talk about butterflies!

Someone please talk to me about the fact that King Butterfly knows what it means for a princess to be evaluated, and that fact that Baby annoys him because she eats all of his food, and why does that sound familiar, oh yeah, because that’s exactly how Baby treated Marco.

It’s all too easy to imagine a young Moon Butterfly, nearly fifteen years old and dreading her first evaluation. She pours over her spellbook, determined to memorize everything, and frowns when Glossaryck says, “You’re not ready for that one” because Glossaryck is always so honest, even when his words cut deep.

“Has a princess ever failed her evaluation?” she asks. Her voice is steady, practiced, and proper, undaunted by disappointment or hardship.

“Yes,” Glossaryck replies. “And even if they hadn’t, who’s to say that you couldn’t be the first?”

She doesn’t blink at that, doesn’t give him the satisfaction of seeing her flinch. She will, later, many years down the line, when Chauncey falls in battle and the whole world is crumbling apart, she’ll show Glossaryck just how deeply things affect her and just how hard she can cry, but for now there’s only one person she shares those things with, and he’s well outside the palace walls.

River is quite something to see in his youth, fearsome and fearless and strong. Most would say he has hair like sunlight but it’s always reminded Moon of the stars, shining yellow and bright alongside her namesake. He’s so different from her own family, so wild and loud; he says exactly what he’s thinking and doesn’t hide it behind guile and double-meanings, false smiles and polite words. He introduces the revolutionary concept that it is alright to express one’s emotions, to shout when one is angry, or declare one’s love in the middle of a tourney, because the princess has bested many monsters and he hopes to one day be as capable as she.

Moon doesn’t admit, at first, how nervous she is or how frightened, but River can tell. River’s learned to read the way she holds her hands, or the way her mouth thins out to silently reflect what she’s feeling, and he pulls her away from the rowdy, rude Johansen clan and wraps his arms around her.

In time, they return to the palace. River likes it here about as much as Moon likes the Johansen’s; he can see it from her point of view, appreciate it in a way, because it’s a symbol of Mewman tradition, steeped in ceremony and significance. These things are as vital and natural to Moon as breathing, but to River it will never quite feel like home.

They lock themselves in the kitchen and delight in roast boar and little pastries that River cannot name but also cannot stop eating. It’s here that Baby finds them, and here that Moon’s evaluation begins; Baby asks her to pass an apple from the counter and Moon hesitates, her hands folded, her mouth thin.

Suddenly, River picks up the apple and tosses it. It flies over Baby’s shoulder and splatters against the wall, and River laughs from deep inside his gut and cries, “Do I pass? Am I a princess?”

The corners of Moon’s mouth curve ever slightly upwards, and all at once her fear is gone, because no matter how poorly she does, it won’t be as bad as that.

Sooooo… This is open discussion. In the episode “Into The Wand” we see “grandma” room. There is tapestry of Eclipsa who is the grandmother to Star (I think so, bc she call Celend grand-grand-grandmother).

When we see Star’s mother - Moon. Therefore Moon is daughter of Eclipsa. How do you think, what relationship had these two being on the different side of war?

And the third important things. Why Toffee has symbols of diamonds (Moon) and spades (Eclipsa) on his shoulders?

love and gelato

Victor’s life consists of three things: taking classes at the local university, figure skating on the weekends, and working at a florist shop downtown. After years upon years of monotony, he’s convinced that nothing can take him by surprise anymore. However, when a new employee begins working at Celestino’s, a gelato shop across the road, Victor’s immediately intrigued. Something about watching “gelato boy” work, or laugh, or dance when he thinks no one is watching ignites emotions within Victor that he thought long buried, and soon enough he finds himself longing to meet the boy behind the counter.

In order to fulfill his wish, Victor begins leaving flowers with flirty notes attached to them outside Celestino’s, knowing gelato boy will find them the next morning. It becomes a routine, another expected part of his day, but what happens when notes written on cups begin appearing in return?

[AO3 Link]

Victor’s never been in love.

Sure, he’s had flings over the years, short, temperate relationships that fizzled out before they really began, but he’s never felt anything close to what all those sappy, romantic songs talk about. No butterflies in the pit of his stomach, no talking on the phone into the early hours of the morning, no pining for someone he can’t have. He can count on one hand the amount of times he’s been on a second date, and he’s never been on a third.

Ultimately, Victor’s decided that people are simply boring, and that’s the last thing he needs when his life is already an ocean of monotony. Every day is the same, a cycle of going to class, working at Yakov’s Flower Emporium, and skating whenever he’s able. He can wake up in the morning and know exactly what he’s going to do and who he’s going to see. Nothing’s exciting anymore and hasn’t been for a long time. The last thing he needs is a bland romantic life to match, and after years of messy one night stands and unfulfilling coffee dates, Victor’s resigned himself to the fact that for now, at least, he’s better off alone.

But then gelato boy comes along and Victor suddenly finds himself questioning everything.

It was three months ago when Victor saw gelato boy for the first time. He’s fixing the arrangements for the flower shop’s front counter display when he glances up and sees a guy who takes his breath away. The boy is casually standing in Celestino’s, the gelato shop that popped up about a year ago, looking out of place behind the counter. His black hair is unruly, swooping across his forehead and falling in front of a pair of half-rimmed, blue glasses. His hip is cocked out to the side and he’s wringing his hands together, only stopping when Celestino appears from the back room and hands him one of the shop’s obnoxious, lime green aprons to wear. The boy takes it with a devastatingly beautiful smile then loops it over his head, laughing when it catches on his ear.

Adorable, Victor thinks.

He ends up discreetly watching the boy for the rest of his shift. When Yakov asks for a volunteer to water the window boxes, Victor raises his hand before anyone else can get a word in edgewise, because he knows he can sneak glances at the boy while he does it. When he is assigned desk duty, Victor finds himself more entertained by the boy taking notes on gelato flavors than doing his own work. And when he is closing up for the day, Victor nearly burns down the building when he knocks a candle over and sets a pile of business cards on fire, too distracted by the boy swaying his hips to a song Victor can’t hear.

Needless to say, Victor is one-hundred percent smitten, and the following weeks are filled with his pathetic, lovelorn pining. It seems like nobody can escape his bemoaning over “gelato boy,” as they’ve all come to refer to Celestino’s mystery worker. If Victor isn’t talking about gelato boy, then he’s doodling pictures of him on discarded receipts. If he’s not doodling, then he’s making heart eyes at him through the window. And if he’s not making heart eyes, then he’s finding any excuse to work by front desk where he can have clear view of Celestino’s.

It’s ridiculous, enough that his coworkers intervene.

Keep reading

Lately, I find myself thinking about you more and more. I wanna talk to you,
I wanna get to know you and most of all I wanna fall in love with you.
—  L.N. | and i want you to fall in love with me too

my aesthetic: jacob and enoch laying in a messy bed and holding hands. jacob looks out the window and says something about how the sky is really bright for night time and enoch tells him that it’s not as bright as he is, immediately realizing that he actually said that out loud. jacob’s whole face turns red and enoch doesn’t look at him for a solid ten minutes.

both are thankful when they’re called down for the reset.

Chopped (part 2)

(part one here)  (frankly you people frighten me)  (@edielovespie demanded more)

TED: And we’re back for the entree round.  Please open your baskets.  You must construct an unforgettable entree using live monarch butterflies, chocolate sandwich cookies, vegan tenderloin, and hubcap.  You have thirty minutes.  Clock starts now.

MADAGASCAR: The judges were really nice to me in spite of the blood in the first round, so I need to step it up if I want to continue.  I get the cream filling out of the cookies and put the cookie part aside for a crostini later.

ANGELA: The tenderloin tastes kind of like pork, so I get some fish sauce and oranges and cornstarch from the pantry to get it coated for an Asian-inspired Kung Pao technique.

JUDGE AARON: Now, the real challenge in this basket are those live butterflies.  They are poisonous in every way, especially the wings, which are brightly-colored as nature’s warning sign.

JUDGE SCOTT: I was thinking the hard part would be the cookies, it’s got that double sweetness that has to be balanced just right in a dish containing tenderloin of vegan.

BILL: I overhear the judges talking about butterfly wings, so I spread them on top of my tenderloin like a puff pastry.  Gonna make a Wellington.  We do that a lot at my restaurant, though honestly I never thought to put it with a hubcab.

TED: Fifteen minutes remaining.

ANGELA: I’m hacking at the hubcap with my carving knife, but I just can’t seem to crack it open.  I know the center of these things is a rich, creamy sort of muscle like a scallop, and I’m hoping to use it like a surf-n-turf pairing.

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

ANGELA: I look over and I see that the fryer wasn’t even turned on!  My cutlets are ruined, and I’m so short on time I can’t start over.  I throw the bits onto the grill and hope the’ll cook in time.

MADAGASCAR: I grate some of the hubcap into the sauce to give it some brightness.  It’s turning this really shiny metallic grey, not very appetizing.  Meanwhile, my spring rolls are ready to roll up but these aren’t the kind of wrappers I’m used to.  I think they’re made of, like, rice or something?

BILL: I’m watching the time just slip away, and I hope my Wellington isn’t overdone.  They really didn’t give us a lot of tenderloin for this round.  (laughs) Maybe they’re all from the same vegan? (laughing stops, sudden realization dawns)

TED: And this is your last minute!  Finish what you can and get it one the plate!

(small fire erupts behind Angela)

MADAGASCAR: MY COOKIES!

TED: And five (Madagascar throwing spring rolls onto a square dish) four (Bill frantically just pulling the tenderloin out of the oven) three (Angela drops one of her cutlets on the floor, swears) two (Bill delicately spooning something wet and pearly onto the plate) one, please step back. (Madagascar throws both hands in the air)

ANGELA: This is probably not my best work, but it’s so important that I make my parents proud, it has to be good enough.

MADAGASCAR: I’m looking at the other dishes and it’s pretty clear nobody knew what to do with a hubcap.

BILL: (says nothing, frowning with growing concern at the bloodied paper that held the vegan tenderloin)

TED: Chef Bill, please describe what you made.

BILL: Um…Well it’s monarch-wrapped tenderloin in the Wellington style, with a sandwich cookie sauce and served in a hubcap.  I’ve never worked with imitation meat before, haha.

JUDGE AARON: Imitation?

JUDGE SCOTT: I like that you used the cookies as a chocolaty sauce, it sort of lends a mole flavor to things, or would if you had seasoned it differently.  The butterflies add a lot of bitterness, though that might be the poison starting to wreck my body.

JUDGE ALEX: Mine’s a little undercooked?  But I like the chocolate as well, inspired.

TED: Chef Madagascar.

MADAGASCAR: Before you I have a vegan tenderloin spring roll, with a pickled arugula and butterfly salad and a chocolate hubcap dipping sauce.

JUDGE AARON: There are so many flavors here.

JUDGE ALEX: The butterflies add a nice crunch, I like that you pickled them and really used their toxicity to your advantage, but I kind of think this isn’t enough to call an entree.  It’s more of an appetizer.

TED: And finally, chef Angela.

ANGELA: I’ve made for you an oil-braised and grilled tenderloin, with a ginger hubcap cream sauce and a red wine chocolate cookie crumble.

JUDGE SCOTT: You’re the only one who used the inner muscle of the hubcap.  This is the most perfectly cooked hubcap I’ve ever had, but (pokes at it with fork) I just don’t like the seasonings.

TED: Angela, what would winning mean to you?

ANGELA: My parents made it pretty clear they didn’t approve of my love of cooking when I came out to them as a chef when I was thirteen.  Until that time we had been a strictly food-free household.  I guess winning would prove to them that I’m doing what I truly love.

TED: Chefs, please give us a minute to deliberate. (chefs file out of the kitchen)

All I can think of is that creamy seafood center.

(In the sweat room)

BILL: Does anyone else think the vegan tenderloin wasn’t actually for vegans but made of vegan?

ANGELA: Cow is vegan.

BILL: Yeah but what happened to Gooseberry?

MADAGASCAR: I think it could go any way here.  We all made pretty great-looking dishes.

MADAGASCAR: It’s going to be me.  Bill’s freaking out and Angela’s a wuss.

BILL: I have to win this.  Whatever I said before, now I have to just so I can go home and tell my wife I love her.  I…don’t feel safe.

(the chefs reconvene in front of the judges)

(DRAMATIC MUSIC)

(TED PULLS AWAY THE COVER TO REVEAL ANGELA’S DISH, MORE MUSIC)

TED: Chef Angela, you’ve been chopped.  Be well.

BILL: Angela…I’m so sorry.

ANGELA: I know my parents are proud of me anyway. (leaves down the hall)

TED: Two chefs remaining!  Who will take home the ten thousand dollar prize in the dessert round, and WHO (Bill sweating) WILL (Madagascar folds arms defiantly) BE (close up on exactly how much Bill is sweating) CHOPPED?

asianregret  asked:

Oh hey, this isn't my actual third question but I was thinking. I'll pick my cupcakes because there's too many characters (Jodi, Jules, Lena, and Lucy) But since we're on the Hogwarts express right now, what would their patronus be and/or what would they see in the Mirror of Erised?

You think I would have had an easy go at this since I thought so much about it while working on my Hogwarts Analysis. But instead… Hi, my name is Brittane and I spent about 6-8 collective hours considering patronal forms for four (4) characters. Despite the shorter length of this analysis this was important and I am very particular okay?! Here we go!

The Rambling Thinky Thoughts of Brittane Presents: Patronus and Desires

…Patronus and Desires?? That sounds like a soap opera… I’m keeping it.

Jodi Rutherford

Originally posted by missmisanthropic

Patronus: Rabbit
Rabbits are creatures that are representative of love and affection, family, luck, creativity, nurturing and happiness. We know that Jodi is definitely a romantic and her love for Kobus and loyalty to her new friends/family is very important to her. She knew that they were all the source of her newfound happiness. She gets along with everyone she meets and she is definitely creative! Look at what she was able to orchestrate with everyone on the Willemse farm! Yes. Definitely a rabbit.

Erised Reflection: Herself and Family
I think before Jodi traveled/moved to South Africa she probably would have seen herself on a grand stage accepting an award for best actress. However, clearly her wants and view on life changed because of her experience there. They say that if you are the happiest you could be, you see yourself as you are in the Mirror of Erised. Jodi has finally found her place in life. She is content right where she is. So I think she would have seen herself with Kobus and Bliksem. Can’t forget the puppy!

Jules Daly

Originally posted by kathiemcgrath-blog

Patronus: Otter
Otters are known for their spontaneity, positive and joyous energy, and playfulness. This lil Hufflepuff possesses those qualities in spades. Jules exudes happiness and is always trying to make sure those around her are smiling and enjoying life. It shows in her interactions with her friends, the kids, and Ashton every day – When she isn’t chasing them down to avoid the next disaster, that is.

Erised Reflection: Her sister
Jules misses her sister more than anything. She talks to her when she is sad or afraid. She thinks of her constantly and sees her in her niece and nephew. If Jules could have her sister back or see her one last time, that would be everything to her.

Lena Luthor

Originally posted by suprcorp

Patronus: Hawk
Originally I wanted to say a Phoenix. You know, to be poetic – rising from the ashes and what not, yeah? But I talked myself out of it because I didn’t like the idea of a mythological creature as a patronus. I KNOW we are talking about glowing magical illusions but just love me okay!? The hawk is more than a bird of prey/raptor. They represent companionship, intelligence, humility, rebirth, strategy and honesty. They are excellent problem-solvers and very loyal. See where I am going here? Lena may look sharp and pointy but she is very loving, loyal and soft at heart and values her relationship with Kara. The notion of rebirth ties into the phoenix element and ties in perfectly with her love of white plumerias and orchids. See? I made it work!

Erised Reflection: Kara, Lex, and Her Biological Mother
Ouch my feels! This took me a while because we have been wondering for a great part of the season what Lena really wants (other than Kara’s hand in marriage that is). She wants to do good in the world and she hopes that people will recognize that. Concurrently, she isn’t doing it for notoriety or recognition. She just wants to do the right thing – right her family’s wrongs. So really what could she see in the reflection that wouldn’t be her receiving high praise for being a ‘Good Luthor’? It won’t work.

Lena once told us that when Lex showed his true colors it crushed her. More than anything she wanted to bring him back to the side of good. She wanted her big brother back! She knows what he did was awful and she has accepted that he is a bad person. But that doesn’t mean if she could change things and have the old Lex back, she wouldn’t do it. I think Lena just wants love, acceptance, tolerance and family. Three things that she has always had in her mom, Lex and Kara. Please enjoy your daily dose of pain. It’s on me.

Lucy Westenra

Originally posted by madqirl

Patronus: Butterfly
So sweet, so graceful, so beautiful, so feminine! Am I talking about the butterfly or Lucy? Trick question! I’m referring to both. Lucy is the epitome of classic femininity, beauty, and elegance. Though the symbolic meaning that really drew me in was that of transition. We meet Lucy at a time where she is definitely experiencing a shift in her life. She is realizing a great deal about herself, coping and trying to come to terms with it all. Butterflies also represent vulnerability and Lucy experiences this a lot when baring her soul to both the Lady Jayne and Mina.

Erised Reflection: Mina and Herself
Mina is the love of Lucy’s life. Despite the pain of rejection and the terrible mistake of Lucy’s betrayal, she really just wants to be with Mina. At this point, Lucy would just want Mina to remain her life. I think that even if she had to spend several lifetimes dealing with an unrequited love, as long as she could wake up knowing that Mina still cared for her, she would be happy. One can only imagine how their lives would have been turned upside down if Mina ever learned the truth about what Grayson did to Lucy. I like to imagine that after a while it would have brought Lucy a step closer to what she wanted. Second dose of pain, on the house.

Ta-da! That wasn’t too long was it? Hope you enjoyed it! And as always, thanks for the ask!

‘13 Reasons Why’ Goes Above and Beyond Its Genre

There is a certain aura around teen dramas that repels even the smallest sprinkle of interest I could possibly give to it. I tend to stay away and look down on shows airing on CW or MTV simply by the mere fact that I’d rather spend my attention elsewhere. The last teen drama I stuck with was “Freaks and Geeks,” and I would watch little snippets of more recent teen dramas here and there, like “Pretty Little Liars” or “Teen Wolf,” purely out of curiosity.  Apart from “Freaks,” there was something I just found so corny about them. But this show I’m going to talk about now really forced me to challenge this stigma.

“13 Reasons Why” is based on the 2007 novel of the same name by Jay Asher, and was adapted by Brian Yorkey for Netflix. It stars Dylan Minnette as Clay Jensen, a reserved high school student who is plunged into a large mystery after the suicide of his friend Hannah Baker, played by Katherine Langford. Prior to her death, Hannah recorded thirteen incriminating tapes, each talking about a particular individual and their impact on her deteriorating livelihood. Clay comes into possession of these tapes and must go through them to bring justice for Hannah’s death.

I normally start a show out of curiosity, but this time I had several people come to me asking what I thought about it. I’ve mentioned above that I dislike shows that stink of the CW/MTV vibe. And sure enough, the first episode was giving me those vibes with an absolutely sub-par soundtrack and rather pretentious narration from Hannah. But I stuck through with this because after the first episode, I was thrown in for a loop and shown that this was absolutely not CW trash.

Nope. This was miles beyond it. I was hooked.

Minnette provides an ironically charming performance as a teenager who is supposed to apparently lack some. He approaches his character with a sense of urgency, and is absolutely perfect for that socially awkward role. But Minnette is only one of several actors, many of whom are relatively unknown apart from small television and short film roles. It’s difficult to single out any of the recurring cast, but if I had to choose, I’d have to shine a light on Brandon Flynn as Justin Foley (subject of the first tape) and Alisha Boe as Jessica Davis (subject of second tape). It might be because apart from Clay and Hannah, we spend the most time with these characters. But Flynn and Boe give immensely powerful performances as these two characters, both in their highest, happiest moments and at their most desperate, despondent stages.

But among all these amazing performances, perhaps the most telling performance from a narrative sense was from Kate Walsh, who plays Hannah’s mother Olivia. The story is told from two points in time, before and after Hannah’s death, and Walsh’s facial cues alone are already a clear distinction of which time period we’re watching. She goes from the typical, high school mother who just wants to be a part of her daughter’s life, to someone who has been damaged, and beaten down by numerous fits of emotion. Her eyes alone tell the whole story of what happened in between.

I’m saving Langford’s performance as Hannah for last because of course she had the heaviest task of all the actors: Going from a sarcastic, fun-loving, carefree high school girl to someone whose spirit is absolutely shattered by being wronged numerous times ad nauseam. Langford does this extremely well, when she’s on-screen that is. I have to mention that because if there were any moments where her performance was less than stellar, it was when she served as the show’s narrator.

And this is where the CW flashbacks come in, because honestly I felt myself getting a bit annoyed at her narration. From a tone that’s unconvincing of a soul-shattered teen, to absolutely pretentious dialogue. And BIG emphasis on “pretentious,” because what nearly got me to drop this show completely was the dialogue every now and then. Episodes would begin with her speechifying pseudo-cryptic epigrams, like “humans are a naturally social species,” or talking about the “butterfly effect.” It’s this level of pretense that drew me away from “Mr. Robot.”

I’ve mentioned a few times that the story is structured in two parts: before and after Hannah’s death. Many times these scenes are juxtaposed, conjoined by the narration of Hannah’s tapes. And much greatly to this show’s credit, the switches from the present to the flashbacks are absolute genius. The creators of this show could have taken the easy route and cut to the past with a slight audio cue, kind of like “Lost.” But nope. They went the extra mile to have the transitions flow, rather than cut. And they flow into each other so seamlessly, with clever distinctions ranging from the color of light shining on the different characters, to aesthetic cues like Clay’s present-time facial scar and Beats by Dre headphones. While the latter is blatant product placement, they also serve to show Clay inserting himself into the past vicariously through Hannah’s tapes. Little details like these really help the story flow much nicer.

As for the story, that might be what kept me from dropping this series. This is a much better story than it has any right to be, whether it be for its genre or its production. While the “one-individual-per-episode” dynamic might be hit-or-miss for some people, it competently – or rather successfully – handles some of the best character development I’ve seen in this genre. You will go from absolutely despising a given character to a complete 180-switch, sympathizing with them. And the thing is many of these characters could easily be one-dimensional, but they went incredibly in-depth to really make you care about their stories. I went from muttering “this shit is so corny” to throwing my hands in the air yelling “Boy don’t do it!”

Apart from a few words, I’ve been praising this show endlessly. But rest assured, I do have some major problems with this. One of them is the character of Tony, played by Christian Navarro. Unlike the other characters, he is not on the tapes, and instead acts as an enabler or a guiding force. He is essentially Hannah’s posthumous right-hand man, the one who is ushering Clay to finish listening to the tapes. His presence in the show started off as secure and reassuring. He would always be the only one who ever knows what’s going on, and wanted nothing more than for Clay to cooperate with Hannah’s wishes. But my problems with him started when the show attempted to flesh his character out as well. His backstory eventually led nowhere, and had no bearing on the actual plot. I’m a sucker for character development, but I feel like his character was better left as a mysterious force, rather than someone we’re supposed to sympathize with as well.

Another problem I had with this was that there are also a few too many moments where Clay’s parents try to connect with him that tend to drag on for quite a long time. What’s sad about this is that it’s probably not within the control of the show’s production. The story of Hannah’s tapes grabs you so effortlessly that the moments where Clay is having a heartfelt talk with his dad and/or mom tend to take the wind out of our sails.

My last two problems are things I can’t talk much about. The ending, because spoilers, and the soundtrack, because what else can I say other than it not appealing to me. I have this theory that all these high school dramas go for a tiny gray area around the vertex of “songs that sound indie” and “songs with relevant lyrics.” Sure enough, this vertex usually meets at the bottom of the barrel.

But I think the most powerful aspect of this show, and what it does better than most shows of its genre, is how much gravity it gives to the heavy subject matter it conveys. Being a Netflix show has worked out immensely in its favor. It will show the roughest scenes absolutely at its core. They don’t downplay or trivialize them. It gets so graphic that it’s even drew inadvertent criticism (my thoughts regarding which potentially in another article). And no, I’m not praising it like a 17 year old who just got to see his first bloody R-rated movie. But it’s usually counterproductive to sugarcoat or water down these difficult, traumatic moments.

For someone who claims to be open-minded and a lover of all media, I was pretty quick to skip this upon hearing that it was a drama that took place in high school. But as I’ve said before, that first episode threw me in for a loop, and I could not stop watching. Sure, this show has pretty significant lulls here and there, particularly in the dialogue, narration and atrocious soundtrack. But this also was one of the few shows that were able to manipulate me, emotionally and mentally. Any show that could make me go from despising a given character to downright tearing up for them deserves a place somewhere on my own personal hall of fame.

pretty much the only reason we sell limburger cheese is so that crusty old coots who are down to their last few teeth can buy it for fish bait

Companion Reactions To: The Butterfly Sword Enchantment

So Mod Katalyna and Mod Sarah were talking about the Butterfly Sword from DA:O and thought, “What if Iron Bull was given the Butterfly Sword?” and it snowballed from there, so here’s our nutty Skype conversation, edited for you all to enjoy. It has spawned a new tag, as well, in the event that this sort of thing happens again (which it probably will, let’s be honest. #mods are cray, after all!).

Dagna: She gets to work immediately on figuring out the enchantment. She wants it so bad. Once she figures it out, she will happily enchant any and everything the Herald wants enchanted with it. But the first thing she does with it (to make sure it works, of course) is enchant Harritt’s favorite hammer. He gets so very mad that she finally agrees to remove the enchantment.

Cassandra: She scoffs in disgust at the enchantment and rolls her eyes when Bull wants to take the Butterfly Sword along. “It’s an eyesore,” she comments, but it doesn’t stop him. If Romanced: the Inquisitor presents to her a rose with the enchantment, and she scoffs, but secretly likes it and keeps it in her room.

Blackwall: He’s kind of put off by it. He thinks it’s not particularly manly. If Romanced: the Inquisitor enchants all of his Grey Warden armor and stuff with the Butterfly enchantment after finding out the truth. He remarks that it’s one way to keep him from using it again, and she snarks that maybe he won’t lie to her again.

Iron Bull: This is the happiest damn qunari in the world; he thinks it’s beautiful. He revels in killing dragons with it. If Romanced: the Inquisitor has Dagna enchant armor made from a dragon they killed for him. He almost starts crying when he sees the Inquisitor’s present to him. “You’re the best, Kadan!” he weeps.

Sera: Sera gets all rights to the enchantment taken away from her because she tries to enchant the ENTIRETY OF SKYHOLD with it. And nearly blows the whole thing up in the process. If Romanced: a romanced Inquisitor enchants their roof on the tavern with it for her, instead. They proceed to bang on it. Multiple times.

Cole: He would like the enchantment because it makes some people really happy. He gives butterfly enchanted things to people when they’re feeling down. Sometimes they’re completely random items, like a bar of soap or part of a broken earring. And sometimes they’re meaningful things to the person, and then the enchantment because an actual, substantial way to help. If Cole is made more human and dates Maryden, he gives her a silk butterfly with the enchantment. She wears it in her hair when she performs.

Varric: He says he’s worried that it’ll attract LITERALLY EVERYTHING hostile to come attack them because it’s so bright. Grumbles every time something with the rainbow butterfly enchantment is used as a result. If he didn’t fear for his life, he’d consider having the backs of Cassandra’s copies of Swords and Shields enchanted with it to troll her. Or maybe just the last page, but he finds a way to hide that the last page is enchanted until she actually turns to the page.

Dorian: He eyes it in disdain and wrinkles his nose at it. If In A Romance With Iron Bull: “It’s so you, Amatus.” he says as dryly as possible. Bull grins and pulls him in for a tight hug. “Thanks, Kadan!” he replies cheerfully. If In A Romance With The Inquisitor: The Inquisitor enchants something naughty with it (like a dildo) and gives it to Dorian as a gift. Or better yet, he enchants a small likeness of Dorian with it! Because this enchantment literally IS Dorian.

Vivienne: She just rolls her eyes. She thinks it’s gaudy. She does her best to avoid it and generally just doesn’t let herself get sucked into all this shit. She’s too Orlesian for this.

Solas: He rolls his eyes because he thinks it’s a dumb enchantment that serves no real purpose other than to be ugly. He stays out of the shenanigans, mostly. Low Approval: the enchantment is mysteriously removed from all of Skyhold periodically. No one is quite sure why or how. It doesn’t stay gone long, of course. If Romanced: The Inquisitor has all of his underwear enchanted with the butterfly enchantment after he breaks up with her. It shines through his pants. If he tries to go commando to avoid the sparkles, everyone knows he’s going commando. Any attempts he makes to get rid of the enchanted underwear and replace it results in the new underwear also receiving the enchantment. He can’t escape it. POST-TRESPASSER: an Inquisitor who romanced Solas and enchants his underwear when he breaks up with her, and says “Var lath vir suledin,” to him in Trespasser returns to her room at some point to find something of hers that had personal meaning between the two of them (like one of his paint brushes or something) has mysteriously been given the butterfly enchantment. And she laughs through her tears because it means he’s watching out for her and he still loves her. (Mod Katalyna says: “Let me rip out your heart, Fenris style!”)

Leliana: She gets a hood for Dagna to enchant and gives it to agents who fail missions. It comes to be called “the hood o’ shame.”

Josephine: She likes it and gets like a teacup enchanted to be sparkly and spawning imaginary butterflies. Or her inkwell. Or both. If Romanced: The Herald gives her a sparkly rainbow butterfly rose, and she giggles endlessly and keeps it on her desk where she greets dignitaries. When people ask about it, she blushes. And if the Inquisitor is there at the time, they just kiss her blushing cheek and neither of them explains a thing.

Cullen: He spends a long time trying to ignore all the butterfly shit. When his soldiers start getting their swords enchanted, he has to put his foot down. It is so unsubtle that he can’t allow it because it risks lives. But he has to relent and allow the practice blades to be enchanted with it because the soldiers grumble about it. Morale goes up. If Romanced: The Inquisitor enchants a tiny pebble with it and leaves it somewhere in his office, just to mess with him. And he throws it out his window. So she replaces it and makes it harder to get at. It gets thrown out the window, too. Eventually, there’s a small mountain of these fucking pebbles on the mountainside outside Cullen’s window. He starts to look out his window at this mini mountain of butterfly pebbles while she’s away and miss her, hoping she’s safe. She’d always leave one just before she left on a mission. He’d keep it on his desk (once he located the damn thing) until she got back, at which point he would make a show of throwing it from the battlements to land at her feet. All her companions would tease her about it as they approach the bridge into Skyhold. “Look out, Inquisitor, Cullen has it in for your feet!”

Krem: He sees the sword before Bull does and thinks “Oh NO, when the Chief sees this…” He tries to hide, but of course, when Bull sees it, he easily finds him in desire to show him. “KREM, COME CHECK OUT THIS BADASS SWORD OVER HERE!” And he’s stuck listening to Bull coo over a rainbow sword for the next three weeks straight. Krem knows Bull is gonna be sighing over (and probably sexually stroking) that sword for weeks, and he just doesn’t want to deal with it and tries to run away but can’t escape.

BONUS:

If you capture Florianne instead of killing her, part of her punishment (no matter what you decide to do with her) is to always be wearing something with this enchantment. Because it is so completely not fashionable, and for no other reason.

Corifypiss appears written in the butterfly enchantment on Venatori correspondence that makes its way to Corypheus (or his general) courtesy of Sera, Leliana, and Dagna.