takens

Alexander: Alright, give me your hair dryer.

Angelica: What are you talking about?

Alexander: Don’t you carry one in your purse?

Angelica: Have you ever met a human woman?

*Later that day*

Alexander: Hey, do you carry a hair dryer in your purse?

Peggy: Of course, I’m not an animal.

Phillip: Mommy you look so pretty!

Eliza: Am I pretty without any makeup on too.

Phillip: Yes! Mommy is the most beautiful lady ever with or without makeup!

Eliza: Aww.

Phillip: But daddy could use some.

Alexander: …

Drop Everything Now (Meet Me in the Pouring Rain)

Summary: Phil never planned for a rainstorm to intrude on Dan’s second ever visit to Manchester–but maybe that’s exactly what they need to push them closer than ever.

Rating: G

Word Count: 5108

Warnings: vv light hurt/comfort

A/N: Literally when I saw the art for this fic, I just knew I had to write it–cuddly 2009!phan on a rainy day? Sign me the heck up!! Huge thanks to Jess @furryhowell for the simple yet wonderful idea and Courtney @danceswithsweaters for her lovely support when I got stuck and for giving this fic the finishing polish it needed–and both for putting up with my busy procrastinating ass! You can find Jess’ fantastic art here and I really hope that you love it as much as I do because it’s the softest damn thing I’ve ever seen and I can’t not scream about it. I hope you enjoy!!

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anonymous asked:

I need more hilariously dysfunctional/stupid Hive in my life.

Ah nonny, the misadventures of Yuryx the Knight and Urnax the Wizard! Why not, let’s have a bash at part two. Part one is here.

And because I love combining things, one of my friends (who shall remain nameless lolol) slid into my DMs last night with “So speaking of Hive husbands, how bout that Oryx he could be nice.” 

Well. We’re going Full (SFW) Size Kink here folks. 

The Misadventures of Yuryx and Urnax, Part II

Yuryx and Urnax had never been on the Dreadnaught before and they held hands, trembling. They hadn’t meant for things to go so far. They hadn’t meant to be found out

It had all started so innocently. They’d just wanted to know what “bottle caps” were for. Why the “radio” made hissy noises. But then the Guardian they’d kidnapped had befriended them and brought them more human trinkets to play with. What fun it was! 

Until Oryx, the Taken King, found out, and now he was very angry with them.

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