The 2nd request from @kaguneko
18. Just take things one second at a time (canonverse)
“I still can’t believe…they’re gone,” Levi said. It was the middle of the night. He and Erwin had just finished a mountain of paperwork and were settling down for a drink of whiskey.
“It’s been over a year,” Levi said.
Erwin only nodded and said, “These things take time.”
“The next expedition…it’s in two days. Why do we care about this paperwork? Why do we care about anything? We could die…we could…Sometimes I can’t stand it, all the hours we spend out there. I don’t know how I get through. Without breaking.” He didn’t know why he was suddenly so open. Torn open. Maybe it was the whiskey. Maybe it was the way Erwin was looking at him: calmly, quietly, like he knew.
“Don’t count the hours,” Erwin said. “Just take things one second at a time. Sometimes seconds are all you can stand.”
Levi sighed. “That’s a lot. A lot of seconds.”
“But they end. And before you know it, it’s been all those hours. And you’re home. With me.”
Levi shook his head. “Unless one of us, or both, is in the belly of a titan.”
“We know how to survive.”
“And Farlan? Isabel? They didn’t? The thing I want least is to be titan vomit. They don’t even need to eat us. Just spit us back up. It’s disgusting. But that’s where we’re headed. Isn’t it?”
Erwin looked into his glass thoughtfully. “I think we’re headed toward freedom.”
“Pfft. You and your ideals. Is death freedom?”
“Of course,” Erwin said.
Levi balked. “You have a death wish?”
Erwin shrugged. “Sometimes…I want peace. Just like you, Levi. We’re not too different, you and I.”
“You’re so…strange, Erwin.”
Erwin chuckled. “I wonder…what does that make you?”