take that sunglasses off baby

  • REPORTER: We're here with Chris, a guy who leaves pervy comments on Instagram pictures of girls he kind of knows, as well as semi well known to very well known actresses, female musicians, etc. Hi, Chris.
  • CHRIS: Yo.
  • REPORTER: Chris, what's your favorite comment to leave?
  • CHRIS: Ooh, good one. I can't decide! It's like asking a mother to choose her favorite child!
  • REPORTER: But if you had to...?
  • CHRIS: I would say either "holy boobs!" on a picture where you can see a little bit of boob, or maybe if a girl is wearing something sexy I'll say "great, now I gotta go fap," meaning that I intend to use the image for masturbation assistance.
  • REPORTER: Both great ones. We've just GOT to know. Why do you do it?
  • CHRIS: Cuz sometimes you just needs to (*takes off sunglasses*) HIT EM WITH THAT MALE GAZE, BABY!!!!
  • (He starts dancing. A banner unfurls that reads "Man of the Year." Fireworks. Fade to black)