talking about hockey

Jack Zimmermann on drunk history.

So, we’re talking years down the line. Stanley cup champion Jack Zimmermann has come out, married Bitty. They are both degrees of celebrity and Jack entertains people with random historical rants on twitter. Like, there’ll be nothing for two months then a mass of tweets about some battle you’ve never heard of then nothing again for weeks or whatever.

And the drunk history people approach his agent who turns it down because Jack and alcohol but Jack finds out. And he’s like, I see where you’re coming from but I’m in a good place and within limits I’m willing to do this. So the drunk history people have to agree to not push him to drink more, Bitty and Shitty are both going to be there but he’s basically up for this.

And everyone but everyone is expecting uptight hockey robot Jack Zimmermann being, like, 110% intense about hockey history or something.

Instead they get Jack Zimmermann speaking about historical gay romance, lying in his husband’s lap and keeping interupting his own stories to tell Bitty just how much he loves him. Bitty is delighted. Shitty cries at the beauty of it. The world loves it. When he sobers up again Jack is kind of shy about it in a pleased way. Like, if you mention it to him he blushes and smiles and talks about hockey at you.

It’s adorable.

4

wow a sudden update and it’s also a prequel of the previous update! way to twist things

anyway!! I thought that noah hadn’t enough screen time and this popped up without even noticing… (it’s a bit rushed though, you can see it)

this is set before this and this comic, nhk trophy was before cup of china where mamoru won his 8th gold

we talked about an hockey team that is noah’s biggest fan club and i couldn’t wait to put them in the story as I sketched their profiles some time ago already!

they are a college hockey team from muenchen, germany, that shares its ice rink with a few figure skaters, included noah. like most of us, they were totally smitten by his lovely way of… existing. they are very supportive and if they have time and money they go to see noah’s competitions (as noah goes to watch their matches if he has time).

but back to the main story!  the schedule of the grand prix of figure skating is the following:

the skaters compete in three cups instead of only two because of plot reasons. (it was my mistake during the early stages of the story)


( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yuri on Ice Lovechildren AU

6

Patrick Kane talks about his hat trick and the first line (x)

So I finally went through omgeverythingplease and here are things that I didn’t know
  • Bitty is OBSESSED with food. OBSESSED.
  • Boy has a *problem*
  • Like I know we like to headcanon that Bitty goes into some sort of media, but he’s more likely to become a food critic. Basically he’s more into the “baking” part of “baking vlog” than the “vlog” part.
  • Holster is a grumpy messy bitch.
  • For real, the team seriously debated who was grumpier: Jack or Holster
  • (for like, a hot second, before the answer became obvious)
  • (It’s Jack. Jack is the grumpiest)
  • Ransom and Bitty are very close friends. Close enough that Bitty chirps Holster that he’s being replaced via tweet.
  • Ransom and Bitty get PSLs from “ ‘Bucks”.
  • That is a quote. Eric Richard Bittle has called Starbucks, ‘Bucks.
  • (I bet he calls Target, Tar-zhay too)
  • This one was a bit more analytical: we found out about Jack coaching peewee via Bitty’s twitter
  • Bitty is the one who tells us that the Jack says the kids call him “Coach Z”
  • Because Bitty is the one who typed out the tweet, if the kids called Jack “Coach Zed”, he would have spelled out “Zed.”
  • Therefore we can assume that the kids called Jack “Coach Zee” and not “Coach Zed”
  • However this revelation by Jack was immediately followed by a debate over Zee vs. Zed. So who really knows?
  • I still don’t know how either of them pronounces “pecan”
  • More after the cut because this is getting long

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“Sean Monahan wrote Jay Feaster. He said that I promise if Calgary drafts me, I’ll play in the NHL as an 18 year old. He did and he has 20+ goals four years in a row.”

What’s up, it’s Alexei!

When Ngozi posted this picture yesterday of young post-draft Tater “trying his darnedest to answer press questions in English,” I thought, “You know, I could make a play fic out of that.” Which is what led to the following 2700+ words about Tater and his ESL tutor.

Many, many thanks to @ktheunready for being my Russian authenticity consultant and beta!


Georgia Martin stood at the back of the media scrum and watched Alexei Mashkov stumble his way through his post-draft interview, saw the way his fingers kneaded the brim of the brand-new Falconers’ cap he’d been handed for the initial official photos, saw the way his eyes widened and stayed intently glued to whoever was asking him a question, like he was afraid he’d miss some key bit of meaning if he blinked.

She pulled out her phone and made a call.

***

«No, Mama, I promise, my room is very nice. The family is very nice. Everything is very…»

«Let me guess, nice? »

Alexei sighed. «Yes.»

«You know I don’t doubt you, right, Alyosha? I’m not worried you can’t do this. You will be fine. But I know this is your first time to live in another country, with none of the boys from your teams here. It can be… hard, sometimes. I know.»

«Yeah, Mama, I know. You told me.»

«Are you telling me you’ve heard the stories of my youth too many times?» she asked in mock outrage.

«No, no!» he laughed. «Of course not.»

«Good. I should think not.» He could picture her face exactly, and it made him smile. «I’m glad your host family seems nice, Alyosha. I’m sure you will have many friends in no time.»

He flopped back on the bed again and stared at the ceiling. «I hope so.»

«We’ll talk again soon. Love you, son.»

«Love you, too.»

He hung up and let his phone rest on his chest. He’d been to America before. He’d thought he’d known what it would be like, that it wouldn’t be so bad. Different, yes, but there would be so many interesting new things to see, and new teammates, and he certainly knew how to play hockey. What he had failed to take into account, apparently, was how exhausting it was to try to function in English all day. For a US hockey team, the Falconers’ roster was shockingly low on Russian players, so his host family was one of the French Canadian ones. To their credit, they did speak some Russian, but it was hardly enough to have a real conversation. Alexei felt like he’d been practically mute all day.

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ransom: we all thought you were straight and having sex with like tons of women

jack: why would i do that? why would i have sex with random people who might not even know about hockey

holster: you dont need to talk about hockey during sex?

bitty: you’d be surprised

In 40 years, I’ll tell my kids about Game 1 against Nashville. I’ll tell them what it felt like to lift the Cup. But more importantly, I’ll tell them about Johnny and Brent and Duncan and Crow and Kaner and Shaw and on and on. I’ll tell them about all the time we spent in hotels, and on buses and airplanes, just talking about hockey, and about life — and if it was Johnny, probably about life on Mars.

It all means more to me than anyone will ever understand.

I love you, guys.

I love you, Chicago.

I thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Sincerely,

Scott

—  Scott Darling in The Player’s Tribune

i’ve definitely written a headcanon on this (in my ancient ‘bee writes’ tag) but i still wanna read a thing where Tater comes over to Vegas on Kent’s birthday to celebrate, just the two of them. He usually goes out to celebrate with the team, but this year apparently everyone else has other plans for the Fourth of July and they didn’t seem keen on inviting Kent for some reason, which hurts a little bit, since he thought he’d finally integrated himself by this point), but it’s nothing Kent isn’t used to.

After being wined and dined that night, Kent is not exactly drunk but he’s definitely giggly and can’t keep his hands off Tater as they stumble back to the apartment. Tater picks him up when they exit the elevator, to Kent’s delight, and he makes a half-squeal as he wraps his legs around Tater’s waist. 

“Key’s in my back pocket,” Kent says mid-kiss, tangling his fingers in Tater’s hair. There’s just something so great about Tater being able to hoist Kent up like he weighed nothing. The fact that his teammates forgot his birthday isn’t even bothering Kent anymore, not when his boyfriend has his hands all over Kent’s ass. 

They’re making out heavily by the time Tater gets the door open. It’s also about when they hear the sound of an entire hockey team from inside the apartment scream: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, KENT FUCKING PARS–oh, Jesus fuck–”

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2

The gender wage gap is keeping the US women’s hockey team from the world championships

  • The U.S. women’s hockey team has an impressive streak of IIHF World Championship wins, having won gold in six of the last eight world tournaments.
  • But the reigning team has announced it will sit out of the 2017 games in protest of unequal wages that players said pale in comparison to the men’s team’s earnings. According to ESPN, the team’s lawyers have long been in talks with USA Hockey about fair compensation, but players have yet to see any “meaningful progress." 

  • Until they do, they won’t be anywhere near the world championship rink — and with the games set to begin March 31, time is running out. Read more. (3/15/2017 1:22 PM)