take a look at your business card

Tarot card reveal! 

  1. Two of Air (or Swords) reversed - You may be feeling pressured to make a quick decision, leading you to do so even though it’s against your best judgement. You’re afraid to speak up because you fear repercussions so you stay quiet instead. This card reversed urges you to think with your mind and not your heart - use logic instead of emotion for the best outcome in your situation.
  2. Queen of Water (or Cups) reversed - This card reversed indicates a lack of emotional balance - either you’re too busy trying to please others without keeping your own feelings in mind, or you are too caught up with the feelings of others and end up ignoring your own needs. In the end, your emotions are getting the best of you - logic will prevail. Step back and take a look at your own needs before trying to help everyone around you.
  3. Four of Fire (or Wands) - A card of celebration and completion. You’ve come full circle on a project or endeavor and now is the time to acknowledge your accomplishments. At this point, you have an idea of what works for you and what doesn’t, so you can make positive changes to your surroundings to move forward with success. Thank those who have helped you, and keep up the good work. 

On Saturday I went to the opera with a friend and we started putting together an Objectively Perfect romantic fantasy. It goes like this:

SHE is a high-powered highly paid something in the City. Executives tremble before her. She is in her forties and wears exquisitely tailored suits and works fourteen hour days. She does not have time for love.

YOU are a poverty-stricken late-twenties millennial who will never be able to afford a house.

You meet by chance (you are a waitress at a corporate event, perhaps.) She has been thinking of setting up a mistress for a while. She buys you a cottage in the country. She does not live there: she has a flat in central London worth seven figures. Every other weekend she comes down to visit you, in your cottage, and her only requirements are that you need to have cooked something and you should be wearing a low-cut top. She has given you a credit card so you can buy the kind of clothes she likes to see you in. She really does not mind what you do with yourself the rest of the time. Every once in a while she needs a date to an event (an opera, gallery opening, colleague’s wedding to his fourth wife). Sometimes this involves flying you out to New York. The flight is always business class.

She is pretty bossy in the bedroom, but you’re into that.

Eventually you fall in love, but it takes a while because she is so, so busy. Meanwhile you look after your little cottage, practice cooking delicious food, and work on your book. It is heaven.

Blunt // Cole Sprouse

Can your write one like the only you just did were the reader is younger but this time she is dating Cole and it’s a secret for a while because he is older and everyone already wants him to be with Lili

Warnings: A freaking intense and scary Uno game, Dick related joke(s)?

Word Count: 1281

Characters: Cole Sprouse, KJ Apa, Trevor Stines, Casey Cott, Madelaine Petsch, Lili Reinhart, Camila Mendes, Ross Butler

A/N: I have used the name ‘Kairi’ (if you can guess where this is from, I will give you so much love) as the character you’re playing. It just makes a little more sense to me instead of having to write ‘y/n’ as your character. Because you are you, and your character is Kairi. xoxo

—- —-

“Uno!” You shouted, grinning as you placed down the draw four card you had been waiting to unleash on Cole, a grin across your lips. “Come on, boy. Pick the cards up!” You laughed, looking down at the last card you had left. “Oh, and I change the colour to… blue!”

Cole picked up his four cards, but you were too busy celebrating in your head to notice the smirk on his lips. “Draw four,” Cole muttered slyly, placing down the card, looking at you with a sinister look.

Your mouth dropped open and your eyes widened. “Are you serious!?” You exclaimed, slamming down the card and huffing, crossing your arms. You were a sore loser, to say the least. “So you’re allowed to put a draw four down, but I’m not?” Cole laughed, running his hands through his hair and taking a deep breath. “I think we need a break from this game. We’ve been playing for over two hours.”

You stood up, brushing off your pants and stretched, hearing the popping sounds coming from your back. You took a deep breath and looked outside of your trailer, seeing the sun was starting to set. “We’re still doing the Jughead and Kairi scene tonight, aren’t we?” You asked the raven haired boy, grabbing your coat before you followed him outside, walking besides him.

“Yeah. We have to meet the producers at around 11pm. Just so it’s dark enough.” Cole nodded, smiling down at you before making his way to where all the others were sitting.

Truth is, you and Cole had been dating for about 5 months now, but you both kept your feelings hidden away in public and left it all for behind doors. Both of your family knew, and were a bit hesitant at first, since you were 19 (turning 20) and Cole was 24. Your families eventually got used to it, and you got on along so well with Dylan. It was everything he wanted in a relationship.

But there was a flaw. And that was Lili.

Now, she wasn’t a flaw herself. You found her absolutely breathtaking. She was gorgeous. But everyone wanted her to be with Cole, and that’s why you both decided to keep the relationship under wraps.

You shoved your hands in your pockets, smiling as you sat down next to Madelaine and Casey, smiling as she slid her plate across to you, the sweet potato fries already making you drool. “Are (Y/N) and I the only ones that have a late night scene to shoot?” Cole asked, looking around the table. He looked at you, gave you a small smile and turned his attention to Ross.

“I’m sure Lili will wait up for you, Cole.” He laughed, making Lili blush. You ran your fingers through your hair, taking a deep breath and continued to share the plate of fries with Madelaine. You looked at Cole, who was giving a fake laugh.

—- —-

“I’ll be back, guys.” You stood up, announcing that you wanted to take a walk and revise some lines by yourself before your scene. “Need some company?” Cole asked, raising an eyebrow. “We are shooting this scene together, if you need some help or anything.” You shook your head, smiling softly before grabbing your phone from the table and walking off towards the entrance of the lot.

“Need anyone to go with you, Hon?” The night shift guard asked you, but you shook your head, smiling. “I’ll be fine, thanks Linda.” You continued your walk out of the set and took a deep breath, hands in pockets once again.

Your thoughts were startled by your phone ringing. You looked at the caller I.D and saw ‘Sprouse #1’ with the many emoji’s next to his name. You answered the phone, holding it to your ear. “What’s up?” You asked, the main street lit up by the night life of the town.

“Where are you? We have three hours to be on set. You need to get ready.” Cole didn’t even bother saying hello. You took a deep breath, looking over your shoulder. The lot wasn’t even that far away. You had been out for about 15 minutes.

“I’ll be back in another 15 or 20 minutes, Cole. I’m fine. I just need some space.” You sighed, biting your lip and turning around. You walked into a corner store, still on the phone to your co-star and boyfriend. “No, you’ll be back now, please. Just so I know you’re safe.” Cole had whispered the last part, and you could almost picture him looking around, making sure no one was listening.

“I’m just getting a smoothie, Cole. Give me a few minutes.” You sighed, ordering the smoothie and paying for it. You took a seat, phone still to your ear. “Now. There is something on your mind. What’s the matter?” You questioned, biting your lip.

“I want to tell them, (Y/N). I don’t want them to keep trying to make me date Lili. I love her to bits. But I’m going to pull an Archie Andrews here and say I don’t love her like that. She’s a friend and that’s what I want it to stay as.” He sighed, and you could hear his trailer door shut behind him. “I just love you so much and I don’t see why a five age gap is a big deal. I just want to tell them.”

You took a deep breath, getting up and thanking the person at the counter as they called you over for your smoothie. You walked out of the store, taking a sip. “Well, I’m on my way back now. So if you want to meet me at the front and we can do it together, I’ll be happy to.” You complied with him, a smile on your lips. Now you can finally post about him without having to use the ‘best friend’ hashtag.

—- —-

“Fancy seeing you here.” You grinned, seeing Cole in all his beauty. He smiled, turning around to walk besides you. The both of you walked slowly, a silence overcoming the both of you. “How do we do this?” You asked, looking at him. He looked at you, a small smile on his lips. “You’ll find out.”

You had been sitting back at the table for about 25 minutes now. You were due in hair and make-up in another 10, and Cole still hadn’t said anything about the two of you.

“Hey, hey guys. What do you call a 3.14 metre snake?” KJ spoke up, making you furrow your eyebrows at the stupid sounding joke. “It’s a pithon. Get it. Pi. No? Yes?” You had bursted out laughing at the simple, but so stupid maths related joke. “See! At least someone enjoyed my joke!”

“I’m sure Lili enjoys Cole’s snake,” Trevor had spoken up, making you look at him.

“I’m dating (Y/N).” Cole had said it so bluntly that it had almost slipped past. You looked at him, eyes widened at how quickly he had said it. He looked at you, shrugging before going back to his fries. Madelaine and Camila had looked at you, jaws dropped and eyes wide.

“What can I say, I’m into blunt guys.” You shrugged, a laugh coming from your lips as you stood up, leaving to get ready for your next scene.

Cole had gotten up, following you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, making the rest of the cast chatter about the both of you.

“That was very blunt,” you commented, looking up at the brunette.

“I honestly had not planned that.” Cole opened the trailer door for you, a smile on his lips.

“I could tell.”

Daddy Issues

Pairing: JungKook & Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst

Summary: A top student, marks always high. College was not a dream for her…Except she didn’t have enough money. Her parents never earned much so they literally took care of themselves. Her boss acting as a dick towards her she quited her job. Even though she had no idea what she let herself into this was her only option.

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How to Get the Most Out of Your Tarot Reading

Tarot readings are cool, but why not make them AWESOME? Here’s some ways you can be sure to get the most out of your divination situation.

🔮Have a Question In Mind- This sounds pretty obvious, but it’s astounding how many people I read for that have no idea what they want out of it. Wanting a general reading is fine, but definitely have an answer to the question “what would you like to know?” when you sit down/place an order. Thinking about what you want helps you solidify the question with the cards, and helps you avoid thinking an hour later, “Drat! I should have asked about _____.”

🔮Think about How You Frame your Question- Tarot has different strengths and weaknesses, like any divination form. Playing to these strengths will help your reader give you a more fulfilling answer! For example, I once had a querent purchase multiple readings from me asking for very specific times of things. While tarot CAN be used in that way, it is much harder and in my experience usually comes at the expense of more valuable information. A better version of, “when will X happen?” is “what will make X happen?” or “What must I do before X?” That way you know if X requires specific action on your part, instead of sitting around waiting for “Oh, maybe about three months” and nothing happening. Phrasing your question in a way that milks the most information out of the cards makes for a better reading!

🔮Know Your Reader- First and foremost, a tarot reader is not the same as a psychic. A lot of psychics use tarot cards as a tool, but most people just offering readings can’t tell you the name of your future spouse or the color of your great-grandfather’s shirt when he died. Secondly, every reader is different! Some are intuitive readers and pull cards from the middle of the deck, some have you choose the cards, others deal from the top, and that’s just one example. Every reader has a different style to their interpretation that makes for a unique experience, so if possible, be picky with who you choose to purchase from. Some readers work better with certain types of questions. Maybe some give more detail in their interpretations. Some readers tell a little story about each card, which people can like or dislike. Some have trouble delivering bad news. Some just may not resonate with you! If you have the ability to check out multiple readers, especially online, definitely do so and find one who you think lines up with your needs the best.

🔮Don’t Be Afraid to Confide- The phrase, “I have a question in mind, but I’m not going to tell you” makes me want to rip my hair out. In my experience, people do this less because they want answers and more because they want to be impressed by a display of Tarot’s accuracy and the reader’s intuitiveness. They want to see the reader still pick up on the Truth with no outside input. This is all fine and dandy, but it’s not going to give you a lot of information. Why? It’s going to be vague! I can’t connect the dots as well if I don’t have half of them. It’s okay to give me some information about your question; it helps me pick out signs I may have not found significant without context. That said, I understand the fear of just having a reader use your words to tell you what you already know and call it divination. So don’t feel like you need to over share, either! If you want to know about whether to break up with your partner over that argument two days ago or not, a simple, “I’ve been having relationship problems and would like some insight on how to move forward.” Should work fine. That should allow you to still get a display of the reader’s intuitive ability (identifying the specifics of your situation) while still getting an actual answer.

🔮Interpret For Yourself- Yeah yeah, do my job for me. But not quite. Sometimes there are symbols that strike us that the reader may not emphasize in their interpretation. You know yourself better than they do, after all. If you think the cards are saying something extra to you, feel free to include that in your personal takeaway! If a reader asks, “what does this mean to you?/does anything stand out to you?” (this happens more in person than online) it’s totally okay to say, “I find X really interesting because Y. How do you think that ties in with the rest of the reading?” Feel free to start a conversation over it. Pick these cards apart with your reader. I, at least, love when querents do this. It shows they’re invested and engaged, and it lets me pull even more information out for them.

🔮Take a Picture- If you can. Sometimes online readings come with a photo of your spread! (Mine do.) Look back on the photo with a fresh mind later and reflect on it. Have you come up with any new personal interpretations for it? (Once I had a reading that I thought was about starting a business, but realized later it was about me writing a book!) What do each the cards actually mean? Are there any patterns in the spread you notice? It can also be fun to look back on it much later and see how accurate it was!

🔮Get Readings from Multiple People- I like a little variety, but I also just like people. I have people I go to for when I need a really solid dependable reading, but I also enjoy talking to other readers and seeing how they do it differently. I know it’s helped me improve a lot as a reader. If you’re able, consider getting your question answered through multiple sources (but be respectful, we’re still people.) See if there are any common threads between the two interpretations (it happens quite frequently.) See how they differ! It’s more work and money but is usually fairly interesting.

🔮Don’t Take it Too Seriously- At the end of the day, getting a reading is not going to change your life. Only you do that. While tarot can be a magnificent tool for insight, it is not an actual changing force in and of itself. Don’t stress too hard over it and be sure to use it alongside your own judgement, intuitiveness, heart, and common sense. And most importantly, enjoy it for the sake of enjoying an art form!

If you’d like to purchase a reading from me, you can do so here!

Originally posted by limoniume

♥ TEXTS FROM LAST NIGHT MEME
feel free to adjust sentences to make it fit your muse better!

  • [ TEXT ] I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
  • [ TEXT ] This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left…bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
  • [ TEXT ] I bet your mom’s never met a girl who’s thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
  • [ TEXT ] Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry’s mind
  • [ TEXT ] You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn’t have predicted the housing crisis.
  • [ TEXT ] I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
  • [ TEXT ] I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
  • [ TEXT ] I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
  • [ TEXT ] Don’t take a pillow from my bed. You don’t know which ones of them my vagina has been on
  • [ TEXT ] I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that’s not awesome customer service, I don’t know what is.
  • [ TEXT ] my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it’s literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
  • [ TEXT ] that’s what I’m here for. I’m literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
  • [ TEXT ] sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
  • [ TEXT ] All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
  • [ TEXT ] Dude I turned down free booze. I think I’m growing as a person.
  • [ TEXT ] Can’t tell if it’s the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
  • [ TEXT ] I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
  • [ TEXT ] it was a hallmark card with butt plugs
  • [ TEXT ] Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It’ll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
  • [ TEXT ] It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
  • [ TEXT ] His ex told me that she wanted me to “take care of” him but from the way she said it I couldn’t tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
  • [ TEXT ] If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
  • [ TEXT ] UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
  • [ TEXT ] We’re lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we’re okay. I think they all understand.
  • [ TEXT ] Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you’ve dug for yourself. asking for a friend
  • [ TEXT ] i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering “why” in various inflections.
  • [ TEXT ] Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
  • [ TEXT ] Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
  • [ TEXT ] I couldn’t find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
  • [ TEXT ] Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I’ve never met before.
  • [ TEXT ] Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
  • [ TEXT ] how do i act around someone who’s shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
  • [ TEXT ] he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
  • [ TEXT ] I never imagine I’d say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
  • [ TEXT ] Why can’t they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I’m meant to be?
  • [ TEXT ] There’s nothing like when u really click with a stripper
  • [ TEXT ] Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
  • [ TEXT ] I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
  • [ TEXT ] Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
  • [ TEXT ] He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
  • [ TEXT ] That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
  • [ TEXT ] You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him “shouldn’t you be yelling at dragons”
  • [ TEXT ] I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.

karniajoy  asked:

Warrior trainees asking Reiner is he had/has a girlfriend and Reiner describing Bertolt for the 3 sentence meme?

[this prompt is amazing and I’ve been dying to fulfill it! spoilers up to and including chapter 93]

“Reiner, was there ever anyone special in your life?” Gabi asks, curious and innocent.

Reiner sighs, realising he’s not going to get much further with the book he’s reading; it’s practically impossible to read when the trainees decide to occupy almost half of his bed during their free time before lights out.

“Of course not;” Falco replies on Reiner’s behalf, “do you really think he had time for stuff like that?”

Gabi stops braiding Zofia’s hair to snap at Falco, “I wasn’t talking to you!”

“Hey.” Galliard’s stern voice cuts through the bickering, “Pieck is trying to rest, so keep your voices down or I’ll take you back to your room.”

Gabi apologises, but her curiousity isn’t sated; she turns to Reiner and asks again with pleading eyes, “Come on Reiner, was there anyone?”

The blond looks to his right at Galliard, but he’s still busy making notes at his desk; acting as if he’s not interested in the trainees’ childish conversation.

“Yeah, there was someone.” Reiner says.

Gabi and Zofia exchange excited looks, and even Udo is getting drawn into the conversation, losing interest in his card game with Falco.

“What were they like?” Gabi practically squeals with excitement.

Reiner scratches the stubble on his chin as he considers his response; there is so much he could say about the distant memory of the person he loves. He settles on something simple, “They were reliable; they were always there when I needed them.”

Zofia chimes in now with her own question, “Were you going to bring them home with you?”

“That was always what we wanted. After the mission, we were going to go home and,” Reiner pauses, but then realises that the trainees won’t know who he’s talking about, so he doesn’t need to feel embarrassed, “I was going to ask them to marry me.”

Gabi covers her mouth with both her hands to hold back a high-pitched squeal, while Zofia adds, “That’s so romantic.”

“Would Zofia and I have been bridesmaids for the wedding?” Gabi’s voice gets louder in her excitement.

Reiner can’t help but chuckle at Gabi’s question, “Sure; and Falco could have been the ring bearer.”

Gabi, Zofia and Udo erupt into laughter as Falco blushes, embarrassed by the suggestion.

“T-That’s stupid! Why would you want to get married anyway, knowing how little time you’ve got left?”

Falco’s outburst changes the mood, and suddenly the children aren’t laughing anymore. However, it doesn’t get rid of Reiner’s soft smile, “Sometimes you can’t help falling in love. Maybe you’ll understand when you get older Falco.”

This only causes Falco’s cheeks to grow a deeper shade of red, and he averts his gaze to stare at the floor instead.

“It’s getting late;” Galliard stands from his chair, “it’s time you lot went to bed.”

There are some complaints from Gabi; Zofia and Udo try their luck too, but soon enough Galliard is ushering them out of the room. As he leaves, he makes the quickest glance in Reiner’s direction, but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to use words; Reiner knows what he’s thinking. If he’s truly inherited Ymir’s memories, then Galliard will know exactly who Reiner is talking about; Ymir always knew about how Reiner felt.

Once they’re out of the room, Reiner picks up his book again, only to be interrupted by the only other person left in the room.

“He would have said yes.” Pieck murmurs from her bed. She’s had her eyes closed the entire time the trainees were in the room, so Reiner assumed she was already asleep.

Caught off guard by her statement he says, “What?”

“Bertolt;” she mumbles as she turns in her bed, “he would have said ‘yes’ if you asked him to marry you.”

Reiner’s stomach turns; it’s the same kind of nerves he used to feel as a teenager when he held Bertolt close or thought about kissing him. It’s a feeling he hasn’t felt in so long.

He knows Pieck’s words are meant to comfort him, and they do to some extent; but they also come with a dull ache. With such a short lifespan, he always knew he was only ever going to have one love in his life; and even after spending four years without Bertolt, that love still hadn’t diminished, and Reiner doubted it ever would.

Better Than a Stripper

Summary: Bucky never planned on the night ending in handcuffs and a hole in his ceiling. But what else do you expect when it comes to his 30th birthday party? (Modern-Day Alternate Universe, One-shot)

Author’s Note: Here’s something different. No reader insert. But still a hell of a lot of fun. (P.S. All this Avengers: Infinity War content is killing me. I’m watching Spiderman: Homecoming today. And to say I’m not ready is a understatement.)

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Bucky Barnes

Words: 833

Originally posted by ohevansmycaptain

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Life in Color (Part 3)

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Summary: Modern AU. An artist in every sense of the word, Bucky sees color in everything, vibrant as they fill his world with magic. What happens when the colors fade?

Word Count: 1154

Originally posted by bovaria

Wanda had warned you that James probably wouldn’t be awake at a normal hour, but knowing Tony Stark, he’ll be calling to ask about the painting by noon. Not wanting to tell your boss that you hadn’t even tried yet when his inevitable phone call happens, you decide to take your chances showing up at 10:30. You pass an attractive man with blonde hair and blue eyes in the hall. He gives you a small smile and you can’t help but wish that you were here to see him - whoever he is - instead of James.

When you reach his apartment, you knock on the door only to be met with no response. You knock once more, harder this time, causing the door to fall open a little. It feels a little intrusive, but the door was unlocked and opened on its own. There’s nothing stopping you from pushing it open just enough to step inside, so you do. Besides, with the way his lifestyle is often reported, you wouldn’t be surprised if you discovered him overdosed in the bathroom or murdered by a vengeful lover in the bedroom. You’re doing a civil service by walking into the apartment.

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Sleep Sound 7

Synopsis: Pharah and Mercy have trouble sleeping. A series of chance encounters prove that the solution might be each other.

Pairing: Rocket Angel (Fareeha “Pharah” Amari/Angela “Mercy” Ziegler)

The harried businessman in the seat next to Angela muttered a gruff apology when his knee knocked against hers as he tried to settle into the cramped seat. Angela offered a thin-lipped smile, returning her attention to the message from Fareeha.

See you in a few hours, Angela. Have a safe flight.

Thank you, Schatz, she responded. Her thumbs paused over the keyboard. She worried at her lip, then typed. I’m excited to see you :)

As am I. And everyone else, as well.

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The Joker x Reader - “See No Evil”

The Joker stole 10 glass vials containing an experimental new substance from The Wayne Industry Laboratories. J was moving the ampules into a new case when one was accidentally dropped and now he can’t see. The doctor said it’s a temporary side effect and it shouldn’t last more than a couple of weeks. You are so taking advantage of the situation even if you’ll pay for it later.

You steal a lot of kisses.

The Joker gets out of the shower with his eyes closed, leaning over to reach the towel.

“Muah,” you peck his lips and back out before he snatches you.

“Stop it, Kitten! It’s really annoying when I can’t see and you just…”

“Muah,” you kiss him again, not intimidated by his complaints.

“Are you serious?! Cut it out!” J steps out dripping wet and you yank the towel from his hand. “Give it back, Y/N! I’m getting mad and I…”

“Muah!” you make him shut up, kissing those soft lips again.

“This is outrageous! I’m the Joker and you just can’t…”

“Muah!”

“Dammit, woman, this is stupid!” he takes a few hesitant steps, careful not to bump into anything. He hears you snickering and he knows you’re close. “Give me back my towel or I’ll shoot you, I swear!” J protests, irked.

“Good luck with that; I stashed everything away, you’ll never find your weapons. Hehehehe!” you giggle when he almost touches you but… you elude him.

“Come here, Kitten. NOW! I mean it! If you don’t…”

“Muah!” you steal another kiss and this time you give up, letting him catch you because you feel sorry for him: for once The King of Gotham is pretty helpless.

You start drying his hair with the towel, while he purrs, irritated at your behavior and enjoying being spoiled in the same time. You’re getting groped and pinched as revenge for the repeated offenses against The Clown Prince of Crime. Can’t whine about it since you are the first to admit you deserve it.

“There, done,” you conclude, guiding him towards the bedroom so he can put some clothes on. “What do you wanna wear today?” you ask, leaving him by the bed so you can grab the clothes from the closet.

“My Armani silver suit,” J replies, messing around with his green hair. “You’d better not trick me, I’ll know!” he threatens and you don’t care.

“Sure, whatever you say,” you snort and hear him huff.

“I would! So that better be what I asked for,” he points his finger towards you but he has the wrong direction…Poor Mister J.

“To your left baby,” you give him a hint and now he points in the right direction. The Joker opens his eyes, trying to focus his gaze on something but there is only darkness so he gives up and closes his eyes again.

“Pumpkin, hurry up,” he growls, impatient. A few days passed and he’s till blind as a bat. Yes, this is a pun but can’t share with him; probably would not appreciate it too much for the moment being.

You actually pick the dark purple Armani suit to give to him because you like it better than the silver one. Same fabric and cut, he won’t know it’s a different color.

“J, can you please open your eyes?” you plead.

“I can’t see so there’s no point,” he grouchily mumbles.

“But I like your blue eyes and I wanna see them. Comeeee onnnn, make me happy.”

The Joker mutters something you can’t understand and does as requested.

“There you are!” you cheerfully smile and go towards the balcony so you can get the blanket from the sofa.

“I’ll have you know, Doll…” J clearly has a speech in mind he wants to clear out. Yet…

“Baby, I’m over here, you’re looking in the wrong direction.”

“Huh?” he puffs, antagonized with the interruption.

“To your right…More…More…There, now you’re facing me.”

You don’t know how come he has no sense of orientation. Can’t he hear your voice?!

“I’ll have you know, Doll…What the hell was I talking about?” he stops and debates.

“I have no idea, but I’m taking you to out spot on the hill so we can enjoy the nice weather.”

“I’m not going, I have stuff to do and…”

“Muah!” you kiss him again to shut him up.
“Dammit, cut it out!” and he doesn’t fight it too much as you haul him away. “I remembered what I wanted to tell you: quit bugging me with dumb things and don’t take advantage of my temporary lack of vision!”
“Of course, baby,” you are fast to agree.

I’m the Joker and…”

“Muah, yes, I know,” you smirk, tired on how stubborn and feisty he is.

“Stop kissing me every 5 seconds for God’s sake!” your boyfriend snaps, tugging on your arm.

“A-ha,” you reply and sound unconvincing.

********************

You brought food and grape soda to the little picnic and now J’s sitting on the blanket, fidgeting with his jacket. He takes it off and continues to fuss:

“When are we going back? We have to go on that heist tonight.”

“You’re not going anywhere, are you kidding me? You’re blind,” you move around so you can put the food together.

“I don’t care, I have to go. You’re coming so you can be my eyes.”

“I’m over here,” you cup his face and turn it towards you since apparently he’s addressing the tree you’re both under. “We have to postpone, it’s too dangerous. We’ll have to wait until your eyesight is back, alright?”

“This sucks!” he determines with such pathos it makes you shrivel. You know he’s frustrated; definitely not used to being like this. “It’s so dull, why am I even here?” The Joker sulks, rubbing his eyes. “I can’t even see. How’s the view?” he lets himself go on his back, staring at the sky he can’t discern.

“The view is…breathtaking,” you announce, hovering over him, not even paying attention to the landscape. He’s so handsome in that suit and green shirt.

“Well, I can’t tell so it sucks for me,” he grumbles some more, having no idea you gaze at him.

“I very much enjoy the scenery,” you reply, amused J has no clue you’re talking about him.

“Well, good for you, Princess and I must…”
“Muah!” you lean over to kiss him since he’s sooo grumpy. But this time he kisses you back without commenting on it. “Isn’t this romantic baby?” you moan in his ear, glad you get to spend time together.

“I wouldn’t know, Doll, I can’t see crap,” J pouts.

“I’ll let you know I look very pretty today. I have a rose in my hair,” you take his hand and let him feel it, aiming to cheer him up. “Say something romantic J ,” you suddenly urge your boyfriend.

“Like what?”

“Say you love me,” you bite on your lip, waiting.

“Is it obvious I’m rolling my eyes? Can’t really tell since I’m blind.”

You kick his knee with yours.

“Yeah, it’s obvious! Say it!” you repeat, pulling on his sleeve.

“Uhhhh…I love you.”

“Woowwww, can you put more soul into it?! You sound more enthusiastic when you order your coffee,” you affirm with a displeased grimace.

“I really love coffee, that’s why. You…Mehh,” the Joker admits, being a complete jerk since he’s a bad mood.

“Good, because I don’t love you either,” you push his hand away from your rose and start reading on your book. “I should leave you here and call the cops. Or just signal Batsy,” you bite on your cheek, flustered.

“Pffttt!” he scoffs, confident you won’t.

“Wanna eat now?” you bitterly ask, bugged by his attitude.

“No. What are you munching on?” he wants to know since he hears the repeating crunching noises.

“Pretzels, you want one?” you offer him the choice. You return to your reading and after a few seconds you realize you still hold the pretzel right in front of his face.

Duh, he can’t see.

“Here,” you feed him and he eats it, but still objects.

“You don’t have to feed me, I’m perfectly capable to…”

“Here’s another one,” you shove it in his mouth so he’ll zip it.

I’m the Joker and…”

Even if you’re mad at him, you steal another kiss, hoping he will shut it down.

“Muah,” and before he can retaliate you resume: “Want me to order you business cards that say I’m the Joker?”

“Stop being sassy, woman, and give me another pretzel!” he grumbles in a low voice, scooting over towards you.

*********************

“Hey, baby, if you can find me you get a bonus tonight!” you playfully giggle, trying to light up the atmosphere. J’s been moping around and didn’t move from the couch since you came back from the picnic.

“What’s the bonus?” he grins, instantly interested.

“To your right J. More…more. That’s it, now you’re looking my way.”

Why is he so hopeless when it comes to this?!

“Oh, you will love it! Find me first and you’ll have the time of your life.”

“I’m not in the mood for games Y/N. Just com’ere.”

“Nope, you’ll have to find me mister Jaayyyy,” you whine in a high pitch tone.

“Kaayyyy, you’ll see what happens to you. I’m the Joker and…”

“I already ordered the business cards for you, I am sure you can use them,” you snicker, teasing him. You know he’ll take revenge but at least he’s out of that accursed apathy.

“Did you really?!” and he gets up, taking  a few steps ahead and stumbles on the coffee table before you can warn him. “Goddammit!” J furiously kicks the table.

“Are you OK?”

“No, I think I twisted my ankle,” he reaches down and you rush to help.

“Jesus, baby, I’m so sor…”
“Got’cha!!” he fastly snatches you, trapping you in his arms.

“Hey, no cheating!” you try to unsuccessfully escape.

“Says who?” J purrs, fighting to unbutton your shirt with one hand and still holding you captive with the other.

“J…J…J !” you stop his fingers and want to laugh.

“S-stupid buttons!” he angrily stutters, trying harder, violently pulling on your shirt with all his strength. You try to keep his hand in place.

“J…J…stop! These buttons are just sewed to the fabric for decoration, they won’t unbutton.”

“Shit, not seeing anything sucks!” The King of Gotham has an outburst of frustration and it makes you miserable. You wish you could help him but there is nothing you can do.

You look into his blue eyes that just can’t focus on yours and whisper:
“Why can’t you see yet?”

“I don’t know Pumpkin, it irritates me,” and you know The Joker means it.

It’s a blessing he can’t notice how worried you are because it shows all over your face; it would make things worse.

“I’m sure your vision will return shortly…yes?” you encourage him while he continues to struggle with your bra now.

“J…J…J! This bra has a front clasp.”

J stomps his foot, not knowing if it’s funny or the opposite.

“This is stupid!” he grumbles, totally fed up with his current situation. I’m the Joker and…”

“Please hold it together until we get the business cards, ok, baby?” you elbow him, hoping his attitude will change.”  He frowns, then smirks and lifts you up in his arms.

“Actually that’s not a bad idea. Tell me where, Doll.”
“Straight, left… more to your left. Stop! Right…straight…couch! You made it back to your bonus spot! Can you find what you need without seeing?”

You get dropped on the couch while J snarls, licking his lips.
“I know exactly where everything is, I don’t need my eyes for that. I made it until now, hm?”

You smile, refusing to answer the question, pulling him on top of you:

“You definitely deserve the bonus, you got mad skills, I’m telling you.”

“Sure do,” he growls, starting to get irked by your comment so he bites your lip as revenge.

“Auch! Heeey, behave!” you sulk, biting him back.

“Told you I know where everything is,” he triumphantly brags as you take off his Batsy t-shirt.

******************

Two more weeks pass and your boyfriend is still blind. You are starting to get really worried, especially since his mood is worsening. You actually feel sorry for both of you. You stay awake most of the nights, going on the balcony to reflect on what should happen next: should you kidnap more doctors and bring them over to one of the hideouts so they can examine J? Should you take over a clinic and transport him to the location for another eye exam?

You really don’t know how to go about it because no matter what you suggest, The Joker replies with: ”No need to; anytime now.” Why?…Who understands his logic? He’s infuriated about it himself but refuses to act.

*Another morning in Paradise

“What do you want to wear today, baby?” you happily ask, scraping the leftovers of your patience in order to maintain a positive atmosphere.

“One of my white shirts and black pants,” The Joker coldly responds.

You decide you’ll give him a purple shirt since he didn’t wear the color in about 2 days and you miss seeing it on him. You take out the hanger.

“I said white, Pumpkin, are you deaf?”

You want to put it back when it hits. You slowly turn around, dropping the shirt.

“You…you can see??!!”

J has that diabolical twinkle in his eyes and sucks on his cheeks, satisfied with himself.

“Yeah, isn’t it obvious?”

Like, you bore him so much with your inquiry.

“Since…since when?!” you keep on repeating words because you are more than baffled.

“Since yesterday morning, jeez, calm down. Why are you so worked up? I started seeing some shapes and it just got better and better.”

You’re speechless.

“And…and you didn’t bother to tell me?!” you whimper, vexed at the revelation.

“It was fun to see you struggle,” and his crazy laugh fills the room.

“Fun?!” you fight to keep the tears in, full of indignation. “Fun?! Do you know I didn’t sleep in 2 weeks, worried sick, trying to find a solution for your problem?!”

“Well, that’s your fault, Princess, not mine.”

You mouth opens and no sounds come out.

“Wha’?” J stretches, indifferent to your rant, starting to walk towards you. “Aren’t you glad I can see? Com’ere!”

“You…you…are the worst boyfriend ever,” you justly conclude, sniffling, sneaking by the wall towards the elevator.

“Thanks, I’m trying.”

“It’s not funny!” you cross your arms on your chest, outraged at the whole situation.

“Good, because I’m serious.”

“You…you’re horrible!”

You really want to be excited and go kiss him or something but your mind says no.

“Pumpkin, where are you going?” The Joker raises his voice.

“I don’t know!” you flare your hands around, upset as you can be, actually telling the truth. You want to be out of there.

“Y/N!!!” J angrily shouts when you press the button for the elevator. You refuse to give him the satisfaction of paying attention to his tantrum. You hear him slam drawers.

“Baby Doll!!!!” he screams even louder and you finally look his way.

J holds one of the vials with the experimental substance he kept hidden after selling the rest.

“Nobody leaves me!!! I tell you when you can leave, got it?!”

You get startled.

“What is that?!”
“You know what it is!!! You’re not leaving me!!!” he pants, enraged you’re not obeying and backs out on the balcony, locking the glass sliding door on his side.

“Hey, what are you doing?” You stump towards the closed door, having a bad feeling.

“You can’t leave!!!” he punches the glass, placing the ampule under his shoe.

“Wha…What are you doing?! Don’t!!! Hey, I’m not leaving, OK?”

“You’re lying, I can always tell when you lie,” The Joker taps on the glass, staring at you.

“I’m not lying, stop it! Open up!” you beg, agitated, trying to kick the door open.

“No,” he replies, surprisingly calm all of the sudden. He steps on the vial, breaking it to pieces and you watch horrified as the thin vapors crawl up his body.

“Close your eyes!!!“ you shout, imploring and he shakes his head in negation. “This is childish, stop it! Close your eyes!!!”

“NO.”

“Why are you doing this? You won’t see for weeks again!” you start bawling, still pounding on the glass.

“Keeping up with my worst boyfriend ever reputation,” he growls with his eyes opened despite your efforts to change his mind. “You’ll have to be my eyes again, you can’t leave.”

“For God’s sake, I was just going for a drive so I could cool down!!!” you keep on crying and he feels his eyes starting to burn. You feel so sorry for yourself having to deal with him blind again.

“Don’t care, you can’t leave me,” he smiles and slowly blinks. Your image is fading bit by bit and after a few more seconds he’s in complete blackness…again. Courtesy of his awesome boyfriend material expertise.

******************

You got the business cards you ordered for him: one side is green, the other one purple. A laughing mouth on the front, I’m the Joker in bold letters inscribed right under. You have to describe the design to him since he can’t see.

“I can’t believe you actually ordered them,” J tilts his head, apparently displeased, holding a few in his hand.

“You can use them; you always like to say you’re The Joker so they will come in handy.”

“You’re so annoying, Y/N.”

“Muah,” you steal a kiss, stretching your optimism on new levels you didn’t think you can reach.

“Cut it out, Kitten, don’t take advantage of the situation!”

“You did it to yourself, baby, sooo…I don’t know what to tell you,” you begin loading guns because you’re bored to the max since you can’t do anything fun for a while. AGAIN. Courtesy of J’s stubbornness.

“You can’t talk to me like this, I’m the Joker and…”

“Told you those business cards will come in handy!” you are fast to interrupt.

“I swear I’m gonna kill you, Doll!” he points out in the wrong direction, what else. He truly is hopeless.

You sigh:

“To your right…More…More…There, now you are pointing my way.”

“I want a bonus,” he grumbles, still pointing.

“A bonus?! For what?!”

“For being the worst boyfriend ever. I think I’ve earned it.”

Wow, who can understand his logic?!

But you abandon your current project and go sit in his lap on the armchair, glaring in his blue eyes that can’t focus on yours. AGAIN. For a few weeks. Courtesy of J’s great ability to take amazingly selfish decisions.
“I should really call the cops or signal Batsy,” you whisper, brushing his green hair with your fingers. “You’re a terrible boyfriend.”

“I am, here’s my business card,” he takes one out of his pocket, placing it in your cleavage after a bit of a struggle.

You silently laugh and kiss his forehead, debating on that bonus. And you decide he should have it.

Courtesy of your awesome girlfriend material skills.

 Also read- MASTERLIST

http://diyunho.tumblr.com/post/153664676321/joker-x-reader-masterlist

cityofaangels  asked:

I'm a sucker for tattoo shop AUs (Deep in the Heart of Me is my favorite fic EVER), and I can imagine Tony being the manager of a famous shop, and accepting stray artists that want to find a job and are poor/homeless/lost (among which Bucky, Clint and Nat), and just giving them a goal, a home and a future and ARG

Thank you for reminding me of the beauty that is tattoo AUs!!!! I can’t believe I forgot about this to be honest, I used to adore them in almost every fandom, but I haven’t thought of them in ages until I got your ask! I’m unfamiliar with the fic you’ve mentioned–I don’t read a lot of Stony–but I think I’ll give it a try! But for now, let’s get back to this AU.

I really like the idea of Tony being this crazy, loveable owner of a tattoo shop who hires very questionable people under ridiculous circumstances because he’s insane like that. I also headcanon that said questionable people are very protective of their smol boss because of it.


“What the fuck do you want from me?” the stranger snarls disturbingly animalistic.

“Uhm.” Tony stares at the knife—a real knife and definitely not one for the kitchen—and scruffles a tiny step backwards. Backs against a wall before he has the chance to bring a little more distance between himself and Stranger With Knife.

Damn those walls and the stupid people that build them.

He’s going to die here, alone, in an abandoned backstreet. Where nobody will find his body until they’ll have to hold the funeral with a closed coffin. If they’ll ever find his body.

There’s probably a life lesson in here, about how you’re not supposed to follow unknown men a head taller than you and double your weight in muscles into an abandoned backstreet for one. But Tony’s attention is too fixated on the knife to care much about unimportant details like that.

For once, he hysterically thinks, Rhodey won’t be able to scold me for my messed up priorities.

“I won’t ask again!” the man hisses dangerously. He’s got shaggy hair that could do with a cut and a wash, and his eyes flicker with the same restlessness that drew Tony to him initially.

And fine, he probably shouldn’t have followed the guy. He can see how this could be considered “creepy” by people less fluent in Tony-speak than Pepper or Rhodey. Natasha will undoubtedly slap him—gently, because she’s secretly a poisonous snake who’s adopted Tony as this weird, bumbling kitten that will not get killed by anyone but her—for this later. You know, if there is a later.

“I was wondering if you want to work for me,” Tony blurts out because he can’t think of anything else to say. Also because it’s true.

“I’m not fuckin’ work for hire!” the man growls. “I don’t do that shit anymore, so either back the fuck off or I’ll make sure you won’t need anything anymore!”

Alright. Tony decidedly isn’t going to ask what the guy’s going on about. Nope. Absolutely not. That would just be too stupid, even for him.

“What are you talking about?” he asks and promptly wants to knock himself out. At least that might improve his chances to not talk himself into an early death. Clint will not be impressed if he misses is 8 o’clock appointment tomorrow and he has to cover for Tony—neither will the customer. Clint isn’t useful for anything before eleven in the morning.

The man’s eyes—they’re a cold blue that would look a lot prettier if they weren’t levelling a glacial glare at Tony right now—narrow even further, the knife itching ever so slightly closer towards Tony, and nope, not a fan of that development at all.

“Look,” Tony decides to try and deescalate the situation, “You don’t have to answer that. Actually, please don’t answer that, because this sounds too much like one of those I’d tell you but then I’d have to kill you thingies and Natty would not be pleased if you did. You know, kill me. Unless you tell her I called her Natty again. For some reason she really doesn’t like that? But what do I know, women are weird,” he muses with a shrug.

“Right, I was trying to make a point. See, you could just wave your knife around and possibly- probably kill me, which would really suck. Cause I’m not a big fan of being dead before my liver gives out on me and you don’t look like you’ve got another jacket, and blood is a bitch to get out.” Not that it would be much of a loss, with the oversized, worn down thing the man’s wearing. It looks like it’s being held together by stubbornness and nothing else.

He might have said that last part out loud as well, if the guy’s twitch is anything to go by. Tony can’t decide whether that’s a good thing or not.

“Or,” he hastily continues, “you could listen to my gracious proposal, accept it with genuine appreciation and enthusiasm and in two years we’ll both laugh about this moment.” He finishes with a bright smile and a happy clap. Screw Natasha and Pepper, he can be reasonable and mature. He’s not the one waving a butcher knife around after all.

Said knife is slowly lowered by the stranger who tilts his head to one side in a show curiosity. He seems—amused, almost. Or maybe that’s Tony’s screwed perception of reality talking. Clint’s mentioned he has a problem at one point, something about seeing a ravaging monster and cooing over it and wanting to pet it. Which is nonsense, Tony doesn’t want to pet anything. Except maybe the guy’s hair, once it’s been properly cleaned. And that’s not his fault, it looks like it could be fluffy.

“I’m listening,” he drawls, almost like he’s humouring Tony. The joke’s on him though, because Tony is used to being humoured.

“Do you know Stark Tower? What a stupid question, of course you do, but just in case you don’t, it’s the best tattoo studio in the entire country, trust me on that, and it happens to also belong to me. You’d look great with a couple of tattoos by the way, really help round off that assassin-gone-rough vibe you’ve got there, and I’d totally do them for free or maybe not free. Pepper says I’m not supposed to give people things all the time, but you wouldn’t tell on me, right?”

“Anyways, I saw this,” Tony lifts the crumbled paper he’s rescued from the garbage at the café he’s first noticed Mr Tall, Dark and Knifey—and hadn’t that led to a fun conversation with the waitress—and waves it around as if to stress his point, “and you’ve got some real talent with the abstract design there, because this is amazing and I’d want it as a tattoo, wich says something, my taste is fantastic. Also I’m missing a designer because that asshole Wade keeps running off to do one thing or another and I’m not allowed to hire Peter until he’s legal.”

The guy stares at him in bemusement while Tony tries to catch his breath. Admittedly not an uncommon reaction.

“You’re offering me a job?” he asks after a moment in disbelief—and damn, this guy is catching on to Tony-speak real quick, he’s the right choice all right.

“Yup,” Tony nods. He’s thought he’s been fairly obvious.

“You’ve been following me for two subway stations, three bus stops and a couple of dozen street corners to offer me a job because you saw something I’d scribbled down at a café,” the man repeats incredulous.

Tony shrugs. “I didn’t know how to talk to you. Clint says I come on too strong usually.”

“And you thought stalking me would make me feel more at ease?”

“Well, no.” Tony frowns. “Maybe? I wasn’t—but doesn’t prolonged exposure get you used to someone?”

“Prolonged- never mind,” the guy shakes his head. “You’re crazy.”

A pause, then, “I don’t need a job.”

Tony scoffs. “Have you looked at yourself lately?” he asks, mulls over his words for a moment when the man tenses. “Alright, that might have come across as offensive but seriously. I don’t care if you need a job or not, it’s yours if you want it. Just show up sometime next week and tell Natty I hired you and if Clint is there please throw your knife at him, he’s an ass and screams like a banshee.” Tony searches his pockets for a moment before he finds one of his, admittedly worse for wear, business cards and offers it to Mr Death By Blade.

“You’re crazy,” the man states again, but he takes the card.

“Get used to it,” Tony smiles is sunniest smile because take that Clint, he can hire new staff without getting anyone killed.

*

“Have you ever even held a tattoo gun in your life? It’s not a real gun, for fuck’s sake! Tony!” Clint is heard screaming in exasperation through the studio a couple of days later. “What the fuck where you thinking when you hired Bucky?!”

Tony doesn’t look up from where he’s carefully drawing the worlds’ prettiest butterfly onto a young woman’s shoulder when he yells back, “Who the hell is Bucky?!”

*

[Bonus: “You’re taking all this surprisingly well,” Bucky comments at one point.

Clint shrugs. Takes a look at one of the designs over the newbie’s shoulder.

“Tony’s as fucked in the head as they come, but he’s a freaking genius at finding the best. If he’s hired you than that’s what you are. He wouldn’t settle for anything less.”

A moment of thoughtful silence follows, before.

“In three weeks, I’m gonna tell you how he hired Tasha.”

“Why in three weeks?”

“Studio rule. If you’ve made it three weeks without killing anyone, you’re part of the team.”

“Inside the studio or in general?”

“…you’re gonna fit right in.”]



I think I’m having way too much fun with this…

Lostcauses Fic: Train

This stupid stupid fluff is for @zedsdead1001, @erwinsalive and all the other dear Eruris who got shitty anons this week.  (Seriously, what is wrong with some people?) Hope this makes you smile. 


Levi hates trains.  To be fair, Levi hates all forms of public transport, but he reserves a particular loathing for trains.  They’re dirty, noisy, smelly and worse, filled with people.  People who, heaven forbid, might attempt to speak to Levi, engage him in conversation. Levi’s worst nightmare is being stuck on a train with some friendly fuck who wants to pass the time making small talk. Admittedly it’s not a problem he has to deal with too often, his general fuck off demeanour deters all but the most aggressively friendly and hopelessly inebriated.  But that doesn’t stop Levi from hating trains.

Unfortunately the pittance Levi earns doesn’t afford him the luxury of owning a car and sometimes, when the distance is too great or the weather too foul, necessity dictates that he must smother his loathing of strangers and take the train.  Today is one of those days. And fuck has it been one of those days. It’s been long and trying and Levi has had to deal with a whole succession of idiots who seemed determined to be as obtuse and obstructive as possible. All he wants to do is get home so he can close the door of his flat and shut out the rest of humanity. 

The train is busy when Levi boards, crammed with stressed and dishevelled commuters. Levi scowls and wrinkling his nose in distaste. Miraculously he manages to find an empty double row.  He collapses into the seat by the window, saying a silent prayer of thanks to any deity that happens to be listening, dumps his bag on the seat beside him and hitches his most hostile glare into place.   Several passengers glance at the empty seat beside Levi as they board the train, but one scowl is enough to send them scuttling further down the carriage.   

It’s only once all the passengers are seated and the train pulls out of the station that Levi exhales a silent sigh of relief and his expression softens into his usual bad tempered scowl.   

His relief is short lived.  They’re barely ten minutes out of the station when a shadow falls across the carriage by Levi’s seat.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

i saw a post about how when youre living in abusive situations you should keep a backpack full of necessities and soothing things so that if you need to leave bc ur in danger or upset youre prepared!! do you have any suggestions for putting that together if this makes sense?

sure, you can check this post (link), this tag, and here’s a list of some important things to bring (not everything will apply to everyone);

There are a few approaches to this. In my opinion, it’s a good idea to have a bag packed with everything you need ready to go and to store it somewhere accessible; if there’s a shed outside for example, that’s often easier to get to in an emergency. If you use a backpack or handbag every day, you can also put a lot of these things in it and make a point to return them after you use them, so it’s ready to go if and when you need to make a quit escape, and this can also help you avoid suspicion from your abuser/s. 

This list is huge because I’m trying to make sure I don’t leave off anything that may be important, but you likely won’t need everything here. Needs vary from person to person.

Money: Cash is ideal, and hold onto as much as you can. If you can open a secret bank account and move some money into it, that can help too especially if your abuser has access to your usual account. If you open another account with your current bank, the process is often easier and some banks have a system where they can link your accounts which makes it easier to transfer money between them (and the transfers are often instant). You can also keep gift cards for grocery stores (if you want to store food stamp vouchers, look into how long you can hold them before they expire, I’m outside the US so I can’t advise). 

Mobile phone: ideally, a fully charged phone (and pack the charger too) on an active plan in your own name or with credit on it, but even a phone without money on it can be used to call emergency services. If money permits, you can also pack a phone, SIM card, and recharge voucher, though both SIM cards and recharge vouchers do expire. Familiarise yourself with how to set up the SIM or set it up beforehand (but again, some expire after 30 days so how you approach that will depend). You may also want to find out whether your country publishes numbers in their directory - sometimes you can request that your number be kept silent.  

Keys: even if you’re not planning on returning. Whatever you usually take when you leave the house (e.g. wallet, keys and phone) should come with you. Getting copies of your keys to keep in your bag is a good idea. 

Contacts: support services for survivors of abuse often have fold-out papers that look like business cards and have phone numbers of support agencies you can call in a crisis. It’s also a good idea to have hard copies of the phone numbers of friends, family, caseworkers etc in case you can’t access your phone for any reason. 

Documents: ID documents (such as your birth certificate, citizenship papers, passport, drivers license, social security cards, proof of age card etc), bank and credit cards, medical insurance proof/medicare cards, restraining orders, adoption papers, custody arrangement papers, rental agreements, and copies of any statements made to police. It’s also a good idea to get copies; you can get verified true copies by getting a Justice of the Peace to sign them, and scanning or photographing your paperwork is a good idea. You can also do this with ID cards; photocopy front and back and get these witnessed by a JoP. 

Clothes: This depends on season and weather but always bring changes of undergarments including socks, and wear closed shoes. Focus on utility rather than fashion when you pack, and try to bring something for all weather in your area. Layering to stay warm is a good approach as you can add or remove layers as the weather requires.

Weather gear: raincoat, umbrella, sleeping bag, sun hat, sunscreen, insect repellant, sunglasses, thermal undergarments, a thick jumper/jacket and the like. 

Miscellaneous: A lighter, torch, batteries, a notebook or paper and pen, and any other tools you tend to use.

Hygeine and personal care: Medications and prescriptions, toothbrush and paste, menstrual pads or tampons, baby wipes/wet wipes (even if you don’t usually use them, they’re really handy), tissues, soap, banaids and antiseptic (or a small first aid kit if possible) and anything else you use regularly. 

Keepsakes: anything you don’t want to lose that you can carry, so things like jewelery (which can also potentially be sold or borrowed against), small electronics like tablets, diaries, photographs, mementos, etc. Things like stimtoys are a good idea too, and books if you like to read. 

Items for kids: a pacifier, nappies, wet wipes, clean bottles, onesies, blankets, toys, teething gel, any papers about their custody/guardianship and birth certificates.  

Bedding: A small pillow such as a travel pillow or an inflatable one, and a sleeping bag can be helpful (even with accommodation, sometimes the beds provided are less than stellar). 

If you need to pack light: focus on ‘wallet, keys phone’, medication and hygeine, and try to bring a couple changes of undergarments and socks. Anything you’d take for a night away from home should come with you. 

Other advice: Change your digital passwords, clear your internet history and cache, and delete anything your abuser/s could use against you. If you feel comfortable, tell a neighbour what’s going on and make a plan that you can go to them for help if needed. Look into the various safety apps available and try some out with a friend. Scope out your local area and find any phone booths, stores open 24/7, police stations (and other emergency services buildings), and anywhere you could go to for help in a crisis. 

Hopefully I’ve covered everything but feel free to add!

[Femslash February]: Asleep

lol that it’s only day 2 and im already late with this >.>


Day 2: Asleep (Chlonette)

Words: 2133

Link to Archive of Our Own: [AO3]

[Previous: Snow] [Next: Rescue]


The first time Chloe stayed after school to study in the library, she found Marinette sleeping over her books at a study table near the windows. 

Lycée turned out to be a lot harder than Chloe had thought, and trying to keep up with all of her homework without getting frustrated and forgoing it completely was almost impossible. It led to her bringing in half-finished homework assignments or not bringing in any assignments at all since it happened that Sabrina wasn’t in any of her classes this year. Her teachers packed her up with review sheets and extra homework every single day, and she had to use the hour study sessions at the end of every day to finish up all her work before she went home. It was absolutely deplorable stuff, but even her father was putting his foot down about it, which meant she really had no choice this time around. 

She was dragging her feet to the library and looking for a seat when she found Marinette at a study table all by herself. 

Chloe raised a brow. She didn’t really see Marinette much anymore. They were on completely different bac tracks and they were in completely different classes for any subjects they did share. She did occasionally see Marinette in the halls as they walked to their respective classes, but putting in the energy to mess with her was a lot harder now. It wasn’t the same now that they barely saw each other. 

But, apparently Marinette also stayed for the study blocks after school. And apparently she wasn’t faring too well. 

Chloe put her books on a chair two down from where Marinette was sitting. She was passed out on top of her tablet, and her right hand was still clutching the pen she was using to mark up the book they must have been reading for her French Literature class. Chloe reached over to check the page they were on and realized that Marinette was almost as far behind in the book as Chloe was. 

Huh. And she always thought that Marinette was a studious little thing. 

If Marinette was here, it was probably because she needed to be, and Chloe had far too much studying to get done to even bother with being petty. She poked Marinette in the forehead until she jerked up in her chair and rubbed at the cheek that was pressed against her tablet. She turned her head and groggily blinked up at Chloe. “What are you doing here?”

“Same as you probably,” Chloe replied. She shoved Marinette’s book closer to her. “Come on. I don’t need your snoring distracting me.” 

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‘Slow Hands’ plays in the background.

Someone: Oh, I like this song!

Me (whips around): Of course you do! This is a hit song, my friend. It’s the song of the summer. This is my son’s song.

Someone: Your son?

Me (takes out a photo from my purse of One Direction circa 2011): Yes, I have raised him and his brothers. Look at how cute they are! Babies. (sighs wistfully) 

Someone: Uh, okay…

Me: My tallest son has his album coming out tomorrow. You can preorder it! Or maybe you’d like the white vinyl copy? Here let me give you the link to his website. (starts rummaging in my purse and hands them a business card)

Someone: Did you have pink business cards printed up for Harry Styles?

Me: Yes. Now, let me tell you about my smol son and his friend Steve! Give me your itunes email and I’ll gift you a copy of my son’s banger of a song.

Someone (backing away): That’s okay, I’m sure I can find it on my own…

Me: WAIT! I haven’t told you about my son, Liam! He’s very gifted! I haven’t heard a whole song yet, but I already love it! (starts singing “yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah”) These are the only lyrics I know so far. Would you like to see him dance a bit? I’ve got it right here on my phone…

This drabble is inspired by @jaerie ‘s manager thinking the pictures she was sharing of Harry, Gemma, and Anne were of her family.

Excuse Me

Originally posted by xmadxmariax

Request: Could you maybe done one where your a fan of supernatural and you got to a con and meet Jensen and like he really likes you and he’s like trying to find out who you are and idk that’s all I got…

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 1,400ish

Warnings: none

A/N: Fluffy flirty Jensen…


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Styles & Co - Part 6


Authors note:
This isn’t as exciting as the last chapter, but my ideas are all over the place and I can’t piece them together. Up coming chapters will have a little more spice to them, hopefully. Enjoy, and thank you for reading!! Xx



I leisurely wake up, feeling the bed cool and empty, the unexpected noise downstairs making my heart race.

“Harry?” I summon, carefully getting out of bed, grabbing Harry’s business button up from the floor, sliding it up my arms to keep me covered.

At least I managed to put on a bra and underwear after our crazed, dizzy, intimacy.

“Damnit!” I hear Harry curse from downstairs and I carefully make my way to the staircase, walking down them as my eyes adjust to the lighting, “Harry, you okay?” I call after, making an effort to find where he is and what the hell he is doing at an ungodly hour.

“Fucking, fine.” He grumbles from the kitchen with a temper.

I walk in and see him at the fridge, “What’s wrong?” I rub the sleep from my eyes, adjusting my eyes to the lighting of the kitchen.

“You had to get a fucking tree and stick it in the bloody way.” He broodily mumbles, “I come down to get a drink and I stumble into a fucking tree.” He ill-fatedly chews one’s words, and I can’t help but pay attention to the low cut sweatpants that are exposing his ‘V’ line and teasing me with how low they’re hanging.

“Harry, please calm down,” I whisper with a sigh, knowing he’s just exhausted and cranky.

He lets out a heavy sigh before he turns to face me, “come here.” He instructs with authority. I can’t help but bite my lip and walk closer to him. “I’m not going to bite you, come closer.” He chuckles, his voice not as raucous.

I step closer, unsure of what he’s going to do. He looks down at me before pulling me in for a kiss. A very unexpected kiss. “I’m sorry, I’m just—” I gently cut him off,

“Grouchy? Sleep deprived? A moody jackass?” I smile at him, admiring his darling eyes that are shining more of a soft blue than a green or grey.

He rolls his eyes, “I was going to say exhausted,” his hands pull me closer formerly gently pressing to my arms that stay across my body, stopping the unbutton shirt from exposing my body. “But, I guess a grouchy—ass, is close enough.” He smirks with a cocking grin.

“Whatever you’re thinking. No.” I instantly shake my head, conscious of the appearance of those glistening eyes, “Baby, I can’t sleep.” He pouts his lips, gently moving my arms, releasing my grip on the shirt to expose the undergarments under it.

“That’s too bad, Styles.” I speak in a low voice, giving him a tender kiss on his pouty lips, “you’ll have to do a lot more than that, my dear.” I wink, observing as he bites his lip with great devotion.

His smouldering eyes look with a fixed stare into mine. it takes everything in me not to give in.

What fun would it be if he didn’t have to work for it? Foreplay and teasing is something I cherish, in particularly when he can’t withstand my inclinations.

“Making me work for you, again?” He tilts his head to the side, his hand effeminately pressing to my exposed skin.

I grin, giving him a nod, “always. But, I have to be awake again in two hours so I’m going back to sleep, you should do the same.” I inform him, observing as his eyes roll and he again begins to pucker those lips.

That pout can make my heart melt in his hands with ease. “Harry.” I heave a sigh, my arms wrapping around his neck, “We could just stay awake.” He presents as an alternative mischievously, placing a seal of love to my lips, “Of course if you want to.” He mumbles against my lip, biting my lip mildly before pulling away, beginning to entice me all over again. Damn his desirability.

“Harry.” I sigh, “I’m tired and so are you. We have work.” I mildly press, and he nods.

We’ve already had sexual relations once, and that was enough to satisfy me and wear me out. Another round of shaky, wet thighs and dizzy sensations wasn’t what I was looking for when waking back up.

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Donald Pierce / Logan Imagine

Words: 3, 892

Warnings: Experimentation, kidnapping.

Tags: @your-brieflycrazydonut

___________________________________________________________

You were sitting at the kitchen table, slowly sipping at a bowl of soup, watching as Caliban ironed the pile of clothes that lay stacked on the couch. He glanced up at you.
“What’s on your mind?”
Putting your spoon down, you sighed heavily. “Just a headache… Again…”
“Grab the Ibuprofen. Drawer to your right.”
Twisting in your seat, you reached over, and popped two pills into your mouth. Leaning over, you drowned them with a sip of water.
You heard Charles suddenly blurt out mixed words from the empty tank Logan kept he in. Agonized memories attempting to resurface through his gibberish. You swallowed, taking a deep breath as you tried not to think about him. What he used to be, what he was now… The Westchester incident…
Caliban then the iron down, and looked over his shoulder. You straightened your back, pursing your lips slightly, watching him as he looked out the window. “Caliban?”
“Logan’s back-Something’s wrong-” His voice trailed off, and you barely heard the last couple of words.
“Wasn’t he supposed be gone for a few days?” That’s what you had heard, anyway. 

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To Help #7

YES! FINALLY! We’re here! We’re up to V which means that this is the end of this series. My many thanks to everyone who’s stayed with me for this long, stayed patient and encouraged me with your kind words and your insights on my work. Hopefully I’ll see you all for the next one

Come on sugar cookie V, it’s your turn to help MC.

As per usual this fic will include

1)    Profanity

2)    In case you haven’t played the secret endings this is kinda spoilery, so please just be warned.

3)    WELCOME TO MY (baby) MONSTER FIC, just 13.5K this time arounds

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