take no harm

I don’t know where this recent idea came from that fiction has to be perfectly healthy anyway. Fiction is not inherently healthy and never has been, its not real, its for exploration and imagination. Fiction is separate from reality and that is why we like it. What you write about is not what you condone, Stephen King is not serial killer for writing about murder. People are not being “abuse apologists” for shipping two characters in a less than healthy way.

I’m sick of this new trend.

You don’t have to like a ship but you want to know what is actually hurting people? What is not promoting healthy behavior? Harassing shippers, telling them they’re disgusting over fiction, that kind of shining behavior antis exhibit.

Edited: because people actually reblog this, the context of this is abusive ships and abusive relationships in fiction. Thats it, thats what I was talking about. I’ve addressed the same thing numerous times so chances are I won’t reply to anything on this post.

Something someone reads or writes about in fiction is not representative what they want in a relationship or their stance on issues irl they take. It is not harming survivors of abusive relationships and a lot of us use it to help ourselves. People can tell the difference between what is real and what is fictional.

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cool stuff about mental illness community

-being able to vent and laugh about our problems to make ourselves feel better

-being able to ask for advice from others who face the same issues

-providing or getting resources and information about ur illness

not cool stuff about mental illness community

-making mental illness a competition to see who’s the illest

-the culture of not recovering because “im only mentally ill if im always showing my worst symptoms 100% of the time”

-not accepting advice from other neurodivergents because it sounds “neurotypical” 

-making so much fun of our problems that it belittles them 

anonymous asked:

there was a post going around saying ""dldr is meant for things like, “if you don’t like coffee shops, don’t read this coffee shop AU,” not, “i can be as racist as i want and you have to deal with it because i used a disclaimer"". a lot of people in the tags argued that this is what they mean when they say incest/p*dophilia/abuse portrayed in a positive light in fanfic is problematic. whats your opinion? xoxo

… phew. this ask almost passes as a legit question, but the ‘xoxo’ at the end is a little much.  still, what a great opportunity to talk about this ongoing problem of people ignoring warnings that a work contains content that upsets them, then complaining that they were upset when they viewed it.

(first, a side note: don’t censor the word ‘pedophilia’. It’s not a slur - it’s a content warning. If you censor it, the blacklists of people who don’t want to see posts that mention pedophilia won’t catch it and they could be harmed. Just use the word.)

anti-shippers who look at a fic or fanwork’s tags and say ‘this has problematic content! I better go tell the author how problematic their content is!’, I have news for you:

warnings on fanworks indicate that the person creating the work knows the content is ‘problematic’, not for all audiences, and may hurt people if they view it unsuspectingly. stop taking fanwork warnings and tags in bad faith and using them as an excuse to harass and harm creators.

warnings aren’t ‘disclaimers’ (and aren’t used as such). they’re the CONTAINS NAPROXIN. KEEP OUT OF REACH OF CHILDREN sticker on painkillers. The content is good, even helpful, for some people, but for others who don’t need it or are too young to understand what they’re consuming could be harmed. take the warnings seriously and if you don’t like what they say the fic contains, you really are better off not reading/viewing it!

‘they’re not warnings, they’re advertisements!’ they can function as both! people who want to read that content can find it and people who don’t want to read that content can avoid it. everyone is happier, except anti-shippers who are mad that people are enjoying content they don’t personally approve of.

‘If the creator knows their content is problematic, then they shouldn’t have created it in the first place! Or if they did, they shouldn’t have put it on the internet for people to see!’ well that’s a very different conversation. What you’re saying is that you advocate for censorship, and in that case ‘don’t like don’t read’ would be worthless: only things you like would be allowed to exist in the first place.

But let’s talk about how ‘they shouldn’t have put it on the internet for people to see.’ the basis for this is, I know, that it could corrupt the unsuspecting youth who read the bad content. But isn’t this a bit contradictory? if a fanwork is tagged with a warning that it contains abuse, everyone who looks at the fanwork is going to know that 1) the author believes that abuse is bad and needs to be warned for, and 2) the work contains abuse. Taking these points together, no matter how positively the abuse is depicted, a viewer has foreknowledge that it’s abusive and the creator thinks abuse is bad.  It’s simply insulting to imply that viewers will look at the abuse in the fanwork so uncritically as to not think it’s horrible after receiving such a warning.

In fact, I’ve heard anecdotal evidence that people who have been raped or abused (or still being abused) or undergone other harm have read fics with these warnings and because of the warnings, realized what had happened to themselves was not okay.  If anti-shippers had their way, those fics wouldn’t even exist, much less be warned for.

I’m about to say something radical, so brace yourself: 

because tagging warnings is the accepted way to warn people about dangerous content in fandom, the things more likely to cause confusion and harm in fanworks are the things that aren’t warned for.

Even the most positive depiction of abuse would be spoiled by a warning. Can you imagine if the beginning of every copy of Nabokov’s Lolita started with ‘Warning: this work contains depictions of csa, abuse, and child grooming.’ It would force readers who are blind to the hints that the narrator is unreliable to read the work with a very different eye, and I doubt most people would read it and conclude it’s a love story the way many people do today.

Now Lolita was intended to be a kind of monster story from the point of view of the monster - it was never meant to be a positive depiction at all. Nabokov’s work was too subtle for most people, but he was a master storyteller. I think if he could, he’d go back and add a warning so people would stop getting the wrong idea.

In fandom, where we have a widely-accepted tagging system, potentially harmful content that the creator adds deliberately will be warned for. But the potentially harmful content that the creator doesn’t know about won’t be - and that’s the stuff that tends to be a lot more sneaky and insidious.

Let’s take your example: 

“i can be as racist as i want and you have to deal with it because i used a disclaimer".

Racism does crop up a lot in fanworks, but not in the way this implies.  There’s a huge difference between a creator recognizing racism exists and utilizing it as an aspect of a setting or acknowledging it in a respectful, truthful way and a creator who does not recognize their own racist blind spots and therefore ends up perpetuating harmful stereotypes or providing racist narration without realizing it.

The former tends to be warned for; the latter never is because the creator doesn’t even know they’re being racist. The former may be painful, because racism is shitty and harmful and real, but a person can steer clear if they want to avoid it and the warning shows the content is known to be bad. The latter is more painful because it’s not just depicting racism: it is in fact perpetuating racism.

So which is actually worse: the fic that has a warning for racism or the fic that doesn’t?

And this can be applied to anything. A fic that depicts a character being abused but doesn’t warn for abuse tells me that the author doesn’t know the work contains abuse (which is worrying for the safety of the author). A fic that contains dubious consent but the author doesn’t warn for noncon/dubcon/rape tells me that the author has a poor understanding of consent.  These are the fics that are more likely to be dangerous. Fics without content warnings are also the ones most likely to unironically and uncritically depict the bad behavior in a positive light - because the authors have been taught by the rest of society outside fandom that what they’ve depicted is normal/not harmful. They are victims, and they need help, not people yelling at them about how problematic they are.

Two last notes, which I’ll try to keep short:

  • If a fanwork depicts a relationship that’s canonically unhealthy in a world where it’s fluffy and healthy, they are not responsible for putting warnings on their fic that pertain to the canon version of the ship.  For instance: Kylo and Rey are enemies in current Star Wars continuity and Kylo tried to torture Rey for information. But if a fic is set in a future where Kylo is well-adjusted and happy and dating Rey in a non-abusive relationship, the fic does not need to warn for ‘abuse’. the fic doesn’t contain abuse. Let it go.
  • No creator is beholden to using anti definitions of words like ‘pedophilia’, ‘abuse’, and ‘incest’ for their warnings. The definition of what antis call ‘pedophilia’, ‘incest’, and ‘abuse’ varies from fandom to fandom - sometimes from pairing to pairing. While tags will always be somewhat subjective, the wide variety of definitions these words have in anti-shipper parlance makes them all but meaningless, so use them when you see fit, not when antis demand it.  If antis have a problem with it, they’ll just have to start treating ship tags as warnings* and avoid all depictions of ships they don’t like. (which is what we all wish they’d do anyway.)

And now for the final irony: every time anti-shippers use warnings as a reason to go yell at people about how their fanworks are bad, antis give creators less incentive to tag warnings. People might start to hope that if they just don’t warn up front for the potentially dangerous content people will stop yelling at them without even looking at the work itself. Or if the work is borderline (’maybe this is abusive but maybe it’s not’), they may opt to go without the warnings so they can avoid the extra trouble. this is already happening with dubious consent depictions. If a noncon warning gets you yelled at, then fics where the consent isn’t completely denied will just not get warned for at all, and that’s fucked up.  And when the warnings aren’t there, people are way more likely to stumble on something of a nature that upsets them! 

So as usual, in their crusade to eradicate all content that isn’t unquestionably wholesome and pure antis make everything a little less safe for everyone. Thanks, guys.  (please stop.)

and creators: please, depict terrible things in your fanworks in whatever light you choose - and warn for them. you might accidentally help save someone from a real situation that’s terrible.

*ship tags also work as both warnings and advertisements, as it happens. Funny, isn’t it?

13 Reasons Why: Trigger Scenes

For those of you interested in watching this show but fear that certain scenes within the series might cause you harm. I’ve compiled a list of the start & end times of certain scenes that may be too graphic. Below the cut I’ve also decide to include a transcript of important voiceovers that happen during the scenes themselves that you may want to read (but not if you believe they might harm you emotionally) for plot purposes. So just fyi there will obviously be spoilers below the cut lol. I’m pretty certain I got all the majorly triggering scenes, however this whole series does contain little potentially triggering things including: Bullying, slut-shaming, closeted-gay, a second suicide attempt that isn’t explicitly shown but mentioned in the 12th and 13th episodes. So Please take the utmost precaution when watching this series. 

But with all that said, I do hope you enjoy it. I’m tagging those who either replied, reblogged, or liked my original post on the subject so that they can find this easily. 

@madelyne-pryor @sublimelem0n @dana-in-wonderland 
@decembervesalius @dominoswif @whoaheather

Episode 9 – Sexual Assault

1. 31:20 – 32:40 

This scene sets up the assault scene and has a semi-misleading depiction of who the attacker is. The scene shows no actual assault but alludes to what will happen next. For safety’s sake do not view this scene if you are easily triggered by the theme of sexual assault. 

2. 38:50 – 42:35

This scene depicts the full assault. The time I’ve listed above starts and ends at the safest spot to skip to. However, if you are feeling okay enough to watch everything in the scene except the actual assault those times are 40:20 – 41:30. But again please be very careful and don’t push yourself too much. Your mental health is the priority here. This scene is told from the point of view of Hannah Baker hiding in a closet. 

3. 46:40 – 47:02

This is another semi prelude scene to the assault. It shows someone attempting to stop the assault, but failing and giving up. 

4. 50:20 – 51:20 

This is another scene of the assault, however this time it depicts a flashback from the point of view of the victim of the assault rather than Hannah’s account of it. This scene is intensely more graphic than Hannah’s pov, and I extremely urge you to take caution with this scene.  

Episode 12 – Sexual Assault and Child Abuse

5. 00:40 – 01:10

There is a brief but immediate flashforward scene depicting flashes of the assault. This begins immediately after the credits play so please be very careful here. 

6. 42:15 – 47:30

The assault itself doesn’t take up the entire time that I’ve listed, but it cuts in and out with Clay confronting the rapist, including a very bloody fight. So I figured the safest way to avoid the triggering scene would be to avoid that whole sequence. However after the ‘end time’ I listed Clay does get the rapist to finally admit he did it. But if you do not want to see this either please skip to 50:25. If you would like to see the Clay-Only scene also these are those times: 43:30 – 45:45.

7. 51:00 – 52:25

This scene involves one of the characters being choked by the boyfriend of their mother. Please view with caution.

Episode 13 – Suicide 

8. 35:45 – 38:53

This is inarguably the most graphic scene in the entire series and really in a show period that I’ve personally seen. So please take extreme caution if you are going to try and view this scene. On the one hand I believe it was important because non-suicidal people need to see it so they can understand what it’s really like. They need to be forced out of their comfort zone so they don’t just continue ignoring things like this and say shit like “It was their choice; Nothing ____ could have done” and “Suicide is selfish” But if you are suicidal or have ever been suicidal I please urge you not to watch this scene if it may cause you harm. Please be cautious and safe. Your mental health is super important. No movie or show is worth jeopardizing it. In the times above I’ve included everything from the moment she enters the bathroom to right after her body is found by her parents. 

Keep reading

Me, after doing something self destructive: Why am I in pain?

The Old Wanderers

They come from a planet long dead, made molten by their expanding star. Their forms over the years have become vastly diverse from the use of biotech implants to entire gene modifications, and can only be recognized as a single species by the restless look they always have. Solans, they call themselves, rarely organized in the vast cosmos. They seek only the occasional kind host in their never ending journeys through the stars, not looking for somewhere in particular, just looking. To crews that take them on, there is an old knowledge: Solans bring fortune to their hosts, one good turn for another. Perhaps it is their occasional tinkering with ship parts to keep them running longer than they should, perhaps the morale they bring as companions to all who would have them, perhaps they are simply good luck to have, but stories of these Solans keeping ships in the sky is worth the meager rations and small rooms to dwell in. Sometimes they will travel with ships for far longer than a single journey, becoming a friendly face to hold the crew together, or even considered a fixture of the ship itself. They themselves find this reputation rather amusing, calling themselves “Fair Folk” from legends of their own planet. Like these “Folk”, they can be a force to be reckoned with when someone affects them outside their rules (Ask before taking, do no harm to the innocent, leave choice to those who will be effected), or even just to defend their hosts; Solans are infamous for their “protective aggression,” fighting ruthlessly for the sake of bonded shipmates, even against more of their own kind (which they seem to inherently recognize). What is little spoken-of, however, is their greatest advantage: they are wanderers, observers, and collectors.Younger Solans will use their knowledge and supplies of dangerous weaponry of different species to hold their own against larger opponents, and elder Solans, more titanium than carbon-based, will know ships, enemy flight patterns, and tactical weak points to target in ships or even being-to-being contact with little more than their own appendages or a basic plasma cannon. This dichotomy, unsettling companion and infamous warrior, can polarize ship-crews about whether to accept Solans and carefully observe their unusual rules, or keep a safe distance from them, but one thing is agreed on: they never stop moving. Even in sleep, they will shift and turn, claiming to see things that aren’t in their “dreams”, and a core aspect of most Solan religions is the soul continuing to another place after the body dies, with the remains most often burned to ash and scattered over the molten surface of their dead world. Solans, even in death, do not stop moving. They simply wait.

Submitted by: @thefangi