take me back please :)

Sometimes I still get these urges to contact you.
It feels like pure desperation…  Like my skin is crawling and my eyes are burning and I just want you back in my life so badly….
And I don’t know why? Where these sudden urges come from?
Why do I still do this, even after all this time?!
It’s like I'm getting out, I'm almost clear…. and then suddenly I feel like I would do absolutely anything just to have you back in my life again.
Even for a single moment…. Just to see you, talk to you - ANYTHING!
It’s like I don’t WANT to be out, I still want to be in love with you because in my mind, loving you equates to happiness and I just want that back… just for one second.
But I have to remind myself it’s not healthy. 
Loving you is not like it used to be - it's not real anymore.
It’s not happy, it’s not positive…. and it’s gone and I can’t go back.
All I can do is put the phone down, blink back the tears … and keep moving forward.
—  Ranata Suzuki
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Tired of me posting old pictures yet? Ah well.

The Côte d'Azur was deff one of the most enchanting places I’ve ever been & MUST go back.

Eze, France // 7.17.15

8

Cuba pt. 1 | March 2017

As some of you may remember I spent two weeks in Cuba in March. Well, I finally managed it to edit some of the pictures I took there and decided to share a few with you because right now it’s snowing again and I really miss those warm and sunny days… 

Keep reading

I just want to get out of here. I want to call you and tell you everything that’s wrong and i want you to tell me that its going to be okay. I need you to tell me its going to be okay.
i love Brendon! At The Disco:

including the hit albums;
• a crush you can’t tour out
• petty. breakup.
• vices and please god ryan take me back
• too weird to retain its original members, too self-absorbed to break up the band
• death of a boyfriend (ryan this is your last chance i mean it this time)

TreeBros Body Swap AU:

So, I need this AU because: 

  • Evan waking up in Connor Murphy’s bed and having a panic attack
  • Connor waking up in Evan’s house and just thinking he’s really high
  • Connor-as-Evan cursing Jared out and Jared’s wide eyed reaction 
  • Connor trying to fake Evan’s love of trees
  • Evan TRYING TO BE EDGY LIKE CONNOR
    • “I, uh, love to smoke drugs” 
    • “one time I, uh, I f-f-fought someone, definitely, w-with a knife” 
    • “fuck you, kleinman!” [pause] “I take it back, I’m so sorry Jared, please don’t hate me.”
  • Evan and Connor trying to figure out how to undo it
  • Connor and Evan starting to learn each other really well, and teaching the other about themselves to pull of pretending to be each other 
  • They meet up in the Orchard a lot for those things 
  • Connor smoking and Evan flipping out
    • “You can’t do that! I don’t smoke! What if someone catches you? I’ll get in trouble, Connor, you jerk.” “Okay, chill, I won’t smoke” 
  • Evan is nice to Zoe and Zoe is…confused 
  • Evan helping Connor and Zoe fix their relationship, in a weird way
  • Jared not understanding why Evan is suddenly being such a dick 
  • Or why Evan is suddenly hanging out with Connor Murphy of all people
  • At some point Evan threatens to cut Connor’s hair to get him to do something, and it works really well 
  • Eventually Connor and Evan tells Jared and he doesn’t believe it until Connor Murphy says something that only Evan Hansen would know, and that he knows Evan would never tell Connor 
  • He does research for them, but he comes up with nothing useful 
  • Connor starting to care a lot about Heidi Hansen 
  • Evan starting to understand why Connor is the way he is 
  • They swap back when they both realize that they misjudged each other. Connor isn’t just a stoner, burnout, and Evan isn’t just a nerd, they actually have a lot in common 
  • After they swap back, they stay friends and eventually get together 
I can’t sleep. I bet you’re fine. Honestly, I’m glad you don’t lose sleep over letting us go. It would hurt me to know that you’re hurting. I just wish that you felt the same way about me.
—  Night
Come fight with me
—  It’s better than not hearing your voice

INCREDIBLY BELATED UPDATE (and appreciation)

“It has been quite the wild ride, this short while that I’ve been about, thank you, everyone, for making it so interesting.”

So there has been a lot of things happening recently, that have been keeping me away from these blogs. Back in December, when I first started this out, I really just wanted to have this be a bit of an exploratory blog into a different side of everyone’s favourite jackal.

Of course, that didn’t last that long, and I loved every moment that I spent talking with you all. Though it seemed to explode pretty massively, far, far more than I had anticipated. I had set this up as there was a lull in my actual work, but that has picked up again. On top of organising things to move house, it unfortunately left too much on my plate, which is why I have been mostly absent for the last month.

That’s changed now, I’ve moved house, and my work has settled again. While I won’t be around in the exact same capacity as I was before, I will have more time to devote to here.

Thank you, everyone. For both your attention, and your patience.