take a beating

anonymous asked:

7 in universe Ninjashipparty

‘I almost lost you’

The signs are followed by an uncharacteristic hug, and Danny can feel hands gripping the back of his suit. He’s shaking, so is Ninja Brian.

“I’m… I’m so fucking sorry.” Danny wraps his arms around Ninja Brian, still in shock.

They’d been fighting some super monster, no big deal. But Danny had gotten distracted. He’d managed to get himself flung across the city, crashing into a building. He was immortal, but like a lobster. He could take a beating, but he could be killed.

He’d live forever if he wasn’t killed. But he’d almost died, breaking a few bones and bleeding a lot. Brian had finished off the super monster and was by Danny’s side faster than he’d thought possible.

Brian’s face is pressed into Danny’s neck, his breathing too quick. He thought he’d lost Danny. The one person he’d ever loved or trusted. He felt Danny’s large hand on the back of his head, reassuring him.

Tears were in both their eyes, on their knees in the rough rubble. But that didn’t matter. It didn’t matter where they were.

They were both alive, they were both going to be okay. That’s what Brian kept telling himself as he carried Danny home. That’s what Brian kept telling himself as he helped Danny undress and cleaned his wounds.

That’s what Brian finally believed when he had Danny wrapped in his arms in bed, Danny quietly rambling on about something and Brian just falling in love more. Because they were both safe and okay.

tumblr drinking game every time i get an abusive anon take a shot except i’m trying to stay sober so instead of taking a shot violently beat ur meat until it’s raw 

Just little anxiety things

(cw: intrusive thoughts, death, animal death, gore, violence)

So I just had a friend ask “what’s the worst that could happen, I die?” and immediately, without taking even half a beat to think about it my response was “no, you pass out and cause a major accident that kills lots of people, causes a tanker full of chlorine gas to overturn which releases gas and kills even more people, AND you die.”

A couple weeks ago I noted in passing to my husband that we should block off the space under our bed because if the house caught fire our dog would hide under the bed, we wouldn’t be able to reach her, and we’d have to listen to her die and I would probably die trying to get her out from under the bed. I think he almost puked. Like this didn’t come up as part of a conversation about home safety or emergency plans or anything, I was just getting dressed and it was a very oh-by-the-way kind of thing. I said it because I was thinking about it, it crossed my mind as I sat down on the bed to tie my shoes. He was *horrified* and it confused the hell out of me because isn’t this something that happens to everyone? That you see the possibility of something awful happening and it’s just a passing part of your day?

A couple of years ago we had a pretty big issue because my mental health stuff was clashing with the way he operates. Both of us have a lot of difficulty keeping track of the time, but it’s harder for him - we both do the hyperfocus “where did the sun go oh shit its been nine hours that I was working on this” thing so I get it but he does it *WAY* harder than me. He’ll call me at 1am and ask where I am and I go “oh shit, time to drive home from this parking lot I’ve been reading in for three hours” and I’ll head home. I’ll call him and ask him when he’s coming home and he’ll say “in an hour” and three hours later (because I’ve given him some leeway because we’re both so bad at tracking time) I’ll call and he’ll say “oh, fuck, I’m sorry, I forgot, I’ll be home in an hour” and again three hours later I’ll call and he’ll say “I’m just packing up now, be home soon, twenty minutes,” and an hour later he’ll come home to me in a full meltdown, crying, rocking, having trouble verbalizing and forming sentences, because while he’s been working for 7 hours I’ve spent 4 hours and 40 minutes convinced that he’s dead but talking myself out of calling him again because I don’t want to be clingy or controlling, so it’s just a rolling cycle in my head of how the car accident or industrial explosion killed him, what my relationship with my mother-in-law will look like now that we don’t have him as a buffer, how sad the dog is going to be because she loves him best, whether or not I’ll kill myself because I’m too dependent on him or if I’d try to move on. Like he’s just happy and working on a thing and I’m screaming at myself for being so damn reactive and building up into this cycle and hating myself because I know nothing is wrong but I can’t click out of thinking that *everything* is wrong and then he gets home from working on the thing and finds this big puddle of emotions and self loathing that isn’t fair to him to have to clean up. (That has largely gotten better, by the way! Much less likely to happen since I’ve gotten back into therapy.)

But I regularly forget that this sort of reaction to “what’s the worst that could happen” isn’t normal. It pops out and surprises people and then they get Very Worried if this is what the inside of my head sounds like.

It’s also why I detach from a lot of things, which is something that I think other people frequently forget (or don’t know) about me. There are a lot of things I can’t engage with politically because it starts the spiral, there are people I can’t be around and activities I can’t participate in. And that’s okay! I’m working on it!

But it’s a *huge* part of why I’m constantly exhausted. It’s a *huge* part of why I start so many projects and read so many books and listen to so much music and do so much stuff because I have to drown out that background noise.

And because I just got the reminder that “aaaaaaaa, everyone’s going to die!” isn’t the normal, immediate response to a casual joke I figured it was a good time to put a reminder out there that mental illnesses are *also* physical illnesses and have physical effects.

Anyway, have a good weekend and hug your pets.

he lost the game but he won something better (❁´▽`❁)

happy birthday @kisecchinosedai!!!!!! i hope you have a wonderful day filled with lots of happiness and loveeee ♥ ♥ ♥

demigods not understanding pop culture references because they spend their summers in the information void that is chb is extremely important

random internet person: “I’m just not that into Skip Beat anymore”

me:

So Eliza beat boxing for Phillip is just the best thing ever.
It is the ONLY TIME she does any rap type thing. It is so out of character for Eliza that is soooo not her thing. But she does it for Philip because it makes him feel special and cool and gives him the parent/child connection with her.
Hamilton has a whole song saying he will never let him down, that he will be around, that he wants him to be safe and loved and he promises that he will make sure he is…but his promises are kind of really empty a lot of times. It’s a nice sentiment but it’s hamilton being Hamilton. And umm well look what happened.
Eliza has less than a minute of blowing weird mouth sounds but it is something so opposite of her. She is being someone else completely for him for a little while. She will do anything for him.

ALEXANDER DID YOU KNOOOWW!
He knew. He sent Phillip to the duel. He gave him bad advice. Phillip only wanted his father to be proud that he did what he considered to be the right thing.

Eliza starts singing with him. She doesn’t focus on what is happening NOW she reminds him about good times. He wants to make her smile and be happy.

You may not realise it right now, but there’ll be a day when you notice my absence with every breath you take, with every beat your heart completes without me by your side. You’ll look for me in all the places that used to be my favourite, you search for me in the streets we used to walk hand in hand, you gently brush your fingertips over letters I sent you, but I won’t be found, not where you used to find me and not in the words I wrote you. You will miss me, no matter if you will recognise the emptiness in your chest for what it is or if you’ll brush it off as a temporary kind of sadness you can’t explain. You’ll miss me, but sadly it’ll be too late.
—  Sadly, I’ve been gone for too long / n.j.