taking a joke

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This would be my Aladdin skelly’s theme song tbh ppftt-

@yurarat She’d annoy the hhECK outta these jerks if she tried stealing from em’ tbh hahHA-

(She’s like- 5′4 or somethin’- not that much shorter than these bois ppftt-)

also that’s my height omg hhaha hECK

i found a club that is exclusively for lesbians. i build it deep in a forest, so that the straights don’t find it. the opening night is a hit. the waiting line is huge. the lesbians are pouring in, the spirits are high, everyones having fun and making friends. suddenly there’s a commotion at the door. “sorry sir, we can’t let you in. this is for lesbians exclusively you see,” says the manager apologetically. “let him in,” i say, “its okay. he’s with us.” by he i mean hozier. he walks in with a guitar case slung over his shoulder and a flower crown on his head. he smiles at me sadly and i feel like he understands. i don’t know what, but he understands. i drink more wine and ignore the tightness in my chest. on the stage, hozier strums his guitar.

me: hey have you heard this new pop song-

21p fan: pop music😤🙅? I only✔️👆listen🗣👂real music🎶 ukulele2️⃣1️⃣screamo😝its art🎨🎼clique👌as frick💯🙊depression❤️suicide💕💕stay street💪✌️
Shit Slytherins Say: #100
  • Slytherin: "Why did the chicken cross the road?"
  • Gryffindor: "Seriously?"
  • Slytherin: "To Get to the ugly witches house."
  • Gryffindor: "I don't get it."
  • Slytherin: "Knock knock."
  • Gryffindor: "Who's there?"
  • Slytherin: "The chicken"
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Doyoung “mom” protecting the kids 24/7  👨‍👦👦   

so there’s been a fair amount of discussion on harry’s lyrics, both here and from reviews, but i thought i would make a handy guide on the REAL meaning behind the songs on the album, Harry Styles by Harry Styles, otherwise known as Emotional Erection:

meet me in the hallway: im sad

sign of the times: ????   ?? …… ??????? ?

carolina: party antics 

two ghosts: still sad

sweet creature: i can be a nice wholesome boy when i want to be

only angel: im a sub

kiwi: im still a sub

ever since new york: im sad yet again

woman: to the surprise of no one, im still a sub

from the dining table: i like to cry and jerk off, in no particular order. maybe even simultaneously