Apie jazminus

O žinai, kas yra laimė? Čia, kai girtas supiesi ant supynių trečią kartą šį mėnesį ir šį kartą jau nesusipisi kojos! Laimė, kai tavo ranka kvepia jazminais, kaip ta puokštė, kuri pastatyta ant mano darbinio stalo; kai apsupi save žmonėmis, kurie tave myli, o ne žada meilę, galop sukūrę tau pragarą; kai eini gatve paleidęs shuffle playlistą ir užgroja ta žiauriai gera daina; kai vanduo aplink tave ošia taip, kad negirdi šio pasaulio siaubo; kai gauni “Love is” gumą, kuri tau duoda išmintingesnę pamoką nei tavo tėvai; kai parą prasėdėjęs areštinėj sumatchini per “Tinderį” su tokia visai nieko mergina; kai esi girtas ir lengvas kaip debesis; kai nieko nesitiki ir gauni begalę grožio ir dėkingumo mainais; kai žvelgi į dangų ir atrodo, kad esi jam dėkingas; kai užmiegi apsikabinęs pagalvę, bet šypsaisi, nes vakar tai buvo draugužė; kai tu, mano meile, mano gyvenimo groži, mano literatūra ir išprūsime, įnikusi skaitai ir lauki to savo naujojo išrinktojo ir beprotiškai ilgiesi, kai tu, mano Saule, mano spindulėli, tik akimirkai pasirodęs šitam tamsos kupinam horizonte, nervingai juokiesi. 

Aš visada atskirsiu tą nervingą krizenimą. Žinau, kad aš tai juokiuosi pernelyg garsiai ir į mane žvelgia žmonės, bet man nusišikt. O tu, mano savarankiška kate, mano randonplauke ragana, vedi mane iš proto, bet aš paleidžiu tave iš savo periferinio lauko ir atleidęs sau tyliai nusišypsau. 

Meet Tai, aka the accidental cat. We’re catsitting for him because he was driving the leasing office nuts getting in their way and wanting attention. So he’s staying with us for now and we all already adore him. He’s a lot like Oliver (who has yet to meet him) so obviously I never stood a chance.

His specialty include making biscuits and loveblinking any time I so much as glance at him.

Mus visą gyvenimą persekioja paslaptinga baimė kažko, ir mes visą gyvenimą, rašydami ar kalbėdami, tos neaiškios baimės diktuojami, nuolaidžiaujame tam kažkam, – taip, kad viskas iš mūsų rankų ir lūpų išeina nepilna, nudailinta, sušvelninta, redukuota.
  • Eurovision: *naming the countries*
  • Eurovision: LATVIA!!
  • Me: FUCk yeah!!! BRoTHERs MADE IT!!! WOOO!! You go guYYYSs!! WOOO!
  • Eurovision: only 11 countries left and 2 tickets to the finals!
  • Me: if there's no Lithuania, I swera to god...
  • Eurovison: the 9th country IIiiiisSS.....
  • Me: ....
  • Eurovision: ....
  • Me: ....
  • Eurovision: ...LITHUANIA!!
  • Me: ... FUCK YEAH! TaiP! TAIp iR MANIAU!! yaaAAASSsssSsS!! BALTIC BROS ARE IN THE FINAL!! YAaaaaaAAAAAAaASSssssSs!!! *throws a party*

anonymous asked:

Dear stirringwind, can you please talk a little more in depth about Chinese imperialism or recommend a reading list? I'm a Chinese American living in China, and as far as my family and teachers are concerned, China is perfect peaceful country who never colonized anyone. It frustrates me how little they want to talk about it.

1. Oh man, this is the same experience I had growing up too. This historical amnesia about China’s very long and old history of imperialism is something I’d attribute to roughly three factors, which I think will be helpful to bear in mind when analysing how Chinese imperialism exists and presents itself: 

  • A splendid example of History Is Written By the Victors™ + the fact that Chinese imperialism was actively enacted by a policy of Sinicization. Aka we tend to accept the “92% Han Chinese” stat without realising it’s…very unusual for any country covering such a large area to be so overwhelmingly made up of only one ethnic group. We don’t question why China dwarfs almost all its neighbours in size. But it is exactly evidence of Chinese expansionism.
  • The bias towards more recent history where China was the victim of foreign conquest and interference. By the Manchus (Qing dynasty), Western powers (Opium Wars) and the Japanese (First Sino-Japanese War + WW2). I think the narrative of the “Century of Humiliation”; the upheaval of the Taiping Rebellion, Xinhai Revolution, Chinese Civil War and the Cultural Revolution further feeds into this sense that our ancestors have been through a lot of shit. Not really a POV that is helpful to seeing oneself as part of an extremely old and enduring imperial entity. 
  • The present-day Chinese government narrative: emphasising its “peaceful rise”, tendency to counterposition itself as supporting “non-interference” (’unlike those meddling Western countries!’), state-controlled media generally downplaying or ignoring shitty things like the treatment of Tibetans and Uighur Muslims (which is basically forced Sinicization). It’s…a bit like how the US doesn’t want to acknowledge that it is in many ways an empire. 

2. Anyway, I think a good thing to remember is that Chinese imperialism is historical and current. In my opinion: the emperors may be long gone, but this old history of imperialism, sense of cultural superiority and being a regional titan are very much instincts still evident in Chinese foreign policy today. Here’s some areas you could read about to learn about Chinese military history, which should really debunk the whole “peaceful country” myth.

  • Admiral Zheng He- the famed mariner- was a Hui Muslim eunuch: it was the norm for Ming dynasty soldiers to castrate the male children of war prisoners and gift them to nobles (which we’d consider de facto slavery today). Zheng He rose to power because he was able to win the confidence of the Chinese prince he was given to serve, and the prince eventually ascended the throne. There’s the Miao Rebellions, where various non-Han ethnic groups rebelled and the Ming dynasty crushed it with overwhelming force. Many Miao boys were castrated and thousands of people were slaughtered. 
  • In the present- I think the treatment of Tibet and East Turkestan/Xinjiang province amounts to forced assimilation. Things like banning the Uighur Muslims from celebrating Ramadan, how the government encourages large scale Han Chinese migration to Tibet and Xinjiang mirrors the old ways the emperors consolidated their hold on Southern China. During the Cold War, the PRC, like the US and Soviet Union, backed various factions in order to extend its influence- in Korea, Vietnam and Cambodia. Another issue is the South China Sea dispute China has with various other East and SEAsian countries. And one should also be critical of the Chinese MNCs present in the African continent- like Western MNCs they have been exploitative too. 

History is complex, it’s messy. It’s easier to not want to grapple with complicity in imperialism and oppression. But all these things are just as much a part of Chinese history as all the contributions like inventing printing, gunpowder, silk production and paper, the cosmopolitanism of the Tang dynasty or effective centralisation achieved by the First Emperor. I mean, the First Emperor himself is credited with helping to unify China by laying down effective means of centralisation and standardisation in many areas- while at the same time he is criticised for being an oppressive tyrant too, instead of being slavishly praised. Which is how we should be looking at history.