Sorry if I'm bothering you but can you share why you think avatar is bad?
hoo boy man ur asking for a lot bc that show is a complete and utter M E S S. first, heres the main phrase my tibetan ass wants u to think about: its a show using asian/indigenous ppl and their devastating histories made by ignorant weeaboo white men. I want to write about it in detail bc i’ve always wanted to say something about this but never rly got around to doing it. maybe ill send this in letter format to the writers lol. anyways im going to split this up into parts. I’ll put a readmore bc its kinda long
So, this might be super vague, but do you have any dating advice for autistics? I don't even know how people find each other. I wasn't ready to date in high school and I thought it would happen for me in college but it really hasn't. (I have been trying to flirt/get asked out/ask people out.)
I’m going to start this with a personal story that has a lot of relevance here. When I first met @paxardens, we were living in the same apartment complex with like ten other meatspace friends.
We would regularly get together at the apartment of the person who acted as the hub for our social group - the super charismatic allistic type - for dinner, videogames, light drinking, birthday parties, etc.
Naturally, this meant that @paxardens and I crossed paths a lot.
And ooooh let me tell you about @paxardens… beautiful, funny, interesting, super easy to talk to and interact with, friendly, and full of information about topics that are near and dear to me. Plus, she was a nerdy, bookish, gamer girl on top of it.
I started flirting with her.
And let me tell you about myself from @paxardens‘ perspective - gorgeous, witty, clever, creative, and of course I hung on every word she had to say because it was interesting. Plus, I was a nerdy, bookish, gamer, and queer girl on top of it.
She started flirting with me.
And oh my gosh did we flirt, and oh how every completely, totally, and utterly unaware we were that the other was flirting with us. Six months - SIX MONTHS! - this went on without either of us having the slightest clue that we were interested in eachother.
But like, we weren’t just oblivious. We both read the other person as being actively uninterested in us. Things that I said that were meant to say, “I AM INTERESTED IN YOU LET US DATE AND ROMANCE!” were saying, “Eeeehhhhh, you’re not really my type.”
So what happened after that six months? Our mutual friend, the one who was the center of our social hub, informed us each that he was going to give us a little extra to drink so we could have a little more fun than usual at the halloween party.
I’m not sure how it happened exactly, but Marie Curie ended up sitting in my lap as we watched the costume party from the balcony - right up until she won an award for her full Edwardian costuming (and let me tell you, @paxardens looks absolutely radiant in Edwardian outfits!).
As the evening wore down and we sobered up, we finally realized that we interested in eachother. After sobering up she decided to take me home. This is where you insert the stereotype of U-Haul lesbians, because I never left. Seven years later we married.
Through all of that there was one thing that we just didn’t do…
…We never once explicitly said that we were flirting with each other. We were expecting neurotypical responses, not getting them, and not looking for autistic cues because neither of us were looking for that.
The point to this story is that sometimes, you just have to tell people you are interested in them. Some of my favorite phrases to do this include:
“I really enjoy talking to you and spending time with you; we should do this more.”
“I really enjoy your company, and I want to spend more time with you.”
“I really appreciate your friendship and company, and I want to get to know you better.
“You know, I really like you, and I’ve been trying to figure out if I should ask you out on a date. Is that something you would be interested in?”
The first few are great for talking to allistics, and as long as you continue to get positive responses, you can continue to work towards that explicit communication.
This is, by and large, how allistics seem to prefer to do things - though I am sure Sean can tell you better than I - just e sure not to miss the forest for the trees (or in this case, miss the other person’s interest because you are looking for allistic cues).
im not against feminism i just find women jokes funny bc u dont take it personally and its making fun of ur stereotype i mean blondes have jokes about then being dumb but u don't see them taking it personally and shit i understand if men r using them tk make u do shit but if its just as a random joke pls dont go hulk it makes me so embarrassed to be a woman
This message.. Was vastly disappointing my child. I’m going to make toast.