taking our loved ones for granted

Why there HAS to be a 4th episode or A quick reminder of everything that is fucky

I know that lately it has become difficult to keep believing in the existence of a fourth episode, one the fandom has decided to call the Lost Special. So this post has nothing but the goal to lay down the hard facts that prove not only the existence of that episode but also the necessity of it.

This is a collection of reasons why we believe in a Lost Special, all at the same place. No Arg, no speculations, no hard meta, just the irrefutable evidence we’ve gathered that shows how something is terribly wrong at the moment within the show itself. If someone starts doubting, this is supposed to remind them why we’re still in the expectative.

Tighten your belt, we’re going deep inside the show. It’s going to be long, and frankly not everything will make sense but that’s the point: nothing make sense otherwise.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

What are some of your favorite books currently?

Okay, so this question requires a bit of explanation of my reading habits. There are four types of books that I read: Dime Store Novels, of Literary Merit, Smart Books, and Reference Books.

Dime store novels: Books that are written to tell a story and just to tell a story. They’re not out to challenge the genre or blow our minds with inventive structure. Currently on my nightstand:

  • Patricia Briggs (Alpha and Omega series): Actually anything by Patricia Briggs. I love her. Everything she’s written is the sort of strong, female characters that I craved growing up.
  • Tamora Pierce (ALL): Same as above, she’s got wonderfully strong female characters and I love her.
  • Victoria Laurie (Ghost Hunter series): Simple, straight-forward series with exciting characters and premise! I read her books super fast, I’d say it takes me about two, three hours to read one of hers.
  • Mira Grant (Parasitology): She’s always so wonderful about building worlds through character/character relationships. Fun read, edge of the seat in a lot of ways, can’t wait to get to book two! Probably takes me 4-8 hours to read one book.

Of Literary Merit: Books that do defy genre, blow our minds, are probably going to win a handful of awards. Currently on my nightstand:

  • George Saunders (10th of December): One of my FAVE short story collections, it won something like…three? awards including like best short story collection of the year.
  • Celeste Ng (Everything I Never Told You): I actually don’t know if this has won an award but it was AMAZING NO SPOILERS GO READ IT
  • Flannery O’Connor (Wise Blood): I’m actually just starting this! I’ll keep you posted~
  • Jennifer Egan (A visit from the goon squad): One of my all time FAVES, got me into intertwining narrative, I love it.

Smart Books: Books that make me look very intelligent (or pretentious) when I go home for the holidays. They tend to be fairly controversial in subject matter and/or wildly misunderstood to be smart in the first place. Most of them I even like which is a bonus! My go to books:

  • Candide by Voltaire: Great book, hilarious and people think it’s not filled with A plus satire because Voltaire sounds very fancy.
  • The Dubliners by James Joyce: Short story collection of classic narrative, big themes of imminent death, man vs. nature, etc. 
  • The Lucifer Effect by Philip Zimbardo: About the Stanford Prison experiment. It’s okay, I don’t necessarily agree with the stance Dr. Zimbardo takes on his experiment/actions, but he doesn’t expect you too, I don’t think.

Reference Books: Books that I read over and over again because I WANT TO WRITE LIKE THAT:

  • American Gods by Neil Gaiman: What the fuck. What the fuck. The detail?????? The characters???? Shadow???? What the fuck.
  • Two or Three Things I Know for Sure by Dorothy Allison - I cry every time I read this book. It’s so raw and honest, it takes my breath away. Every time.
  • The Earth and Everything Underneath by K.M Ferebee: So gorgous, the imagery is incredible and it’s about witches. It’s actually a short story that you can read here (X) and I really recommend you check out Shimmer in general because it’s a great magazine.

As always, there’s a ton more that I enjoy, but these are in my rotation right now! Ask me again in a month and they’ll be all different.

Long distance relationships are hard.

Really hard.

And no one else quite understands.

There are more reasons to fight, to cry, to break up.

But distance also gives us a reason to love harder than any other couple should.

To fight harder, because in the end, we have something gain.

We have miles to fight through, and closeness to fight for.

We put our entire beings into these relationships, and although we may not hold hands as often, or hugs as often, or touch lips often, we will never take those things granted.

Each touch is special, each kiss cherished.

We may be separated by space and time, but the bond between couples who push through the hardest of time is the strongest.

There may be miles between, but there is no one closer.

It’s amazing the things you realise when you lose someone. You get mad at yourself for not saying the things you could’ve a million times, you take for granted the days spent doing nothing when you could have been with them. Anyone can be taken, at any time in our lives, but we always wait until they’re gone to say the things we never had the courage to before.
—  Melody Carlson

I have questions, like many before me and many more shall have, after I have departed this physical being you have granted me.


Am I one of the creatures without a soul, for there are days when I feel empty and add nothing to this world in which I reside? Shall, I forever be empty?


I cannot fathom the words that leave our tongues in hope of reaching your ears. I can only hope mine do and whose wishes do you grant? Am I not one of your “favoured children?”


Am I not worthy of your love because I pray for darkness whereas the others pray for light? I live and breathe for solitude, but others ask for you to shed light on their path. Do I not deserve your compassion because my mind remains focussed in chaos or do you only answer those who seek peace? I pray for rain when others look for sunshine to grace every step they take. Does this make me unworthy? Whose words do you notice?


If and when my words arrive at your doorstep, I shall have more questions. I am grateful for this life I have lived, wasted away and all the unfulfilled dreams and expectations that sit with me, but why me? Why do you not grant life to those whose smiles shall light up the world, not ones who are yet to repent for his sins?


I see you in the darkness where I choose to live. Perhaps, I simply do not believe and I may not until I have the answers. Maybe, I am not the child I was meant to be when I entered this world.

—  Navin E. (a letter to God)

anonymous asked:

Hi! I really love your blog!! I just feel like recently the fandom has felt discouraging especially with hearing how bap are so underrated and just might not make it to the top anymore. I'm so worried about their future in the industry and really hope they will stay as 6 and as bap. Just hearing the news of sistar disbanding and groups in Kpop disbanding its very worrisome. I feel like even the fandom feels bap will die quickly in the music scene. What are your thought? Hope I'm not bothering u!

I always say this but OF COURSE YOU’RE NOT BOTHERING ME! Thank you for being so kind about my silly little blog - i’m so happy you enjoy my constant on-the-verge-of-hysteria B.A.P-stanning ^^

Hmm..my understanding of the very recent BABY dilemma (and maybe every BABY dilemma lol) is that it stems from the fact that BABYz are fiercely loyal people with soft, easily-hurt hearts. But I kind of like that, because to me it means that even fans that mete out the harshest, most unfair-sounding criticism of our boys do it from a place of genuine concern, about their health, their mental well-being, the prejudices (real or perceived) they might face, and of course, their long-term career prospects. 

We are the very definition of the angsty teenager. We love hard, we are good people, we surround ourselves with good people but no one seems to care about any of this, they don’t even care to know. So, like any textbook teen, we take that neglect, that negativity, and turn in inwards: “They don’t like me, so there must be something wrong with me.” 

They don’t pay attention to B.A.P, so what are the boys/fans/TS doing wrong?” 

And my answer to this is simple, don’t sell our boys down the river, don’t take what they have achieved for granted. I say this constantly, but if you are fan who lived through the lawsuit you know, we lost them, they were gone, we had almost no hope. And then somehow they were back. They’re dropping albums (good albums) every other day, they’re doing music shows, variety shows, musicals (!!), producing, choreography, world tours (that are actually world tours), they win awards and top charts worldwide and they achieved all of this on their own terms, and in such a tightly controlled industry this is rare, to say the least. Could things be easier? Yes, but life doesn’t work like that, for anybody.

Honestly, I’m thankful everyday that this is their life, their career. They get all the perks of being an established, respected, popular (yes, popular) group without many of the pitfalls that come with immense, uncontrollable fame. 

B.A.P have so much more to offer than simply being trendy or popular, they are so much more than that. Things can go from 0 to 100 to 0 again, but talent and hard work will always be appreciated in the end. I sincerely believe that.

People always cite NOIR as the perfect example of their talent being ‘slept on’ and they’re right, of course they’re right…but I don’t care. The fact they got to make NOIR - or Carnival or Kingdom or ROSE - is a miracle itself. What magnificent pieces of artistry, and we get to listen to them everyday, ten times a day if we want. We’re so lucky, and the boys seem happy and so that’s it. Those two things are totally enough for full, rich, stan life ^^

The most important thing is that they’re here, we’re here, and we have this time. Why waste it worrying about the wholly unpredictable future? Trust Yongguk when he says, one way or another, “the 6 of us will always be together.

I have never needed articles, awards or opinions to validate my love for B.A.P and especially their music. It sounds naive, but my key to a happy fan life is to simply support them, in any way you can and things will work themselves out.  

So just enjoy it, enjoy every tweet, every Insta post, every vlive, MV, album, live performance, every solo, everything - wrap yourself in a blanket of B.A.P.

And stay there, where it’s safe and warm ^^

😩Season 7, last season?

😐 my face when they say scandal couldn’t make it to another season ummmm Scandal could have gone the distance if Shonda hadn’t played herself. She came up with these big storylines(b613, election rigging, Liv getting kidnapped, new illuminate) and now she can’t keep up with what she started. Scandal was good when we had cases and Olivia was being a badass and handling shit! Don’t tell me Scandal couldn’t have done more look at Law and Order: SVU, they basically have the same format every episode and people still watch! People still watching Grey after 13 seasons 🙄 And I saw somewhere she said she could only do “Olivia and Fitz” thing before ppl get tired of it (or some to that effect) uhhhhh stop the lies! I’m only watching scandal because of Olitz and just because they get together doesn’t mean it has to be the end of the show. Nor does it mean in a whole episode you have to show us olitz from beginning to end. My thing is we have been wanting to see them together, like actually together. You don’t have to give it to us in one go 🙄let us see them date! We were robbed of that one damn date we got 😤 I need to see some flirting hell! Some! 😂😂 And honestly I don’t mind that she wanted other characters to shine but the way she went about it 😒. For example Mellie, this woman ain’t never did anything in politics except that one time she stood up for that bill but yet we suppose to rally behind her to be the next president… where are her credentials ? Where 👏🏽are 👏🏽Mellies 👏🏽receipts👏🏽 ? It’s crazy how shonda let Mellie do Olivia but she turned around and needed her for EVERYTHING! She couldn’t get Fitz to do shit… she calling Olivia! She need a favor or help she calling Olivia! Mellie real deal thought Olivia was her “clean up woman” bitch this ain’t the help! I’m sorry but I could never get behind Mellivia 🗣ISSA NO. As a woman I can’t fuck with another woman(Mellie) who tries to shit on other women(Olivia) and then have the nerve to need her 😂 if I was Olivia I would have been went in on Mellie ass! Another example Pete Harris … I mean Jake Ballard 🙃 he could never compare to Fitz but it’s amazing how he tried to slither his way in every chance he got. Shonda real deal forced me to watch Scott fooley just because she killed him off her other show 😂😂😂! Jake was and still is weak, pathetic, jealous, toxic ass individual. He was programmed to “love” Olivia because Rowan “made him” 👈🏽 Rowan said these words to Olivia himself, he knew, she knew, hell we all knew it was not real. Olivia never told him she loved him and he said it to her how many times 😎 aw ok then‼️ Jake was suppose to take Fitz place in our hearts but we weren’t having that shit! There is only one Leading man of Scandal and that’s Fitzgerald Thomas Grant III (Tony G). Anyways I’m sad because I really love this show. Scandal is the first Tv show I’ve ever got so invested in 😢 I’m gonna enjoy it til the end, hopefully Shonda do it justice. I feel like we should get an Olitz wedding and realistically they would live in Georgetown because we know our Livvie is a working woman she not bout to go and live a housewife type of life. They gone vacation at the home in Vermont 🤗 because that’s our special place. That’s how she needs to wrap up Olitz all the other stuff she can do whatever with Fitz not in the White House no more so I’m not gonna be interested in anybody else being president so she might as well get a new format for season 7 😂😂 but whatever she do I’m watching cuz I love scandal even when I don’t agree with everything it’s still my favorite show because of Kerry, Tony and Olitz 😍 with they cute asses, my precious OTP and I’m still gonna write my fanfics because I love this couple.

Originally posted by scandalkraze

A really long message @ the VLD fandom

OK but seriously though, I’m just going down the Voltron page and everyone is either complaining about Shallura dying, Allura’s ethnicity and age, Keith getting more screen time than the other paladins, or Anti-Shaladin and I’m just…Guys come on. 

Seriously, I actually have never scrolled through a page on Tumblr and seen so many complaints and shipping discourses by a fandom. I get it, not everyone is happy with what’s going on, I’m going to be honest I’m not either, I’ve felt off by a few things too. And it’s OK to have an opinion, that’s a natural part of life, but when it involves becoming an ignorant anti bent on hating every last thing in the show, I feel like that’s when we need to draw the line, stop, step back and ask ourselves: “What are we doing?”

I feel like we’re expecting too much from this show, and we’re not taking it for what it is. This show is so pure and good and I think we honestly take it for granted. The creators do what they do for this fandom, for the people watching, they spend so much of their time creating this, putting everything into this work ALL FOR US and we all just seem to hate it just because some things don’t go our way. 

We need to start appreciating more and stop hating so much, this is honestly one of my favourite shows of all time because of this fandom. I love seeing theories, head canons, gifs, and all of these amazing posts about it, I love seeing how invested everyone is. 

But I think we need to take a step back and realize what we’re doing. I know not everyone is going to agree with everything, that’s just realistic. But have you heard the saying think before you speak? That’s what I’m trying to say, we need to think about all of this hate and discourse were spreading like wildfire through our posts. Do you know how the VAs and creators probably feel seeing and being involved in some of the stuff that’s going on? We need to think about them, we need to respect them and this show, we need to have faith in the creators and stop sprinting to conclusions about everything, then turning it into a full out discourse war. They never have the intention to cause such a rif between us guys, we just do it to ourselves and then pin the blame on them. They love this fan base. We’re such an awesome fandom, but we need to start showing that more. 

And I was honestly thinking, this may be cheesy, but I feel like we should just dedicate a day to express how grateful we are towards everyone involved in the show. Express our love for them through our posts and show them how amazing of a fan base we are. Show them what amazing people they are, appreciate them, appreciate Voltron. Do it every June 10th, because that’s when the first season premiered. We just need to show them our love for once, not our hate. 

Your Majesties,
Your Royal Highnesses,
Excellencies,

Dear family and friends


A wise man – and that is not myself! – once said:

“Inside every old person is a young person wondering what happened.”  

That is how I feel today. I look at the number 80, and I cannot really understand that it has got anything to do with me. At least nothing to do with the Queen – who is incredibly fit!

I have had a hard time catching up with her for a long time already!  

But fortunately – after almost 50 years of marriage, we are still in this together. We work together, we share experiences, we face worries and joys together.

So tonight is an evening for gratitude.

The Queen and I want to thank every one of you who are here tonight to share this celebration with us. A special thank you to those of you who have travelled far.
We appreciate it deeply.

Many of us gathered here are members of the same European family, we are friends – and colleagues. I believe it is valuable for all of us who are in the “royal profession” to come together – also across generations – and discuss matters of common concern. We are living in uncertain times, and in societies with fast changes. Especially in times like these, we should value and nourish long standing and deep relations like ours.  

Celebrating our 80th anniversary is nothing we take for granted.

We are blessed with good health.

We are blessed with a wonderful family.

We are blessed with loyal friends who have stood by our side through ups and downs.

And we are blessed with a meaningful life in service for our country and our people.

What more can we wish for?

Tonight, I hope we can be together in a spirit of gratitude for life.

Every day is a gift that we should never take for granted.

Every day is an opportunity to do good.

Every day we can be there for our loved ones.

And we can acknowledge those who need to be seen.
                                       

So dear friends, a warm welcome to all of you – and thank you again for being here.
I hope we will all have a good time together.    


Skål, and welcome!

—  His Majesty King Harald V welcome speech at the start of the gala dinner celebrating his 80th birthday.
Raise Hell - (Negan Fic) Chapter 1: People Like That

Summary: Doveport is a little community just trying to survive in the apocalypse. Elle finally feels like she’s found a home…and then she meets Negan.

Characters: Negan x Elle 

Word Count: 3,186

Warning: No warnings for this chapter (gotta introduce everyone!), but this fic is going to be a dark one. And it’s a slow burn

Author’s Note: I’m so excited to finally share this multi chapter fic with you. I’ve had this idea in my head for months and to get it started feels really good right about now. As of this moment, I have approximately 20 chapters outlined for it and hope I can do Negan’s character justice in this fic. There will be romance. There will be heartache. I will try and update as often as possible. Please let me know what you think! You can message me anytime!

You can also read this fic on AO3.

Huge thank you to @ashzombie13 and @my-achilles–heel for being my beta readers!

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UGH. This is just aggravating. How can anyone want Stefan to be with Elena after all the pain she put him through? This is a rhetorical question, btw. Do you really believe he’d ever be able to forgive and forget how she dumped him for his brother and progressively hurt him because she was a selfish wench? That is honestly beyond me. 

I know that Caroline and Stefan weren’t the OTP from the beginning (I don’t watch this show religiously, but that much I am sure of) but I can absolutely believe that Stefan and Caroline fell in love with each other after they healed. During that dance when Caroline told Stefan that he was going to fall in love again without even noticing it, I definitely spotted the writers’ intention of making Caroline/Stefan happen. Julie Plec and co. are far from qualifying as my favorite writers, but the one writing decision I was 100% behind, was having Stefan move on and fall in love again instead of having him throw away his dignity and taking Elena back. We have many ‘true loves’ in our lives. After all, when we love someone, that is our so called ‘true love’ at that moment, isn’t it? Generally, the first person we fall in love isn’t our forever; but when we first fall in love with them, it feels that way. At that moment we hope that that one person will be with us forever. Luckily, there’s always the possibility of another chance, if the first one doesn’t pan out.

Elena was Stefan’s true love during the first seasons, but she took him for granted and hurt him. Caroline and Stefan grew closer during the second half of the show, and despite the bad writing, they built a strong friendship and fell in love. Caroline is Stefan’s second ‘true love’ (in the sense that he had two important relationships that lasted for a long time, and Caroline was the second one) and there is NOTHING wrong with that. Like Stefan said, his relationship with Caroline can be much better than the relationships in his past. It may be healthier and give him happiness. 

Stefan and Caroline prove that you can fall in love with the person you least expected, at the moment you least expected. They are probably the saving grace of the entire show because they were the best decision JP&co ever made. They saved Stefan from becoming just a side of a love triangle who would be suffering and pining for the girl who chose his brother. *shudders*  

So, stop clogging the tag with “Elena is Stefan’s true love” yadda, yadda, yadda. It’s true that she was, but it’s over. Stefan deserves better. AND… don’t even get me started on the unhealthy disaster that is Klaroline. I believe they are pretty self-explanatory, TBH. Caroline deserves better. 

On another note, Caroline & Stefan’s wedding was the most aestethically pleasing wedding I’ve ever seen on my screen. Just SO breathtakingly beautiful. Stefan was very handsome and Caroline was just drop dead gorgeous. I fell in love with her look and dress.     

Anyways, whatever happens with this couple, they were wonderful to watch.💜        

We enter as lords of the earth bearing strange powers of terror and mercy alike … But Human beings should love animals as the knowing love the innocent, and the strong love the vulnerable. When we wince at the suffering of animals, that feeling speaks well of us even when we ignore it, and those who dismiss love for our fellow creatures as mere sentimentality overlook a good and important part of our humanity. But it takes nothing away from a human to be kind to an animal. And it is actually within us to grant them a happy life … and a long one. On the heath, King Lear asked Gloucester: “How do you see the world?” And Gloucester, who is blind, answered: “I see it feelingly”. I see it feelingly. Three primary life forces exist on this planet: Nature, Animals and Humankind. We are the Earthlings. Make the connection. Go vegan.
—  Earthlings
Burdens of Blood - Chapter One

Fandom: Vikings

Pairing: Ivar x OC

Chapter Summary: Princess Thea of Essex is promised to the king of Sussex, but the northmen arrive before the alliance can be fulfilled.

Warnings: Mild-violence, blood

Notes: I surrendered to a multi-chapter fic and I’m really excited. There’s not much interaction in this chapter, I tried to explain the max (and give a few tips) about the plot, pls bare with me. Let me know what y’all think :)



I sat quietly at the edge of the table, feeling like the head of a wild animal about to be sold for the highest price. My hands were cold and sweaty and there was a bitter taste in my mouth. I have always feared this day. The day I would lose my minimal freedom, that my life would leave a man’s hand just to pass to anoter’s.  And yet, all I’d do would be stand silent, the lack of control under my own life making my skin tingle.

My father, King Archibald of Essex, had spent hours telling me how important it was for our kingdom, for our people. In my heart, I knew he was right, and that is why I couldn’t refuse it, couldn’t run away from it. My duty is more important than my freedom. My blood is my curse.

All because of the northmen and their greedy violence. If it wasn’t for them I would have more time, perhaps even have the chance to marry by love. I could’ve been happy and they took it away from me. And for that, I hated them with all the stength in my body.

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10

Can we just talk about how spoiled we are? We asked just for one selfie and our sugar daddy gives us 10 FUCKING PICTURES !!!!! I’m still so shoook and this happened yesterday 😫😭😭😭😭😭❤❤❤❤ I’m so glad Jay is back

10 Things Girls Who Have Lost Their Dads Want You To Know

To our friends, these are the things we want you to know.

1. We’re sorry.

We are sorry for being quiet every time you talk about your dad to us. We don’t mean to sound uninterested or make you feel that your happiness is unimportant to us. It’s just that when you talk about moments with your dad, it takes us back to moments with ours. Moments we wish we could relive and share with you, too. We don’t get quiet on purpose; it kind of just happens. It’s our mind’s way of protecting us from bursting out in tears.

2. Ask about our dad.

We want to share him with the world and when you ask about him, it fills our heart with so much joy to know that someone is actually interested in knowing him like we did. You’ll just have to excuse us as we talk through the tears.

3. Please don’t try to understand our heartache.

We appreciate the effort, we really do. But the truth is, unless you’ve lost a parent, you truly can’t understand.

4. Listen.

That’s the best thing you can do for us. When we have a bad day and need to talk to someone, be that someone. You don’t even have to say much, just reassure us every once in a while that you are still hearing us.

5. Please, please, please don’t take your dad for granted.

We love you and we don’t want you to feel our pain someday. Please don’t just assume he will be there for you to call tomorrow. Call him today. Right now. Don’t wait until it’s too late and then spend their rest of your life hating yourself for it.

6. Make memories.

Don’t have time? Bullshit. Make time. You always have time for the ones you love. It’s there; it just has to be utilized.

7. ALWAYS tell him you love him.

I don’t care if you two just got in a screaming fight and you feel in that moment you hate him. You don’t. I promise in a few hours you’ll realize how ridiculous it was to even think of the H word. Before you walk out that door or hang up that phone, say it.

8. Forgive us. We are broken.

Sometimes that shows a little more than usual. When our dad’s left this earth, they took pieces of our heart and soul with them. On occasion those pieces feel as though they are slowly being glued back together. But then there are the times when they feel like they are being ripped apart in shreds. This may bring out a side of us we aren’t used to. If there are times when we may not seem like our normal selves, please understand we are grieving immensely. Losing someone of such importance changes a person. We are being molded into a new place in our lives. It’s a slow process and a fragile one. Please, forgive us.

 9. We are here for you, too.

When that unfortunate day comes about when you lose one of your parents, we are here. Day or night. Rain or shine. Just call us and we’ll be there. We know all too well the pain you are enduring and we will do everything in our power to comfort you.

10. We are jealous of you.

I’m willing to admit it, and I’m sure others are, too. We are so jealous that you still have your dad in your life that we have to put the brakes on the eye rolls that are ferociously trying to take over. We don’t mean to feel this way. It seems so selfish, and in a way, it is. You have to understand, we are experiencing feelings we’ve never felt before and trying to find ways to cope.

Deep down, we are happy for you. It’s just every time we read a text or a Facebook post about how your dad made you laugh, or how he is going to walk you down the aisle at your wedding, it’s like another slap in our face. Now please understand, we don’t want you to stop sharing these beautiful moments just to appease us. In fact, we need the opposite. By you sharing moments with your dad, you are helping us come to terms with the loss of ours.

We will eventually get used to it and the feelings won’t be so evil. We will finally realize that just because we lost our dad and we are filled with sadness, doesn’t mean everyone else should be, too. The jealousy will always be there. But instead of the eye rolls, there will be a smile. A smile meant for you from our hearts. A smile that says we are thankful you aren’t experiencing our pain and you still get to make memories with the first man to have your heart.


( bias list? pffft, more like a lame appreciation post! wow, so um, i never really thought i’d reach this far with say’ri?? i remember back in october of last year, i decided merely on a whim to play an obscure character in the fire emblem franchise… especially since i felt like i couldn’t do any other muse justice at the time and the fact i’ve been wanting to be a part of the fandom back while i had been an observer as an oc whom some of you might know by the url of unladylikc. 

true, now that i’ve been in it, i do recognize the fact that it is less than perfect, realistically speaking? but all the same, however, it will always hold a precious place in my heart for it is the first fandom i’ve ever really joined and where i met some of the most talented writers that i had the fortune of writing with. anyways, i had always been such an insecure little bean, that more often than not, i would question if i truly belonged here.

by now of course, i kinda know my doubts are unfounded and i want to thank everyone for sticking with me through thick and thin. like i have oftentimes been saying, say’ri is a difficult muse to play, yet you all put up with that, despite my initial portrayal being a shaky one. well, before i start delving into a long winded speech, i think i’m just going to get on with addressing/mentioning cool folks beneath the cut… though do keep in mind i’m just going off by memory here for this list, so forgive me if i forget anyone. )

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anonymous asked:

I'm just thinking about louis & crying blood. he adores us. Hes the most vocal about his love for us, always the first one to clap along and agree when interviewers say we're the best, always reminds the boys to thank us for awards if they forget, always praising our teamwork. He never takes us for granted and after everything he's been through he always makes sure to let us know how much he appreciates us. It's one of the only reasons I sick around. He makes it worth it bc he's such a good 💙

He’s so so so important and lovely. 💙💙

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NEW-ISH RELEASE 17 pt. 5 on Spotify

You deserve to feel safe and sound inside the sound. To feel understood, or at home, or camouflaged. I’ve found the only place I’ll ever really feel invincible is right there inside the noise. No one will ever be able to take that from me. No one will ever be able to take your sound away from you. You’ll always be safe there. Thank you so much for lending us your ears to our new tunes. Something special is happening. Here’s some tunes for you to hideout, get lost, or wig out to. Don’t take your noise for granted. Only love.

-john

Earlier today, a friend remarked: “I don’t understand. The way you are reacting, it’s almost like you knew someone in the club.”

Here’s the thing you need to understand about every LGBT person in your family, your work, and your circle of friends:

We’ve spent most of our lives being aware that we are at risk.

When you hear interviewers talking to LGBT folks and they say “It could have been here. It could have been me,” they aren’t exaggerating. I don’t care how long you’ve been out, how far down your road to self acceptance and love you’ve traveled, we are always aware that we are at some level of risk.

I’m about as “don’t give a shit what ANYONE thinks” as anyone you’ll ever meet… and when I reach to hold Matt’s hand in the car? I still do the mental calculation of “ok, that car is just slightly behind us so they can’t see, but that truck to my left can see right inside the car”. If I kiss Matt in public, like he leaned in for on the bike trail the other day, I’m never fully in the moment. I’m always parsing who is around us and paying attention to us. There’s a tension that comes with that… a literal tensing of the muscles as you brace for potential danger. For a lot of us, it’s become such an automatic reaction that we don’t even think about it directly any more. We just do it.

And then… over the last few years, it started to fade a little. It started to feel like maybe things were getting better. A string of Supreme Court decisions. Public opinion shifting to the side of LGBT rights. Life was getting better. You could breathe a little bit.

What happened with this event is dramatically demonstrated by how Matt and I are reacting to it. Matt came out fairly late, during the golden glow of the changing tide. He’s never dealt with something like this. It’s literally turned him inside out emotionally because all that stuff he read about that was just “then” became very much “NOW”. For me, I’ve had some time to adjust to the idea that people hate us enough to kill us. Matthew Shephard was my first real lesson in that. So this weekend was a sudden slap in the face, a reminder that I should never have let my guard down, should never have gotten complacent… because it could have been US.

Every LGBT person you know knows what I’m talking about. Those tiny little mental calculations we do over the course of our life add up… and we just got hit with a stark reminder that those simmering concerns, those fears… they probably won’t ever go away. We’ll never be free of them. Additionally, now we just got a lesson that expressing our love could result in the deaths of *others* completely unrelated to us. It’s easy to take risks when it’s just you and you’ve made that choice. Now there’s this subtext that you could set off someone who kills other people who weren’t even involved. And that’s just a lot.

That’s why I’m personally a bit off balance even though (or because, depending on how you look at it) I live in Texas and was not personally affected by this tragedy. Don’t get me wrong: nothing will change. I will still hold my husband’s hand in public. I will still kiss him in public. We’ll still go out and attend functions and hold our heads high.

But we will be doing those mental calculations for the rest of our lives. Those little PDAs you take for granted with your spouse. They come with huge baggage for us. Every single one is an act of defiance, with all that entails.

So do me a favor. Reach out to that LGBT person in your life. Friend, co-worker, or family. Just let them know you are thinking of them and you love them. That will mean the world to them right now. I promise you.