i found a club that is exclusively for lesbians. i build it deep in a forest, so that the straights don’t find it. the opening night is a hit. the waiting line is huge. the lesbians are pouring in, the spirits are high, everyones having fun and making friends. suddenly there’s a commotion at the door. “sorry sir, we can’t let you in. this is for lesbians exclusively you see,” says the manager apologetically. “let him in,” i say, “its okay. he’s with us.” by he i mean hozier. he walks in with a guitar case slung over his shoulder and a flower crown on his head. he smiles at me sadly and i feel like he understands. i don’t know what, but he understands. i drink more wine and ignore the tightness in my chest. on the stage, hozier strums his guitar.
“Are you eating well? Don’t overwork yourself. Did you sleep? Do you feel threatened by anything? You can talk to me. Guys is it just us or does Jimin look 0.1 kg thinner?”
SUGA’S FANS: THE LITIGIOUS PERSONA
“WE WERE ATTACKED, MISTREATED AND DISRESPECTED. LET’S SUE HIM NOW! HOW DARE HE BE SO PERFECT”
JHOPE’S FANS: THE SCREAMERS PERSONA
“JHOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOoooooooOOOOOOOPE”. they are also the ones who sometimes dress strangely at concerts and events!
JIN’S FANS: THE PROTESTORS PERSONA
In the name of more lines and Jin’s beautiful lips, we will fight the world and BIGS#IT for KIM SEOKJIN!
JUNGKOOK’S FANS: THE FIGHTERS PERSONA
“OPPA? U MAD?” “CAN WE ARM WRESTLE?” “YOU ARE A KID! DO KID THINGS YOU *insert curses* but we still love you” “OMG he is so cute. I want to kick him in the face"
V: THE WEIRDOS IN DENIAL PERSONA
NO! He is not real. He can’t be real! Is he real? Oh, look at his feet *save in gallery* Oh look at his tummy *zooms in and giggles* Oh look -insert a weird body part- *takes a screenshot*.
RM: THE CRY BABIES PERSONA
Namjoon just needs to say something for them to cry. Most of the time they don’t even know what he is saying but they are always like “That was SO deep just like YOUR DIMPLES WHERE I WANT TO JUMP IN, TAKE IT OFF AND NEVER GET OUT *sobs* Namjoon is such a genius”