do you work at one of those fancy startups that has like beer delivered every friday and hammocks in the hallways
We have beer (wine/scotch/vodka/sake/whatever) every Friday, no hammocks but we have a fish tank with lots of cool fish in it? We also have a real kitchen and 3 showers because our office is literally just an apartment building. Norman Reedus lives in the penthouse.
I’ll star in a powerfully erotic movie with Bobby Cannavale, but at the premiere I’ll tell the press, despite the fact that “he’s so talented and gorgeous and Italian and he’s hung like a blue whale and we had this crazy hot chemistry,” that we could never date because he’s too old for me. Two weeks later I will be spotted canoodling on the beach in Coney Island with Al Pacino. He’s in a three piece suit, I’m in a sundress, and we cuddle in a lounge chair as I read him ‘50 Shades of Grey’ in a sexy baby voice.
Me, talking to Kim about how Bradley Cooper never stops singing Jennifer Lawrence’s praises, but also says he wouldn’t date her because she’s too young, then turns around and starts dating a 21 year old model with whom he was recently photographed in a public park in Paris - she was looking like 50 shades of jailbait and sat in his lap as he read her Lolita.