Sometimes I don’t know if I’m ace/demi or just really driven and don’t care about romance/relationships right now. My brother called me driven and alluded to me not caring about relationships at all, but I don’t know if that’s true. I am driven and focused, but I do want to be in a relationship sometime, I just don’t know anyone I’m interested in now. I rarely feel attracted to people, but maybe if I weren’t so focused on things, I’d be more open to attraction?Am I shutting myself off from love?
I can’t fully answer that for you, but I’ll say you’re probably not shutting yourself off from love. Relationships can sometimes just happen randomly and fast, and its normal to have a ton, or any, crushes at a certain time. Sometimes moving somewhere new, or just getting older, might make you more interested in people.
I personally didn’t have really any romantic feelings for anyone for a long time, and when I did get them, it was a very small amount of people, one or two, and I have just started my first relationship in my senior year of high school- and many people don’t get in a relationship until after graduating high school.
One girl I know who thought she might just be very driven and ace turned out to figure out she was a lesbian later.
However, you could be ace or demi too, which is perfectly ok as well!
Sometimes love takes time to kick in, or you might just not have a great pool to pick from yet ;) Or, you could be someone who doesn’t have those sort of feelings. But in all honesty, don’t worry too much about it or attaching a label to yourself. It’s a good step to start questioning, and know that we are here to help you if you need it. Sexuality is complicated, and your labels can change, especially as teens things are hard to get perfectly ironed out.
If you really want a relationship, you can go try to find one. But if you aren’t entirely interested, don’t worry about it- there’s time for it later if you want to do it in the future, or, you don’t have to do it at all if you don’t want. So stay driven and focused for now if thats what you want and what makes you happy.