taking over empires

haggar is literally so interesting like her magic is so powerful and yet she still stays loyal to zarkon and lotor when she could idk??? fucking control the empire herself????? also with the bomb drop that shes altean it makes her past and connection to altea and her origin story so fucking interesting….. why do we even have prince snortor when the real powerhouse is literally right next to him……… when lotor drops dead quick i can’t wait for haggar to be the main villain……….. shes to powerful to not be it at one point……….

shirotheotakupaladin  asked:

Hey Kuro, I've been wondering this for the longest damn time, but if you had the chance, would you take over the Galra empire? If so, what would be your first order of business?

:D He’d be the shittiest emperor the universe has ever seen…

Humans Are Actually Alteans

NOW HERE ME OUT. This is just something I’ve been thinking about since all Alteans can’t just be gone and it makes me too sad to think that Allura and Coran are the last ones.

So what I was thinking with how humans can be Alteans actually relates back to how the Blue Lion was created. In Voltron Force there was this arc explaining that five planets brought together resources to create the Voltron Lions, I don’t remember that arc very well but it made me think

“What is the Blue Lion was built on earth?”

Again hear me out, a loooooong time ago even more 10,000 years ago Earth was having an ice age people. It makes sense that the Blue Lion, Guardian Spirit of Water was built on a planet covered more or less 70% in water and ice. My money is that the Blue Lion was built underwater to be kept safe, along with the researchers, in an underwater city sounds familiar huh?

If that’s the case, maybe a couple hundred scientists, researchers, explorers, etc may have called Atlantis and Earth their home for a time but the planet was not very suitable for a mass population to live on which may factor in to why Earth has been left untouched by the rest of the universe. Anyway, moving forward it’d also be interesting if a few other species like the Merfolk and perhaps even other species humans could consider myths now were actually other alien species that remained on earth  

Now, why did they remain on earth? For this the first thing that came to mind was Ilos from Mass Effect. That when Zarkon and the Galra empire rose to take over the empire, the planets the Lions were built on were cut off from the rest of the universe to prevent Zarkon from conquering them and learning the secrets of the Lions

And like Ilos, the Altean research team could have put themselves in cryo perhaps to wait things out or for the Voltron Force to arrive, other species like the merfolk and even other Alteans could have lived and maintained the city along with others and they could have become keepers to the city and the Alteans but it couldn’t have lasted forever right? It would take a lot of resources they’d eventually have to journey to the surface when the ice began to melt

Some Alteans and other species that had lived on Atlantis chose to live on the surface, perhaps alongside the small human population that survived the Ice Age. The Alteans took their features to blend in and accepted their new home and the species. Only a handful remained in Atlantis, some Alteans, mostly merfolk since a few pods were left active, perhaps the Alteans with the most knowledge of their culture and Voltron.

Then, when the species began to intermingle. Humans and Alteans began to evolve into a new form of Alteans that lost their mystical abilities like manipulating quintessence from lack of exposure to its raw form or maybe even losing the art from it not being caught. It happens over long periods of time, these Humans/Alteans lose their long life spans and the Altean culture. They eventually lose the points of their ears and the markings on their bodies but evolve to adapt and survive in harsh environments so that’s how humans got their current appearance. Because really, they are the ONLY species we’ve seen that resemble Alteans, literally the only different appearance wise are the ears and face marks. 

Also I’m thinking around modern times human’s lifespans may have grown again to around 100-150 years but not nearly as long as the original Alteans (again, a Mass Effect reference, shh)

I’m not saying these human/Alteans lost everything about them that makes them Altean, but many of the information and culture was lost when Earth had to cut its ties completely to keep hidden from the Druids and Zarkon’s rise to power. There may even be some Alteans descendants that still remember the stories of their people and their abilities, some may even still have such abilities and watch over Earth

These Human/Alteans that still remember tend to retain their long lifespans and have been watching over the planet and protecting it, maybe they’re an order of sorts for them? They may have also helped humanity evolve faster through technological advances

Perhaps there are members among the Galaxy Garrison?

Now I’m going into more headcanon territory now but imagine if Sam Holt was one of these Altean/Humans? Or maybe he may even have been one of the scientists in the cryo pods who was one of the original scientists to work on the Blue Lion? Or maybe he was just a descendant that remembered  

Just, I’m not letting go of all that foreshadowing he said to Katie during the last family dinner that she will be a part of her own team and do something extraordinary. If he helped built Voltron who’s to say he can’t notice a potential pilot? Also, back to Sam being Altean, he’d jump at the chance to be on a mission to travel out to Kerberos, the furthest humanity has gotten out to space he’d give anything to go out there and see the universe again because how much do these Alteans really know about how damaged the universe has become?

And everything is great! That is, until Sam and the Kerberos crew are captured and his hopes are shattered by the state of the universe and what Zarkon has done to it annnndddd that’s all I got 

Well, besides an idea that Zarkon could potentially be rounding up any species/people that have Altean blood in them because they could still be a threat to him and perhaps he has a prison for them? Has them experimented on? Maybe even turns them into whatever Haggar is. After the Haggar is Altean reveal there must be more Alteans out there, I just like to think they’re a little closer to home haha see what I did there 

ANYWAY If anyone wants to expand on this idea go for it, and please tell me about it, also I just really wanted to find a way for the Altean race to keep living on even if it’s in a different form, this may even apply to other Alteans around the universe, they’re still alive just in different forms and shapes to survive

And to end on a happier note anyone who wanted a valid reason for Altean Lance YOU’RE WELCOME

anonymous asked:

Luke looks angry and a little scary in the poster the opposite to Kylo and I don't get it.

I think this is Rian Johnson’s way of going back to Lucas’ original intended vision of ROTJ, without having it be as drastic and keeping it in line with the current story arc. In the original Return of the Jedi, Luke was actually supposed to turn to a dark path and disappear for good, leaving Leia behind (and Han was supposed to die because Harrison Ford felt his character needed to, which, wtf Harrison). 

Return of the Jedi was originally supposed to be called “Revenge of the Jedi. It was actually known as that more that “Return” because there was a shit-load of Revenge-themed posters, teasers and merch (which was also red like The Last Jedi, look at that).  It was only two months before the summertime release (timed to the fifth anniversary of “Star Wars”) that “Revenge” became “Return” because I mean, vengeance isn’t exactly Jedi-like…


Here are some things that completely changed. Apparently Lucas had a falling out with the production crew and a bunch of things had to be revised and compromised. For example:

The original plot formulated by Lucas was Wookie guerrillas fighting the Empire in their home planet, while other Wookies were enslaved to build the second Death Star and the Rebels tried to take over the Empire in an epic final battle. That’s what Lucas first envisioned: a Vietnam-style war movie. But unfortunately the search for a Director hampered production and eventually we got cute teddy bears who could take down Imperial walkers with rocks. (No shade, I still think Ewoks are so fucking cute)

While doing press amid the 1997 rerelease of  ROTJ Harrison Ford claimed he actually wanted Han to die at the end of the second “Star Wars” sequel, but Lucas thought Han Solo (alive) toys would still be marketable up until now (and they are!)

Also, George Lucas originally wanted Luke Skywalker to become Darth Vader at the end of Return of the Jedi. His last lines were going to be “Now I am Vader. Now I will go and kill the [Rebel] fleet and I will rule the universe.“ 


Luke was intended to leave and turn to the Dark Side. The rebels were supposed to win, but our protagonist, of all people, became the man nobody wanted him to be. They had to keep with the fact that Luke was a wholly good person and didn’t want his image tainted for the sake of the little kiddies and Luke fanboys who couldn’t handle character change. 

That’s where Rian steps in. Now that Luke’s old, there’s an open opportunity for him to have a lot of questions answered, especially since we know little to nothing about him and Ben training, being isolated on the Island, and why he wants the Jedi to end. I think answering those questions will allow us to understand why Luke could have been (or now is!) a darker or even, dare I say it, evil character, and why Ben had turned (Ben’s turn to Kylo Ren could be the DarkSide!Luke Lucas originally intended passed onto his character arc instead, but it gives him room for two more episodes to redeem himself and show that the light ultimately wins. That’s why Kylo looks more like a lost little puppy than an angry villain compared to Luke. There’s some shit or secrets Luke’s got behind that beard.)


anonymous asked:

“I need this.” elorcan... just destroy us with the angst pls we're ready <3

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I’VE DONE WITH THIS ANON but i hope you’ll like it.

“Please, Elide. Please.”

There is blood on Lorcan’s shirt, on his hands.

And she knows that the vast majority of it is his.

Elide presses her lips until they are a nearly visible thin line, reigning in the words of worry-worried, worried for him- that threaten to come out.

How could she forgive him?

Even if she wants to.

Even if she knows he means it, even if the need to caress his face, to trace the lines around his eyes, to smooth his guilt and sorrow away is sometimes unbearable.

Elide closes her eyes, the image of Aelin during those terrible last moments flooding her mind.

She knows he did it to protect her, to fulfill the promise he made her, but at what price?

Even if her queen was finally with them again, recovering from what Maeve did to her…

“Why did you crawl to her?” she asks, venom dripping from her tongue. Lorcan’s eyes widen for a second, but it’s the only giveaway to his emotions before he tries to regain the neutral expression she was so used to see on him on those first days when they met, and it’s now always more rare.

It’s like watching a mighty kingdom crumble.

“I-” he begins, then stops, like he is unsure of what words to use and it hurts, it hurts Elide to watch him like this, like he doesn’t know what to do with himself now that he doesn’t have to follow orders after order, now that he’s free.

But Lorcan seems to be more in a cage now than when he was under Maeve’s claws.

He stills himself, squares his shoulder and says “I don’t know if I wanted to kiss her feet or slit her throat.”

Elide flinches, his eyes never leaving hers.

And she knows he is speaking the truth, Anneith swears by it.

“I never thanked you for helping me with my ankle. Thank you, Lorcan.”

He closes his eyes, breaths in, nods.

She wonders of all the types of kindness Lorcan isn’t used to.

They both aren’t used to.

She grazes her fingers on his hand and all his body tenses, like he thought he would never again feel her skin on his.

She thought so too, she was sure that she would never forgive him, never touch him again, never-and the words she used that damned day…she meant every single one of them.

Lorcan moves his hand to entwine their fingers together; the touch is tentative and slow and Elide-she doesn’t pull away.

“I can live without honor,” he whispers, his voice steady even if Elide knows every word must taste like poison “I can live without her. But your forgiveness, you, this-” he squeezes her hand, once, twice, “I need this.” As he speaks, he brings her hand to his mouth, kisses her palm.

It’s the first time he asks this with words; before now, it was always gestures, dramatic heroic acts to make her see just how sorry he was and she-

“I can forgive you, but I can’t forget what you’ve done. And you have to swear that you will never again put someone else’s life at risk just to save mine.”

“Elide, you can’t-”

Swear it.”

Every word coming out of his mouth is laced with regret as he says “I swear it.”

She takes a step toward him and stands on her feet and she can’t help but think of how her ankle doesn’t hurt her, how she’s getting used to the absence of that pain.

Even on her tiptoes she still can reach where she wants, so she grabs a fistful of his shirt and pulls him down to kiss the corner of his mouth.

She hears a faint sound like the frantic beat of a drum and it’s his heart.

“I’ll teach you hope and kindness if you teach me how to read and write.” she says.

Lorcan huffs a laugh and his other hand goes to her hip, trembling.



star wars anidala au: anakin skywalker - now lord vader - turns against his own mentor darth sidious and, instigated by his wife - former senator padmé amidala -, takes over the empire so they can rule the galaxy side by side.

happy revenge of the fifth!

cosleia  asked:

Ahahaha that crack lancelot wedding was fantastic and yes of COURSE I WANT THE DARK VERSION

You all asked for it…

[Original prompt, go here if you want fluffy Lancelot crack] Stay if you want a very dark response to the prompt “lancelot wedding”

General trigger warning. Please read with caution.

           “Will you marry me?”

           Lance didn’t even bother to lift his head, his eyes stirring the dusty prison floor as they fluttered open. He had finally been drifting off to sleep too. His shoulders ached, his arms pulled upwards at an awkward angle to where he was handcuffed to a ring on the wall. His legs were drawn up against his chest, and the cold hard of the floor pressed into him. He didn’t move a muscle, still facing the wall, but he knew Lotor wouldn’t leave until he gave an answer.

           “No,” he said, his voice hoarse with disuse. He heard a defeated sigh and retreated footsteps, and his eyes slid thankfully closed again. Lotor must not be in a persuasive mood today. He shuffled his legs slightly closer, trying to preserve some bit of warmth. If only they would just let him sleep.


           The first offer had come about a week after his capture. The demands for information had suddenly stopped, they’d ushered him into a shower, and given him clothes, real clothes, not just the ragged purple Galra prisoner garb. Once he was dressed they’d ushered him into a suspiciously nice room, where the first real meal he’d seen since his capture was laid out on the table in decadent glory. A Galra with a circlet around his long white hair greeted him and let him to a seat, introducing himself as Prince Lotor. Lance wanted to be suspicious of the food but his watering mouth and aching empty stomach were too much imperative to ignore. And as he ate, Prince Lotor talked.

           He told Lance he’d heard of the many impressive feats of Voltron. He’d told Lance he’d heard of the bravery of the Blue Paladin but never of his beauty. He’d told Lance that when he’d seen the interrogations, Lance’s refusal to crack no matter what they did to him, no matter how they tortured him, he had swept in and demanded to talk with him. He shifted his chair closer to Lance and started to whisper plans, plans to pull Lance out of prison, out of interrogation, to make him his partner, plans to make the entire universe recognize Lance’s talents, plans to take over the empire from Zarkon and rule it with Lance at his side. That last one made Lance pause, set his fork down, swallow his food, and turn to Lotor.

           “So, this is a bad cop/good cop routine, or what?” he asked. Lotor launched into an eloquent speech about the purity of his intentions with Lance, praising Lance’s beauty, talking about how Voltron didn’t appreciate his skills, his talents. Lance more or less tuned him out, picking his fork back up and eating as much as he could, while he could. He was paying so little attention that it was until Lotor grabbed his hand, pulling the fork out of it and suddenly knelt down next to him that he looked up again, chewing a mouthful of bread. Lotor waited patiently until he had swallowed, and then came the question for the first time.

           “Will you marry me?”

           Lance had laughed, the first time. It was such an absurd idea that he hadn’t known what other reaction to give.

           He didn’t laugh anymore.


           Lance lost count of how many strategies they used. There were days when Lotor pulled Lance out of his cell, dressed him up like a doll, and showered him with food and gifts, lounging next to him on luxuriously lined sofas and running his fingers through Lance’s hair. He had learned to keep Lotor talking, make those days last as long as possible. He didn’t eat as much of the food as he had the first time because they always made him throw it back up when he continued to refuse. Those days weren’t very frequent anyway.

           “Will you marry me?”

           There were days when they dragged him back to interrogation and torture. Sometimes they still wanted information, but more often these days it seemed they did it for fun. Either way, Lotor would pop up, promising to make the pain stop. Lance stayed as silent as possible on those days.

           “Will you marry me?”

           But most days, they just left him alone, breaking him slowly by letting him rot away in a prison cell. Sometimes there were days without food, days when Lance didn’t move from his spot curled on the floor. Yet once a day, without fail, Lotor would come and ask his question.

           “Will you marry me?”

           Lance didn’t even know why Lotor wanted him.


           He was dragged unwilling back to consciousness by the sound of his name. He kept his eyes closed, waiting for the question. As soon as he could say no, Lotor would leave, and maybe he could sleep again. He just wanted to sleep.

           But for once, the question didn’t come. Lotor just kept repeating his name until Lance finally pulled his legs forward until he got himself into a siting position and shuffled so that he was facing Lotor. As he turned, he came more awake than he had been in days.

           Pidge was trapped under Lotor’s arm, tears streaking down ash on her face, a sword cutting a thin red line into her throat. Her bayard was missing and her armor dented and marked with combat. Her eyes met Lance’s and fresh tears spilled over.

           “She can go free right here, right now, or she can join you in that cell,” Lotor said, smiling. He always smiled. He had what Lance thought someone else might describe as a pleasant smile, but Lance could see only his sharp teeth. “So, Lance. Will you marry me?”

           There was only one answer to give.


[I am no longer accepting prompts, just completing the ones in my inbox]

the-new-spanish-empire  asked:

Why you no like me, Holland? ;-;

Holland: “Or maybe because paella really makes me puke, who knows? We’ll never know.”


Holland event: 5/10

We need to know more about Jason

Seriously. We have spent this whole season wondering who killed Jason Blossom, but, the truth is, we dont even know who he was. If theres one thing i would wish for season 2, it would be to get to know him, and give him some DAMN LINES, cause BOYYY, TREVORS VOICE AHH. Anyway. We dont really know what kind of person really was, cause i feel like we get a different story from everyone. Like, from Polly and Cheryls point of view, he seemed like a very caring and wonderful person, but then again, theres his name in the playbook, and, the rumors of Polly and Jason fighting. Which, was the reason for Alice hating him, and being worried about Betty and her relationship with boys, especially Archie, right? I mean, Jason was a jock, and most jocks in high school shows are kind of douches, so i really would like to know, was he as good and caring as Cheryl said, or was she just blinded by his true colours, because he, as her twin, was the only person who cared for her? And when it comes to his parents, Penelope seemed to have cared deeply for him, i mean she cries every time she talks about him. He was, apparently, after all, the whole Blossom familys golden boy. But then, what did he then do, that was so bad his own father had to kill him? And why did Clifford say he didnt have the stomach to take over the empire, when they earlier said he was the one who would, hadn’t he died? Why is everyones opinions about him so different? What was he really like, what would the audience think if we got to know him better?  I would really like to know. I would like to get to know Jason, see him as a character, not just a murder mystery. 

Bigbang as dads

T.O.P : cries when baby is born, tells to every MC who asks that it was happiest day of his life. Overprotective worried dad 24/7, panics every time his child cries, wants to beat up that kid that stared at his daughter at the park (it takes two hours for his wife to convince him that three year old boys don’t have evil thoughts) Has like 5 paintings of his daughter cause SHE IS ART duh. Also occasionally becomes tickle monster.

G-Dragon : Buys a shit ton of clothes and toys for his child. Doesn’t answer his managers calls because he is too busy having a tea party with his 3year old, also he is wearing pink dress with wings (cause according to his child every tea party is dumb if it’s without fairy princess), misses awards shows to watch cartoons. Brings out his kid to one of his concerts (fans coo at cuteness of them) Doesn’t get tired of listening to his kid talk for hours. Likes kissing his kid on the cheek.

Taeyang: Tries to convince Hyorin to let kid have dreadlocks. Teaches his kid how to swim. They dance together while he is cooking breakfast for mommy’s bday. Kid absolutely refuses to wear any clothes and Hyorin silently curses her choice to marry someone who takes of his shirt at any occasion (they eventually come to agreement - Youngbae and his child wear matching outfits). Recreates pics and videos of his child on instagram (Gah). Sings lullabies.

Daesung: Tries to be strict dad but fails because his kid’s face covered in lipstick is too funny. Wakes up in the middle of the night to change diapers.
Comforts his child after nightmares by inviting him to sleep in daddy’s and mommy’s bed. Cooks animal shaped pancakes just to see his kid smile. Likes petting his little one’s head. Hosts awesome sleepovers for member’s kids (they all learn look at me, Gwisun dance)

Seungri: Has atleast three kids and is insanely proud of their every achievement. There is a bigger possibility of world ending tommorow than Seungri missing kid’s soccer game or school play. Teaches kids how to do business from early age (after all someone will have to take over his business empire). Sends pics of his children’s trophies to other members.
Gets jealous of Daesung and starts teaching them “the real dance”. Gives best hugs and shoulder pats.


So you know how the main villains are all adapted of the 7 deadly sins right

And ironically it happens that all of them will follow the description of the punishments in Dante’s Inferno for each sins. (also friendly reminder Dante was the name of the villain in the first anime, I just can’t)

So, quoting the video (which is in French here) and spoiling to death :

Those who committed the sin of Pride are condemned to be constantly crushed under the weight of a rock. In FMA, Pride will end up crushed under rocks.

Those who committed the sin of Envy are condemned to have their eyes being sewed. In FMA, Envy will have his eyes being burned out multiple times.

Those who committed the sin of Wrath are condemned to have their limbs being pulled away. In FMA, Wrath lost both of his arms against Scar.

Those who committed the sin of Sloth are condemned to walk for ever without being able to stop. In FMA, Sloth spent all his life digging the tunnel.

Those who committed the sin of Greed are condemned to share the same body with people who would give everything away for others, the opposite of Greed. In FMA, Greed will then share his body with Ling, his total opposite.

Those who committed the sin of Gluttony are condemned to be bitten and eaten by Cerberus. In FMA, Gluttony will be eaten up by Pride. 

Those who committed the sin of Lust are condemned to be exposed to burning winds and to go through a wall of flame to clean themselves away from their sin. In FMA, Lust is being burnt to death by Roy

As for Father, in Alchemy it was specified that if one managed to create a Homunculus, this one would never be able to leave a little bottle, which is the case of Father. Moreover, the first man to claim having created a Homunculus was named Philippus Theophrastus Aureolus Bombastus Von Hohenheim.  

Moreover, the one who ordered to create Father was the king of Xerxes who wanted to access Immortality. But his plan will turn out against him and Father will provoke his death. In our reality, Xerces is dead killed by one of his captain which plan was to take over his empire to divide it between his Seven Sons. The parallelism between Father and the Homunculus is then obvious, but the story doesn’t stop there, as the story tells that the Seven Sons had been killed as well by the Son of the King, who had for Mother the Queen Amestris

Can you hear me scream on the other side of your screen on how clever this manga is

anonymous asked:

I have a mini headcanon that when Kaminari's S/O's phone is out of battery they would ask him if he could charge it and if he doesn't want to they'll just give him a kiss!!(≧∇≦)/

I know this was just a headcanon, but I had to write a little scenario for it! Speaking of Denki, I got a small poster of him over the holidays for my room, so he’s over by Bokuto and Wonder Woman now. XD [Admin Denki]

“Die, fuckbag.” You muttered to yourself as you angrily tapped your phone screen for your monster to eat the alien enemies. Denki chuckled, his back leaning against yours as you two hung out in the courtyard. He glanced over, watching you play your game.
“How’s it going?” Denki asked, scrolling through songs on his phone to make a playlist.
“I’m so close to destroying the Fronian aliens and taking over their empire. They’re no match for my Brim monster.” You said, continuing to play out your game and the noises of dying soldiers coming out. Denki smiled, hearing you so into your game.
“Yes, die, die, die.” You murmured, tapping away furiously until your phone froze. “What the-” And then your phone turned black. “NO!” You yelled, your phone dying. “She was too young. So young and we hadn’t defeated the empire yet.” You cried, dramatically. Denki looked over his shoulder, smiling a little that your phone had died. It was only a matter of time.
“I guess that’s a sign that maybe you should pay more attention to me.” He joked, thankful for the death.
“Your electric quirk.  .  . it could charge my phone, couldn’t it?” You asked, twisting in your spot to rest your head on his shoulder.
“I’m not doing that.” Denki shook his head.
“What?! C’mon, please? My empire!” You exclaimed.
“Your boyfriend!” Denki responded.
“What if I.  .  .” You leaned closer to Denki. “Gave you a little something?” You suggested, leaning over more and letting your lips touch with Denki’s. He melted into your kiss, fingertips touching your phone and you felt a pleasing jolt go through your body. There was definitely static between the two of you. He cupped your face, wanting you to stay kissing him for a moment longer until your phone made a noise that it had turned on again. You broke the kiss, grinning happily.
“I love you, you know that?” You said, giddily.
“Go save your empire, babe.” Denki rolled his eyes, but his lips were curled up in a smile as he went back to making his playlist.

anonymous asked:

K guys so instead of having lance be captured by lotor and waiting for his squad to rescue him, how about having lance be captured but then sort of somehow manipulates lotor and eventually somehow p much takes over the galra empire and makes lotor his bitch and when the team breaks in to rescue lance they find him with his royal robes on and sipping his drink in a like a jacoozi or something while lotor is massaging him and lance is all like "oh hey guys" and the team is all confused


artwork + copyrights belong to thee @jungle-tree-cat *posted with permission* please take the time to check out their art and tumblr page. I will not let Keith and Lance (Voltron) take over the epic empire that is Jean and Marco (SNK) don’t get me wrong… I love Voltron, but one must always respect the veterans, for they are the legends. 🙌 I picked this particular picture because of how through lack of interest from the G.P, they’re trying to make the next best thing the new trend…. I hate trends…. May this ship sail and mark my words, it will overcome all!

Originally posted by loo-huhu-zer

The Emperor's New Groove Sentence Meme
  • "Will you take a look at that? Pretty pathetic, huh?"
  • "I was the worlds nicest guy and they ruined my life for no reason."
  • "You threw off my groove."
  • "I'm sorry but you've thrown off the emperor's groove."
  • "Trot out the ladies."
  • "Let me guess, you've got a great personality."
  • "Don't be fooled by the folksy, peasant look."
  • "You really should have thought of that before you became peasants."
  • "I'm the emperor and your the emperor's advisor, remember?"
  • "Um, how else can I say it? You're being let go...your departments being downsized, you're part of an outplacement...we're going in a different direction, we're not picking up your option. Take your pick I got more."
  • "Word on the street is you can fix my problem."
  • "When I give the word, your little town thingy will go bye bye."
  • "With him out of the way and no heir to the throne I'll take over and rule the empire."
  • "Why do we even have that lever?"
  • "I'll turn him into a flea, a harmless little flea, and then I'll put that flea in a box and I'll put that box inside of another box and then I'll mail that box to myself and when it arrives I'll smash it with a hammer!"
  • "Our moment of triumph approaches."
  • "I am one hungry king of the world."
  • "Now to get rid of the body."
  • "W...we were just making a toast...to your long and healthy rule."
  • "You know...in my defense...your poisons all look alike. You might think about relabeling some of them."
  • "I am so glad I was unconscious for all of this."
  • "Don't listen to that guy. He's trying to lead you down the path of righteousness. I'm gonna lead you down the path that rocks."
  • "Demon llama!"
  • "I'm an ugly, stinky llama!"
  • "I have no idea. You're the criminal mastermind, not me."
  • "I got a little secret for you. Come here. No, closer."
  • "Maybe I'm just new to this whole rescuing thing but this, to me, might be considered kind of a backward step, wouldn't you say?"
  • "Don't tell me. We're about to go over a huge waterfall."
  • "For the last time, it was not a kiss."
  • "You know what? Some day you're gonna wind up all alone and you'll have no one to blame but yourself."
  • "And so it is with great sadness that we mourn the sudden departure of our beloved prince taken from us so tragically on the very eve of his birthday. His legacy will live on in our hearts for all eternity."
  • "Well...he's not as dead as we would have hoped."
  • "I was gonna have you imprisoned for life but I kind of like this better."
  • "I thought you were a changed man."
  • "Why did I risk my life for a selfish brat like you?"
  • "I was always taught that there was some good in everyone but, oh, you proved me wrong."
  • "Don't read too much into it. It was a one time thing."
  • "Anything sounds bad when you say it with that attitude."
  • "Break it down? Are you kidding me? This is hand-carved mahagony."
  • "Its called a cruel irony, like my dependence on you."
  • "I've never liked your spinach puffs! Never!"
  • "From above, the wicked shall receive their just reward."
  • "It's not the first time I was tossed out a window and it won't be the last."
Samurai Bravo (evil?) idea

Okey, since apparently we already start with the Coffee Shop AU for this pairing I created a sort of Reverse!Samurai Bravo AU, but to be honest I’m not really sure this count as a Reverse AU, but more as a mix of Reverse AU and a Evil AU… maybe? Anyway…

  • So, in this version Aku is still the evil ruler of Earth and several other planets and Jack and him are still enemies.
  • But Jack is as evil as Aku and his only wish is to take over of Aku’s empire.
  • So after arrive into the future he starts a mafia gang and slowly starts to gain power.
  • And over time, Jack ends reining half of the Earth and some planets, (some of them used to be in Aku’s empire, the others were the planets Aku wanted to rule but fail.)
  • So of course Aku sees Jack as a big problem, not only because Jack’s empire is expanding but because his sword.
  • Yes, Jack has a sword, but this one was created by Loki, Apophis and the Demon King Ravana since Aku pretty much messed with their plans (he killed Baldr, kidnapped Sita and defeated Ra in battle and later let him go, just for fun) so they created an evil sword who could absorb Aku, but Jack’s dad wasn’t strong enough and he was killed by Aku in battle. Jack, on the other hand, is evil and strong enough to hold the sword; he already had several fights against Aku, and every time he uses the sword he drains more and more of his power.
  • (There’s another sword created by Odin, Ra and Vishnu but that’s currently missing)
  • But the worst part for Aku is that Jack only uses the sword in rare occasions, which means that, obviously, Jack is way better as an evil lord than him; the only reason why Jack isn’t defeated Aku yet it’s because taking his time is more fun for him and that pisses the hell of Aku.
  • So, of course, he wants to find a way to destroy Jack once and for all.
  • And one day he hears about a guy named Johnny Bravo.
  • Johnny, in this version, is a very rich, clever and suave handsome guy, and very successful with both man and woman.
  • He pretty much lives of the money of his many lovers and anyone who falls over his charisma.
  • (Yeah, he’s pretty much a “kept boy”, but he’s so insanly good at this that he never sleep with anyone he doesn’t find atractive, and the ones who are rejected by Johnny stay close to him.)
  • Aku calls him and offer him an insane amound of money if he finds out Jack’s weaknesses. By seducing him of course.
  • Johnny acepts because of the money (and the challenge) and start moving around in Jack’s social circle. Of course, Johnny catches Jack’s attention almost immediatly.
  • And one night Jack pays for Johnny’s drink and they end together alone, sittting in front of the counter of a bar drinking and flirting.
  • But then Johnny realises that Jack knows there’s something behind Johnny’s attention.
  • ”You are working for Aku”, “How do you know that?”, “Because we already ran into each other in other ocasions and you never talked to me”, “And?”, “And? I know you reputation, you never talk to someone unless you have a good reason, if you are talking to me right now it’s because you have some reason that encourage you, a big sum of money for example, a sum of money none that Aku could provide you”, “And yet you are still talking to me”, “And yet I’m still talking to you”.
  • They keep flirting for a while but when Johnny makes a move, Jack leaves the bar with his gang, but he still pays for Johnny’s drinks.
  • Next time they see each other is pretty much the same: they talk, drink and flirt, Johnny sugest they should go to Jack’s place and Jack rejects him, but he keep paying for Johnny’s drinks.
  • And miraculously (?) Johnny doesn’t sleep with anyone because he finds himself attracted to Jack and his dark charisma.
  • Doesn’t helps too much that they kiss one of those nights and after that, they kiss several times every time they ran into each other. And it’s so good…
  • Until one night Johnny proposes that they should go to Johnny’s place and finally, Jack says yes and they leave together.
  • After a long kissing session in Johnny’s apartment, Jack makes Johnny kneel and give him oral sex, and finds out that Johnny deserve every word of his reputation.
  • After that Jack takes him to the bed, returns the favor and later they finally sleep together.
  • (And since this is a sort of Reverse! AU Johnny is the bottom here, lol)
  • In the middle of the sex, Johnny confesses that Aku payed him to find out Jack’s weaknesses and Jack whispers something into Johnny’s ear.
  • After that they keep having sex and after each time Jack whispers something into Johnny’s ear.
  • Weeks later Aku shows up and demands to know Jack’s weaknesses.
  • Johnny sighs and says “listen man, I did as you ask me, and the guy DID told me some weaknesses, but they are so ridiculous that he obviously lied to me”, but Aku doesn’t care and demand a list of Jack’s weaknesses.
  • After read “If you cut my hair I loss my streght”, “my right heel is my weakness”, and some others like that, Aku convinces himself that Jack indeed lied to Johnny.
  • So he orders Johnny to keep doing whatever he must to find Jack’s weaknesses and Johnny is very happy with that.
  • So Jack and Johnny keep having sex but later they start to hang out outside the bedroom together again.
  • And one night there is a fight between Jack’s gang and some guys who are loyal to Aku and Johnny is there too.
  • The fight became pretty ugly quickly and Jack himself has to fight and even use his sword.
  • In the middle of the bloodbath Jack finds out that Johhny can fight too, and he’s very good.
  • Johnny fighting turns on Jack, and after the fight is over he takes Johnny to his place for the first time and they have one of the hottest sex sessions of their lives.
  • After that, Johnny practically moves to Jack’s place because Jack wants access to Johnny 24/7 ( ͡ ͡° ͜ ʖ ͡ ͡°)
  • And later Johnny starts to work in some missions in Jack’s gang, all by Jack’s insistence because he sees potential in Johnny.
  • One night, when Jack is asleep after the sex, Johnny realizes that Jack it’s been sharing real weaknesses to him, but mixed with fake ones.
  • After that Johnny starts a list of Jack’s potential weakness.
  • And he keep adding weaknesses to the list, until one day, in front of Jack, he throws the list into the fire. (And yes, they kiss and have sex)
  • After that Johnny officially became Jack’s boy toy, but also a valuable member of the gang, as a fighter and deal maker.
  • Of course Aku realizes that Johnny’s loyalties change, and that Jack’s gang is getting even more powerful thanks to Johnny and Aku becames FURIOUS.
  • And one day Aku finally explotes and he personally attacks Johnny.
  • Jack goes full rage and finally kills Aku for hurting Johnny. Luckily, Johnny survives Aku’s attacks.
  • After that, Jack takes over Aku’s empire and he and Johnny decided to stay together forever.

  • And that kids is how Evil Samurai Jack got himself and hot boyfriend thanks to Aku!