that I’m not pregnant

so don’t bring your wrath upon me please

i feel ill

ill get a hysterectomy or the pill

i swear i will


hey there vagina

the red river has been flowing

for like four fucking days now

and it’s getting old i am growing

sick of this 

if i have one more cramp I’m gonna piss

on all your shit

Keep reading

40 ᴛʜɪɴɢs ᴏᴠᴇʀʜᴇᴀʀᴅ ɪɴ ᴅᴀᴅᴅʏ’s ᴅᴜɴɢᴇᴏɴ
(ɢʀᴇʏ’s ᴅɪsᴄᴏʀᴅ ʏᴀ  ғɪʟᴛʜʏ ᴀɴɪᴍᴀʟs) sᴇɴᴛᴇɴᴄᴇ sᴛᴀʀᴛᴇʀ ᴍᴇᴍᴇ 

  • ‘delete your blof’
  • ‘wtf did you buy it from heaven?’
  • ‘at least i’m not a duplicitous bitch’
  • ‘i ripped my anus once’
  • ‘did you put your head up your ass too far?’
  • ‘i wanna feel the ink’
  • ‘no one should eat any tampons’
  • ‘i want a baby but then i remember i can’t give it back’
  • ‘my sugar mommy is melania trump’
  • ‘rhode island is the bitch ass dot.’
  • ‘cows are great’
  • ‘her clinging shitchute’
  • ‘it’s symptomatic of being a chronic bitch’
  • ‘privileged bitch with a touch of low EQ’
  • ‘that and they grip my balls and make me cough’
  • ‘it’s like eight inches maybe’
  • ‘I love how we casually slipped from sex trafficking, rape and capital punishment to fucking drunk karaoke’
  • ‘my body can’t handle a lot of meat’
  • ‘guys i’m republican as of today’
  • ‘I think he’s a good looking fellow, but i’m not into that’
  • ‘I can’t have chocolate milk my bowels would probably fall our of my asshole’
  • ‘well what am i suppose to do?’
  • ‘adam wipes his faced with ball juice’
  • ‘I’m not hip with the kids’
  • ‘I slept with my RA in freshman year, WHOOPS’
  • ‘just like your RA exploded in you?’
  • ‘It was the cutest urine i ever witnessed’
  • ‘too bad i can’t play myself’ 
  • ‘then i dont know the world threw estrogen at me or something’
  • ‘I’M HONESTLY YODELING’
  • ‘i’ll snort lube off a hookers ass’
  • ‘got out and moved to atlanta’
  • ‘it’s fucking pink you ignorant fashion slave’
  • ‘and amelia who the fuck even is amelia anymore?’
  • ‘daddy, daddy on the floor’
  • ‘an infant appears’
  • ‘just get a burrito you weak bitches’
  • ‘TEIGGWRED’
  • ‘welcome to retail. it sucks. you’ll learn to become an evil queen’
  • ‘sleeping in your bathroom it totes ok right?’

anonymous asked:

(period mention) tip for trans-masc peeps and trans dudes!-- if you're looking for a cheap way to discreetly carry tampons around, just eat a bunch of Altoids and save the tin! You can comfortably fit 3-4 compact style tampons and a few liners in them, and if anyone sees them, they'll just think you're a dude who likes mints! (and if they ask for any just say you just ran out and want to save the box)

!!

Hi guys, I hit 500 followers very recently, and I have always seen people doing Follow Forevers, and I really wanted to do one!

After two very successful text posts - one reaching 8,000 notes and the other 13,500 notes - I wanted, to show how much i appreciate you all.

So here is a list of people I want to include, in alphabetical order:

Baes:

gigglyphan, lesbianearthquake, lickinrusty, neutralsnow, phangirlingforphan, porcelain-petal and probslikesyd

Mutuals:

attack-on-howlter, danhomowell, dankink, dans-tampon, eating-in-space, fairylightslester, fxckzouis, happylittledil, i-am-the-minority-ray, iconic-phil, jeanxhobbs, lesbilester, lukeishotsexy, mermaidphan, my-chemical-lana, myhappylittlelion, ohshitdanisonfire, peejslover, phandelions and phanfictions

People I follow and love:

5foot4withtheskinnyjeans, anobrainy, bisexualbombshell, checkyesjulietcountmein, dil-howlters-gay-dads, hellyeah-tonightalive, howellester, innuendohowell, legendarysouls, lighthowell, mogarsjones, mrdiddles, officialbmvagabond, perks-of-being-chinese, philipllester, renegade-is-in-my-blood, taylorswift, thatswiftblog, typical-healy, youre-the-dan-to-my-phil and yourenosaint

hemlock grove — sentence starters. part 1

  • ❛ Well, people meat is more like bacon. ❜ 
  • ❛ Get that skinny, sorry drumstick out of my face. ❜
  • ❛ You believe everything people say? ❜
  • ❛ Well, you sound like the world’s dumbest owl. ❜
  • ❛ Today I have seen the dragon. ❜
  • ❛ Eat a tampon, you uncouth mongoloid. ❜
  • ❛ I’ve always wanted to be a warrior. ❜
  • ❛ I see these… shadows that I don’t always know if they’re real or not. ❜
  • ❛ Gosh, you sure have pretty lips. ❜
  • ❛ My luck is shit, not my head. ❜  
  • ❛ Do I got a dick in my mouth? I ain’t fucking crazy. ❜
  • ❛ Do you know what it’s like? The taste of fear? ❜
  • ❛ At least you didn’t end up with your brains gussying up the wainscoting. ❜
  • ❛ Have you been drinking? ❜
  • ❛ Is there like a summer camp for serial killers? ❜
  • ❛ Do you want my help or not? ❜
  • ❛ You don’t want anyone asking questions. ❜
  • ❛ What do you do when you get horny? ❜  
  • ❛ I think my manipura needs some nourishment. ❜  
  • ❛ You just look like you need someone to talk to. ❜
  • ❛ Jesus, you need to get laid. ❜
  • ❛ Gee, I wish I was cool enough to know magic tricks. ❜
  • ❛ Would you like to know a secret? ❜
  • ❛ Are your feet ticklish? ❜
  • ❛ Someday when I’m drunk enough I’ll tell you about it. ❜
  • ❛ What is it with you and crazy girls? ❜
  • ❛ Your token display of resistance fools no one. ❜
  • ❛ If I wanted to hear about your whoredom I’d pay more attention in the girls’ bathroom. ❜
  • ❛ How very goddamn mysterious. ❜
  • ❛ Do you have antifreeze in your veins? ❜
  • ❛ I’ll never understand what a person can do with so many darned shoes. ❜
  • ❛ How do you know who I am? ❜
  • ❛ Look at the sour apple pretending he’s not happy to see us. ❜
  • ❛ Objections if I smoke? ❜
  • ❛ If I knew more than you did, I’d tell you. ❜
  • ❛ What exactly is it you’re looking for? ❜ 
A LOOK BACK ON TUMBLR IN 2013

- girl eats tampon
- do you love the color of the sky?
- comic sans valentines
- before you say im stoling this let me explain u a thing
- cut 4 bieber
- fluffy chicken
- swimming anime
- bee movie
- patrick starfish’s face
- infinite chocolate bar logic
- april 1st: mishapocalipse
- moon moon the wolf
- swaggitty swag whats in the bag
- ding dong what is wrong
- the villager
- new challenger approaching!
- when ur mom com hoem and make hte spagheti
- flower crowns
- Sharknado
- Misha Collins gives out his phone number
- Attack on Titan
- Welcome to Night Vale
- would you press the button
- ayyy lmao
- when u get to sit next to ur friend in class
- the D
- moreos
- doge
- Lunchbag Rodriguez
- Jaden Smith’s tweets
- conspiring circles bunnies and ladybugs
- eyebrow game strong
- blood orange
- hello _____, im dad
- surprise bitch, I bet you thought you’d seen the last of me
- please don’t fuck the _____

and finally 

- Best of 2013 selfie masterposts 

youtube

First Giovanna plowman sucks her tampon, now some guy eats his shit. I am done with this planet- just watch the video

anonymous asked:

my family is strictly vegetarian and I've never eaten meat until a month ago at my friend's party I ate chicken lollipop and holy fuck it's the best thing I've ever tasted so now whenever I'm 'on my period' I buy chicken lollipops and put them in a tampon box and eat them in the bathroom. NOBODY SUSPECTS A THING HAHAHHAHA MOTHERF*CKERS.

this is wild

On your Period - Preference

Luke: 

“You cut me open and I,

Keep bleeding, I keep, keep bleeding in love!”

Luke closed the door with his food, bag of your ‘needs’ in hand as he winced at your loud singing.Turning into the living room, Luke wasn’t surprised to see you sitting on the couch with Bleeding Love playing loudly, you singing along of course, and 27 dresses on the TV screen.

“I couldn’t of been gone for more then 40 minutes.” Luke laughed, mostly to himself as he shook his head.

“Please tell me you got chocolate.” You gasped, pausing the TV and turning down the music.

“Hershey’s almonds.” Luke confirmed, bringing the extra large chocolate bar out of the bag as he did his signature lip bite.

“Oh my god, I love you.”

Ashton:

“If you touch the remote you lose that hand." 

You growled, grabbing the remote and hugging it to your chest as your favourite romcoms played on the TV.

Ashton snatched his hand back, holding it to his chest before saying, "Jeez, I thought you were going to bite it off.”

As Ashton rolled his eyes and began to walk away, guilt started to rise in your chest. “Ashton, babe, im sorry. Just please cuddle with me.” You sighed, raising you arms out from under your thick blanket.

One look your way and Ashton knew he would be cuddling with you for the rest of the night.

Despite Ash rather watching anything else, you both ended up cuddling on the couch with you asleep in his arms as Ashton’s eyes were glued to the screen.

Calum:

The thing you hated most about being on your period was Calum.

What? No, of course he is a loving boyfriend and takes care of you the entire time. Wrong. His mindset was more, I could play pranks on her and record them because she’ll be extra mad.

“Calum I swear to fucking god!” You cursed as you woke up with a face of pink silly string.

“I tried to find red to be ironic but there was none.” Calum laughed holding up his phone while keeking before running away.

After getting yourself a mug of hot chocolate, you were about to take a drink before your phone rang. Little did you know, as you went to open it, Calum was crushing laxatives into your mug. Little did he know he wasn’t getting sex for next two weeks.

The one you liked the best was when he covered the entire floor of your bedroom with half filled glasses of water while you were asleep.

“Y'know im just going to stay in bed all day and if I stay in bed all day our white bed will be red.”

With a victorious smile, you got to watch Calum clean up (and spill) every cup.

Michael:

For the past couple days you’ve been begging Michael to do a chocolate shopping spree for you, finally after being able to convince him, you were ecstatic when you heard the apartment door open.

“Gimmie, gimmie, gimmie!” You cheered, your eyes lighting up like a child’s on Christmas.

You didn’t notice his guilty expression until you opened the shopping bag to see empty wrappers.

“You didn’t…” You gasped, looking up to Michael before clenching your jaw shut.

“I may have eaten everything in the car.” Michael winced, knowing what was coming. 

“Michael!” You wined in defeat, collapsing to the couch as you held your cramping abdomen.

“Hey, I got you pills that will help with the cramps.” Michael pointed out in an attempt to defend himself. “At least I didn’t eat the tampons.”

Michael was smart enough to duck before the box of tampons hit his head.

This was fun to write. You can request ideas at our ask box.

-Abby