I don’t know if I can wait a few weeks
I’m so sorry
But maybe I got help too late.
So what if death is permanent,
This feeling feels like that too.
Fake smiles, pretending
I don’t know if I can kill myself either
I know that it will get better
I don’t know how long I can hear my brain scream
So loud, constantly
One two three four five
Count the screaming away
If I don’t, I might open my mouth
And let it all out.
But nobody wants that
No one wants my sobbing, screaming mind
I won’t have the strength to jump
But I do wish for an end button.
I know that this is not me talking, but my broken brain
I have never feared death,
But the fear of doing it myself
Everyone holds me, loves me
But so does Depression.
I am sorry,
This is not my fault.
I don’t know if I can wait a few weeks.
If I can’t, then this is for you.
I love you, and it was not you.
If I can survive these few weeks,
Then this is for me.
Good job, hold on.
Please understand this though.
This was never your fault,
No matter the outcome.