taking the joke too far

anonymous asked:

I'm sorry but I think you're taking this way too far. Rhett made a joke that y'all blew out of proportion. It's just as disrespectful to guess someone's sexuality as it is to guess someone's mental health.

That’s just like, your opinion, man.

I’ve already talked about this so I won’t repeat myself. Just read this post here.

Well, what are you assuming, anon? You think we’re wrong to think Rhett could be bi, surely you must think something too. Do you think he’s straight? If so, I’ve talked about how it’s problematic to assume someone is straight and the toxic nature of the “straight by default mentality”. So go ahead and read that.

I’m just going to state my opinion of assuming sexuality; to say that it’s disrespectful to think of someone as not straight is to say that a queer identity is something bad and shameful. There is nothing wrong with thinking Rhett might be bi. Because there is nothing wrong with being bi. I’d also say that equating sexuality and mental health is very problematic. I know that in Sweden in 1979, people would call in sick and say they were just too gay to come to work. It was a protest against gay being considered an illness. I sure do hope we’ve come further than conflating queer sexuality and mental illness by now, don’t you, anon?


For anyone who doesn’t think like anon here and want to join in on the fun that is the world of headcanons;  Fill my ask box with your bi!Rhett headcanons!

the signs as people i’ve known

aries: passionate verging on obsessive.  defensive of both themselves and the people they love.  few layers; what you see is more or less what you get.  good-hearted, intelligent.  always up for a challenge, but becomes stressed out very easily and handles stress very poorly.  even when they’re tired, they somehow seem so alert and two steps ahead of you.  responsible.  they prefer to lead and lead very well.  interesting, competitive, loyal.  although they like to be correct and love to prove people wrong, more than anything they just want someone to listen and expand on their point, not disagree with it. romantic but they like to pretend that they aren’t.  they seek instant gratification and hate doing things that they’re not naturally great at (but they’re naturally great at a lot).  can be very self-absorbed, but it’s not conscious.  so loving and so lovely.  the yang to my yin, the storm to my calm.  a friend who completes me.

taurus: extremely nice, and they never want to hurt anybody’s feelings, so they tend to skirt around the truth or omit their opinion.  truly, genuinely kind, the sort of person you hope will always stay in your life, the sort of person you feel like you really need.  dependable, hardworking, stable.  they have been through a lot, but looking at them, you wouldn’t know it.  will ultimately put themselves before you (which is a good thing), but is always there for you when they can be. very realistic; they know what they can achieve and expect themselves to do so.  private to a fault, and doesn’t usually express their feelings. there is something about their soul that makes me smile whenever i think of them. one of the people i love most in this world.  my equal, the friend who i hope knows how much i love them.

gemini: endlessly charming, supportive, and brave.  always wants to make everyone happy, often at the expense of their own desires, so they’ll do things they don’t want to do but be kind of grouchy about it, leading others to believe that they are picky and that they change their mind too much.  frequently changes the details of a story to either make it more interesting or get out of trouble.  wants more than anything to see and experience the good in the world but is very often a victim of the bad.  overly-trusting.  they can make any experience memorable, and they are the most fun you’ll ever have. quite self-critical but they also know that they have a certain power over people. forgetful, tolerant, warm.  often feels quite overwhelmed and may not handle this feeling wisely.  crazy but kind.  the one whom words fail to describe.  the biggest piece of my heart, my mother.

cancer: both friendly and intimidating.  difficult to read.  patient and cooperative but more often than not, they think their idea/opinion is better than yours.  very, very smart.  super dependable, so sensitive, hold grudges like it’s their life’s calling. courageous.  behave very differently around authority figures, likes being seen as innocent and cute. they will keep your secrets but they will kind of hold them over you, and they tend to taunt others by saying, “i know [x] about [y] and you don’t.”  very funny, dark, and sarcastic once you get to know them, but initially sweet and sugary.  survivalists; they protect themselves first and their loved ones second and don’t really care about everyone else. friendly. once they’re in a relationship, they become rather absorbed by it and neglect the other parts of their life.  dramatic, obsessive. rather strong-willed.  when they’re having an off day, get out of their way.  they will never forget anything you tell them.  they see life as an inside joke.  my figurative fraternal twin.  the friend who is just like me but whom i’ll never understand.

leo: impressively loving, astonishingly generous, the whole universe in one person.  soft and loud, wild and cautious.  they are full of power, grace, and energy, and they awaken within you the sense that you are good and that you can do whatever you want to do. even when they’re quiet, their presence is felt. very self-critical, constantly questioning their worth. always in need of validation, which is why they like to be the center of attention; in order to know that they’re a star, they require a standing ovation. they want to love themselves, they need to love themselves. such a romantic, wants to be wooed and adored, and they’ll gladly return the favor.  soothing.  they are so easy to trust, but they are more careful with their own secrets than they seem. they love with every bone in their body.  they want, more than anything, a best friend. loyal, inventive, go-getters. great listeners.  can somehow empathize with every situation, but are mildly obsessed with themselves. love winning. my idol, the part of myself i hope i grow into, my aunt.

virgo: hilarious, dependable, treats you like their kid.  trustworthy, sympathetic. they are fascinating and unique, but they are too attached to their own magic. more obsessive than they like to think they are.  they take criticism very well, perhaps because they dish it out even better. level-headed but aspirational. they prefer to be the less loving one in all of their relationships.  feels guilty for feeling sad or emotional. curious and interested.  can talk for hours if you let them.  kind and smart, wants to be special and different from everyone else. treats the people closest to them the worst. believes in tough love.  loves to joke and be sarcastic but usually takes it a few steps too far.  perfectionistic, which leads them to put little effort into things that they feel they can’t do flawlessly.  the one i protect who thinks they’re protecting me.  the friend whom i loved right away.

libra: angelic, enchanting, sweet.  picky. they are so afraid of offending someone that they have to know someone really likes them before they’ll be honest with them.  so many layers.  funny and diligent. treats everyone like their best friend, but when you are their best friend, there is just something so slightly different about how they treat you, something that makes you feel amazing. good at everything.  completely unable to make decisions. gossipers. they want to like everyone, but they just don’t.  absolutely hates saying no, but will do it if it’s 100% necessary.  sleepy and goofy around people they love. works hard to look good, trendy.  smart, fair.  nervous around authority figures. fearful of loss and of growing up.  secret control freaks.  they are at once youthful and wise.  crazy patient on the outside, just crazy on the inside. always somewhere on my mind, the one who i was always meant to know. my very best friend, my soul’s sister.

scorpio: the best listener. truly wants to know everything about you. extremely devoted, passionate.  knows you very, very well.  so funny, so kind.  will stick with you through thick and thin, always on your side.  gives great advice. the person across the room who you can’t stop staring at.  secretive, fearful, romantic.  both observant and judgmental. will hate you for judging them while they judge you.  their heart is bigger than anyone else’s, and all they really want is to fill it to its brim with love. very often the sidekick, but they stand out to me. they are quite obsessive and they rarely wait for explanations. they want to own the people they love.  intuitive.  loves you soooo much.  impossible to know fully. deep, powerful. the ocean flows inside them, yet all too often that ocean is stormy.  the person many people think i am, the person i sometimes i wish i was.  my confidante, my partner in crime, my heart, my friend.

sagittarius: the most supportive and dependable person on the planet.  an amazing friend, the best person to have in your corner.  honest and disorganized, friendly and capable.  very quick to anger and has a hard time admitting they’re wrong.  devotes themselves wholly and completely to their partner and puts them on a pedestal, but once they’ve moved on, they’ve really moved on.  tends to succeed, lucky.  has a hard time seeing the truth of a situation and often must be told what’s really going on.  charismatic and caring, overly generous.  can spread themselves thin.  guided chiefly by morals which they never abandon.  has a strong sense of right and wrong (specifically, they’re right, you’re wrong).  my backbone, my other mother.

capricorn: pensive and stoic.  has a brain that never stops going.  they wake up every morning in the climax of a novel they’ve written in their sleep.  loyal, just, intimidating.  cold and private.  mean to people who are mean to them.  shuts down entirely for seemingly no reason.  the wisest of all.  mature.  silently romantic. victim of their thoughts.  intense, original.  they want someone to fall really deeply in love with them, but they close themselves off to everyone. admires the beauty of the world, moved by small details that many people miss. always thinking of the future, no matter how good the present is.  judgmental. wants to be better than everyone else. exceptionally smart. often falling apart on the inside.  can think themselves into sickness, into joy, into anything. loves to be alone, hates more than anything to be lonely.  soft on the inside. the best leaders but they don’t like to lead.  kind-hearted and always doubting it. immensely fatalistic.  the dreamy head behind my eyes.  myself.

aquarius: very patient.  analytical, detached.  they have favorite people and things and they will be honest about who and what these favorites are.  they love you, they just can’t tell you.  wants to be cared for without caring in return. easy to talk to, somehow always makes you feel safe.  impressive intellect. generous with the people they love.  genuinely good, inspiring.  easily overwhelmed.  resorts to humor when offended.  doesn’t try very hard to act like they like someone they hate.  wants to be special.  artificially nice to authority figures.  can be surprisingly mean without intending to.  very good liars.  super funny.  compliments mean a lot coming from them.  the person i forget i am, the friend i should talk to more.

pisces: kind-hearted, funny.  to really know them, you kind of have to know them forever.  so easy to love.  hates to think about the difficulties of the world and prefers to just have fun.  very much in the present and tries not to think about the future.  as such, they sometimes behave without thinking and wind up messing things up for themselves.  they tend to be kind of lazy in regards to some things and extremely passionate in regards to others; there isn’t a lot of balance.  can be very mean and very angry.  won’t apologize first when you’ve made them mad. must express themselves in some way.  no matter how much they say that they love you, they always love you more than that.  quite sensitive, hates few things more than being called annoying. super generous, always wants to be there for you but hates not being able to make you happier. truly the sweetest. my favorite person, my brother.

circling the atmosphere

Part 2 of @vldangstweek: March 19th-Failure/Insecurity


Lance isn’t stupid.

He knows, alright. He knows he talks a lot. He knows he’s loud. He knows his voice grates, he knows he’s too exuberant, too desperate to be friends. He knows he wears his heart on his sleeve and shows it all too fast, too freely. He knows he’s just too much for people.

(That doesn’t stop him from wishing, though.)

He tries, sometimes. To be quieter, to be calmer, to be…less. He tries so goddamn hard, but it doesn’t matter because he always, always ends up reverting back to his regular self anyway. It doesn’t seem to matter what his intentions are, he always says the wrong thing, always takes a joke too far. It’s clear he just don’t know when to shut up.

(He can’t actually remember anyone telling him that in so many words, but it’s pretty clear that people think it, from the way they stop talking when he walks in a room, to how in group projects his suggestions are ignored, to his just total and complete inability to make lasting, meaningful relationships with people that last longer than a month before he’s inevitably replaced. He doesn’t blame anyone for it, though. It’s fine. He doesn’t really like himself, either, so it’s not a surprise when others don’t.)

Of course, that doesn’t make it hurt any less when he sees it happen. He’s still not really surprised, though, as he watches Hunk drift further away and get closer to Pidge and Keith. Sure, he’d…well, he’d hoped, for a while, and after the Garrison, where Hunk stuck pretty close to him, back when Pidge didn’t really want anything to do with them, he’d thought that maybe…but it didn’t matter.

He’s glad that Hunk’s finding people he cares about, who care about him in return, who don’t always say the wrong thing and make matters worse. If Hunk is happy, then Lance can’t begrudge him that. Pidge has been happier, too—more prone to smiling or making jokes, and less afraid to squeal over new tech she finds. How selfish would someone have to be to be bitter about that?

(About as selfish as Lance is, he’s discovered.)

Still, no matter how much it hurts, it’s still a relief, of a sort, to know that he was right. He hates not knowing what’s going to happen, and even though this whole situation really sucks and he might feel a bit like his chest is being crushed and his hands won’t stop shaking and his stomach feels sick and it’s late at night and he’s crying and he just can’t stop and it’s hard to breathe, at least he knows that he was right.

He’s a placeholder, you see. One of those characters in a show that exists only to serve as an old childhood friend that’s mentioned maybe once in a flashback and never again. Sometimes, when he looks at his life, as he sees everyone drawing away, he feels like he’s watching a movie—one he can interact with in some capacity, but not such that he has a lasting effect on the plot.

(It’s literally never occurred to him that when these people on his team and even his family tell him they care about him they mean it, because he while he can see how deeply they care for each other, it seems like a physical example of that old ‘sounds fake but okay’ meme from when his grandparents were young whenever they try to pretend to direct any affection towards him. It’s pretty clear they’re making it up as soon as they feel they’ve satisfied their daily quota, anyway.)

Lance is, and always has been, an afterthought. An “oh wow it might be awkward for just the two of us to hang out since I haven’t seen you in six months—maybe we should invite Lance, too, because he hung out with us back when we were all still living near each other and is pretty good at just spewing out enough words to keep it from being awkward” kind of thought. He doesn’t expect people to think of him, to try to reach out. He’s used to being the one to reach out, to try to get together, to reminding people that he exists.

Most days, that’s okay.

(Well. It’s not, but if it’s all he’ll get, then Lance will take it.)

Most days, when he watches people he hoped would care about him slip away, he can ignore it and move on.

(He can’t, he never could, but he lies to himself all the same.)

Right now, though? Right now, watching Hunk—Lance’s favorite person in the entire universe—draw away from him and grow closer to Pidge, who’s only rarely showed any sort of affection towards Lance, hurts more than he’d ever expected it could.

He can take Shiro not liking him. He can take Keith not caring about him. He can take Pidge’s annoyance, Allura’s dismissal, Coran’s lack of attention—Lance can take a lot.

He thought he’d be able to take when Hunk inevitably left, too.

(Clearly, he was wrong. Again.)

Maybe he’s not as smart as he’d thought, after all.

(If he was, then maybe he’d know what he needed to fix to get people to stay.)

(That’s the worst part, he thinks. He could at least try, and see if that helped any, if only he knew what it was about him that chased people off—it could be one of a thousand things, or it could be all of the thousand things, and Lance just does not know.)

But in the meantime, he’ll get up and smile and pretend it’s fine and he’ll watch as Hunk and Pidge spend more time together, and he’ll draw back and maybe this time the mice won’t scurry out of the room, and maybe he’ll at least have them for company.

(He just wants someone to stay, but he doesn’t blame anyone for leaving.)

Our story begins not long ago…

There was a badass young woman savvy to the seas and head of a band of pirates.
Her name was Tetra. She was pretty, cool and brave.
Tetra and her totally radical pirates set out to explore the vast and unfamiliar seas.

One day on a stop at a boring old island, Tetra met a young boy with an awesome fashion sense.
After a series of strange events, the two began traveling together…

They found old ruins, and light enveloped Tetra.

At once she was whitewashed transformed into a beautiful princess.
Her lineage traced back to an ancient, ruined kingdom.
She was Princess Zelda of the Kingdom of Hyrule.

Just then, a huge, uncool king appeared!
He carried Princess Zelda away…
The evil king sought the awesomeness passed down to Hyrulian princesses.
He schemed to take the swag and use it himself.
The boy chased after him, determined to save the princess…

The boy crossed seas and climbed mountains. The journey was intense.
He slayed evil monsters and used their power to become a true hero.
After long and hard adventuring, he defeated the king.
And radical Princess Zelda was rescued at last.

Later, the two set out with the brave pirate crew in search of new lands…
Yes, they set sail together!
An awesome pirate ending!

the song mad world was created specifically for lesbians who have to sit through straight girls ranking actors by their level of attractiveness. i can appreciate men aesthetically but giving any man named chris a score higher than 6/10 is taking things too far

Which member of your OTP:

1. Acts like they’re dying when they have a cold.
2. Gets mad at the TV and throws the remote.
3. Gets the worst road rage.
4. Spends too much time in the bathroom on their phone.
5. Packs the whole closet for an overnight trip.
6. Hates the in-laws.
7. Hits the snooze button…11 times.
8. Makes the other late for work.
9. Uses the television as a babysitter.
10. Takes in the stray dog.
11. Suggests a 3am trip to McDonald’s.
12. Leaves their shoes out for the other to trip over.
13. Can’t make up their mind when it comes to dinner.
14. Needs to be reminded of all their appointments.
15. Bribes the other into doing chores, getting out of the house…and taking a shower.
16. Picks the movies.
17. Takes the safety steps when building a pillow fort.
18. Kisses the other’s injuries better.
19. Is addicted to angry birds, game of war, candy crush, temple run, or flappy bird.
20. Kills the spiders.
21. Hogs the blankets.
22. Takes pranks too far.
23. Makes the dirty jokes.
24. Keeps a piggy bank.
25. Has no problem having ice cream for breakfast.
26. Gets a tattoo when they’re drunk.
27. Trips over their own feet.
28. Makes the other go for a walk.
29. Whines until they get what they want.
30. Tries to act tough but really isn’t.
31. Talks the most, says the least.
32. Talks the least, says the most.

ROAD TRIP AU (made with the help of @nonbinaryevanhansen, @thisiswhatmylifeamountsto, @dr-evn-hnsn, and other bros from the DEH discord chat)

  • The Gang™ decides to have a road trip–one last big hurrah–before they go their separate ways to their respective jobs/graduate programs. 
  • Alana is in charge of planning because she doesn’t mind phone calls, can be trusted to not spend more than they’ve budgeted, and is generally more responsible than the rest. She has a spreadsheet with every aspect of the trip planned–right down to what rest stops they can stop at for people to stretch their legs or use the restroom. She has a color coded binder containing the menus of the restaurants they’re going to eat at, the brochures for the tourist destinations they’re stopping at, and the receipts for all of their reservations; she also has a copy of the itinerary for everyone. Two copies for Jared because…he’s Jared.
  •  Zoe is the deejay. While she’s procrastinating from studying for finals, because Zoe has senioritis even though she’s not even technically in her last year of college yet, she makes dozens of playlists that are specific for every different road trip mood. One is named “For When Connor Starts Being an Asshole and We Need to Drown Him Out” and another is aptly titled “Weird Tree Noises to Calm Evan Down.” She’s the only one allowed to use the aux chord and she has to keep a close eye on it because Jared’s constantly looking for an opportunity to rick roll the caravan.
  • Connor is the driver. Not because he’s a particularly good driver, but because he’s pulled enough all nighters in his day that he doesn’t mind driving through the night as Alana requires for some parts of the trip. Even when he gets sleepy, he just has to put on Zoe’s “Please Don’t Fall Asleep at the Wheel and Kill Us All” mix and he’s good to go for another six hours. When Jared tries to call shotgun, Connor tells him “if I have to sit beside you all day, I’m going to drive us off a bridge.”
  • Evan gets shotgun. He spends most of the time playing eye spy with Connor– “I spy with my little eye something green” “Evan could you please pick something that isn’t a tree for the love of God”–or reading wikipedia articles on the various trees they come across. He doles out the caprisuns and individual bags of doritos and lays potato chips that they stock up on whenever they find a Wal-Mart that’s reasonably close to the interstate. When they make stops, he’s the one wearing the fanny pack with the tiny fan, travel-sized sunscreen, bug spray wipes, and extra bandaids in it.
  • Jared is…well, Jared. He’s relegated to the back seat with Alana and Zoe and he’s bored as hell. Alana spends their car time going over the itinerary and reading guide books and Zoe alternates between staring out the window while listening to music on her phone and playing Candy Crush on her phone. Jared tries to help her out by telling her what to do, but she mostly ignores him, much to his distress. At one point, he swipes her phone because “Zoe you’ve been at it for an hour this is getting embarrassing” and nearly gets mauled by Zoe in her attempts to get her phone back. Alana is the only thing between him and certain death at that point. He also smuggles a lot of contraband snacks on board in his backpack and suitcase and refuses to share despite having more chips and soda than any single person could/should consume. 

Keep reading

All My Friends Are Heathens, Pt.8

Summary: In an alternate universe where monsters roam freely among humans, eight of these creatures group together under one roof. Their newest member, a dark vampire, comes to meet their reoccurring house guest who may be more than what she seems.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader
Word Count: 1601
Genre: AU
Warnings: Mentions of blood, sexual content.
A/N: This wraps up a very Heathens filled weekend, thank you lovely people for sticking with me! Not sure when I’ll be posting it but just a heads up that pt.9 is going to be the final installment for this series! The song Gold by Eurielle was definitely being played during the writing process for this part so thanks @gondorgirl01 for recommending it to me months ago! And of course, Heathens by Twenty One Pilots because always. (gif credit)

Click HERE for more character information

** The links in this part don’t seem to be working even after I’ve tried fixing them. Sorry loves! **

| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9

[ previously ]

He was distracted from his thoughts when you shifted positions. The thin strap of your nightgown slid from your shoulder and exposed the curves of your breasts pushing against the silky material. Subconsciously, he ran his tongue over his fangs as he imagined biting into the soft mounds. A wicked thought crossed his mind and his eyes turned to coal as he slowly stepped forward. The only light in the room came from the moon shining through the windows and now the ominous glow emitting from his dark limb as he waved it as his side. He smirked when you started to react. I’ll start making it up to you, doll. You’re in for a long night.

[ Night of the full moon ]

It was almost midnight and the last glimmer of hope for seeing Bucky was flickering out. You wanted to scream into your pillow. Hell, you wanted to scream at Bucky for taunting you and leaving you alone all day. He had a taste of you but just the same, you had a taste of him. The feeling of having his teeth sunken into the flesh of your neck was intoxicating. He was gentle and feverish at the same time. Slow but hungry and aching for more yet still maintaining control. You wanted to feel it again. Craving the sensation just as much as he craved the blood.

You didn’t realize you had drifted to sleep, too exhausted from your frustrations and hoping to put this whole mess behind you. You woke when you felt it again; your skin was tingling and warming up until you couldn’t take it anymore and yanked the sheets away. Images started flashing through your mind as you tossed and turned. You could see yourself interacting with Clint, then Sam and Tony and the rest of your friends but the scenes were different somehow. Soon you realized that you were watching from someone else’s point of view. You could feel their internal struggle, their own frustrations and tensions building every time you came into view. Any doubts were laid to rest when the visions started showing a conversation with Steve. These were Bucky’s memories. You listened as he talked about his sensitivity towards you being somehow amplified all day. You could actually feel it and it was so much more intense than you could ever have imagined. Finally, you listened as Steve explained his foolish ‘plan’.

“I’m gonna kick his ass when I find him,” you muttered through gritted teeth at the thought of your innocent Steve lying to you.

Now you were awake and struggling to find any relief against the heat. Images from that night out on the balcony starting running through your mind, amping up the intensity. Your hands started to roam up and down the length of your body, pawing at the silk material that barely covered your figure. Cupping your breasts, you could feel your nipples hardening beneath your palms. The pleasure kept building as your hands traveled lower, reaching under the lace fabric that was now soaked through. A moan tore through you as your fingers started rubbing the aching bundle of nerves. Your breath was coming out in heavy shallow pants as you were getting closer and closer. Taking your last bit of composure before completely letting go, you called out for him desperately. “Bucky, haven’t you teased me enough! Where are you?”

An eerie glow appeared at the end of your bed, floating closer to you until you shivered with a familiar chill. Bucky was smiling wickedly as he continued to wave his left hand at his side. Your own fingers started rubbing more feverishly, in sync with his. His voice was so low that you almost couldn’t hear it over the sound of your heaving breaths but you felt it all around you. “I’m right here, doll. Let go.” You looked into his coal-black eyes as you felt your climax finally hit you.

Shaking and steadily floating back down to Earth again, you managed to prop yourself up on your elbows to get a better look at the vampire at the end of edge of your bed. “Oh, you’re a bad man.” You smirked, still trying to catch your breath.

His mouth hung open, fangs exposed as he inhaled the scent of your sweat and arousal. “You could have just talked to me, Bucky. You didn’t have to be all cryptic and dramatic all day.” You lifted yourself off of the mattress and crawled to the foot of the bed, closer to him.

A few seconds passed in silence before Bucky was able to reply, allowing the darkness time to dissipate and his eyes to turn back into that pale shade of blue. “I know. I’m sorry, doll. I’ve never really felt like this so I didn’t know what to do,” he admitted. “I took Steve’s advice and played it safe.” He looked sincere as he sat down in the spot beside you.

You scoffed at his answer but smiled anyways. “Bucky, when was the last time Steve got laid?”

He thought for a moment. Steve wasn’t exactly a lady’s man despite his charm and good looks. Half the time he was painfully shy, the other half he was awkward and fidgety and would shapeshift midway through the conversation because of his nerves.

“Now that you mention it, he probably wasn’t the best person to go to.” You both laughed and Bucky took your hands in his. He placed soft kisses on your knuckles. “Will you let me make it up to you?”

You rose to your knees and slowly started taking his ridiculous suit jacket off, flinging it off to the side. Your fingers played with the buttons of his shirt. “You’re off to a pretty good start but you’re still a little too dressed so can you do something about that?” You pulled away from him and started moving back up the bed, beckoning him to follow only after he finished what you started.

Before you could lie back against the pillows, Bucky was already crawling up after you; bare chested with only a dark pair of briefs keeping him covered. He intertwined his fingers with yours as his lean body hovered above you and started pressing faint kisses along your chest and neck. “You stopped calling me James,” he stated in between kisses.

“I like calling you Bucky,” you whispered. You could feel his lips smiling against your skin. He liked it too.

Nimble fingers made quick work of removing the last remaining articles of clothing until you were bare against each other. The difference in temperature between your bodies made shivers crawl up your spine. You twirled your fingers through his short chestnut hair and guided his lips to your neck, silently urging him on since he was taking his time.

Carefully, he dragged the sharp edges of his fangs along your neck and you whimpered in response. When his lips reached your ear, he whispered something familiar. “Do I have your consent?”

Trying to keep your voice even as you answered, “Bite me, Bucky.”

“As you wish,” he replied with a grin.

For the second time, Bucky sank his fangs into your neck, letting out a guttural growl as soon as he tasted your blood on his tongue again. You moaned and gripped onto his shoulders as he drank from you once more, listening to him hum as your blood coated his lips and rushed down his throat. Delirious from the sensation, you hiked your thighs over his hips and pulled him to you, grinding against him until he tore himself away from your neck with a feral look in his eyes. Your lips met in a hungry collision of need and desire, tasting your blood in his kiss. With one precise thrust, your bodies were connected and you screamed as the pleasure began to overwhelm you. You were on fire but his cold skin licked the flames calm. You were night and day. Silver and gold.

Your heart was racing and his hips matched the rhythm. Pumping into you like the blood pumping through your veins until you couldn’t see straight. Your mouth lay open in a silent scream as Bucky surged into you harder and faster, chasing down your orgasms like a hunter would its prey.

When the whimpers and moans fell silent, Bucky licked the puncture marks away and you laid in each other’s arms, bodies still pulsing from the ecstasy.

“That was incredible.” Bucky shifted beside you, letting his eyes rest as he held you close to him. His cold chest felt incredibly soothing against your flushed cheeks.

“Worth the wait?”

“Definitely.” He pressed a kiss to your forehead as you traced lazy circles over his pecs.

You smiled and buried your face into the crook of his neck, content and satiated. Only after your heartbeat had calmed did you realize how much time had passed. “I can’t believe the sun’s coming up already,” you mumbled.

“Sunrise is still another hour away, doll. You may be taking that post-sex glow a little too far,” he joked, pinching your side playfully until you giggled.

“Well, what’s that bright light then? I can barely keep my eyes open,” you complained as you sat upright.

“What are you talking about?” Bucky opened his eyes and looked over to the windows across the room but there was no light coming from them. However, through his peripheral vision, he could see that something really was starting to shine. When he turned to see, his eyes widened in shock. “Y/N…it’s you.”

The look of alarm on Bucky’s face sent a wave of fear through you but before you could say anything, the entire room started to shake violently. Your skin was glowing brighter, heating up to near-boiling temperatures and you started to scream. A high pitched whistling started echoing throughout not just the bedroom but the entire grounds of the manor. There was banging at the door followed by Steve’s worried cries as he tried to bust through from outside. Bucky tried to reach out to you as a blinding light engulfed your body and pulled you away. All he could do was cover his eyes and scream your name.

And now they’re outside ready to bust
It looks like you might be one of us

<< previous :: next >>

**Lyrics at the end from the song Heathens by twenty one pilots**

TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY 💔

@avengerofyourheart @beccaanne814-blog @buckysbackpackbuckle @buckyywiththegoodhair @imaginingbucky @buckysberrie @marvelingatthewonder @angryschnauzer @buckyslightsaber @memiskypirate @anya-lv @heismyhunter @melanie451 @palaiasaurus64 @fantasticimpaladoctor @the-renaissance @bucky-on-a-bike @whatsbetterthanfantasy @jbb-98 @fallingpanickedkilljoys @feelmyroarrrr @annadier @no-im-not-dead-nor-i-have-a-pool @timeladylaurel @hotstuff-demigods @nykitass @4theluvofall @fab-notfat @supersoldier-wifey @violentlyfarts @hearteyeseb @sweetiepiebunny @forfoxsake77 @thisisthelilith @sallyp-53 @eileenlikesyou-maybe @magickm00nlady @38leticia @xxchexchickxx  @buckymybabyfanfics @feepsmoothie @sammi-faye @colouredwater @spookass @re2d2 @midnightloverslie @thatisstilltheterm @sergeant-angel @aubzylynn @damnbuckyishot @theplaidshirtmadness @hellomissmabel @to-be-a-sunshine @buckyfvckmebarnes @tori-medusa-belongs-to-bucky @fandomtainment @bucky2nat  @iwillbeinmynest  @kaaatniss @kduran04 @winterbombyourface @nedxwynert @eralgrey @finallybreathee @tailsismaimofo @angelofstolenhope @dobby-is-a-fr33-elf @supernaturallyshinee @passiononfire @captainmqmeep @melonberri @c-maximoffs @buckymetalarmbarnes @knittingknerdy @sebatmanstan @marvel-and-aesthetics @beany-the-teeny-weenie-meanie @theriumking @peachthatdrinkslemonade @iamflanneltrash @professional-fandoms @bloo-moon-freak @wintersdoll @pickylittlebitch @winchestermogernsternholmes @plzstoptalkingnow @almondbuttercup @rebel-different @down-the-rabbit-hole-030

I had to remove any links that didn’t work, I’m sorry loves!!!

J falling in love with you

Him subtly flirting with you when you first meet:

Him showing you that he can finally tie his hair up in a bun as a conversation starter:

When you’re joking around and you take it a little too far and he starts to get pissed:

When you start hanging out together for the first time:

Having a humble conversation:

When you goof…..:

& mess around together:

Him jokingly trying to seduce you:

And always trying to make you laugh:

Hanging out when the boys are working & distracting jared, resulting in him getting told off:

Jared drunk FaceTiming you at 2am with Shannon:

Him constantly trying to get your attention in a group:

The face he makes when he watches you do your little things:

Hanging late at night when you’re both bored:

The guys teasing Jared when you’re around:

Distracting him when you walk in:

When he realises that he loves you:

But trying to figure out how to show you/tell you:

He decides to act super cute because he knows it’ll make you giggle:

But still be’s a dag:

Goofing around on Skype while he’s on tour:

The face he makes when you tell him that you miss him:

When Shannon invites you over to surprise Jared the day they get back:

And Skyping after you leave because you missed each other that much: “You looked fucking beautiful”

Making breakfast together the next day:

Him telling you about the trip:

And losing track of time because you can’t stop talking:

Waking Jared up after you accidentally fell asleep on his couch:

You’re both really exhausted the next day:

Talking to him because he hasn’t been feeling good:

And calling him later to see how he’s doing but he just acts like an asshole and you hang up:

And he realises he fucked up:

So you don’t talk for a few days:

It being awkard when you see each other again: “Hey” 

Telling him that he hurt you:

And him having no idea how to express how he truly feels:

So the only thing he can think to do is this:

He pulls back to see how you react to him kissing you:

And all you can think about is him consuming you:

So you pull him back into you:

And he says:

You go to tell him that you love him but Shannon walks in:

“So..” :

He cracks a joke to make you less nervous:

“I think i love you”:

He stares at you waiting to see what you say..

“I think i love you too”:

The first time he makes love to you:

And how he takes care of you after:

He sings you the soft parts of Alibi whilst you fall asleep in his arms:

You can’t keep your hands off each other now that you’ve both admitted that you love each other:

You eat and talk on Skype when he goes away:

And he tells you about shaving his eyebrows:

And when he gets back he likes to take photos of you so he can have them when he goes away again:

And likes to kiss you some more:

And some more:

And some more:

He rocks up really late unannounced just to kiss you:

And make love to you all the time:

And you sometimes laugh at him when he tries to be romantic:

He sometimes takes you on road trips for work so he won’t get lonely:

And you tell him that you get annoyed at how he lets all the girls touch him but he doesn’t seem to be phased that you’re upset and tells you “It’s part of the job”:

Until you make it very clear that you don’t like it:

So he tries to tell you not to worry but he’s still not taking you seriously:

Until he sees you flirting with Shannon:

And thinks “you’ve got to be kidding me”:

Then gets jealous and doesn’t want you to notice:

You don’t say anything to him in the car on the way back:

And still don’t when you get inside:

You both get into bed and you start crying and he looks at you like this:

“It’s just you” he says:

And pecks your lips:

You move over a little so your bodies are pressing together and he looks down at you:

You lift your hands up into his hair and just look into his eyes:

He starts to cry because he didn’t realise how much he hurt you:

So you kiss him and try to calm him down by running your fingers over his body:

But in turn that does the opposite:

And he makes intense, passionate love to you, doing things that he’s never done to you before:

And makes sure to wrap you up in the blankets after:

When you wake up the next morning, Jared won’t stop staring at you:

You giggle, “what?”, he grunts “mgh nothing”:

“Didn’t anyone ever tell you it was rude to stare baby?”:

He smirks at the comment he just made knowing full well that he has you verbally cornered:

You sometimes run him a bath after his shows for him to come and relax in:

And when you’re upset he takes care of you:

And when one person makes you upset, he goes into defensive boyfriend mode:

The face he makes when you’re giggling:

The “I’m trying to stay angry with you but i just fucking can’t” face:

The way he looks at you when you’re out with other people:

And the little smirks that he gives you when your eyes meet:

The puppy dog face:

And the face he pulls when he doesn’t get what he wants because he know’s it always makes you kiss him:

The look he pulls when you’re both trying to remain serious:

FaceTiming while he’s away filming:

The way he won’t stop staring at you:

Or skyping you:

Or loving you:

Ever:

Sense of Humor

Mercury in Aries: jokes at others’ expense, tries to be funnier than the people around them, likes to tease (or goad), loves wacky dares, very physical and demonstrative, does funny things more than says them, immature, likes stunts.
Mercury in Taurus: quirky, charming, classic, lots of idioms, euphemisms, and innuendos, subtle implications, smooth, flirtatious, sophisticated, rhetorical, doesn’t exactly “joke” but they’re entertaining anyway, can be dry or ironic.
Mercury in Gemini: turns everything into a joke, can be inappropriate, very quick-witted, clever, ironic, rhetorical, demonstrative, loves to use facial expressions, silly, playful, loves pranks and games, punny, mischievous.
Mercury in Cancer: sometimes indirect and subtle but seldom sarcastic or dry, old-fashioned, loves to make puns, wholesome humor, cute, silly, can be demonstrative, may exaggerate, mostly simple & fun, often immature.
Mercury in Leo: very dramatic, jokes at literally everybody’s expense (including their own), makes playfully arrogant/vain statements, demonstrative, loves to exaggerate, very perceptive of reactions & caters to their “audience.”
Mercury in Virgo: tells jokes people don’t get, good at puns, can be self-depreciating, dry humor, witty, often ironic, jokes are complaints & complaints are jokes, sophisticated, can’t play along, good at telling amusing stories.
Mercury Libra: might disguise unkind jokes under charm/niceness, master of “relatable” jokes, makes a lot of references, often dramatic, indirect, avoids sarcasm, usually tries to make sure their jokes aren’t at anybody’s expense.
Mercury in Scorpio: dark humor (sometimes offensively so), inside jokes galore, ironic, sarcastic, indirect, vague, often takes their jokes too far, tells jokes for their own enjoyment, likes to get reactions, mildly mean, rhetorical.
Mercury in Sagittarius: exaggerates a lot (& tends to be sarcastic as a result), often offensive, uses a lot of accents, tells hilarious stories, very blunt & direct, can be mean, can’t tell a joke with a straight face, inappropriate.
Mercury in Capricorn: tends to be condescending, very dry humor, hilarious things spoken in a totally deadpan manner, extremely sarcastic in a bland but entertaining way, “intellectual” jokes, lots of shrugs and eye-rolls, mature.
Mercury in Aquarius: usually pretty offensive, witty, loves pushing the envelope of comedy, tests people, very sarcastic, the kind of person to stretch their joke on for as long as possible & keep adding to it, enjoys reactions.
Mercury in Pisces: self-depreciating, amazing at impressions & mimicking, very creative & good at situational humor, endlessly ironic, makes sure you know they’re joking & probably apologizes for a lot of their jokes, vague.


Your Jupiter sign generally describes what you consider to be funny, so if you have Jupiter in Aries, for example, you will likely laugh the most at people who have an Aries sense of humor.


Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to the sun: sense of humor will be more dramatic, self-centered, creative, unique, and exhibitionistic.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to the moon: sense of humor will be more innocent, wholesome, considerate, softer, and more modest.
Jupiter in aspect to Mercury: sense of humor will be wittier, exaggerated, more inappropriate, playful, mischievous, quirky, and youthful.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Venus: sense of humor will be more graceful, sophisticated, refined, classic, inoffensive, polite, and charming.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Mars: sense of humor will be more aggressive, impactful, immature, quick, mean, demonstrative, and boyish.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Saturn: sense of humor will be more dry, mature, sarcastic, careful, calm, reserved, and uncertain.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Uranus: sense of humor will be more eccentric, offensive, unique, shocking, strange, random, and interesting.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Neptune: sense of humor will be more imaginative, sensitive, nonsensical, unique, adaptable, and confusing.
Mercury or Jupiter in aspect to Pluto: sense of humor will be more intense, morbid, taboo, interesting, controversial, twisted, and reserved.


The subject/object of your humor is often related to the theme of the houses which have some form of contact to Gemini/Mercury or Sagittarius/Jupiter energies. For example, if you have Gemini on the sixth house cusp, you will likely be humorous, mischievous, and playful in work environments with your coworkers and employees. Read about house meanings {here}.

BTS REACTS TO: Accidentally hurting their s/o’s feelings

Anon Asked: Hello!! Can I request for a bts reaction to accidentally hurting their gf’s feelings? Thank you lovely❤️

I’m taking the more unpopular route. This isn’t gonna be some angsty shit where their s/o is like… crying or whatever. I just think the dramatic “i hate you [y/n]” and [y/n] like… erupts into a depressive fit is so overplayed and it’s not at all relatable - or realistic for that matter. (no offense to other reaction blogs i love y’all. this is all T no shade)

ANYWAYS, I’m switching “gf” to “s/o” because I want this to be inclusive for everyone. Gender Neutrality is encouraged, guys. Please keep it as neutral as your request can possibly get. - Admin Dayna


Seokjin

What Happened

You finally cracked the login to your old Facebook account and thought it would be funny to show Jin your pre-glo up selfies. You know… the ones with the myspace edits. It was fun and all. Seokjin for the most part had trouble believing it was you in the pictures he was seeing. You’d cringe, but he was just floored with laughter - you couldn’t help but laugh with him, too. It was contagious. 

At some point, you scrolled onto a group picture of yourself and some friends. Jin - still having trouble putting the person in the pictures together with you - pointed at you specifcally in the group picture.

“[y/n]! You thought you looked bad back then? Look at this person!”

*insert your reaction here*

*insert Jin’s reaction here* “Is that you?!”

Your Reaction

Originally posted by ba1n3s

His

Originally posted by apgujeon


Yoongi

What Happened?

For the first time in a long while, Yoongi had enough free time on his hands to do something with you. Usually, the two of you stuck around at home and spent the little time with one another under a blanket drifting off during what was supposed to be a movie night. However, Yoongi was feeling a lot more upbeat than usual, and had suggested a night out. Restaurant reservations were made hours ahead of time. Yoongi was already dressed up, and you were putting the finishing touches to your look. 

At the time he was trying to be slick, making side comments about how long it was taking you to get dressed. You, for the most part, either ignored him completely, or made smartass clap backs when the occasion arises. 

However, when you were actually done getting dressed, Yoongi made a comment that got under your skin. 

“All this time, [y/n] and your hair isn’t even done.”

*insert your reaction here* 

”My hair was the first thing I did.”

“insert Yoongi’s reaction here*

Your Reaction

Originally posted by natforprez

His

Originally posted by beui

Keep reading

not now, boner

Yuri, at age twenty-three, finally learned how to truly hide his erection.

The truth was that it hadn’t been a big problem before. Sure, like every developing teenage boy, he learned how to deal with the occasional pop-up boner that always seemed to happen at the wrong times. Apart from that, however, Yuri’s body was good at keeping them contained to situations where he was alone.

But then Victor entered his life – for real this time, not as an untouchable idol he saw on TV or figurative miles ahead of him at competitions. Real. Touch real, so real, real enough that Yuri could place his hand on Victor at any time and know it was not his imagination.

So real it caused his dick to be far more alert than it had ever been in his life previously.

It was not the big things that riled Yuri up. He felt no blood rushing through his veins when Victor, as naked as ever in the Katsuki family baths, had extended his arm towards Yuri in a proclamation of support. For many months, Victor’s flirtatious ways of touching Yuri evoked nothing but a small blush, and not much more. Even when Victor asked, “What do you want me to be? Your boyfriend?” the butterflies in Yuri’s stomach didn’t turned into anything more.

Instead it was the small things. The first time Yuri walked in on Victor helping his dad out in the kitchen, days after his arrival, neck slightly bent as he chopped onions for the guests, Yuri was forced to leave the room and find solace in his bed. He spent a long time confused as to why his body was reacting as it was. Then, again, when Yuri had thrown Makkachin a stick surprisingly far, turning around to glance at Victor, and— He smiled, so softly, watching the scene of Yuri play with Makkachin on the beach. Yuri ran home as fast as he could, offering no explanation. And Victor’s eyes inspecting his body like art on the ice had forced Yuri to pull emergency breaks throughout the days so he could calm himself down.

For months, Yuri experimented with different ways to turn his erection into no more, coming up with shocking imagery in his mind that he had to up every so often as it lost its effectiveness.

Then came the kiss, and

Yuri, still at age twenty-three, learned he didn’t have to deal with his erections alone anymore.

Husband!Minghao
  • The Best Friend™ Husband
  • he loves you but you can sure as hell bet that he’s always ready to go for the drag
  • don’t get me wrong, Minghao definitely has a romantic side with his wife and he’s probably adorable when you were still his girlfriend but when girlfriend turns into wife… well people get comfortable and you two go from 
  • Him: “Oh do you want to order mint ice cream and share?”
  • You who hates mint ice cream: “Yeah..!”
  • to 
  • “Why do you always buy mint ice cream, you know I hate it” “Its the only thing i can love in peace, you finish everything else”

Keep reading

Pure Fluff (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

Another Year -  doodlebuglester

Summary: Dan realizes that even the most cliché of songs can have some merit.

Curled Hair and Painted Nails - darling-phil

Summary: When Dan begins to lack confidence about his newly painted nails and natural hair, Phil is there to offer his support.

English Rain - fleurdelester

Summary: After filming another pokemon go video, Dan and Phil get caught in a downpour.

Family - phillestatos

Summary: When Dan met Phil, she never thought an eighteen-year-old boy could change his son’s life in that way and how he could become family to her. Or, a reflexion of Dan and Phil’s relationship through the years in Phil’s mum point of view. Too floof.

Haru-Chan - phillestatos

Summary: Phil just hates that Haru pillow. It’s ridiculous and pathetic, but he can’t help but feel that Haru’s blue eyes look at him as saying, He loves me more than you. jealous!Phil.

House of Memories - wavydanrises

Summary: In which Phil is away, and Dan reflects back on their life together.

I Can Fix That - lavendercha

Summary: The washing machine breaks and Phil tries to fix it.

In This Moment All I Know - undressrehearsal

Summary: Dan is fascinated by the rain and Phil is fascinated by Dan, but he’d really like it if the boy would just come back to bed already.

It Starts & Ends With Your Arms - phanimist

Summary: dan and phil share a hotel bed in hong kong as all the other rooms are booked up. despite their unmentioned habit/tendency to wake up finding themselves curled up to one another, they’re both slightly more than comfortable with the sleeping arrangements.

Morning Glow - darling-phil

Summary: Dan wakes up before Phil and can’t help but admire how beautiful he looks in the morning. It’s only so long before his thoughts turn less…innocent.

Rain And Trees And Sunshine - jilliancares

Summary: Phil lends Dan his jacket.

Somewhere Only We Know - phan-fiction

Summary: The bench overlooking the lake in Central Park was the place Dan would go to lose himself in his thoughts and be alone. That is, until Phil Lester joins him one day, and suddenly Dan is no longer going to the bench to be alone. Suddenly the bench is where he gains a best friend, and where he falls in love.

Textbook Love - phanimist

Summary: phil works at the library, and is more than happy to get to know the cute boy at the back of the room, even if he does play his music loudly.

Thanks To The Internet - irphanfic

Summary: How Dan and Phil wrote the verse ‘’without the internet we never would have met’’ for The Internet Is Here.

That’s The Way I Like It And I’ll Never Get Bored - secretlywritingstories

Summary: Dan takes a joke way too far and Phil has to listen to a certain Shrek song in their radio show too many times.

The Greatest Valentine of All - phloridas

Summary: A simple trip to the toy store sparks some nostalgic feelings–and plants an idea in Dan’s mind. Is Phil ready for his proposition? Or, the one where seeing a bunch of kids’ toys makes Dan really, really want a child.

You Are Not Trivial - phanimist

Summary: dan being a ghost doesn’t once hinder the friendship between him and phil. the two are constantly there for each other, despite their various differences in problems, and they never let the concepts of what’s ‘real’ and what isn’t define them and the relationship they have.

Your Love (Make Me Feel Like) - cafephan

Summary: Dan plans a spontaneous getaway for himself and Phil.