The Joker x Reader - “The Bucket List” part 2
Two months after breaking up with The Joker, you found out the bad news. You didn’t have a choice but to ask for his help and J didn’t even show up for the meeting. Of course he didn’t care, but now that he heard why you wanted to see him so badly, it might be too late for any amendments.
8:30am - your home
You quietly get out of bed, groggy from the meds you have to take at 6am. The Joker is still sleeping and you try not to wake him up. After a few steps a wave of violent cough hits and you cover your mouth, rushing for the bathroom. You close the door behind you and keep coughing above the sink, a few drops of blood staining the white marble. You turn on the water to cover the sounds, hoping J won’t hear you.
After a few moments you calm down and wash your face, starting to brush your teeth.
“Pumpkin, are you OK?” he impatiently knocks on the door.
“Yes, I’m fine, go back to sleep please,” you muffle the words, finishing your morning routine.
J walks in and you run behind the bamboo panel, starting to take your PJ’s off, getting ready for a shower.
“Why do you always hide behind that?” The Joker crosses his arms on his chest, waiting for the reply. You are so self-conscious about your appearance you don’t really want him to see you naked anymore.
“Umm…I just think it’s better to…”
“Get out of there!” he commands, sucking on his teeth.
“I can’t…” you whisper, gulping.
“I wanna see you, stop hiding behind that thing all the time!”
You quickly wrap yourself in a towel and step away from the screen. The Joker rolls his eyes, leaning against the mahogany cabinet.
“Drop the towel, Doll!”
You whimper, anxious to his demand:
“I don’t want to…Don’t make me!”
“Drop the damned towel, Princess!” he snaps and you slowly uncover your body, not remembering feeling so vulnerable in your entire life.
“This is humiliating,” you stare at him while he grins, pleased you complied so fast.
“Like I’ve never seen you naked before,” he scoffs, analyzing the view.
“I look horrible!” you blur out, covering your breasts with one hand.
“Well,” he pretends to debate,” you’re scrawny and I have to admit the lack of hair doesn’t give you extra points, but…”
You gasp, frowning.
“You definitely are a terrible person!”
“Yet another skill I take great pride in. Anyway, my point is that it could be worse, Kitten.We gotta work with what we have, hm? Turn around.”
You take a deep breath, nervous as hell.
“Not too bad, Y/N, but you do have a big butt. If you go in the backyard like this, I think we’ll have another solar eclipse.”
“What?!” you turn your head to glare, alarmed.
“Ha!” J snorts, “I made you look.”
You start laughing, embarrassed:
“You’re so horrible!”
“U-hum. Com’ere!” he signals and you hesitantly go in his arms. “I believe that…” You don’t let him finish. You reach for his lips and kiss him, pulling down on his boxers.
“Well, well, well,” he purrs, “What is this, Doll?”
“Something on my bucket list,” you mutter in his ear, still tense.
“I don’t recall seeing this on that piece of paper,” he teases, smirking.
“I didn’t have a chance to write it down,” you trace the playing cards tattoo on his neck as innocently as possible.
“Interesting,” he lifts you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. “Just admit you want to get in my boxers.”
You giggle, not answering.
“You’re so light,” J sulks, beginning to walk back towards the bedroom. “You think you can handle me, Princess?”
You raise your shoulders up, kissing him again.
“Oh, yeah,” you moan, determined to make love to him even if it kills you.
“Two baldies having sex, that’s pretty hot, huh?” he winks at you and then bites your lower lip, placing you on the bed.
“Not quite,” you chuckle, caressing his hairless head.
“Speak for yourself, woman; I’m still handsome. Plus, I don’t have a huge butt,” The Joker maliciously laughs when he sees how big your eyes got.
“You’re the worst person ever!” you yank his hand, stunned.
“From all the skills I’m proud of, this is my top favorite. Now stop praising me, I’m starting to blush,” he dramatically accentuates his little speech with a sneer, glad he got you all worked up.
You didn’t want to go with him at the warehouse because you don’t feel too good, but J insisted. You see the henchmen running around with a bunch of boxes, making space and getting rid of the old stuff you guys didn’t use in forever.
“What did you want to show me?” you lean on his arm, grateful you already took your painkillers since your body is getting stiff again.
“Your stupid bucket list, Doll,” he explains. “You wanted to go to Japan and you are aware we can’t because we’ll get caught. We don’t use this place very often so I got you a bunch of Japanese items; do what you want with them. Tell our men where you want everything and they’ll move it for you.”
He senses you’re squeezing his hand really hard and your eyes get watery.
“Spare me, Y/N!” he elbows you, irritated. “Let’s skip the drama!” but he kisses your temple and you nod in acceptance, excited to see what he got for you.
“What else did you have on that’s stupid list? Oh, yeah: a family,” The Joker answers his own question, mad about it. You want to say a few things but he keeps on yapping.
“Why do you need a family for, huh? Nothing but trouble. See these jerks here?” and he points out towards the goons laboring hard to accomplish the task at hand. “They’ll do whatever you ask them and won’t fight back. Better than a family. And you have me. I hate you, but we gotta work with what we have, OK?”J gets angrier since he hopes you won’t get very emotional again; he can’t stand it.
“OK…” you are fast to please him but start crying, unable to hold it in. The henchmen keep on glaring your way, rapidly averting their gaze when they realize there’s something very intimate going on between the both of you: you’re sobbing on J’s shoulder and he has this “fed up with everything” expression on his face while holding your waist. The lack of hair makes him look even more imposing, menacing and vicious.
The Joker dragged you to one of the clubs where he will have a meeting with one of his smugglers that has a new medication for you. Another experimental product found only on the black market that might help.
It’s your IV day so you retreated to the sound proof room, trying to take a nap until the IV bag is done. J is in the VIP section, talking to Nix. Frost is there also, keeping an eye on things. The discussion is going reasonably smooth until the asshole forgets who he’s talking to.
“I can’t believe you’re dating the same bitch, Mister J!” he puffs, acting surprised. Jonny lifts his eyebrows, ready to react but his boss didn’t signal him yet. The Joker holds his breath for a few long seconds, then loudly exhales.
“Yeah, same bitch,” he stares at the guy with a crazy sparkle in his blue eyes.
“So the pills are for her? I heard she’s really sick, but still alive and kicking. Tough bitch I guess,” Nix laughs, confident of his funny remarks. He has a reputation of being fierce and stepping over boundaries because he has access to a lot of merchandise on the black market that not too many smugglers can obtain.
“Tough bitch indeed,” J agrees, holding his breath again.
“Word is you shaved your head for her. Now, I’ve never thought I’ll see a man like you in love, Mister J,” Nix snickers, taking the tablets out of the suitcase.
Is this fucking prick for reals?! Frost thinks, waiting for a sign and he finally sees J tapping his fingers on the cane. Jonny cracks his neck, relieved.
It’s gonna be my pleasure, he grins, punching his fists together.
The door being busted makes you open your eyes. J turns the lights on and pushes Nix in front of you, kicking him in the shin so hard he collapses on his knees.
“What’s going on, baby?” you rub your face, getting up on your elbow.
“This asshole is here to apologize!” The Joker barks and you have no clue about this new outburst. “Apologize to my Queen!!” he yells at the guy who’s in a pretty bad shape with a black eye, busted lip and a few visible bruises.
“I-I’m sorry…” Nix stammers, groaning in pain.
“For what?!” you feel the need to ask, baffled.
“You don’t need to know!” J shouts. “You are owed apologies and that’s it!”
You don’t fight it and slide to the left corner of the velvet couch, careful not to move the needle in your vein.
“Apologize for waking her up too, you
bastard!” and J lifts Nix up, violently pulling him towards the door where
Frost is waiting to take over.
“I’m s-sorry…for waking you up,” the guy stutters as he gets shoved out of your sound proof retreat.
“Take care of this!” The joker tells Jonny, still fuming.
“Anything I should know?” you reach for your anti-nausea medication and take some.
“Nope, go back to sleep,” J hisses, displeased at how the night turned out. “After your IV is done, we’ll go for a ride.”
“That sounds nice.” You feel like crap but you still give him a smile.
He turns off the lights and hears you:
“Were you defending my honor or something?”
“What honor, Pumpkin?!” he grumbles, shutting the door so you can rest in darkness.
J returned to the VIP room and he’s typing on his laptop. Frost is overseeing what’s going on in the club behind the smoky windows. You part the gold beads and step inside, barely seeing where you’re going; your vision is clouded from the liquid medication you just finished.
“I’m done, baby,” you announce, holding onto the armchair. “I’m drained, I don’t think I can go on that ride tonight. I need to rest, it hurts all over. Can we please go tomorrow?” you beg, closing your eyes when the stomach-turning vertigo sensation creeps up on you.
The Joker gives you a cold stare, still flustered from the earlier incident and not happy to find out about your rain check. He goes back to his typing, mumbling:
“If you’re so miserable, why don’t you hurry up and die, hmm?”
Frost immediately peeks your way, shocked about what came out of his boss’s mouth; he’s seen you having a lot of bad days before, but you never looked more in pain like you do now.
“Well…” you dig your nails in the purple leather and sigh, heartbroken. “If there is one thing I am very good at lately is dying. So… don’t worry, it will happen soon enough,” and you rush out, stumbling a few times while trying to get away from his venom as fast as possible.
5 more minutes pass and J finally stops typing, annoyed.
“Shit… … … Frost, go get her!” he voices out and Jonny moves away from the window and stops in front of him, speaking up without hesitation:
“Sir, that was very cruel to say to somebody struggling to survive from one day to the other.”
J’s temple is twitching, definitely not liking what Jonny just articulated with such vehemence.
“Did I ask for your opinion, Frost?!” he raises his voice, pissed at the trespass.
“Is this a rebellion of some sort?!”
“No, sir, I wouldn’t dare,” Jonny replies with a calm attitude, figuring out this is the best way to go about it.
“Then shut your mouth and bring me my girl!!!” The Joker snarls, considering blowing his trusted man’s brains out.
“Yes, sir,” is the last thing he discerns before the deafening music takes over the club.
Frost couldn’t find you and one of the bouncers reports that saw you driving away in J’s SUV. The news doesn’t go well with The Clown Prince of Crime.
“How is Y/N going to drive in the state she’s in?! She has to take her medications and can’t skip doses!!” J screams at everyone, taken aback by the conflict he created himself, not that he would ever admit it’s his fault. “We have to find her!!!” he directs the operation, instructing all of them to seek in some places he guesses you might be. They are searching all night, unable to find any traces of you.
Finally, around 7am, Richard reports he found J’s car parked near the beach, close to your favorite spot you like to go and look at the ocean. It’s a small, hidden strip of sand behind the highway; at least you went to one of the places The Joker thought you might go to. J doesn’t even know when he got there, driving so fast he almost got unwanted attention from the cops.
You spent the night on the beach, having to stop a lot of times on your way there because you had a hard time seeing and concentrating on driving. You didn’t take your pills, not really giving a damn since they don’t really help anyway as far as you’re concerned. You have a bag full of all the stuff you take, taking out a few at a time and tossing them in the ocean from the flat rock you found refuge on at the crack of dawn.
“That’s 2000 dollars a piece on the black market you’re throwing away Doll,” you hear J’s voice and ignore him, continuing to do as you please. You’re wheezing pretty loud, fighting to breathe since the salty, strong air puts quite the strain on your weakened lungs. You don't’ care: what’s another issue added to the others?!
You shrivel under your thick hoodie, covering your face even more, not wanting to see him.
J comes and sits by you, quietly watching the waves crushing on the nearby stones. He hears you sniffle but doesn’t attempt to uncover your head. His right arm reaches in front of you, holding a purple capsule in the palm of his hand:
“If you take the new med, you don’t have to take the white and brown tablets anymore. I’ll trade you…yes?” The Joker’s voice gets really deep as you move away from him, not replying. “Fine, then I’ll take it! I don’t want to waste 5000 dollars on just one capsule,” and he almost puts it in his mouth when you scoot back towards him and slap his hand. He drops the pill on the sandy rock and you are irked:
“Are you insane?!”
“Is this a trick question, kid?” he licks his lower lip, intrigued.
“It will make you sick, it’s not for healthy people!” you slowly blink and turn to finally face him. He inspects you and it doesn’t look great: your eyes are red from crying all night and the grimace of pain on your face lets him know you didn’t even take your painkillers; your labored breathing makes you shake a bit and the dried blood stains on the sleeve you used to clean your lips with after coughing disturb him.
“Somebody has to take it, it’s expensive!” The Joker has a smooth comeback (in his opinion).
“You have a shitty strategy, you know that?” you pick the capsule up from the sand, wiping it on your pants and swallow it, grumpier than you were before he arrived.
Without any warning, he buries his face in your lap, wrapping his arms around your knees. You try to push him away but he won’t budge.
“I don’t want you to die,” you hear the muttered sentence and it strikes a chord in your heart. “I don’t hate you,” he persists and you whimper when you feel his grip getting tighter. “But you can’t tell anybody, it will ruin my reputation,” he rambles on and you snort, wiping your tears. “As your knight in shining armor…”
“You’re not my knight in shining armor!” you interrupt, softly kicking his arm with your knee.
“Oh, I’m soooorry!” he lifts his head up from your lap, shifting so he can look up to you.” I didn’t see a huge line of suitors fighting for the title!” J sarcastically indicates. “You think that loser will ever show up?? Forget about it, it’s a myth! I’m the only one around so we gotta work with what we have, OK?… Just nod a yes, woman, and stop crying! Can we skip the drama for once?” he kisses your wrist and inhales your scent again. “You smell nice, what is it?” he diverts your attention since he masters this skill also.
“Death,” you divulge, smiling through tears.
He growls, exasperated, pinching your side.
“Shut up! You’re not dying!”
You take the small roll-on perfume decorated with a silver skull out of your pocket, showing him the name: Death.
“Why would you wear a fragrance with this name?!” J snaps, irked.
“It smells nice, you said so yourself,” you defend your choice, forgetting about your emotional surge.
“Gimme!” he urges you and you hand the tiny vial over. He takes it, glances at it for a few seconds then gets up and tosses it as far as he can in the ocean.
“Did you just…throw away my perfume?!”
“Yeah, it sucks! Use another one, you have so many,” The Joker cuts you off, keeping both hands on his bald head, satisfied at his accomplishment. Before you can protest some more, he proceeds with new updates:
“Tonight I’ll have Commissar Gordon kidnaped for you. I’ve been working on it for a month; we’ll take him to your Japanese oasis. Another thing on your dumb bucket list taken care of. “
You have such a happy smirk flourishing on your lips he feels he has no choice but to sit down by you again.
“You’ll get him for me?!”
“U-hum… Wanna kill him?” he pretends
not to notice your sudden cough that calms down after you cover your mouth with
the side of your hoodie.
“Kill him?! No way, he’s my favorite; I just want to see him.”
“Huh?! I thought Batsy is your favorite!” J waves his hands around, vexed.
“No, Batsy is your favorite, mine is Gordon; you know that,” and you are so dizzy you lean to rest your forehead on his shoulder. The new med must be very strong, you can already tell.
“I don’t know who you are anymore, Pumpkin,” he rolls his eyes, faking his surprise.
“Fuck…” you whisper, sweating even if
you are cold as ice. “This crap is messing me up, I think I need to go home
“Penthouse or your house?” J gives you the choice, instantly serious.
“My house, please,” you groan in pain when he helps you up. He signals you to get on his back and you obey, enjoying the piggyback ride. At this point it would be hard for you to walk anyway.
“Why do you have finding out who Batsy is on your list?! Like, why do we care to know who that jerk is ?! Our job is to keep him busy since he seems the type that gets bored easily, am I right? Hey, Doll, wake up,” he pats your leg and you moan, napping since you are so tired and uncomfortable. As soon as you get home, you’ll definitely need at least two painkillers.
The Joker continues to walk, basically talking to himself at this point.
“I know you also wanted to steal more diamonds but I can’t take you on a heist like this: consider it crossed off your idiotic Bucket list. I got you 3 boxes of jewelry so it should be fine for now. We gotta work with what we have, hm?”
He lifts you up higher on his back and struts on the beach.
“Hey, Y/N, I’ll send the boys to get the other vehicle… God, Princess, you’re so light,” he puckers his lips, listening to your heavy breathing in his ear. “I really don’t want you to die…” he stops in his tracks and gently spanks your thighs behind his back. “But I really do hate you, I lied when I said I don’t…”
“Mmmm…” you grumble in your sleep, probably out of it.
J takes advantage of you not being able to fight him and restarts walking:
“You know why it’s clouded? I bet you anything it is because of your big butt, hm? We are having a solar eclipse right now and you’re responsible,” he grins and squints his eyes when he senses your fingers nipping his skin.
“I heard that…” you protest, too tired to do more and doze off again.
The Joker mischievously snickers, sprinting towards the cars he can see in the distance.
He is not the ideal knight in shining armor and you are not the same woman you were before you got ill. But you gotta work with what you have.
Life’s too short to complain.
Also read: MASTERLIST