take this text off

[Unable to find Steve, Bucky or T’Challa] 

Natasha: Well, this calls for drastic measures. *proceeds to yank Tony’s pants down, causing Tony to shriek and Clint to scream in the distance*

Tony: Why the fuck -

Natasha: *cups her hands together* Tony has his pants down!

[sound of a stampede getting closer, children screaming, babies crying, women fainting, and men turning gay as Steve, Bucky & T’Challa run towards them]

Natasha: There they are. 

Tony: *glaring and struggling to pull his pants back up* Couldn’t you have done that without actually pulling my pants down? 

Natasha: I like the view.

i don’t care about waking up to a person i love, i wanna wake up to a new song of my favorite artist for the rest of my life

I alternate between drawing the Batter with hair and without as the picture demands and I was talking to my sister about it once and she’s pretty sure he’s bald and while that makes sense I still picture what he’d look like if you removed his hat then and I’m just like

Put it back.

TEXT MEMES (SOME NSFW).

  • [text]: did you enjoy the pics? ;)
  • [text]: send me pictures
  • [text]: where are you? why aren’t you back yet?
  • [text]: I SWEAR TO GOD I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU
  • [text]: i dont know if this is what i want anymore
  • [wrong number text]: (muse name) has gone out for the night, i’m all alone ;)
  • [wrong number text]: i just don’t know if i love them anymore
  • [wrong number text]: can we forget about last night? don’t tell (muse name) please!
  • [wrong number text]: i fucked her/him aha ;-) told (muse name) it was just a drunk kiss tho
  • [text]: i love you so fucking much
  • [text]: i hate you
  • [drunk text]: UR SUCH A BITCH I H9 U 
  • [text]: i cannot stop thinking about you
  • [text]: i need you. now.
  • [text]: please respond. im so worried about you
  • [text]: last night was so GOOD
  • [text]: what are you wearing? ;)
  • [text]: is he bigger than me?
  • [text]: did you sleep with her ?!
  • [text]: you’re just a slut
  • [drunk text]: yOU’RE SO BEAUTIFUL !!>!
  • [drunk text]: dont tell (muse name) but theY ARE so hot
  • [drunk text]: im iss youu
  • [text]: bed or floor? ;-)
  • [text]: not to be desperate or anything but im currently home alone and on the verge of jerking myself off to pictures of you. would be better if it was the real you though !
  • [text]: i want you naked.
  • [text]: are you going to the party on saturday?
  • [text]: i want to show you how much i love you
  • [text]: do you hate me?
  • [text]: i’m so sorry
  • [text]: WAS THAT A SEXT
  • [text]: family dinner tomorrow night, and i’m prolly gonna finger you under the table..
  • [text]: I just bought new underwear for the sole purpose of you taking it off
  • [text]: netflix and chill? 
  • [drunk text]: lveae me alone for 29 minutes !!! jeezss
  • [text]: damn you looked so good today. kinda wanted to bend you over that table you were leaning on lol 
  • [text]: where are you i have something you need to fix (its a boner)
  • [text]: wtf is the notebook even about?? “if you’re a bird then i’m a bird” ? they’re both humans

theres mold in my shoes, mold in a lil soup bowl koozie i use, mold on the wall behind where i hang my bath towel to dry, and some sort of … black growing substance… that accumulates on my sports bottle, but tbh i just kinda wipe that off every now and then & keep using it. whatever it is, it aint harmin me, and i feel like we’re in a symbiotic relationship. the other stuff can go to hell though

anyways my point is: mold is consuming my life and fuck this damp moist dorm room

Dianne Bentley saved receipts, helped take down her cheating governor husband.

The text copy, of course, leaves out all pics and formatting, (not to mention being unnecessarily laborious and time-wasting) but you can google a sentence or two to find the source (mic.com).

“When male politicians do shitty things, their wives are generally expected to stand quietly and supportively behind them, in press conferences and in life.

Not Dianne Bentley, though.

According to Business Insider, when she discovered that her husband, Alabama Gov. Robert Bentley, was having an affair, she set the sabotage machine in motion that ultimately brought him down.

The governor resigned Monday as evidence mounted that he had violated a number of campaign finance and state ethics laws in pursuit of an extramarital relationship with his adviser Rebekah Mason. That the Alabama House Ethics Committee amassed so much evidence in the first place is thanks in no small part to Dianne Bentley, who saves receipts.

According to the impeachment report, the Alabaman first lady first sensed something was going on between her husband and Mason in September 2013. At the time, Mason had not yet moved to Montgomery and was living in the governor’s mansion pool house. She was also, Bentley noticed, aggressively texting the governor during off hours and for non-gubernatorial business. But Bentley didn’t get concrete proof until February 2014, when she and the governor attended a National Governor’s Association in Washington, D.C. Mason came along, and Bentley saw her texting flirtatiously with the governor at the dinner table one night.

"I can’t take my eyes off of you,” the governor texted Mason, in full view of his wife, according to the report.

In spring of 2014, the governor made a few unambiguous fumbles that blew his cover. Once, he texted his wife to say, “I love you Rebekah.” He also gave her his state-issued iPad, apparently oblivious to the fact that it was synced with his state-issued iPhone and that any texts he might send from that phone would be accessible on the iPad.

Dianne Bentley watched her husband call Mason “sweetheart” and overheard the pair discussing the governor’s “Private Rebekah phone” and speak of making an escape together. Mason apparently called the governor a “handsome wonderful amazing funny sweet man,” to which he responded, “You are wonderful my sweet love.”

Bentley’s wife took screenshots of it all, which can be viewed here.

She also obtained audio evidence. In March 2014, according to the report, she turned on her phone’s recorder, dropped it into her handbag and told her husband she was taking a “long walk on the beach.” She left her purse behind, and within one minute, the governor and Mason were chatting on the phone. Their conversation eventually took a turn from business to Mason’s breasts.

Dianne Bentley filed for divorce in 2015 and handed over her evidence to the ethics committee in 2016. Taken together with accounts from staffers on both sides, who attested to threats and the misuse of state money in an effort to sustain the affair but keep it secret, it paints a very clear picture. The governor pleaded guilty to two misdemeanor charges on Monday, and will never again run for or occupy public office.

And that’s why you always save receipts.“

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Lena Luthor wasn’t usually a nervous person.  She could command an audience, she could dominate the boardroom, but right now?  She was panicking.

Honestly, Lena never really thought her friendship with Kara would reach a stage where she was slowly being introduced into the group, one by one.  Maggie had been first.  She and Lena had long since discussed the whole Maggie-arresting-Lena debacle, Maggie spending the better part of ten minutes apologising before Lena could get a word in edgewise.  She and Maggie had hit it off fairly quickly, bonding over their mutual love of Italian cuisine and various scientific magazines.

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beware of the smiles especially. they will put you in a trance and before you know it, you’ll have an immense urge to take your clothes off.

Taako asks Kravitz to send him a nude photo and Krav goes “how nude?” and Taako goes “take it all off baby ;)” and Kravitz just texts him a picture of his skeleton chilling at his desk