talking to machines

Something I’ve realised working in retail is that………..ppl just don’t fucking read……

4

<<  5pm alps >>

On the subject of old events, does anyone else remember the Lock Capsule? What was even up with that?

If y’all don’t know what I’m referring to, let me explain. The Lock Capsule was a special event key item in HGSS and BW that was never used. Like not even in Japan. The idea was to have people send this item from HGSS to BW and it’d give them a TM (TM95, Snarl). Sounds straightforward, right? Nope. It was ridiculous. It was nothing but bad ideas and horrible planning.

Let’s pretend we’re an average player without a guide on how to do this whole thing. (Honestly, without a guide, we’re screwed by step 2, but go with me here.)

First of all, it’d have to be sent to HGSS as an event. But in HGSS, the item is absolutely useless - and cryptic. The info just says “A sturdy Capsule that can only be opened with a special key.” This alone would have players searching all over the Johto region looking for this “special key” … but there isn’t one. And there’s not a single clue in the game as to what it’s for, what it does, or how to use it. At all. Nothing. Nada. Null. Zilch.

Then we have BW. Which again for the most part doesn’t mention it at all - unless you have it. And getting it from HGSS to BW is even more absurd. You can’t use the PokeTransfer to send it up - since that only transfers Pokemon. You couldn’t give it to a Pokemon to hold because it was a key item. So, how would you get it there?

You have to use The Relocator, and I’m sure I’ve lost a few of you here. What’s The Relocator? It’s a very special feature of BW. Why don’t you know about it? Because the game fails to really mention that it even exists until you unlock it. And unless you know EXACTLY what you’re doing, there’s no way you can unlock it. You have to find an otherwise totally useless and cryptic NPC in Castelia talking ambiguously about a “special machine” he invented and tell him a specific phrase - “everyone happy, simple connection.” And let’s all be honest with ourselves: at this point, none of us are happy, and this is anything but a simple connection. So he can go take a long walk off a short cliff.

Alright, well, now maybe the game will tell us a little more about the Lock Capsule, or at least the Relocator? Hardly! He only says the Relocator is for “special pokemon and items,” and doesn’t tell you where to find it or how to use it. So again, we’re left clueless. What we actually gotta do is save and restart, and then select The Relocator on the main screen. Which is located at the very bottom of the pre-game menu, so unless you’re looking for it, you’ll probably never see it. As soon as you start it up, it - without any explanation - attempts to open DS wireless communication. At that point, it acts much like PokeTransfer - it tells you to grab your second DS with any 4th gen game inserted and go to Download Play. Except, unlike PokeTransfer, The Relocator can only transfer five every specific things: a shiny event Raikou, Entei, or Suicune, a 4th gen event Celebi, or the Lock Capsule. Oh, by the way, it doesn’t tell you any of that. If you have none of those, it will simply tell you nothing can be relocated. Even if you do have one of those, it doesn’t even tell you it relocated them, it just cryptically says the relocator will close.

Also, the aforementioned Raikou, Entei, Suicune, and Celebi (which are used for the Zoroark and Zorua cutscenes) could be transferred by the normal no-need-to-unlock-in-a-very-odd-and-unknowable-way PokeTransfer and still work fine for those cutscenes. (I wasn’t 100% sure on this, but since posting this I’ve had it verified by others.) Also because The Relocator doesn’t tell you exactly what can be relocated. there’s no way to know it can relocate the Lock Capsule, unless you’re Relocating with a game of HGSS that already has one. That’s it! That’s the only way!

Okay, let’s say you’ve now gotten to this point. You’ve relocated the Lock Capsule. Now what? Right, the item description says it can only be opened with a special key. Time for another key hunt! … or not! Because again, there’s no key! At all! Instead, you have to take it to another random, otherwise useless, completely no hints as to what he really does for you NPC in Castelia. The game, AGAIN, gives you no hints. At all. If you talked to the NPC before getting the Lock Capsule, he simply mentions he picks locks. That’s it. But even if you did talk to him before, you probably forgot all about him, because he’s just a useless NPC on a random floor of a building in the biggest city in Unova.

What’s your reward for all this? The TM for Snarl. And since the Lock Capsule was never released, no game of BW can legitimately have all TMs. Whoops! Also, because GameFreak never deletes items from their games, it’s still a dummied out, non-functional, unobtainable key item. Yeah. Even in Sun and Moon. It’s still there. It’s just hidden away.

So basically, they never did this event because it’d need to come with a highly detailed guide on how to use it. Amazing.

anonymous asked:

I hc bendy having like the deepest roughest voice ever and it's terrifying just to hear. How do you feel about this hc

absolutely terrifying 

RANDOM SENTENCE STARTERS

Following my AUs and Prompts List from a few months back, here is a compilation of my favorite sentence starters for all your writing needs.

Because most of them aren’t mine, credits are at the end.

SHORT

“Marry me.”

“Do you want me to leave?”

“You are not going without me.”

“I can’t believe you!”

“I swear it won’t happen again.”

“What did you say?”

“I’m not jealous.”

"You’re jealous, aren’t you?”

“We can’t keep doing this.”

“Are you sure this is legal?”

“Isn’t this amazing?”

“I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

“Stay the night. Please.”

“You can’t die. Please don’t die.”

“Run away with me.”

“You did WHAT?”

“Quit whining.”

“Get outta my sight!”

“Why are you so annoying?”

“Were you ever going to tell me?”

"Never in a million years.”

“Don’t ask me that…”

“I might have had a few shots.”

“What’s with the box?”

“W- What are you doing?”

“Say it!”

“I could kiss you right now!”

“Are you done with that?”

“What’s going on here?”

“Stop pinning this on me! You started it!”

“It’s your fault we’re in this mess.”

“Did you do this on purpose?!”

“Kiss me.”

“Are you still awake..?”

“Excuse you?”

“This is all your fault!”

“I can’t believe you dragged me into this.”

“Don’t give me that look! It wasn’t my fault!”

“I shouldn’t be in love with you!”

“It’s not fair!”

“I could kill you right now!”

“Knock it off!”

“Screw you!”

“You’re a complete moron!”

“I love this song!”

“I can’t be in love with you!”

“Make me.”

“Don’t tempt me.”

“I hate you.”

“You are infuriating!”

“Just shut up already.”

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Bite me.”

“Eat me.”

“Kiss my ass.”

“Just admit I’m right.”

“Just admit you’re wrong.”

“You are being ridiculous!”

“That’s irrational.”

“Listen to me!”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Don’t yell at me.”

“That’s it. End of discussion.”

“I don’t believe you.”

“You shouldn’t have said that.”

“Fuck you!”

“Shut your mouth before I shut it for you.”

“How dare you?”

“I dare you!” 

“It’s you, it’s always been you.” 

“Well this is awkward…”

“Just pretend to be my date”.  

MISCELLANEOUS

“Are you really gonna leave without asking me the question you’ve been dying to ask me?”

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”

“I just did some calculations, and I’ve been able to determine that you’re full of shit.”

“You know what I like most about people? Pets.”

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they’d lock us up?”

“What about a compromise? I’ll kill them first, and if it turns out they were friendly, I’ll apologize.”

“I don’t hate you.. I just don’t like that you exist.”

“Love is the jelly to sunshine’s peanut butter. And if I tell you that I’m in sandwich with you, I’m not just saying it to get in your Ziploc bag.”

“Do things that make you happy within the confines of the legal system.”

“Did you really just insult Captain America in front of me?”

“Can I touch your boob?”

“It’s not that you’re wrong, exactly, you’re just extremely not right.”

“You shouldn’t be trusted with small children, should you?”

“Give me cake or give me death.”

“On a scale from, ’I can sometimes make important phone calls without crying’ to ’I have a stable job with a steady income, a spouse who loves me, a dog, and two kids who are screwed up minimally at worst’, how much of an adult are you?”

“You think I’m dumb enough to fall for that stupid move?”

“Despite the cliche, it’s not me, it’s you.”

“Obviously you can’t tell a woman you just met that you love her, but it sucks that you can’t.”

“No, it was my fault for thinking that you might care.”

“When you love someone, you just don’t stop. Ever. Even when people roll their eyes or call you crazy… even then. Specially then!”

“If you’re not scared, then you’re not taking a chance. If you’re not taking a chance, then what the hell are we doing anyway?”

“I think I’ve been holding myself back from falling in love with you all over again.”

“What have I told you about the toilet seat?”

“I tried to change the duvet and I got stuck inside.”

“I vote today to be a pajama day.”

“You have to tell me why were committing a felony before we do it. Not that that’s going to stop us, but at least I’ll have all the facts.”

“I don’t leave messages. If I wanted to talk to a machine, I’d talk to my VCR.”

“I can be flexible. As long as everything is exactly the way I want it, I’m totally flexible.”

“You know we’re suppose to be together. I knew it the first time I saw you, and you know it, too. I know you do.”

“Those things you said yesterday… Did you mean them?”

“I’m not going to apologise for this. Not anymore.”

“What I hear when I’m being yelled at is people caring loudly at me.”

“I am NOT crying, okay?! I’m allergic to jerks!”

“This would not happen if I had a penis!”

“That’s almost exactly the opposite of what I meant.”

“All nighter, you and me. First one to fall sleep buys the other dinner.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever played spin the bottle.”

“Sorry! I didn’t mean to touch your butt.”

“I’m ok, thank you. Just please, stop talking to me.”

“To the night you’ll never remember!”

“Excuse me, did the 12:15 bus come by already?”

“Could I sit here? All the other tables are full.”

“Are you meeting someone here? Because.. I think I’m that person.”

“You weren’t supposed to laugh! I’m so embarrassed!”

“It must be hard with your sense of direction, never being able to find your way to a decent pickup line.”

“Driver picks the music, shotgun shuts his/her cake hole.”

“I’m not gonna die in a hospital where the nurses aren’t even hot.”

“You better take care of that car or I swear I’ll haunt your ass!”

“This is the dumbest thing you’ve ever done.“

“It’s a real shame nobody asked for your opinion.”

“I could do that, but could doesn’t mean would.”

“You cannot fathom the immensity of the fucks I don’t give.”

“You’re like, five feet tall. How you gonna reach me, shortie?”

"I recognize that you have reached a decision, but given that it is a stupid ass decision I have elected to ignore it”

“Do you need me to kill someone for you?”

“Look out where you’re going, asshole!”

“Fuck the sandwich guy!”

“I did not mean for stripping to come out of this.”

“The whole street is blocked off. The police won’t tell us anything, but I think there’s been some kind of attack… Maybe a bomb?”

“Oh my god, are you okay? I’m calling the police. I think I saw who did this to you.”

“I’m weird, you’re weird, we could have weird little babies and live weirdly ever after if it wasn’t for the fact I find you repulsive.”

“There is nothing wrong with planning a wedding with a video game character.”

“I’m gonna lay down and die for like half hour okay?”  

“There’s been some real friction in our friend group lately. I suggest an orgy to save our friendships.”

“It’s midnight, what do you want?”

“I think I know how to use a bed.”

“If I wake up in the morning and I’m dead… Wait.”

“You are completely unfit to handle a child.”

“We have to get out of this place. It is EVIL.”

“Don’t you dare throw that snowba-, goddammit!”

“When in doubt curl into the fetal position and give up on life.”

“It’s not a double date, we’re just third and forth wheeling.”

PREGNANCY

“I have something to tell you…”

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“I’m pregnant!”

“When were you going to tell me that you’re pregnant?”

“You’re smart and successful with an adorable belly.”

“$50 bucks says it’s a girl/boy.”

“Pregnancy suits you…”

“Hello little one. We can’t wait to meet you…”

“I’ll just be in the bathroom throwing my fucking guts up because our unborn kid wants to be a dick!”

“There’s someone I’d like you to meet…”

“Shh… He/she’s sleeping..”

“I have a special surprise for you. Close your eyes and follow me.”

“No, no, no, no, no, we aren’t ready… We aren’t ready for kids yet!”

“Oh, gosh, I felt it! I felt a kick!”

FLUFF

“Your hair is so soft…”

“You’re so cute when you pout like that!”

“Just relax, I’ll wash your hair for you.”

“I’m not going to stop poking you until you give me some attention.”

“What, does that feel good?”

“HA! I found a weak-spot on you, didn’t I?”

“Are you wearing my shirt?”

“You are ridiculously comfortable…”

“I’ve had a rough day and honestly all I want right now is a drink and someone to cuddle with…”

“You’re so cute when you’re half asleep like this…”

“You’re beautiful, you know that?”

“We should get a puppy!”

STARGAZING

“Aren’t they beautiful?”

“These stars are nothing compared to the ones I’ve seen in your eyes.”

“Shooting star, make a wish.”

“It’s actually a comet, but I’ll still make one.”

“Imagine if it could always be this way, even in the city.”

“Never thought something so beautiful could exist in nature…”

“Wouldn’t it be cool to name a star after yourself?”

“Y'know, your roof may not be the safest place for us to stargaze.”

“This is why you made me drive three hours out into the middle of nowhere?”

“Is that a– Wait, no, just an airplane.”

“I wouldn’t mind falling asleep out here.

FLIRTY/SUGGESTIVE/SEXUAL

“Did you just… finish?”

“They always make shower sex sound so appealing, but honestly, this is getting dangerous.”

“I’m not actually feeling anything.”

“Are you getting any closer?”

“Why do they make this look so easy in all those porn movies?! This hurts like fuck!”

“Did something just happen? You’re not turned on anymore.”

“Shit sorry, am I going too fast?”

“Wow, you’re hot.”

“Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?”

“Hey, I’m open minded.”

“Keep sweet-talking and this could go a whole new direction.”

“I think it’s about time we stop avoiding the obvious.”

“I’m gonna be honest with you. I’m really horny, and you’re really hot. Can we fuck? Like, now?”

“I see someone’s happy to see me.”

“I saw that. You just checked me out.”

“You know, when this is over, we should really have angry sex.”

“Take off your clothes.”

“Tell all those other guys/girls you don’t need them ‘cause you got me.”

“Don’t give me that face, it’s so cute I might not be able to hold back.”

“Boobs are really just squishy pillows.”

“If you don’t get turned on by having your neck kissed somethings wrong with you.”

“Blasphemy! Sex solves everything.”

“I platonically want to have sex with you. No big deal.”

TEXTS

[text]: What do you want now?

[text]: Do you want to bet on that?

[text]: Guess who just got back in town.

[text]: So I might be in a hospital right now…

[text]: We can’t keep doing this anymore!

[text]: Come on, come to the party!

[text]: Can you pick me up from the bar? Too drunk to drive.

[text]: You have no clue how I feel so shut up.

[text]: I call bullshit.

[text]: You thought you could get away with that, didn’t you?

[text] I gave up great shower sex to be here so don’t say I never did anything for our friendship.

[text] Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.

[text] Also, my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall.

[text] Who says no to sex and donuts?!

[text] I know what you did last summer…

Sources: x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x

((First and foremost, I’d like to say that this guy’s beard impresses me greatly

I couldn’t pass up the chance to draw @asktheinkdemon‘s Henry design because he is aN ADORABLE OLD CINNAMON ROLL THAT NEEDS TO BE PROTECTED AT ALL COSTS))

8

But the truth is: when I saw him standing across from me in the arena and I knew only one of us could live…I wanted it to be me.

Scott Borchetta interview with Alan Cross for Canadian Music Week (April 2017)

EXCERPTS ABOUT TAYLOR

AC: [talking about recognizing a special character] If you come into contact with a true superstar and there is a charisma that comes off of them effortlessly, the kind of person when they walk into the room and your back is to the door - you know they’re in the room…
SB: Yeah, I always say that colors in the room change, like if Steven Tyler walked in right now you’d be going […starts turning around…], Steven is here, okay, I got it… because it’s just that thing. And I’m sure any of you can remember a moment, whether you got to meet Mick Jagger or Taylor, and you just went: “WOW! There’s a lot more juice in this person than everybody else”.


AC: So you were gonna build “Big Machine” the way you thought a record label needed to be built, from ground up. And you had no office, no money, no staff, you had nothing except your eye on this 14-year-old girl. You were scouting this 14-year-old talent?
SB: Yeah, so the irony is I get a package, this is an October 2004 and my deal with Universal goes through September 2005, so I get Taylor’s package in October and I meet her November 2nd 2004, I was blown away… and I go to see her two nights later at the Bluebird Cafe, go to meet the family and I’m just completely knocked out by her being, how smart she was at 15-years-old, how incredible the songs were. And then I go back for a second meeting and say: “If you wanna be signed at Universal I will introduce you to the executives and try to help you get signed, but you need to know something - I’m leaving in a year, I’m gonna start my own label, don’t know what it’s called but I can make you one promise tonight - when I start it, you have a deal with me”. And they looked at me and  just kinda went […motions a blank stare…]. They go: “Wow, we finally found someone who gets her and he’s crazy”. So couple weeks later, Taylor had just turned 15, and she called me herself and said: “Hey, just wanna let you know I’ve made up my mind and I’m waiting for you”. And it wasn’t from a manager, wasn’t from a parent, and I said: “Well, you’ve made my day”.
AC: Why do you think she made that decision?
SB: I think because she have had a deal at RCA priors, she had a development deal and they did not believe in her songs and they were trying to get her to work with other songwriters, different producers and they didn’t feel that they understood her and I was immediately fascinated with her songs. And I didn’t realize it back then but, when she came into the office, she literally came into Universal and she played me a song, a second song, and for those of you who know Taylor’s music, the second song was “Picture To Burn” and I said that’s a hit song. And I think from that moment she thinks: “Okay, I think this guy gets me and understands my songs”. I’ve never once brought up to her idea of doing an outside song. So she know that I believe… at her being she’s a songwriter, yes - incredible at everything else, but in her being, the most important thing and 50 years from now when you look back at this moment they’ll go - oh, the Michelangelo of the moment was Taylor Swift.

Keep reading

I’m not sure how many people have talked about, because I’ve LOOKED the best I can, but has anyone else pointed out the ink splatters at the holes in the wall?

Like, you first see it after Bendy peeks around the corner, before you get to the projector room to activate the ink flow.

Keep reading

Sammy Jam (Lampblack City Reprise)
themeatly games ltd. / WarWasp 26
Sammy Jam (Lampblack City Reprise)

(A revision of Sammy Jam for a revised Sammy Lawrence… From sheep to shepard, since those dark days down in Joey Drew Studios, Sammy has come a long way, in spite of, or perhaps because of his inky prison of a body. Who knew being a terrifying ink man could garner you so much reverence? And all it took was a little Ink on the streets for his flock to begin to gather before his anotherness. They came for Sammy’s power, but they stayed for his big ideas.

My brother (War Wasp) has been working on little tunes for Lampblack, as if they would be used in the hypothetical game, just because… it’s fun. He’s great at making music, but he hasn’t felt ready to share anything he’s made yet, until right now! Everything else he’s been working on is completely original, but in discussing what kind of music to do, I asked if he’d try out a “Sammy Jam” reprise for powerful-faction-leader-Sammy-Lawrence, as a step up from the original “Sammy Jam” which belonged to a pretty pathetic guy, and in my opinion he NAILED IT! What stands out most to me, besides it just being more energized in the best way, is that he turned those pieces of the original meant to be a little broken and deranged and turned them into powerful, intentional parts of the song; which totally mirrors how Lampblack!Sammy took his disturbed state and turned it into power. I can’t stop listening to this. I hope you guys like it as much as I do! -HG)

I have been the bad guy before,
I kissed a boy so broken
I could taste his heart inbetween his teeth
And took that as an invitation to spit forever down his throat
I held her hand so tight
Our bones shattered
And blamed her for letting go
I traced the scars on his wrist
Just so i could linger there long after i left
I wrote poems about her eyes
And told her i loved her as much as i believed in god
I never believed in god
I let him touch my body and promised it would always be his
And smiled into his bestfriend’s bed
I could never belong to anybody, he should have known that
I told her i’d always be there
But when the phone rang at 2 AM
I turned it off and let her talk to the answering machine instead,
I never meant it
I have scattered my ashes
Around people who claim they love me
Just to prove to them they can’t love someone like me
Just to prove to myself i can’t love anything right

-R.J//LOVE ME LOVE ME LOVE ME//
(via @boypoetic)