take him he's mine

stop making bitty ride the amtrak to pvd…the boy works hard…he is tired…stop making him take 2+ hrs of public transit to get laid. let bitty use jack’s uber account like any good pro athlete’s booty call/love of their life

me: had a cute italian waiter at a pizza restaurant

me, after i left the restaurant: it is my destiny to learn italian. how did i ignore it all these years? i was young, ignorant, and stupid. italian is the language of pizza and love. i must learn it. italian is such a beautiful language, it makes my soul grow lighter, it-

8

Get that hair out of your face. Let me see. Christ! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up. Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror? That is gross as hell. I can see your socket. I want to touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it? … All jokes aside, you look rad as hell. I wouldn’t cover that shit up. It may not be a hit with the ladies, but I swear to you, no one is gonna screw with you looking like that. No, sir.

4

Crippling insecurities and carelessness get the better of us all, even Kings

6

Apparently, Miss Cullen and Miss Hale have a presentation for us.

6

Who needs footwork when you’re Hercule Poirot? ;)