talking-monkeys

People have been asking to see more Fairytales, so for a Halloween surprise…!! 

Little Rafael Lightwood-Bane as Momotarō!

(if you are unfamiliar with Momotarō, It is a Japanese fairytale. Long story short:  A couple finds a baby inside of a peach and adopts him- later, he heads off to defeat demons with the help of a talking dog, monkey and pheasant. Read it, it’s great. And we thought it was perfect for lil adopted Rafael.)  


>Little Red Riding Hood

>Beauty and the Beast

Underrated animes I think the signs would love

I love every one of these animes tbh


Aries: Kekkai Sensen - 12 Episodes (2nd season of same length coming out Oct 2017)

Supersonic monkeys, vampires, talking fishmen, and all sorts of different supernatural monsters living alongside humans—this has been part of daily life in Hellsalem’s Lot, formerly known as New York City, for some time now. When a gateway between Earth and the Beyond opened three years ago, New Yorkers and creatures from the other dimension alike were trapped in an impenetrable bubble and were forced to live together. Libra is a secret organization composed of eccentrics and superhumans, tasked with keeping order in the city and making sure that chaos doesn’t spread to the rest of the world.

Pursuing photography as a hobby, Leonardo Watch is living a normal life with his parents and sister. But when he obtains the “All-seeing Eyes of the Gods” at the expense of his sister’s eyesight, he goes to Hellsalem’s Lot in order to help her by finding answers about the mysterious powers he received. He soon runs into Libra, and when Leo unexpectedly joins their ranks, he gets more than what he bargained for. Kekkai Sensen follows Leo’s misadventures in the strangest place on Earth with his equally strange comrades—as the ordinary boy unwittingly sees his life take a turn for the extraordinary.

Originally posted by pinkishrabbit


Taurus: Mushishi - 46 Episodes (2 seasons)

“Mushi”: the most basic forms of life in the world. They exist without any goals or purposes aside from simply “being.” They are beyond the shackles of the words “good” and “evil.” Mushi can exist in countless forms and are capable of mimicking things from the natural world such as plants, diseases, and even phenomena like rainbows.

This is, however, just a vague definition of these entities that inhabit the vibrant world of Mushishi, as to even call them a form of life would be an oversimplification. Detailed information on Mushi is scarce because the majority of humans are unaware of their existence.

So what are Mushi and why do they exist? This is the question that a “Mushishi,” Ginko, ponders constantly. Mushishi are those who research Mushi in hopes of understanding their place in the world’s hierarchy of life.

Ginko chases rumors of occurrences that could be tied to Mushi, all for the sake of finding an answer.

It could, after all, lead to the meaning of life itself.

Originally posted by macross


Gemini: Psychic Detective Yakumo - 11 Episodes

Haruka Ozawa’s sophomore year is getting seriously scary. One of her friends is possessed, another has committed suicide and Haruka could be the next one to flunk the still-breathing test. Her only way out of this potentially lethal dead end? Yakumo Saito, an enigmatic student born with a mysterious red eye that allows him to see and communicate with the dead. But the deceased don’t always desist and some killers are more than ready to kill again to keep dead men from telling any more tales. That doesn’t stop Haruka’s knack for digging up buried secrets, and there’s even more evidence of bodies being exhumed by both Yakumo’s police contact and an investigative journalist with a newly made corpse in her closet! Can this pair of anything but normal paranormal detectives solve the ultimate dead case files or will they end up in cold storage themselves? 

Originally posted by fl-uttershy


Cancer: Is this a Zombie? - 22 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)

Not every zombie is the monstrous, brain-eating type.

One night while walking home from the convenience store, regular high school boy Ayumu Aikawa is killed by a serial killer, and is just as suddenly brought back to life by a necromancer named Eucliwood Hellscythe. One small caveat: he’s now a zombie. Things get even weirder for him when he accidentally steals a magical girl’s uniform, and thus her powers! Haruna, the ex-magical girl, orders him to fight evil creatures known as Megalo in her place until they can figure out a way to get her powers back to her.

Originally posted by koritsu-shita-mura


Leo: Parasyte - 24 Episodes

All of a sudden, they arrived: parasitic aliens that descended upon Earth and quickly infiltrated humanity by burrowing into the brains of vulnerable targets. These insatiable beings acquire full control of their host and are able to morph into a variety of forms in order to feed on unsuspecting prey.

Sixteen-year-old high school student Shinichi Izumi falls victim to one of these parasites, but it fails to take over his brain, ending up in his right hand instead. Unable to relocate, the parasite, now named Migi, has no choice but to rely on Shinichi in order to stay alive. Thus, the pair is forced into an uneasy coexistence and must defend themselves from hostile parasites that hope to eradicate this new threat to their species.

Originally posted by 97mika


Virgo: Terror in Resonance - 11 Episodes

Painted in red, the word “VON” is all that is left behind after a terrorist attack on a nuclear facility in Japan. The government is shattered by their inability to act, and the police are left frantically searching for ways to crack down the perpetrators. The public are clueless—until, six months later, a strange video makes its way onto the internet. In it, two teenage boys who identify themselves only as “Sphinx” directly challenge the police, threatening to cause destruction and mayhem across Tokyo. Unable to stop the mass panic quickly spreading through the city and desperate for any leads in their investigation, the police struggle to act effectively against these terrorists, with Detective Kenjirou Shibazaki caught in the middle of it all.

Zankyou no Terror tells the story of Nine and Twelve, the two boys behind the masked figures of Sphinx. They should not exist, yet they stand strong in a world of deception and secrets while they make the city fall around them, all in the hopes of burying their own tragic truth.

Originally posted by nekoksyo


Libra: No Game No Life - 12 Episodes

No Game No Life is a surreal comedy that follows Sora and Shiro, shut-in NEET siblings and the online gamer duo behind the legendary username “Kuuhaku.” They view the real world as just another lousy game; however, a strange e-mail challenging them to a chess match changes everything—the brother and sister are plunged into an otherworldly realm where they meet Tet, the God of Games.

The mysterious god welcomes Sora and Shiro to Disboard, a world where all forms of conflict—from petty squabbles to the fate of whole countries—are settled not through war, but by way of high-stake games. This system works thanks to a fundamental rule wherein each party must wager something they deem to be of equal value to the other party’s wager. In this strange land where the very idea of humanity is reduced to child’s play, the indifferent genius gamer duo of Sora and Shiro have finally found a real reason to keep playing games: to unite the sixteen races of Disboard, defeat Tet, and become the gods of this new, gaming-is-everything world.

Originally posted by medusalily


Scorpio: Rurouni Kenshin - 95 Episodes 

In the final years of the Bakumatsu era lived a legendary assassin known as Hitokiri Battousai. Feared as a merciless killer, he was unmatched throughout the country, but mysteriously disappeared at the peak of the Japanese Revolution. It has been ten peaceful years since then, but the very mention of Battousai still strikes terror into the hearts of war veterans.

Unbeknownst to them, Battousai has abandoned his bloodstained lifestyle in an effort to repent for his sins, now living as Kenshin Himura, a wandering swordsman with a cheerful attitude and a strong will. Vowing never to kill again, Kenshin dedicates himself to protecting the weak. One day, he stumbles across Kaoru Kamiya at her kendo dojo, which is being threatened by an impostor claiming to be Battousai. After receiving help from Kenshin, Kaoru allows him to stay at the dojo, and so the former assassin temporarily ceases his travels.

Rurouni Kenshin: Meiji Kenkaku Romantan tells the story of Kenshin as he strives to save those in need of saving. However, as enemies from both past and present begin to emerge, will the reformed killer be able to uphold his new ideals?

Originally posted by nenecchi

+ 3 of the most badass live action movie adaptations

Originally posted by takeruandcaterpillars


Sagittarius: Nurarihyon no Mago - 48 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)

Rikuo Nura doesn’t want anything to do with evil youkai, and just wants a normal life. Too bad he’s a quarter youkai, and Nurarihyon, his grandfather, is insistent that he takes over as head of the Nura Clan. He’s able to keep his supernatural secret life hidden from his classmates, as he can only transform into a youkai at night, for six hours at a time.

Unfortunately for him, various youkai factions are out to target both his youkai and human friends, and like it or not, he needs to embrace his youkai side. Life is not easy when you’re Nurarihyon’s grandson

Originally posted by bambina97


Capricorn: Hamatora - 24 Total Episodes (2 Seasons)

The ability to create miracles is not just a supernatural phenomenon; it is a gift which manifests in a limited number of human beings. “Minimum,” or small miracles, are special powers that only selected people called “Minimum Holders” possess. The detective agency Yokohama Troubleshooting, or Hamatora for short, is composed of the “Minimum Holder PI Duo,” Nice and Murasaki. Their office is a lone table at Cafe Nowhere, where the pair and their coworkers await new clients.

Suddenly, the jobs that they begin to receive seem to have strange connections to the serial killer whom their friend Art, a police officer, is searching for. The murder victims share a single similarity: they are all Minimum Holders. Nice and Murasaki, as holders themselves, are drawn to the case—but what exactly is the link between Nice and the one who orchestrates it all?

Originally posted by hentaikohai


Aquarius: Trigun - 26 Episodes

Vash the Stampede is the man with a $$60,000,000,000 bounty on his head. The reason: he’s a merciless villain who lays waste to all those that oppose him and flattens entire cities for fun, garnering him the title “The Humanoid Typhoon.” He leaves a trail of death and destruction wherever he goes, and anyone can count themselves dead if they so much as make eye contact—or so the rumors say. In actuality, Vash is a huge softie who claims to have never taken a life and avoids violence at all costs.

With his crazy doughnut obsession and buffoonish attitude in tow, Vash traverses the wasteland of the planet Gunsmoke, all the while followed by two insurance agents, Meryl Stryfe and Milly Thompson, who attempt to minimize his impact on the public. But soon, their misadventures evolve into life-or-death situations as a group of legendary assassins are summoned to bring about suffering to the trio. Vash’s agonizing past will be unraveled and his morality and principles pushed to the breaking point.

Originally posted by heavycrumplt


Pisces: Gangsta. - 12 Episodes

Nicholas Brown and Worick Arcangelo, known in the city of Ergastalum as the “Handymen,” are mercenaries for hire who take on jobs no one else can handle. Contracted by powerful mob syndicates and police alike, the Handymen have to be ready and willing for anything. After completing the order of killing a local pimp, the Handymen add Alex Benedetto—a prostitute also designated for elimination—to their ranks to protect her from forces that want her gone from the decrepit hellhole of a city she has come to call home. However, this criminal’s paradise is undergoing a profound period of change that threatens to corrode the delicate balance of power.

Ergastalum was once a safe haven for “Twilights,” super-human beings born as the result of a special drug but are now being hunted down by a fierce underground organization. This new threat is rising up to challenge everything the city stands for, and the Handymen will not be able to avoid this coming war.

Originally posted by chunli

Lore is MALLEABLE. Have you seen this game? we got motorcycles, space goats, a moon god that fucked a stag, talking pandas, coffee shops, zombie apocalypses, capitalist goblins, a dragon toddler made out of three dead baby dragons and a titanic relic, TIME TRAVEL, a king split into two separate versions of himself then fused back together, elune fucked a deer, an orc went back 10k years in time and wounded sargeras, selfie cameras, SPACE TRAVEL, auction house raves, vogue runway transmog shows, a giant floating city, and ELUNE HAD A CHILD WITH MALORNE, A STAG

there aren’t rules. rules are broken every day in this game. there are talking monkeys. murlocs. arguing why something can’t work in this universe is like sticking your head in a toaster. your head doesn’t fit, you think it will, but you’re burning yourself you idiot. stop it.

  • Generator Rex: Guitar riffs, silly jokes, a talking monkey, an episode about ping pong
  • Also, Generator Rex: Contemplation on what is or isn't justified in war, reminders that the common soldier is a human being and is not expendable, examination of the inadequacy of the "man vs. machine" dichotomy as a way of viewing technological progress, questions about what makes us human
Better Babysitter (TG/AP)

              Jimmy and Kyle were sulking in their room, waiting for their annoying babysitter to arrive. Their parents had gone out for the night and called the babysitter over on short notice. The boys hated their babysitter; she never let them play video games or watch the movies they wanted to, and she always made them go to bed super early. They’d do anything to get rid of her, and thankfully Kyle had swiped a shriveled monkey’s paw from the flea market his parents had taken them to last weekend. He had heard the old woman selling the monkeys paws talking about their wish-granting abilities, so he grabbed one when she wasn’t looking and planned to use it to get rid of their current babysitter. He pulled it out from beneath his bed and showed it to his brother.

              “Hey, Jimmy, check this out. This thing is supposed to be able to grant wishes, so I’m gonna wish for a new babysitter!”

              “Haha, okay,” Jimmy said, scoffing at the thought. He was younger than Kyle, but he considered himself more realistic than his older brother. “Well, what’re you waiting for? Make the wish.”

              “You just watch, little bro,” Kyle said, holding up the monkey’s paw. “I wish we had a babysitter that let us do whatever we wanted!”

              The words of Kyle’s wish echoed in the room, surprising the boys. Suddenly, the monkey’s fist closed and disintegrated into dust. The dust slipped through Kyle’s fingers and began to swirl around the room before enveloping Jimmy. Jimmy screamed as the dust moved faster around him, tearing his clothes and transforming them into a plain, white garment that looked suspiciously like a dress.

              “What’s happen- ack!” As soon as Jimmy opened his mouth, the dust flooded into him and caused him to cough and gag. He fell onto his back as he caught his breath again, sputtering out puffs of dust with a few coughs. “What did that thing do to me?”

              “I, uh, I don’t know. Are you okay?”

              “Yeah, I think. But what’s with my cloth- ooohhhh!” Jimmy began to moan as he felt his chest begin to tingle. The two boys looked at Jimmy’s chest as it began to expand. He threw his arms up as his bones began to crack, growing longer and wider, and leaving him with a torso that looked like it belonged to someone much older than he was. His moans grew louder and more feminine as two mounds of flesh began to protrude from his chest. With a sudden burst, he thrust his chest forward as two sizable breasts grew beneath his enlarging nipples. The boys stared at Jimmy’s ample new cleavage as Jimmy continued to moan, his new breasts sending unknown pleasures coursing through his maturing body.

              “Why is this happening?” Jimmy screamed, noticing how much older, yet girly, he sounded.

              “I don’t know! I’m sorry!” Kyle yelled in panic. “I’m so sorr-“

              “OW!” Jimmy yelled as his legs began to ache. He kicked his legs out in pain as they extended slightly. He felt another tingling coming from his crotch as it began to retract between his legs. It felt uncomfortable and pleasurable at the same time. His heart began to race as his thrashing body caused his breasts to bounce and jiggle on his chest. The sensations coming from his crotch and chest began to blend together, sending more orgasmic feelings coursing through his body. He couldn’t help but moan even more as he continued to grow older and sexier. He felt his boy parts slip between his legs as a fleshy clit took form, growing damper by the second. His legs were still aching though, and combined with the pleasure coursing through his body, the sensations flowing through him caused him to convulse and kick his legs violently as they snapped and extended. Each kick added a few inches to his height, while at the same time inflating his ass. He felt his behind grow enough to raise his lower back off the floor, his spine cracking and taking on a feminine arch as he grew.

              He looked at his brother as he continued to grow older and more feminine. He wanted to cry for help, but as he opened his mouth, all that came out was a feminine moan.

              “Hu…huuuuuuumph…” Jimmy moaned between breaths. Kyle couldn’t help but notice how sultry his little brother sounded now. Kyle himself was just hitting puberty, so seeing his younger brother turning into such an attractive specimen was making Kyle exceedingly confused and uncomfortable.

              “Jimmy, I’m so sorry…” Kyle said on the verge of tears. “I shouldn’t have stolen that thing. This is my fault.”

              Jimmy wanted to say something to his brother, but he felt his face beginning to change as his mind began to grow foggy. He felt his hair grow down his neck and tickle his back, turning a dark blonde in the process. His eyes widened and slanted as they took on a sultry, alluring appearance. His lips thinned out as his nose cracked and shrank a bit, planting itself cutely about his mouth. His face tingled as makeup applied itself to his mature new face. He had aged well into his twenties in a matter of minutes, and as his new reproductive system flooded his body with new hormones, he began to have entirely alien thoughts. He felt his new clit grow damp as memories of cute guys hitting on him entered his mind. His memories of being the best student in school became memories of being the sexist girl in school. He wanted to fight it, but as images of jocks fucking him in the locker room after school flooded his mind, he began to give in. His clit was so wet and so sensitive, and as he slowly began to rub it with a manicured hand, his name began to fade. Jimmy slowly turned into Jade as memories of going to college and meeting her boyfriend formed in the new girl’s mind. She quickly came and screamed in orgasm as Jimmy embraced his new identity. The new girl leaned up and stood over Kyle. She stared at the young boy ogling her exposed crotch and smirked.

              She only took this babysitting job for the easy money, and at least this little brat never gave her any trouble.

              “My boyfriend is coming over tonight, so I’m gonna go get changed.” She said with an authoritative tone. “You can play video games or watch TV or whatever. I don’t care. Just don’t bother me unless it’s an emergency. And don’t tell your parents, unless you want me to take your video games away.”

              “Ji- Jimmy? Are you still in there?” Kyle said hesitantly. “Please, little bro…” Jade didn’t respond. She simply walked into another room and began to change into a bikini for her boyfriend. This kid’s parents were loaded and had a pool in the backyard, so she and her boyfriend were going to have a ball with their private pool for the night. She loved her job, and while Kyle was still confused and traumatized by what he just witnessed, at least his wish was fulfilled. Just not exactly how he expected it, or wanted it, to be.  

Are You Mine?

Summary: Teaching was never Dan’s dream job. It’s just something he kind of stumbled into, but after working at Greenbrook Secondary for two years, he finds himself loving everything about it. Except for maybe the feelings he’s having for one of his students.

Genre: Smut with feels

Word count: 8,067

Kinks: Student/Teacher, hickeys, a lil bit of dirty talk, fucking to Arctic Monkeys (it’s a kink, I swear)

Notes: This is a request from my friend @jinx279. I hope it suffices after the long ass time I made you wait.

Keep reading

Disney Villain Sentence Starters

Evil Queen

“Silence! You know the penalty if you fail.”
“I’ll share a secret with you. This is no ordinary ____, it’s a magic wishing ____.”
“One bite, and all your dreams will come true.”
“Now, make a wish, and take a bite.”
“I’ll fix ya! I’ll crush your bones!”
“All alone, my pet?”

Strombolli

“There! This will be your home - where I can find you always!”
“You will make lots of money… For me!”
“QUIET! Shut up before I *knock* you silly!”

Lady Tremaine

“Well, I see no reason why you can’t go… if you get all your work done.”
“Get up. Quick, this instant! We haven’t a moment to lose!”
“You clumsy little fool!”
“Oh. Well, don’t just stand there. Bring up the breakfast trays at once, and hurry!”
“Hold your tongue! Now, it seems we have time on our hands.”
“Wouldn’t you prefer to eat when all the work is done?” 
“What on earth have you’ve been doing?”
“It would be an insult to take you to the palace dressed in these old rags.”
“I forbid you to do this!”
“How charming, how perfectly charming.”
“Why? Because YOU are *young*, and *innocent*, and *good*, and I…”
“And so, I lived unhappily ever after.”

Queen of Hearts/Red Queen

“I warn you, child… if I lose my temper, you lose your head! Understand?”
“Your way? All ways here are my ways!”
Curtsy while you’re thinking. It saves time.”
“How would you like to have your head hacked off?”
“Never mind him/her. (S)he’s mad.”
“It is far better to be feared than loved.”

Captain Hook

“Thank you, me dear, you’ve been most helpful.”
“So passes on a worthy opponent.”
“Good, then let’s have at it!”
“And that’s why I asked you over, my dear.”
“A jealous female can be tricked into anything.”
“Oh, a little persuasion might be in order.”

Maleficent

“Why so melancholy? A wondrous future lies before you - you, the destined hero(ine) of a charming fairy tale come true.”
“Oh, they’re hopeless. A disgrace to the forces of evil.”
“Touch the spindle. Touch it I say!”
“You poor, simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me.
Well, here’s your precious *(prince)ss*!”
“Are you sure you searched everywhere?”
“I must say, I really felt quite distressed at not receiving an invitation.”
“Oh dear! What an awkward situation.”
“This curse will last till the end of time! No power on ____ can change it!”
“I like you begging. Do it again.”

Cruella DeVil

“You can’t possibly afford to keep them. You can scarcely afford to feed yourselves.”
“Come now, I’m being more than generous.”
“Do as you like with them! Drown them!”
“But I warn you, ____, we’re through. I’m through with all of you! I’ll get even. Just wait.”
“I’ve got no time to argue. I tell you, it’s got to be done tonight!”
So they thought they could outwit ____?”
“What kind of sycophant are you?”
“We lose more women to marriage than war, famine, and disease.”
“Darling, red isn’t your color.”
“Be sure to let me know when the blessed event occurs.”
“My faith in your limited intelligence is momentarily restored.”

Madame Mim

“Now, first of all, if you don’t mind, I’ll make the rules.”
“Sounds like someone’s sick. How lovely.”
“So, my boy/girl, I’m afraid I’ll have to destroy you.”
“Yeah, I-I’ll give you a sporting chance. I’m mad about games, you know.”
“And (s)he must see something good in you.”

Shere Khan

“I can’t be bothered with that, I have no time for that nonesense.”
“Perhaps. But at the moment I’m searching for a ____.”
“Why should you run? Is it possible that you don’t know who I am?
Precisely. And you should know that everyone runs from ____.”
“Ah, you have spirit for one so small.”
“Now, I’m going to close my eyes and count to ten. It makes the chase more interesting… for me.” 
“Does my face not remind you of what grown man can do?”
“All I ask for is one thing and you denied me. Well that ends now.” 

Edgar

“You’re going to ____ if it’s the last thing I do.”

Sheriff of Nottingham

Now, take it easy, ____, I’m just doing my duty.
Listen, ____, you’re mighty preachy and you’re gonna preach your neck right into a hangman’s noose.

Prince John

“____, with you around, who needs a court jester?”
“You’re never around when I need you!”
“I told you never to mention ____’s name!”
“Get out of that if you can.”
“I sentence you to sudden, instant, and even immediate death!”
“My dear, emotional lady, why should I?”
“Young love, your pleads have not fallen upon a heart of stone. But traitors must die!”
“This crown gives me a feeling of power! Power! Forgive me a cruel chuckle. Heh-heh-heh. Power.”
“Stop sniveling and hold still.”

Madame Medusa

“You must gain their confidence… make them like you.”
“Now, I’m going to let bygones be bygones. Do you know what would make Auntie/Uncle ____ very happy?”
“Of course, you have. But we must try harder, mustn’t we?”
“Adopted? What makes you think anyone would want a homely little girl/boy like you?”
“Not until you get the diamond!”

Amos Slad

“Watch it, that thing’s loaded.”
“____, get back in there before I break your other leg.”

The Horned King

“You’ve interfered for the last time!”
“Perhaps it would interest you to see what fate has in store for you.”

Ratigan

“Oh, my dear ____. I’m afraid that you’ve gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me.”
“You don’t know what a delightful dilemma it was, trying to decide on the most appropriate method for your demise.”
“Oh, I had so many ingenious ideas I didn’t know which to choose. So I decided to use them all.”
“You should have chosen your friends more carefully.”
“All will bow before me!”

Sykes

“Three sunrises. Three sunsets. Three days, ____.”
“So, ____. Did we bring something green and wrinkly to make ____ happy?”
“If you don’t have my money…”
“Now, I lent you some money, and I don’t see it. Do you know what happens when I don’t see my money, ____?”

Ursula

“So much for true love!”
“My dear, sweet child. That’s what I do. It’s what I live for, to help unfortunate ___, like yourself, poor souls with no one else to turn to.”
“It’s she who holds her tongue who gets her man.”
“Oh, and there is one more thing. We haven’t discussed the subject of payment. You can’t get something for nothing, you know.”

Gaston

“It’s not right for a woman to read. Soon she starts getting *ideas*, and *thinking*…”
“How can you read this? There’s no pictures!”
“This is the day your dreams come true.”
“Say you’ll marry me.”
“If I didn’t know better, I’d think you had *feelings* for this monster.”
“It’s over, ____! ____ is mine!”

Jafar

“You will order ____ to marry me.”
“____ *will* marry me!”
“You’re speechless, I see. A fine quality in a wife.”
“I am your master now!
“Trust me, my friend. You’ll get what’s coming to you.”

Scar

“Life’s not fair, is it?”
“And you… shall never see the light of another day.”
“Ahh, so you haven’t told them your little secret.”
“Oh, no, ____. Perhaps *you* shouldn’t turn your back on *me*.”
“Well, I suppose you’d have found out sooner or later, you being so clever and all.”
“And remember… it’s our little secret.”
“Oooh… I quiver with *fear*…”
“I’m *surrounded* by idiots.”
“Run. Run away, and never return.”

Governor Ratcliffe

“I’ll have your head for this!”
“How dare you!”
“Well, I’ll just have to take it/you by force then, won’t I?”
“This is my land!”
“I make the laws here!”
“That’s what guns are for.”
“A mans not a man unless he knows how to shoot.”

Frollo

“How dare you defy me!”
“Mark my words, —, you will pay for this insolence.”
“Look at that disgusting display.”
“I know you helped him/her escape.”
“You idiot! That wasn’t kindness, it was cunning!”
“Dear boy/girl, whomever are you talking to?”
“I think… you’re hiding something.”
“I’ll find her/him. I’ll find her/him if I burn down all of ____!”
“And this my thanks for taking you in and raising you as my son/daughter?”
“These people are traitors, and must be made examples of.”
“I can save you from the flames of this world, and the next. Choose me, or the fire.”
“You’ve chosen a magnificent prison, but it is a prison nonetheless. Set one foot outside, and you’re mine.”
“You don’t know what it’s like out there. I do. I do.”

Hades

“So you took care of him, huh? “Dead as a doornail.” Weren’t those your *exact* words?”
“Okay, fine, fine. I’m cool. I’m fine.”
“I need somebody who can… handle him/her as a (wo)man.”
“Well, you know, that’s good because that’s what got you into this jam in the first place, isn’t it?”
“You sold your soul to me to save your boyfriend/girlfriend’s life. And how does this creep/bitch thank you? By running off with some babe.”
“(S)he hurt you real bad, didn’t (s)he, ___? Huh?”
“We dance, we kiss, we schmooze, we carry on, we go home happy. What do you say? Come on.”
“____, ____, ____, my sweet deluded little minion. Aren’t we forgetting one teensy-weensy, but ever so crucial little, tiny detail? I own you!”
“____, listen. Do you hear that sound? It’s the sound of your freedom, fluttering away, *forever*!”
“I can’t believe you’re getting all worked up over some “guy/chick.””
“Now you now how it feels to be like everyone else. Isn’t it just peachy?”
“____, my little flower, my little bird, my little *nut*-____. What exactly happened here?”

Shan-Yu

“I tire of your arrogance, ____. Bow to me!”
“Looks like you’re all out of ideas.”
“You took away my victory!”

Clayton

“Go ahead. Shoot me. Be a (wo)man.”
“Why? For 300 pounds sterling a head.” 
“Actually, I have you to thank, old boy/girl. Couldn’t have done it without you.”

Yzma

“Excellent. A few drops in his/her drink, and then I’ll propose a toast, and (s)he will be dead before dessert.”
“Just think of it as you’re being let go, that your life’s going in a different direction, that your body’s part of a permanent outplacement.”
“I know. It’s called a “cruel irony”, like my dependence on you.”
“It is no concern of mine whether or not your family has… what was it again?”
“Take him/her out of town and finish the job now!”
“Why do we even *have* that lever?”
“____! Why did I think you could do this? This one simple thing! It’s like I’m talking to a monkey.”
“Fired? W-W-What do you mean, “fired”?”
“Why, I practically raised him/her.”
“That is the last time we take directions from a ____.”
“This had better be good!”
“_____ is dead, right? Tell me ____’s dead. I need to hear these words.”

Commander Rourke

“What’s to know? It’s big, it’s shiny, it’s gonna make us all rich.”
“It’s called natural selection. We’re just helping it along.”
“Looks like all our chances for survival rest with you, ____.”
“Well, as usual, diplomacy has failed us. Now, I’m going to count to ten, and you’re going to tell me where the crystal is. One, two, nine…”
“I love it when I win.”
“I consider myself an even tempered (wo)man. It takes a lot to get under my skin, but congratulations, you just won the solid-gold kewpie doll.”

Scroop

“____ should learn to mind their own business.”
“Maybe your ears don’t work so well.”
“The girl was sniffing about.”
“It’s that boy/girl. Methinks you have a soft spot for him/her.”
“I say we kill ‘em all now.”

Oogie Boogie Man

“Well well well. What have we here?”
“So you’re the one everybody’s talking about?”
“It’s much more fun, I must confess, with lives on the line.”

Dr. Facilier 

“Gotta hand it to you, ____. When you dream, you dream big.”
“Don’t you disrespect me, little man/lady!” 
“You’re in my world now, not your world.”
“Y'all should have taken my deal.”

Mother Gothel

“Look in that mirror. I see a strong, confident, beautiful/handsome young lady/man. Oh look, you’re here too.”
“I distinctly remember, your birthday was last year.”
“YOU are not leaving this tower! EVER!”
“Great. Now I’M the bad guy.”
“____, please, stop with the mumbling. You know how I feel about the mumbling. Blah blah blah blah blah, it’s very annoying!”
“Dear, this whole romance that you’ve invented just proves you’re too naive to be here.”
“Why would (s)he like you? Come on now, really. Look at you! You think that (s)he’s impressed?”
“Please speak up, ____. You know how I hate the mumbling…”
“Oh, ____, do you even hear yourself? Why would you ask such a ridiculous question?”
“Everything I did was to protect YOU.”
“Where will you go? (S)he won’t be there for you.”
“Now, now, it’s all right. Listen to me. All of this is as it should be.”
“You want me to be the bad guy? Fine. Now I’m the bad guy.”
“The world is dark and selfish and cruel. If it finds even the slightest ray of sunshine, it destroys it!”

King Candy

“Sad as it is, ____ can not be allowed to ____.”
“I’m not against her/him! I’m trying to *protect* her/him!” 
“Welcome to the boss level!”

Prince Hans

“Can I say something crazy? Will you marry me?”
“Oh, ____. If only there was someone out there who loved you.”
“I, on the other hand, am the hero who’s going to save ____ from destruction.”

Bellwether

“It’s still my word against yours.”
“It really is too bad, I… I did like you!”
“I framed ____; I can frame you too!”

No Kissing

(I took a brief intermission from working on my main fic to do a one-shot; I’ve seen a few people lately craving Bechloe married domestic fluff, and I’ve been feeling the same way, so I couldn’t resist the urge!)


Locking up her studio for the night, Beca pockets the key and heads across the back yard to the house.  She comes in through the kitchen, finding it empty and silent this late in the evening.  Checking the clock, she feels a slight twinge of guilt when she sees it’s past eight.  Usually, despite the temptation of her equipment just a few steps away on the same property, she doesn’t allow herself to go back to work after dinner.  (Or rather, Chloe doesn’t allow her to go back to work after dinner.)  But with so many deadlines looming this week she’s had to make some exceptions.

She crosses the back hallway and peeks into the family room.  Chloe is nowhere in evidence, but their daughter, Violet, is sitting on the plush area rug in the middle of the room, clutching her favorite blanket, staring at the TV and absorbed in what looks like a car insurance commercial featuring a talking monkey.  

Beca steps quietly through the doorway and sneaks up closer, then crouches down a few feet behind her, still unnoticed.  “Boo,” she says, but in a soft voice so as not to actually scare her.

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4

I’d like to be remembered as being good. And not harming people. At the same time I want to be remembered for doing something important that affected people for positive change. You learn about Neil Armstrong, coolest thing ever– all of them, all the people before us in this place. But what did Neil Armstrong do? He stepped on the moon first, but he was selected. You know, I think they made it a joke. A monkey went on the moon first. You don’t talk about the monkey.