take a swing at

my hero

for @probablyunnecessary

Pairing:  Darcy Lewis/Sam Wilson
Word Count: 348
Prompt:  #1.  “You must be a bad cook when I can smell it through the wall..”


“You must be a bad cook when I can smell it through the wall…”  Sam was leaning against her door frame, a bottle of wine under one arm.  “I take it your dinner party prep is in full swing?”  

Darcy sighed heavily and wiped her sweaty brow.  “It’s just not coming together, Sam.”  She held the door open for him to walk in after her.  

“Shoulda catered it,” he said bluntly, setting the wine on the countertop and grabbing one of her spare aprons.  “Where do you need me?  And please don’t let it be over where that mess is…” he gestured towards the rapidly boiling marinara sauce on the back burner.  

“Oh fucknuts…” Darcy groaned and hurried over to the stove.  “I had the wrong burner…” she tossed the pot holder down on the floor and slid down beside it.  “Hand me that wine.  I need a drink before I call the other six people to tell them it’s cancelled.  How convincingly do you think I can fake ebola over the phone?”  

He opened a drawer and pulled out her corkscrew.  “I’ll pour you a drink, but you’re not cancelling, babe.”  

“I’m not?”  

“Nope.  And here’s why.  See, you didn’t know that your neighbor just so happens to be friends with one of the premier chefs in NYC right now.  Does the name ‘Natasha Romanov’ ring any bells?”  

Darcy pricked up immediately.  “Oh my god, are you kidding?  You know the Black effing Widow of Manhattan?  Do you think she’d let us order take out from The Red Room?”

“I’mma do ya one better.  I think she’ll come over and cater this thing for you.  She owes me a favor or twelve.”  Sam set the glass of wine on the counter and pulled out his phone.  “You drink that.  And then go get ready.  We’ll have this dinner on the stove in twenty, Lewis.”  

“You are literally saving my ass, Sam.  My boss and his wife?  They’re coming to this?  And…”  

“I live for saving your ass, Darce.  And you can kiss mine later.  Go.  Get ready!”

kurosmind  asked:

Banter thing, ❤️ with Fael and either Mordred or Mae? :D

YEE!! (Oh god I hope I got the Fael boy right.)

-

Maedwyn: “Taking offense to the ‘no mages can handle frontline combat’ stereotype?”

Fael: “It’s practically discrimination. Not that I mind people holding onto their wrong opinions. They are allowed to have them.”

Maedwyn: “Makes it easier to impress when you come at them with your glowing sword and over-wide swings, yes?”

Fael: “I will listen to YOUR complaints the day you stop getting knocked on your ass from my over-wide swings, warrior.”

Maedwyn: “So confident! I take it I can stop giving you every sparring match we have?”

Fael: “Some impressive actor you are, to slam your face into the ground repeatedly and so convincingly.”

Maedwyn: “And yet only an amateur compared to your ballet-on-the-battlefield routine.”

Cassandra: “Knock it off before I knock both of you out.”

MBTI Types When They’re Not Thriving OR Surviving

Scl(any sort of stress/sadness)

INTJ: Super withdrawn, swings between gratification and wanting happiness, and unhealthy single-mindedness. Existential angst. Needs people’s support but rejects company. Bottles up issues and then it bursts out.

ENTJ: Prone to attack others, often over the very issues they’re insecure about. Becomes a workaholic and ignores feelings of deep dissatisfaction, or stops giving a crap about anything. 

INFJ: Despairs of all things, just can’t see The Point of it. Goes through days mechanically, without purpose. Resists all help, considering it to be probing. Can’t get anything done. 

ENFJ: Laughs a bit too loudly and smiles a bit too widely. Escapes to private places, but feels lost. Tells their problems to someone close to them, but doesn’t accept any advice.

INFP: Isolate, isolate isolate. Sees the negative in everything and can’t see others’ love/affection for them. Loses their ‘purpose’ and drive, can’t find meaning in anything. Idealizes what they can’t have. Perpetual self-pity-party. 

ENFP: Super excitable, overdoes everything. Cannot focus at all, and their own emotions/reactions are out of their control. Breaks down sobbing. Unwilling to actually move forward. 

ISFP: Mull around in their own feelings, hates the world around them, because it’s failed them. Spiraling moodiness, “what ifs,” “should’ve done this,” but no one will ever see that. They themselves won’t admit it.

ESFP: Unusually critical, closed-minded, and overly concerned with matters of appearance over substance. Terrible sense of logic, yet argumentative all the same. Delves into the physical world in order to escape their mental one. 

ISTJ: Scattered mind, unable to think coherently. Becomes judgmental and passive-aggressive. Super pessimistic, takes on a me vs. the world mentality.

ESTJ: Intensely prickly, will take offense at anything but prefers to strike first and strike hard. If you hit a nerve, they’ll cut you out of their lives (for the time being). Tries to act happy and in control, but actually really moody. 

ISFJ: Withdrawn, tries to please everyone but is really passive-aggressive about it. Takes on a martyr complex. Refuses help while throwing a pity party because “no one cares about them.” 

ESFJ: Seeks control of people and surroundings, bossy and irritable. Might manipulate others into feeling bad, too. Denies that they’re the problem. 

INTP: Makes a lot of jokes about how things aren’t okay, but aggressively resists anyone’s sincere attention. Turns flat and emotionless, takes compartmentalizing to an unhealthy extreme. 

ENTP: Scatterbrained, cannot focus. Swings between extremes of emotions, but makes a point to show a falsely sanguine face to people. Feels like they’re crumbling from the inside. 

ISTP: Compulsive and reckless. Has a “screw this” attitude and pushes away actual problems. May or may not confide in people, but too down to take any advice. 

ESTP: Use bravado and ‘self-confidence’ to mask their insecurities. Get a rush from attention, whether it’s positive or negative, and thus seek it out. Obsessive mentality, particularly concerning negative outcomes.

2

Trump is threatening them if they vote against the bill, if you’re their constituent (or know someone who lives in their states), call them and make sure these reps know they answer to the American people and not to Trump.

Vote will take place on Thursday, March 23 - tell them to vote no on AHCA aka Trumpcare.

4

     “The blood of the First Men still flows in the veins of the Starks, and we hold to the belief that the man who passes the sentence should swing the sword. If you would take a man’s life, you owe it to him to look into his eyes and hear his final words. And if you cannot bear to do that, then perhaps the man does not deserve to die.”

Things to do for your little:

🌸Uppies
🌸Pick them up and spin them around
🌸Teach them new things
🌸Color with them
🌸Make them nummy food
🌸Do silly voices
🌸Feed them
🌸Tickles (bonus: ask them who your good little girl/boy is when you do)
🌸Hold their hand everywhere
🌸Tell them you’re proud of them
🌸Encourage them
🌸Give them allll the kissies
🌸Let them help you with “big” work (it makes them feel extra special)
🌸Take them to the park and push them on the swings
🌸Pull them into your lap

Zodiac signs who share unexpected similarities (Rising and Sun)

Aries/Gemini  Fast-past, quick thinkers, prone to mood swings, easily bored, impatient, witty, comedic

Taurus/Cancer Both take pride in their home, and home life. Traditionalists, loyal, not afraid to voice their opinions, values security.

Leo/Capricorn Over achievers, inspiring, high-minded, initiative, helpful, fiery tempers, protectors

Virgo/Aquarius Intelligent, analytical , can become aloof and/or detached, pays attention to detail, both prone to be a hypochondriac.

Libra/Scorpio Passionate, puts pressure on oneself to be “perfect”, hopeless romantics, a need for control, lustful

Pisces/Sagittarius Spiritually minded, intuitive, animal lovers empathetic, secretly sensitive, free spirits

An Overrated Cliché

Summary: That Spider-Man kiss video was definitely cliché and cheesy, which is exactly the reason that Spidey and Y/N have to do it.

Word Count: 2235

Warnings: Heights and Swearing.

A/N: casually drops this after almost a year without writing like okay!! okay!! please enjoy this (it has good format!!) :0 and thank you to @buckys-fossil for actually tolerating me and proofreading this, i love you!!! also this is a gender neutral fic!!!! if you followed me when i was strictly an aesthetic blog well then, hello i write fics too

Originally posted by kimtaeyoen

Summer weather was the worst.

Summer holiday wasn’t that much better, what with having cabin fever and all. It had been a week since you had left the comfort of your apartment and three hours since you flopped onto the couch and lay there. All of your friends had been busy, Michelle doing her protesting, Liz with college preparation. It left you with nothing much to do other than lounge around your home.

The fan placed on the coffee table was set on revolve and hit your body with cool breezes. Laying on your side and absentmindedly watching season three of Phineas and Ferb, you felt jealous that those children were creative enough to make the most of your summer. It was a big contrast to you, as you hadn’t done anything the entire few weeks of summer there had been.

A thought suddenly came to mind and you decided to act on it. Shutting off the TV and fan, you put on actual clothes and took care of your hygiene before fixing your hair and pulling on your sneakers. Making sure to had some money and the house key, you texted your mom.

to: mom
hey i’m leaving the apartment for the first time in days are you proud of me

It didn’t take her long to reply.

from: mom
Fine with me, I was about to kick you out and make you do something.

You laughed at her text before tucking your phone away and leaving the apartment and locking the door.

Keep reading

No You Go Next!

I was playing a 2.5 campaign as a human fighter with my dad as the DM.  Our party had come across an abandoned inn filled with 100 orcs which attacked us on sight.

DM: Okay, Allyssa (me), a group of Orcs is running towards you, what are you doing?

Me: I’ll take a swing with my long sword at the one nearest to me.

DM: Roll

Me: 20!  That’s automatically max damage!

DM: The one in front running towards you keeps running as you swing your sword to the side and cut his head clean off.  Another one is moving to attack you, only slightly phased by what just happened to their leader.

Me: I’ll swing again.  *Nat 20* A 20 again!

DM: As the orc runs at you, you bring your sword down and pull it up through his body, cutting him clean in half.  Both halves of his body go racing past you on either side of you.  At this point the orcs have formed a circle around you and seem more hesitant to attack.

Me: I’ll attack whatever one is closest to me.

I ended up rolling another 20 and two 18s and the orcs ran away from me only to die by the fire wizard’s hand.  My dad and the rest of the party called me the blender from then on.

Webs || Peter Parker Imagine

Pairing: Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1,331 words

Request from @bbparker : Hey could you please do an imagine with Peter Parker where your cat (or your dog aha) runs away and you’re upset over it but Spider-Man brings it back (because you’re obvs friends with Peter) for you and the whole cheesy Spider-Man kiss happens? Thanks very much! :) (Also my @ is BBParker but my tumbles being a bitch aha so could you pls tag?)

No spoilers, fam. I didn’t edit it I’m sorry

Originally posted by fyeahmarvel

Y/N strolled through her neighborhood with her new dog on his leash. As an early birthday gift, her family got her a new dog. She hadn’t decided on a name for the dog, but she thought it would be nice to take the pooch on his first walk around the neighborhood. The dog had been pulling on the leash hard for a while, but Y/N just thought he was excited. The dog suddenly got out of his collar and starting bolting down the street.

“Come back!” She shouted, running after the small creature, but he was too fast for her. Y/N stopped, resting against a lamp post while trying to regain her breath as she watched the dog flee from her sight. “Come back,” she whispered breathlessly, hoping the dog would miraculously stop, and run back to her.

Y/N slumped her shoulders, tears starting to build up in her eyes. She dragged her body back to her house. She saw her front door quickly approaching. What would she tell her family,she thought. Yeah, the new dog you just got me escaped from the collar cause it wasn’t tight enough, and ran away.

She opened the door solemnly and rushed to her room trying to avoid any confrontation. She jumped onto her bed, putting her head in her hands. The poor dog was probably all scared and alone. She looked up at the ceiling, trying to stop her tears. Y/N grabbed her phone from her pocket, wanting to vent to her best friend, Peter.

Y/N has had a crush on Peter since as long as she’s known him. She always thought that he was such a great person, who deserved the entire world. When he told her about the Stark Internship and going to Germany to fight Captain America as the friendly neighborhood Spider-Man she was shocked. She wouldn’t have ever thought that the man, or as she realized boy, swinging around the city was her best friend.

Peter also had a crush on her, he just never voiced his thoughts. If she didn’t like him once he told her, that would’ve ruined there entire friendship. Peter would rather have her as a friend than not have her at all. Telling her that he was Spider-Man was the first step to confessing his feelings because that meant he trusted her enough. One day he was going to tell her how he felt, one day. 

Hey Pete. She typed quickly on her phone.

Hola, Y/N. What’s up?

Y/N sighed, thank god he wasn’t busy.

Can I call you? She texted back, biting her lip. He didn’t reply, instead his contact name appeared on her screen with a green and red button. She pressed the green one, letting out a sigh. She press her phone to her ear.

“Y/N, is everything alright?” He asked in a worried tone. She heard shuffling through the phone.

“I lost my dog.” She sniffled, trying to sound somewhat normal. The shuffling in the background stopped, “You don’t have a dog.” He said slowly, not wanting to provoke his friend in any way.

“I just got him today as an early birthday gift. Look, I’ll text you a picture of him. If you see him while your fighting crime, can you like, get him. I don’t know what to do.” She said sadly, shaking her head.

“Of course,” he replied but paused, causing more shuffling, “Look, I gotta go.The whole superhero thing. I’ll talk to you later alright?” He stated, his voice now slightly muffled. Y/N raised an eyebrow but ignored the situation. “Alright, bye.” Peter ended the call, not replying.

It had been an hour since her dog escaped her grasp. She decided to go out looking for him again, hopping for the best.It was starting to get dark outside but Y/N wanted to make sure that the poor animal was okay. So she put her shoes back on and grabbed the leash, with the collar still attached, leaving the house.

She looked around a few blocks but sadly, came up empty handed. Y/N was ready to give up when she heard barking coming from the alleyway. “Just my luck, the scariest alley on the block.” She mumbled to herself, walking into the dark abyss.

“Hey, puppy, where are you?” Y/N said softly as if she was talking to a baby. She heard barking coming from above her. The dog was on the fire escape to one of the buildings. “What the fu-” Before she could answer,she heard footsteps behind her. Terrified, she slowly turned around.

Y/N was met with the red and blue tights of Spider-Man. The man stood, waving a hand towards her, “Hey, Y/N.” He said slightly confused.

“Oh thank god,” She said letting out a breath she didn’t know she was holding while placing her hand on her chest, “I thought it was someone that was going to kill me.” She let out a nervous chuckle.

“Are you still out here, looking for your dog?” He asked crossing his arms. Y/N brought a hand up to scratch the back of her neck.

“I found him actually. But he somehow managed to get stuck on the fire escape.” She stated, pointing to the adorable dog above her.

“Well,” Peter started dramatically, “I think I can help.” He cockily said, shooting his webs toward the dog’s direction. Spider-Man was hanging from his webs from a staircase that was above the dog. He spun himself upside down, now facing the panting dog. “Hey there little buddy.” He said, grabbing the dog with one hand, holding the web with the other.

He slide down the web, right in front of Y/N, handing her the dog. She grabbed the dog, “Awe, you’re okay.” She said, petting the dog, putting him down. She took the leash that she was holding, now putting it on the dog securely.Y/N stood up, holding the leash tightly in one hand, giving him a slight closed lip smile. She reached her hands up, right under the opening of his mask. She pulled it down, just under his nose. It’s now or never. She thought to herself

She leaned in, closing her eyes. Peter closed his eyes as well, not knowing what else to do. She put one hand on his masked cheek. She placed her lips upon his, in a short yet sweet passionate kiss. Y/N pulled away, opening her eyes slowly, with a smile on her face. “Thank you Peter.” Y/N beamed, walking out of the alley with her dog beside her.

Peter stayed where he was on his webs, unable to move from what just happened. He jumped down from his position, standing on the ground with his jaw slacked. He then smiled widely, pulling his mask down and swinging away.

Y/N slammed her from door shut, taking the leash off of the dog. She was so happy that she had found the dog and even happier that she saw Spider-Man. Kissed him even. She smiled, running to her room, giggling. 

A few weeks later, Peter decided to ask her out. She obviously said yes. The two where hanging out at Y/N house in her room. They heard footsteps coming towards her room, which turned out to be her dog. The dog walked up to Peter sniffing him, before starting to lick the teenage boy. The act made Peter laugh and pet the dog’s soft head.

“What did you name him?” Peter asked, turning to Y/N while still petting the dog. Y/N chuckled, “Umm, I named him Webs.”

His eyes widened, with a small smile evident on his face, “You didn’t.”

“I had to,” She said shrugging your shoulders, “You’re his savior after all.”