take my gold pieces

The Adventures of Lorne Star Kilgrave, Psychic Detective

The party doesn’t really have a rogue, but my Psion (based loosely on Kilgrave from Jessica Jones), has taken on a very roguish playstyle, without even using any Psion abilities to back him up.  We were traversing a series of mountain caves (which as any LOTR fan knows is always a good shortcut).

DM:  You can see a light coming from around the corner, bright enough to be a campfire.

Me:  I roll Hide and Move Silently and sneak around to see what’s up. [successes]

DM:  Okay, you see three orcs sitting in a semi-circle around the fire, facing away from you.  The one on the right has a shortbow, and there’s a large-ish bag sitting closest to him but some distance further back, and the other two have swords that are longer than short swords.

Me:  So… long swords?

DM:  No.

Me:  Okay…  I’m gonna sneak over to that bag and take a peek inside.

DM:  Alright.  [makes some apparently unsuccessful rolls] They still don’t notice you.  Inside the bag is a bunch of gold, too much for you to count with them right there.

Me (laughing as I plan it out in my head):  Alright.  I take out 20 gold pieces-

Favored Soul (OOC):  What?  You’re going to take exactly 20, just count it out right there?

Me:  Hold on!  I sneak over to the one with the bow and set the coins beside him in a pile so that they’re just barely out of sight of the other two orcs.  [they still don’t notice me]  Then I start backing away and whisper, while trying to lower my voice and sound like an orc and keeping myself placed so that they mistake it for the other orc, “I just have to keep taking 20 pieces at a time and they’ll never notice…” [succeeds both Bluff and Disguise checks]

DM:  Okay…  The orc on the far left hears you and looks over at the pile of coins sitting next to the bow orc.  He stands up and draws his sword, shouts “TRAITOR!” and chops off the orc’s head.  The one in the middle is so surprised and afraid that he falls off the log he’s sitting on and sees you, and shouts “We’ve been deceived.”  The orc that drew his sword then looks at you, and says… um… what do you call a guy who does that?

Me (laughing hysterically):  What, tricks you into murdering your friend?  I don’t know!