I think a big part of the reason I love cryptids is that they’re literally the only subgenre of conspiracy theories where you can be reasonably assured it isn’t secretly about hating Jews. Like, when people talk about aliens or lizard people or sinister banking cabals, at least 80% of the time when you look up the foundational literature it’s a bunch of Antisemitic rot and “lizard people” is just a codephrase for “Jews”, but there are very few neo-Fascist whackjobs out there claiming that Bigfoot is Jewish.
TTYL = Talk To Your Lizard
BRB = Bring Reptiles Back
OMG = Oh My God
FML = Free My Lizard
LOL = Love All Lizards
HAVWTMFPWESID: Hark A Vagrant Walking Through My Fertile Pastures What Ever Shall I Do
ILU = International Lizard Union
Shiro: Dog person. Big friendly dogs are the best but there is no such thing as a bad dog. Bury him alive in puppies.
Lance: Dogs and cats are equally good, he will probably say he is more of a cat person because he doesn’t want to make Blue think she’s not his favorite.
Pidge: Dog person, full stop. Cats aren’t bad she’s just allergic to them.
Hunk: Will obstinately talk about lizards every time people bring up dogs vs. cats because he thinks reptiles need more love. Turtles and tortoises are his favorites.
Keith: complete cat person. No social interaction can drag him away from cats. I also feel like he is actually very good at getting along with cats. Has possibly never been scratched in his life, like a very selective Disney Princess.
Allura: Very confused by this whole thing, has to be introduced to Earth animals and the entire concept of dog people and cat people. She probably decides on “dog person” out of those options because she finds out about borzoi and they’re the most beautiful things she’s ever seen. In practice, though, she loves birds. Cockatoos and the big macaws especially.
Coran: See Allura, I have no idea how or why he would find out what they are but I feel like he would adamantly decide on horses as his favorite animal and refuse to choose anything about cats or dogs.
A/N: I still haven’t finished part 2 to pong partner lol I’m kinda stumped (aka send ideas) but this came along so I wrote it. I’m a sucker for the best friend crush and also low key jealous Shawn. Whoops.
Adrien sighed as his kwami flew up and glued himself to the ceiling while screaming about keeping the razors away from him. What Adrien discovered was that, kwamis, need grooming, just like any other animal. Unless we are talking about snakes or lizards. But yes, cat kwamis, needed to get their fur trimmed from time to time and it was one of those times. And of course, Plagg refused to cooperate. The little shit. Adrien cracked his knuckles.
Time to be extra.
He took off, running quickly across one of his skateboard ramps, managing to get to the top without a problem. Then he jumped, getting a hold on the colorful fake rocks of his climbing wall and began to climb like the cat he was. Once he reached the top, he jumped, managing to snatch Plagg from where he was floating and landing on his bed without a trouble.
“DON’T YOU DARE TAKE MY FLOOF AWAY HUMAN, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT.”
Adrien rolled his eyes and kept Plagg in his grip, tight enough for him not to escape, but not tight enough to hurt him. He will stop whining eventually.
One trip to the Frou Frou Pet’s Paradise Styling and Spa and a personal stylist later, Plagg had no more extra fur, being washed, his fur trimmed and stylized.
“I hate you.” the kwami muttered darkly once they were back home.
“Sure, sure.” Adrien rolled his eyes while continuing his video game. Honestly, who did Plagg think he was fooling?
Meanwhile, the kwami of bad luck and destruction was admiring his green bow decorated with small crystals.
“It does make my eyes stand out nicely.” he approved under his breath, then blew himself a kiss in the mirror.
Okay so real talk I met a lizard at a pet shop a couple weeks ago and got so immediately attached but I couldn’t take him home so I named it and took a picture then got a printed version of the picture and hung it on my wall in my bedroom