take me there on valentines day

10

Zojja: “He just told you he loves you over fucking balloons.”
Neptune: *Snorts* He didn’t mean it like that.“
Zojja: "You sure? I think he did.”
Neptune: “No, it was Valentines day.”
Zojja: “He loves you.”
Neptune: “Nope.”
Zojja: “What’s taking them so long?”

They heard the front door open and what sounded like two men singing “A pirate’s life for me.” and snickering. As they walked into the room, Zojja stood up from her seat, frowning.

Zojja: “You’re joking. You too? You’re all dressed up as fancies!?”
Xavier: “That’s right. Here to arrest a certain pirate captain.*wink*
Zojja: *Huffs* You can try.”
Neptune: “Revan? We match.”
Zojja: “Yeah I told him you were borrowing my fancy outfit…”
Revan: *Grins*
Neptune: “Well. Don’t be fooled by the outfit, I might look like one of you but on the inside…pirate.”
Revan: “A fancy in the streets…a pirate in the sheets.”
Neptune: *Laughs* Something like that. You look like fucking Orlando Bloom with that stubble.“
Revan: *Wiggles brows* You know what that means?”
Neptune: “Tell me.”
Revan: *Pulls her closer* I’m a pirate in the sheets too.“
Zojja: "Get a room!”

3

@fgtmgt I have seen quite a few very sweet and very cute things for 100% Love, but for me personally my mind definitely is stuck on the idea that it would really be 100% Awkward instead so viola! I’ve drawn them around the ages I draw them for And Nearly Letting Go because I’ll be damned if this doesn’t take them years. I finally did a kiss hahaha

Mob doesn’t actually know how he managed to teleport, he’s going to have a long way home. In the meantime, Teruki will be having a complete meltdown because obviously the experience was so bad Mob felt the need to r u n a w a y

Bonus

*phone ringing*
Reigen: Mob? It’s rare for you to call me, what’s wrong?
Mob: I think I’m lost.
Reigen: What do you mean “lost”?
Mob: I don’t recognise where I am.
Reigen:… Okay. What can you see around you?
Mob: Cows.
Reigen: Cows?
Mob: Yes.
Reigen:What… Do you see anything else?
Mob:… Grass. And more cows.
Reigen: Mob, how pray tell did you get to be surrounded by cows in the middle of nowhere?
Mob:…
Reigne:Mob?
Mob: I… may have teleported here. But I don’t know how I did it. So I can’t get back.
Reigen: *wtfffffffffffff*

Happy early Valentine’s Day~ Kiss kiss

2

why don’t we call it a day and we can both confess 
you can force me to use a little tenderness
white lies, alibis, anything but say that it’s true
we could sit like lovers staring in each other’s eyes
but the magic of the moment might become too much for you

happy valentine’s (valentron’s?) everybawdy

(edit: added close up of their faces;;)

youtube

Pharmercy- Angel With a Shotgun

So…. this is a bit different haha. But! I couldnt help it, the song fits so well. Its also a bit rushed towards the end but oh well :D

Happy Valentines Day my dudes <3

MC Alone On Valentines Day....

[MC has entered the chatroom]

MC: OH February… OH February… The time in which love blooms and shines…

Yoosung: DATE ME.

MC: OH And how happy I’d be with a lover…

ZEN: JESUS CHRIST JUST LOVE ME.

MC: Gah… Too bad I’ll be all alone…

Jaehee: TAKE ME BB.

MC: I wish OH I wish that I had a fiancé…

Saeyoung: HERE. YOUR FIANCÉ. IS RIGHT HERE.

MC: I’m OH so lonely… So sad…. With no one to love…..

Jumin: Me. CHOOSE. ME.

MC: Looks like I’ll just spend it alone… Again… *sigh*

V: Please… Take me…

MC: No one would bother to love me anyways….

Saeran: I. WANT. YOU.

MC: WELP… Time to drown my sorrows with cheesy romance movies… BY MYSELF….

[MC has left the chatroom]

[*Yoosung cries in a corner]

[ZEN screams on a table]

[Jaehee Kang is trying to breathe]

[707 lies down and rethinks life]

[Jumin Han is pouring more wine]

[V is also sobbing in a corner]

[Saeran shoots a fucking lamp]

4

Handle with Care

You really shouldn’t take a hammer to a flower.


[Friendly reminder to all of you, that on this coming Valentine’s day, be gentle to your mates, dates, and if you’re like me, plates.

Plates, as in, eating.

Don’t eat too much.]

THE SIGNS AS PICK-UP LINES
  • Aries: Are you my appendix? Because I have no idea how you work, but this feeling in my stomach makes me want to take you out.
  • Taurus: Do you have a name or should I just call you mine?
  • Gemini: Spell me. (M-E) You forgot the D. (There isn't a D in me.) NOT YET!
  • Cancer: You look a lot like my future husband, I promise to take great care of you and our kids.
  • Leo: I'd rate you a nine out of ten, only because I'm the one you're missing.
  • Virgo: I may not be photographer, but I can picture you and I together.
  • Libra: You remind me of the sun because you constantly brighten up my world.
  • Scorpio: If I had a dollar for every time I thought of you, then I'd only have one dollar because you never left my thoughts after the first time.
  • Sagittarius: You must not of took your vitamins today because you look like you're lacking in vitamin me.
  • Capricorn: If you were a triangle, you'd be a right triangle because you're ALWAYS right!
  • Aquarius: I'm good at math ok. U + I = 69, and the value of I is 59 because U are a 10.
  • Pisces: You must be a masterpiece because I want to pin you up against a wall and admire you whenever I see you.

♡ VALENTINE’S DAY (2010) SENTENCE STARTERS.

“ my closest relationship is with my blackberry, thank god it vibrates! ”
“ when i was a kid, most of the advice that my dad gave me was crap. ”
“ there you have it, folks. young love. ”
“ valentine’s day was a massacre in chicago where lots of people were killed. ”
“ i don’t feel comfortable taking my shirt off in public. ”
“ love is the only shocking act left on the planet. ”
“ if you’re ever with a guy/girl that’s too good for you, marry him/her. ”
“ i shut down my playerness from new years to st. patty’s day. ”
“ i need happy, i need romantic, i need love, and i need it from you. ”
“ i would crawl over cut glass to take you to the winter formal. ”
“ dude, he’s from indiana. they only celebrate love your cousin day. ”
“ did you even consider marrying me? ”
“ when you ask a girl to marry you, do you want her to just consider it? ”
“ then there’s the whole thing with my parents’ horrible… ”
“ oh don’t tell me, that’ll take the fun out of guessing. ”
“ i can’t stand the idea of some jerk hurting her, i just can’t. i can’t. ”
“ what’s the greatest love song of all time? ”
“ i’ve never had an inkling before. i wasn’t sure what to do with it. ”
“ what do you do with the flowers? ”
“ you don’t step in to love, you fall in. ”
“ apparently everyone and their mother felt that way but nobody had the guts to tell me. ”
“ have you ever seen someone fall head over heels in love? it’s ugly, bro. ”
“ love doesn’t exist unless you acknowledge it in front of other people. ”
“ unfortunately, the truth makes everything else seem like a lie. ”
“ it’s not about defiance, it’s about what a man will do for love. ”
“ that is a really weird way to talk to your boss. ”
“ this is the busiest day of the year for phone sex. ”
“ you know, i’d like to say yes. but… i don’t know if i can afford it. ”
“ when you love someone, you love all of them… ”

Rent-a-Boyfriend™

Words: 12k

Genre: Extreme fluff for all you bitter people out there (me being included)

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Awkward Valentine's Day/Date Starters
  • “So…I can’t afford Netflix, but we can Redbox and chill if you want?”
  • “Roses were sold out everywhere, so I got you a bucket of chicken instead.”
  • “The date was great! Well … until we got to his apartment where his dog kept trying to hump me.”
  • “Every year I tell you the same thing; I don’t like white chocolate!!”
  • “Not only did he take me to McDonalds for Valentine’s, he used coupons to pay for it.”
  • “All the stores were sold out of condoms…”
  • “I think there was something wrong with the food because I don’t feel so good.”
  • “We need to cut this date short because I’m going to shit myself.”
  • “PLEASE tell me your credit card did NOT just get declined.”
  • “What do you mean you’re in labor, the baby’s not due for another month and these tickets weren’t cheap!!”
  • “Did you get any of those rose petals stuck between your ass cheeks?”
  • “Are you okay?! I swear I didn’t mean to pop the cork into your face!”
  • “He not only showed up to our date wasted, but broke a $200 bottle of champagne over his head.”
  • “So not exactly the surprise you were hoping for, but we’re having a baby.”
  • “There weren’t any nuts in those chocolates were there?”
  • “I think I’d rather have been home alone with a pint of ice cream than to have come out on this date with you tonight.”
  • “I’m sorry my overwhelming libido put you in the hospital.”
  • “I’m sorry, I can’t help it; I’m lactose intolerant.”
  • “I can’t drink any champagne because … I might be pregnant.”
  • “He asked if he could ‘lick my pussy’ and I told him I didn’t have a cat.”
  • “Quick, call 911; the stove’s on fire.”
  • “Wait, if you don’t have a car, how are you taking me out then?”
  • “I don’t think drizzling chocolate on the bed was a very good idea … ”
  • “I’d kiss you but there were red onions in my dish … ”
  • “Either I’ve got food poisoning or the baby’s coming.”
  • “I wanted to propose to you tonight but I think our waitress … kinda stole the ring.”
  • “I know spending Valentine’s in the hospital isn’t very romantic, but I can’t tell you how happy I am that you stayed.”
  • “So, um, I don’t think we can have sex tonight. I just got my period.”
  • “If you’re going to fart in my car, at least give me a warning next time.”
  • “My/Your dress totally ripped up the back and now my/your ass is hanging out.”
  • “We weren’t even ten minutes into our date before he pulled his dick out and started jerking it under the table!!”
  • “I don’t mean to be rude, but did you brush your teeth with garlic or something?! The smell is overwhelming.”
  • “Not only was he/she late to our Skype date, but I could see his/her side guy/chick in his/her bed in the background!”
  • “Well, being handcuffed and arrested certainly made the date exciting.”
  • “No, we’re going to have to cancel our reservations, I can’t find a sitter.”
  • “Even though I peed myself in the middle of our date, we still had a good time.”
  • "Well, I had bought you a really nice Valentine’s gift, but one of the kids thought it’d be funny to flush it down the toilet.”
  • “I’m the master of the microwave.”
  • “Oh. Um, they must have mixed up our plates. That ring isn’t for you.”
  • “I was so nervous for the date, I forgot to put deodorant on. That might be why they haven’t called me in a few days.”
  • “If you’re expecting an engagement ring tonight, then I’ve got bad news for you.”
  • “He tied me to the bed, told me to call him daddy, and next thing I know, he’s face down between my legs, snoring.”