tagging so i can go back and look at this and cry myself to sleep

Melanie Martinez “Cry Baby” Sentence Meme

Cry Baby

“You take things so hard”
“ Your heart’s too big for your body” 
“ You don’t fucking care.” 
“ It’s not you, it’s them.” 
“ You’re one of a kind and no one understands.”
“ Your heart’s too big for your body.”
“I look at you and I see myself.”
“I don’t fucking care.”

Dollhouse

“We’ll be a perfect family.”
“ Everyone thinks that we’re perfect.”
“ Won’t you be a good sister/brother?”
“ I see things that nobody else sees.”
“ No one ever listens.”
“ Places, places, get in your places.”
“ Throw on your dress and put on your doll faces.”
“Smile for the picture.”

Sippy Cup

“Blood still stains when the sheets are washed.”
“Kids are still depressed when you dress them up.”
“ He/She doesn’t think I’m that fucking dumb does he/she?” 
“ He’s/She’s still dead when you’re done with the bottle.”
“If they give you a new pill then you will buy it.”
“ If they say to kill yourself, then you will try it.”
“ All the makeup in the world, won’t make you less insecure.”
“ Sex don’t sleep when the lights are off.”

Carousel 

“ Will I catch up to love?”
“I feel like I’m glued on tight to this carousel.”
“ Oh, come, take my hand.”
“It’s all fun and games ‘til somebody falls in love.”
“Chasing after you is like a fairytale.”
“We’re always this close,”
“Right when I’m near, it’s like you dissapear.”
“ Where’d you go?”
“ Why did you steal my cotton candy heart?”

Alphabet Boy

“ You’ll never catch me cry.”
“ Fuck your degree.”
“ I’m not a little kid now.”
“ Are you smarter than me now?”
 “But you’re not my daddy and I’m not your dolly.”
 “”You think you’re smarter than me”

Soap

“Think I just remembered something.”
“ I’m tired of being careful.”
“ Let me under your skin.”
“ I said too much.”
“ Why do I always spill?”
“ Guess I better wash my mouth out with soap.”
“ God, I wish I never spoke.”
“ Think I got myself in trouble.”
“ I’m sick of all the games I have to play.”

Training Wheels

“ I carry band-aids on me now for when your soft hands hit the jagged ground.”
“ Promise I won’t push you straight to the dirt.”
“ Love everything you do.”
“ you call me fucking dumb for the stupid shit I do.”
“ It’s not like I’m asking to be your wife/husband.”
“ I wanna make you mine, but that’s hard to say.”
“ Is this coming off in a cheesy way?”

Pity Party

“Tell me what to do to make it all feel better.”
 “ Maybe it’s a cruel joke on me.”
“ Just means there’s way more cake for me.”
“ It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.”
“ I wouldn’t have been trapped inside this hell that holds me.”
“ I’ll cry until the candles burn down this place.”
“It feels like I’m dying.”
“ I’ll cry until my pity party’s in flames.”

Tag, You’re It

“I’ll cut you up and make you dinner.”
“ You’ve reached the end, you are the winner”
“ He chased me and he wouldn’t stop.”
“ Can anybody hear me? I’m hidden under ground.”
“Tag, you’re it, tag, tag, you’re it.”
“ I can taste your skin in my teeth.”
“I love it when I hear you breathing.”
“ I hope to God you’re never leaving”
“Can anybody hear me? Am I talking to myself?”
“ Your mother said to pick the very best girl/boy and I am.”

Milk and Cookies

“I’m done with this.”
“ I’m fucking crazy, need my prescription filled.”
“ Do you like my cookies? They’re made just for you.”
“ Ashes, ashes, time to go down.”
“ Do you want me now?”
 “Can’t take it anymore.”
“ Sing you a lullaby where you die at the end.”
“ Never want to see you again.”
“Shit behind the curtain that I’m sick of sugarcoatin’.”

Pacify Her

“Someone told me stay away from things that aren’t yours.”
“ She’s getting on my nerves.”
“ Stop lying with those words.”

Mrs. Potato Head

“Don’t be dramatic, it’s only some plastic.”  
“ No one will love you if you’re unattractive.”
“ Is it true that pain is beauty?”
“ Do you swear you’ll stay forever?”
“ It’s such a waste.”

Mad Hatter

“ This dream, dream is a killer.”
 “ I really hate being safe.”
“ The normals, they make me afraid.”
“ The crazies, they make me feel sane.”
“ I’m nuts, baby, I’m mad.”
“ You think I’m psycho, you think I’m gone”
“ So what if I’m crazy? The best people are.”
“ Where is my prescription?”
“You can be Alice,I’ll be the mad hatter.”
“ That’s probably the reason that we get along.”

Play Date

“ Just me and you and you and me alone.”
“ I don’t want to play no games.”
“ I’m tired of always chasing, chasing after you.”
“ I don’t give a fuck about you anyways.”
“ Whoever said I gave a shit ‘bout you?”
“ I wish I didn’t care all the time.”
“ I never know what you need.”
“ You know I give a fuck about you everyday.”

Teddy Bear

“ Gave you love, put my heart inside you.”
“ I wasn’t scared.”
“ Should I be scared?”
“ How did love become so violent?”
“ Everything was so sweet until you tried to kill me.”
“ I didn’t outgrow you, I just didn’t know you.”
“ I’m fucking scared.”

Cake

“ I feel like I’m just missing something whenever you leave.” 
“ We’ve got all the ingredients except you loving me.”
“ I’m not a piece of cake.”
“ So I’m taking back what’s mine.”
 “ You’re just a piece of meat to me.”

1. frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment.

Did you know that when you
push someone so far off a ledge,
their heart stops beating for minutes at a time
because they’re scared you’re gonna
push them all the way off?

Did you know that when
you decide you’re not going to push them
all the way off that ledge,
they’re not going to want to stay with you
any longer; they’re not going to want to
stick around to see if the next time,
you will push too far?

I push people so far away from me,
arms length isn’t in my vocabulary.
This is bodies of water worth away;
the Pacific Ocean has nothing on me—
I’ll push people so far,
they won’t be able to see my face but
when they finally decide they need to leave,
I will swim the length of the ocean to
pull them back to me.

Did you know that it doesn’t matter
if you swim oceans worth of water
to make it back to the person you don’t want to lose
because you almost killed them when you
teased them, holding them off
that ledge; do you realize that
they aren’t going to want
to stay, no matter how much you wheeze
from the trek to and from where
you left them?

2. A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Touch me on the shoulder and
push my hair behind my ear and
whisper to me that you love me and
tell me I’m beautiful and that you
need me and need me and need me and
I will never stop loving every inch of you

UNTIL

one morning you wake up and you
leave too early or you
forget to say goodbye or
you just exist as you are but
don’t remind me that I’m okay and
I decide that you’ve begun to hate me
and in turn I hate you right back

UNTIL

I remember that I love you and
if you leave me I will never be able to breathe again and
I love you and I love you and I love you and
it feels like you’re ignoring me and
I just want you to love me

UNTIL

I realize I have to leave you before
you leave me; and you, inevitably, will leave me so
I decide you no longer mean a thing.

3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Laugh and I’ll laugh with you,
cry and I’ll cry too.

Say something cute and I will
say it again later when you’re not there and
tell me your favorite color and
it will be my favorite color too.

Not only will it be my favorite color but
I’ll paint it on my apartment walls and
I’ll buy a whole new wardrobe with nothing
but clothes that color and
tell me that you love high heels and
I’ll buy 60 pairs and when you dye your hair,
suddenly I’ll do my hair the same way.

Laugh and I’ll laugh too,
cry and I’ll cry too.

Hate someone and I’ll hate that person with you and
love a celebrity and I’ll love her too and
I’ll paste her posters all over my apartment walls and
I’ll watch all her movies and
listen to all her music and

you’re gonna think we are just
/ so, so alike / when really,

you make a move and I mimick you;
you make a move and I say JINX in my head
as if we moved at the same time and
you’ll owe me a soda even though really
I owe you a personality but
I don’t have the capacity to afford one.

4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging.

When I drive to therapy I am running late
because I am always running late and
I drive my car too close to the side where
the parked cars sleep for the night
and I hit a side mirror with my own and
drive away so fast I drive through a stop sign
right next to a preschool and
at therapy she asks me why I am being
so reckless and impulsive and I say,
“What are you talking about?” because
I can’t understand that my behavior
is at all impulsive
and reckless.

I don’t eat all day because I want control until
night comes and I eat and
I eat and I eat and
I eat
and the toilet bowl calls out to me and
I vomit until the veins in my eyes
streak red lines in their white and
I look like the monster that I feel I am.

5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self- mutilating­ behavior.

In a moment of absolute and utter hopelessness I think to myself,
“If I kill myself she will feel so fucking bad,”
and I swallow bottles of pills because
I think I want to die and I also want
the people who did me wrong to feel
the same ache that I have in my chest because of
what they did to my heart.

I am angry with my friend and she
thinks that I will cope the same as any
normal person and I go home / after our / fight / and /
I take a blade / to the soft flesh of my wrists ///
and slice ////// until the bathtub fills with red
and /// I think to myself,
“that will fucking show her.” ////
(I don’t tell her what I did. I want her
to know but the pain calms the anger;
the blood is enough.)

6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood

I sit in my apartment with Friends
playing on the TV and I laugh along
with the annoying laugh track and then
I drop an empty cup on the carpet and
I scream out with rage as if
the cup was filled with acid and
it burned through the carpet and hard floor
even though the fucking cup
was fucking empty.

7. Chronic feelings of emptiness

Do I even have a heart
beating in my chest?
How can I be alive when
I’m nothing more than
an empty shell?

8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

As a teenager, doctors were desperate
to explain away my emotions;
they would say that I was just
an angry girl and that
sometimes kids are angry
and when I punched holes in the walls
and sliced open my skin out of pure rage
it was okay because I was just
The Angry Girl and
it simply didn’t matter what was causing
that severe emotional response.

9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms.

These are not my hands.

You can’t help me heal
when I don’t
actually exist.

I swear
you can’t see
me when
I’m like this.

Can you see me?
I can’t feel my limbs.

I’m scared. Please,
look at me so I can
know that I exist.

—  THIS IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE PART 6: BPD EDITION (han hyland)
Angst Prompts

*some I’ve made up, others I’ve gathered from my favourite tv shows.

This is for the anon.

This was really fun to make. Feel free to reblog and use them. 

Specially Cry Gate writers. @rileywrites-93 and @spiderling–parker you both make me cry too much.

01. “Oh please give me a break the only reason you aren’t fighting for us is because you’re still in love with her" 

02. “I’m sorry, I still- I love her/him" 

03. “I just want you back." 

04. "Don’t let this be the last time we see each other." 

05. "Are you crying because of me or because of him?" 

06. "I’m just a little bit broken." 

07. "She’s the one I give a rats ass about, not you.”

08. “I’m scared as hell to want you, but here I am, wanting you anyway." 

09. "I love you. I’m in love with you. You’re the love of my life.”

10. “My very feeling is controlled by the look on your face. I can’t breathe without you. I can’t sleep without you.” “That’s not healthy at all." 

11. "I belong to you." 

12. "I watch for you, I wait for you. I exist for you." 

13. "I am not a toy you can play with when you’re bored or lonely or horny!" 

14. "I am not the girl the guy gets at the end of the movie. I am not a fantasy. If you want me. Earn me. " 

15. “You can’t leave me, I am not losing you again." 

16. "You ruined me. I’m ruined." 

17. "I asked you to save me and you said no." 

18. "Whatever happens next, I want to make sure that you know that I loved you." 

19. "Stay away from my future wife!" 

20. “I never meant to hurt you.”

21. “That doesn’t really matter, because in the end, it all hurts just the same.”

22. “Part of me just wants to find the right words to hurt you the same way you hurt me." 

23. we go days without having a meaningful conversation and I used to miss you so much when that happened. But it never seemed like you missed me and I guess because of that I stopped missing you." 

24. "I want us to be together.”

25. "Just wanted to make sure you have everything you need.” “You mean other than you?" 

26. "I still love you, I always will, I just can’t trust you." 

27."I’m afraid that this conversation is going to end with goodbye." 

28. I’m getting really tired of fighting." 

29. "I wanted you to fight for me. I wanted you to say there is no one else you could ever be with. And that you’d rather be alone than without me." 

31. "I never stopped believing in us.”

32. “Why won’t you ever just let me all the way in?" 

33. "I’m not pushing you away, I am holding on for dear life. But I need you to need me back." 

34. "I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke. You don’t get to call me a whore." 

35. "I can’t remember our last kiss." 

36. "why didn’t you try harder? You just left." 

37. "You took a piece of me and I let you." 

38. "I’m always going to love you, but I don’t want to love you. I want to be happy." 

39. "I’m exhausted." 

40. "You called me and a woman answered the phone." 

41. "You didn’t love her! Because you don’t destroy the person that you love.”  

42. “She doesn’t make me sick to my stomach thinking about -another man- touching her with his hands. I would do anything not to be looking at you." 

43. "I’m gonna get her back." 

44. "I’m not your girlfriend, I’m not even your friend." 

45. "How did we end up here?" 

46. "I wanted you to be my forever." 

47 "You shouldn’t come back." 

48. "You messed me up so bad, I don’t even know where to start to fix myself." 

49. "You wrote that for me but she/he thinks it’s for her/him and I’m just so tired of hiding while you live your life in the spotlight with her/him." 

50. "I’m sorry that I fell in love with you." 

51. "I used to think I could count on you for everything. I was so wrong." 

52. "I love you! I do, but I don’t love this situation. This is toxic." 

53. "I don’t want you to be okay with this! I want you back." 

54. “Love is irrelevant to people like us.”

55. “Love is just temporary.”

56. “I’m so sorry for the pain we’ve caused each other.”

What Lovers Do: Part 3

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: You have a friend with benefits relationship with the Winter Soldier himself: Bucky Barnes. You two have gotten the routine down: wake up, train, mission, come home, have sex, then act like nothing happened. It’s worked for you for a while now. But now that Bucky’s starting to see someone seriously, you don’t know what to do with yourself.

Warnings: angst

A/N: I heard “I Hate Myself for Loving You” by Joan Jett on the radio and this helped me write this chapter. 

Part 1 | Part 2

Originally posted by jlstreck


You avoided Bucky for weeks after the incident in the kitchen. Everyone noticed a change in you and no one, but Steve understood. They often questioned him about it, but he said it wasn’t right for him to tell. Bucky pleaded with Steve. Begged on his knees.

“Please, Steve. If she’s hurting, I want to help! Why won’t she let me help?!” 

Keep reading

Taegi, Jikook, Namjin, Yoonmin, Taekook Fics

What Can I Do? Your Eyes Became My HomeQue rant:

oKAY GUYS

There is this absolutley brilliant author who goes by SOFTAGUSTD on AO3 and is @phanadox on tumblr and I felt the tremendous need to reccommend you every single one of her stories.

Settle Down and Let Me Know If You’ll Stay // Taegi, Namjin, Jikook
“I can grant you three, no wait it’s four. Four wishes! Just say the word!”
“What?”
Or the one where Taehyung is a genie who found himself in the company of a drunk with a wicked personality and can’t help but want to make him happy.
(FREAKING AMAZING (although legit all of them are))

You Were Beautiful On A Sleepless Night // Yoonmin, Taekook, Namjin
“So you’ve been eavesdropping on my conversations with my family?”
“Yes, now, listen. About that rash you’ve been talking about, I looked it up and found some medicine.”
“Fuck off!”
Or the one where Yoongi can’t sleep so he goes out into his balcony to smoke and listen to the family upstairs talk. And the Park’s family doesn’t know how to shut their balcony door.

It’s Still Beautiful How You See the World // Jikook, Namjin, Taegi
“Wait, you promised him that if he graduates from high school, you’d date him?”
Or the one where Jungkook confesses to Jimin in middle school. Jimin thinks Jungkook is too young to know what “love” is so he promises to date Jungkook after he graduates from high school and starts college. Now that Jungkook has graduated from high school, Jimin starts to back out of their promise.

Weight of Playing with Fire // Yoonmin, Yoonseok, Vmin
“He’s walking this way, grab my ass!”
“But mine’s coming this way too, grab my hand!”
Or the one where Yoongi and Jimin fake-date to make their unrequited love(s) jealous.

From Here and throughout the Night // Taekook, Yoonmin, Namjin
“We were deceased!”
“I think he means deceived.”
Jungkook leaned into Taehyung, covering the microphone as he whispered into his ear. “I think you mean deceived.”
“Ah, yes!” Taehyung nodded. “We were deceived!”
Or the one where Taehyung’s father runs away from his company, leaving Taehyung in charge. And leaving Jungkook in charge of the company and Taehyung.

I Know It’s Over By Spring // Jikook, Yoonseok, Namjin
The one where Jungkook has been using Jimin as a slave since elementary school. Then one day Jungkook gets into an accident and suffers from memory loss and instead of feeling bad, Jimin decides to take his revenge.

The Last Scene for Our Dream Night // Yoonmin, Taekook, Namjin
“They said they’ll fix it in an hour, which means we’re going to be stuck here for that amount of time. Will that be enough time for you to stop crying or should we tell them to give us another hour?”
Or the one where Yoongi is bad luck, Jimin is good luck, and they’re soulmates.

Days Are Numbered So Move On // Jikook, Namjin Vhope
Jimin is a spy. Jungkook is training to be one. Hoseok trains the agents to have agility. Seokjin just wants to be Employee of the Month. Namjoon is the leader nobody asked for. Taehyung loves the kids books. And Yoongi is in the wrong occupation.
Or the one where Jimin is stuck training the new spies because of his last mission and Jungkook insists on being a nuisance to Jimin.

I Write Songs About Your Stupid Anecdotes // Taegi, Namjin, Jikook
Taehyung keeps singing Spanish songs while Yoongi is trying to tutor his students. Jimin keeps “forgetting” his keys at Jungkook’s apartment. Namjoon won’t forgive Seokjin and Hoseok is the glue of all these six idiots.
Or the ‘listen i know we’ve been best friends for years but i’m trying to tell you that i’m in love with you so will you fucking stop singing spanish songs’ au that no one asked for.
(The first one that I read, that had me hooked! It was freaking amazing, and it inspired some of my writing.)

At 4 O’clock, I’ll Stay // Vmin
“I hate him so much, Yoongi, I’m thinking of saying he has rats in his stupid bar just to get rid of him!”
“Well, what did he do?”
“He said that I was the best soccer player and shouldn’t talk shit about myself!"Or the one where Taehyung goes to Jimin’s bar to talk bad about his latest soccer matches and Jimin waters down his drinks by "accident.”

The Art of Lost Stars // Yoonkook, Vmin
“You were supposed to come five hours ago.”
Jungkook sighed, handing Yoongi a couple bills. “I know, time got away from me.”
“Away from you, my ass. You’re lucky I didn’t walk out on the kid.”“I’m sorry, thank you.”
Yoongi scoffed, looking through the money. “Your kid is upstairs asleep,” he pocketed the money. “She kept asking where he dad was.”
Jungkook licked his lips, wiping his palms on his pants. He never knew why he got so nervous around Yoongi.
Maybe it was the tattoos spread all over his arms, the piercings on his lip and eyebrow, or the fact that Jungkook had the biggest boner in the world.

What Can I Do? Your Eyes Became My Home // Yoonmin
“I don’t care if you’re cupid or the fucking Gingerbread Man, I’m not falling in love with that guy so stop shooting arrows at my ass!”
Or the one where Jimin has the record for most successful Fallings and Yoongi is a centimetre away at ruining that record.

I haven’t tagged the two KNK fanfics but if you’re fans of them PLEASE GO READ THEY’RE AWESOME AS WELL

FICS FOR STEREK’S VALENTINE’S DAY FIC REC

As it’s coming up to Valentine’s day I thought I would put a rec together of all my favourite Valentine’s themed fics!

Hope you enjoy, and remember as always, make sure you check rating, tags and warnings on all fics!


Always (1/1 | 1,066 | Not Rated)

Derek’s in love with Stiles but thinks he’s about to lose him. Stiles was never going to let Derek go in the first place. Fluff ensues.

Sometimes love is an obligation to your grandmother (1/1 | 6,982 | Rated M)

Dearest Derek,

Welcome to your 21st year! As per the wonderful tradition of the house of Hale, you will be attending some of the best places to be single that Beacon Hills has to offer today. First, it’s to the Coffee Shop on Main where you will get two lemon zest chocolate chip muffins. Listen to me very carefully, I’m going to ease you into the way this works. Buy two muffins, but you’re only going to eat one. Find someone cute to give the second one to…

The letter went on, but Derek was staring at it in horror, unable to process how terrible that sounded in just the first paragraph. Today was going to suck.

*

Or: Derek’s grandmother relishes setting her single grandchildren up on Valentine’s Day. Only, less ‘setting up’ and more ‘forcing them to run a singles-only scavenger hunt where the prize is love or at least sex’.

Derek never wins. Derek never WANTS TO win.

Kiss Me Under the Light of a Thousand Stars (1/1 | 5,631 | Not Rated)

“It was a true love spell,” he admits quietly. “It was supposed to help me find my true love. And apparently I suck at magic as much as I suck at dating because I screwed this up too.”

~~~

In which Stiles’ Valentine’s Day love spell goes very wrong.

Or perhaps very right.

Valentine’s strike (2/2 | 6,015 | PG-13)

Stiles hates Valentines Day. It was the bane of his existance. But he’s home for the 'holiday’ and has nothing to do since everyone he knows is busy. Except Derek, Derek is the only one alone as him.

Or

The five times Derek and Stiles date by accident and the one time one of them actually ask.

Thank Jackson for me (1/1 | 3,187 | PG-13)

Derek keeps asking the wrong kind of questions.

Hot for Teacher(’s Aide) (1/1 | 8,050 | PG-13)

“He invited you to his apartment.”

“To do a lesson plan.”

“Yeah and to probably lesson your plan while you’re there,” Scott said, waggling his eyebrows.

“That made no sense, but you still managed to make it sound dirty,” Stiles said. “I’m impressed.”

Keep reading

Starved pt 4

Tag List: @the-doggie-and-his-cuddlefish @fallingineternity @fangirlfiles1 @cup-of-blue  @reaper8439979 @lastfemaletimelord @zoeyheys @lizzysperil @trilight102 @frustratedwaffle @the-diaries-of-a-nerd @vladimeme @prplzorua @anxiousdepressedkid @ alzac-saber @softanon @chaoticgood-anon @321angst @vixenneko @justanotherpurplebutterfly @chemicallyimbalancedromance @hetaisawesome @virgilient @soft-blue-badger @latin-logic @the-sanders-sides  @emovirgil @itmepaigeb @evil-queens-rule @youcancallmeverge @datonerougecookeh @hells-angel-hevens-demon @glaceon-in-a-sweater @here-to-vent @thehomicidalbean @abstractedthinking @watch-me-introvert @alicethemadhatterapprentice  @i-prayed-to-you-cas @cherryblossomrebellion @musicphanpie-b @cochroachkappa-blog @sanative-sanders @you-can-call-me-verge@doctorwhitttaker@getupanddothething

Chapter Notes: I’m so sorry for the delay on this one! As you might imagine, this chapter had a bit riding on it, emotionally speaking, and I wanted to be sure I got it right. Big thanks to @thuriweaver for helping me out and providing a critical sounding board each time I wrote myself into a corner! 

CW: Negative self-talk, self-loathing, anxiety, panic, nightmares, misunderstandings, cursing

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

It was early the next evening before Virgil could bring himself to face the other sides again. 

That night had been easily one of the most miserable of his life. After taking apart the doll and stealthily returning the pilfered articles of clothing, he’d retreated to his room and locked his door, then crawled into his bed. As he’d feared, it felt huge and far too empty, and he found himself shivering, unaccountably cold. He realized he’d gotten used to having the warmth of the heating pad cradled to his chest as he embraced the pillow. 

He briefly considered recommissioning the heating pad by itself, but quickly dismissed the idea. It…hurt, somehow: the thought of using part of the doll only. It was stupid, he knew it was stupid, but he found himself almost mourning the thing, like it’d been a friend or something, and he couldn’t bear to think about trying to create a substitute. 

Besides which, he shouldn’t need one. He should never have needed the doll in the first place. It was that kind of weakness that made the others hate him so much, and if he ever wanted to be someone they could respect (or at least someone they didn’t despise), he needed to stop being so pathetic. 

So he’d huddled up in bed, shivering under the layers of blankets he’d piled on instead, trying not to give in to the fear that was creeping around the edges of his thoughts. 

Keep reading

Back to School Tips

for the ADHD student 

just a list of things that have helped me while struggling at community college:) hopefully these will apply for high school ADHDers too!

- don’t choose classes that you don’t love, unless absolutely necessary. uninteresting classes will kill your motivation so fast guys.

- when scheduling classes, DO NOT sign up for a class before 8am!! or even 9!! you’ll think you can do these things, but you just can’t, Nemo. 

- take it easy on the redbull. energy drinks, sugar, and any other processed foods and/or drugs isn’t the best for concentration or memory or functioning in general.

- speaking of memory, it is very important to get enough sleep, because that is when memories are consolidated. specifically, get enough deep (NREM) sleep; deep sleep is when explicit and factual memories are established, while REM sleep only consolidates procedural and emotional memories. Basically, if you’re gonna skip sleep and do homework, wake up early to study, don’t stay up late.

- and while we’re talking of sleep, keep in mind a couple things: 1) yes, sleep is important but 2) you will undoubtedly not get enough so don’t cry over it and 3) this is when coffee comes in.

- and i don’t mean Starbucks, because that heavenly, fantastic shit is for much richer people. get used to strong, black coffee because it’s cheap and works better and it’s cheap.

- make friends with your professors at the BEGINNING of the term. sometimes all you gotta do is start the conversation and your grade will magically become better.

- always have a healthy snack on hand, like almonds or dried fruit.

- find yourself a sanctuary. THIS MIGHT BE MY MOST IMPORTANT TIP. on campus, things are gonna be overwhelming and hard and tiring, and you’re gonna need something or someplace to return to, where you can study, cry, get shit done, nap, stair into the endless void call Life, etc. I usually find myself a hidden corner or table or couch in each hall to claim as my territory, then camp out in in it between (and sometimes during) classes.

- always have your earbuds.

- find a study partner, not a study group.

- don’t be afraid to ask for help from tudors, peers, professors or Student Disability services. I got SSD accommodations finally after 8 terms and it SAVED MY LIFE. usually, services for students with disabilities can get you extra time on tests, note taking help, and other stuff specific to your school.

- bring a fiddle toy, coloring sheets, chewing gun, or anything else to help you sit through class. and if someone comments on your fidget cube, glare or slap them or stab their eyes out. this is college, bitch. survival of the dog-eat-dog. or something.

- on that note, do whatever you need to get through class. and i don’t mean blackmail your professor. i do mean show up to class in pajamas, or create a crazy wall with tacked-up papers and red string and crossed-out codes, or bring a pot of tea to morning yoga. usually people don’t actually care about what you do or say or look like, so just be.

- yes, color-coding + sticky notes are always a good idea.

- take your notes on paper! we all know that computer note-taking is a gateway to distraction which leads to online impulse buys and obsessive research about probably time travel. or penguin migration habits. or what colors go best with your skin tones. just, write notes in a notebook.

- last tip! have a pre-game playlist. get hyped. energize yourself so you can make through the class, the day, the week, the term, the Life. find what inspires you and don’t forget it. 

Anyways, that’s all. this got a lot longer then i had planned. hope this is helpful to at least one person!! if you have any tips you wanna add, feel free:) good luck this year, my dudes. 

p.s. if you find this post helpful but you don’t have adhd but you wanna reblog anyway, chill. it’s okay. reblog anyway. just everyone be respectful and fucking nice and tag correctly. i really don’t care❤️❤️❤️

to anybody going through the nose job tag considering/prior to getting it done, here’s what you need to know-

  • this is your decision, not anyone else’s. if your family or friends try to make you feel bad for doing it, then that’s their problem, not yours. if you can’t love yourself fully then do whatever you can to get there
  • the surgery’s easy. you can ask for a calming medicine before and they might give you something. even if they don’t, you’ll be knocked out before you can even say it isn’t working and then it’ll be over.
  • you might feel a little queasy after, but they will take care of you and you’ll go home and sleep for hours
  • please please please have someone to watch after you for the first little while, because it’s hard to get your shit together, especially the first day or two
  • within a week or two you should be fine to go back to school/work and you can use a little makeup to cover up the black eyes, but there will be a small red scar under your nose and a little crusted blood/snot
  • clean your scar or anything gross stuff with a wet q-tip and for the love of god please do not poke inside your nose (it’s not dangerous, just stings))
  • it kinda feels like you just hit your nose after, but it’s manageable tbh
  • i got hit w/ a broomstick and was singing in a musical nearly right after mine. you’ll be fine.
  • the constant congestion is the worst part. you’ll have to retrain yourself to breathe after and it gets really annoying- imagine a constant stuff nose but with snot still coming out
  • the snot sucks too, but DO NOT blow your nose for a few weeks after
  • it’s been 6 months after and i still can’t feel the tip of my nose so don’t worry about it
  • taking the packing out feels like pulling a really deep, long booger out of your nose- it’s uncomfortable and kinda gross but doesn’t hurt
  • taking the stitches out stings quite a bit, but it’s not the worst part. there are usually only 4-6 and you’ll want to check after that they got them all
  • do not go to anyone you feel uncomfortable with
  • check reviews on your surgeons
  • please make sure this isn’t an impulse thing- i was bullied for years and years because of my nose and would cry when i looked in a mirror because i hated it. it’s a serious, serious thing
  • people will stay dumb shit after like “but I loved your nose, it was so ethnic!!!” and you just gotta be like w/e. it was your decision and you don’t need to feel shamed for a low self-confidence
  • they may also say that you’re a spoiled, shallow brat, but fuck that. it’s just wrong and if you let that get to you, then send me a message and i will talk you right out of that
  • please invest in some cheap button ups/flannels from goodwill
  • tbh you’ll probably get blood/food all over your shirts
  • get a netflix or some good movies to watch on your computer. i’d bet you probably won’t be leaving your bed
  • it’s going to bruise n swell- ice won’t help anything other than your eyes
  • don’t use nose strips until 3 months after
  • the healing probably won’t be complete until a year or two after, but will look decent within 2 weeks to a month
  • if you need a revision surgery, then oh well. i won’t know for another 6 months, but it’ll be fine.
  • don’t wear glasses for a while unless you can stop them from touching your nose
  • a lot of people won’t even notice anything’s different, but if you’re really scared of that, change your hair right before and people will just notice that
  • i find “deviated nasal septum” to be a good excuse for getting it done
  • you won’t be able to move your top lip for a long time so be ready for sultry selfies
  • you might feel sick or horrible when you first get the cast off because it’ll look puffy and kinda gross, but it gets better. i swear.
  • do not expect a perfect ski slope nose. that’s near impossible. you can only change it so much, so keep your expectations realistic
  • the soreness after isn’t that bad, just a little annoying, but you get medicine
  • don’t read the horror stories- they rarely happen!!! you’re probably going to look 10/10 perfect
  • it’s normal to be nervous, but it is fun!! 
TWO YEAR UPDATE: I have never been happier with myself!! I feel beautiful and my nose healed perfectly! Check pics on my Instagram @emilieacw because I don’t really post on here (not a self promo just wanna show you)
Just Pretend    *NSFW*

Summary: Reader wakes up from a dream about her ex; all hot and bothered.

Bucky Barnes X Reader

Word Count: 1470

Warnings: NSFW; Smut; Masturbation (male and female); Unprotected sex (just use a condom); some angst.

A/N: Okay, so I originally posted this on a side blog that I created (@bbuckmebarnes) but I decided that I will not be running it anymore as I don’t want to end up neglecting one and I focus more on this one anyways. SO. I’m moving the one piece that wasn’t so terrible here! Again, feedback would be great!

Keep reading

The Moon and the Stars

Anonymous said: Can I request Taehyung being your roommate and you’re not aware of his feelings until he comes home drunk 😊😊

Pairing: Taehyung x Reader

Summary: You and Tae are roommates and it’s great. You two get along well and hang out from time to time. One night he comes home from a night of partying, completely wasted, and tells you he’s in love with you. However, given his reputation, that’s not exactly a good thing…

Genre: College/Roommate!auFluff, Angst(ish?)

Word Count: 5,000 (exactly!)

Content: Adorably drunk Tae, some mushy fluff, a little bit of angst, some swearing

A/N: This was supposed to be a drabble but ended up being 5k oops. Partially inspired by Weight Lifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo.

Sneak Peak:

Taehyung took your hand and started walking. At that moment you noticed that the clouds had drifted off, revealing the billions of stars that were hidden behind them.

You looked up at the clear night sky. “Look, Tae.” You said, pulling on his sleeve. You used your free hand to point up at moon, which was bright, and full. “Isn’t she beautiful?”

He didn’t let his eyes follow your finger toward the stars. Instead they remained fixed on you when he replied, “She is.”

Originally posted by aestheticvbts


Keep reading

❧ c.vn | the tag

pairing; seventeen vernon x reader

genre; fluff, soulmate!au 

synopsis; everyone her age had found their significant other; their soulmates. after a long, painful period of waiting, she found hers.

word count; 1862 words

I entered the studio, trudging lifelessly to my usual corner and letting my bag slip off from my shoulder onto the floor, not bothering to switch on the main lights. The sub-lights situated at the front of the studio mirror and the back corners were already turned on, so I left it as that. 

I let out a heavy, tired sigh, plugging my phone into the studio’s speaker, letting it blast my usual tracks as I did my warm-up.

I’m Y/N, 19, from the dance club. I’m from LA, but I moved to Korea because of my parent’s work. I was happy with the change. Life in LA wasn’t exactly smooth. My life was pretty dull, so I put my focus on dance — probably the one thing that makes me feel myself. 

I always came to practice two hours early, just to have the space to myself so I could go through my choreography. 

An hour later, the metal door of the studio clicked open, and I didn’t have to look to know who it is. 

Jun — the club president. Also my best friend. He walked towards the corner where I had left my bag lying, and he put his beside mine. I shot him a weak smile, panting from the hectic choreography I just went through.

“Working hard today too, huh?” he grinned, tossing me a bottle of water as he walked over to the speaker switches, turning it off.

“What else could I do?” I muttered, plonking down onto the floor as I leaned against the mirror. He walked over, sitting beside me with his legs stretched out in front. 

“So… You haven’t-”

“Nope,” I interrupted. Jun sighed.

Jun asked me the same question every week — “Have you found him?”

‘Him’ being my soulmate. 

I didn’t mind the fact that Jun kept this up for the past year. He knew how emotionally frustrated I would be sometimes, due to the fact that I couldn’t find my soulmate, and he was always there to provide the support I desperately needed. I couldn’t thank him enough for that. I was usually cheery enough though, trying to think positive that I would find ‘him’ sooner or later.

Soulmates were a symbol of two parties being, literally, made for each other. These two parties would have this tattoo-looking thing on a certain part of their body — called Tags. Soulmates’ Tags would match in colour and symbol. Everyone had a different Tag, only two parties on the entire surface on earth would have the exact same.

Tags fade as you age. They usually disappear by the time you’re thirty or thirty-five, and that’s pretty much the end of the world for that person. Once your Tag disappears, the possibility of you being able to find your soulmate drops to nearly a zero. And you would have to live a lonely life. Ugh.

Nearly everyone our age in this school have found their soulmates. Those who haven’t found theirs — you could count their number with your fingers. And I happen to be in that group.

Not having your soulmate with you at this age is probably the worst thing ever. Soulmates would naturally have the trait of being able to cheer the opposite party up, and they would match and fit like jigsaw puzzles that are side-by-side.

I eyed Jun’s crimson Tag peeking out from under his long sleeves on his wrist, and reached out for it. I pushed his sleeve back, my thumb caressing the opaque Tag. Yes, Jun had found his soulmate too, she’s a really nice girl from the art club. I pictured my half-faded Tag in my mind. My Tag was on the right corner of my waist, and I didn’t let many people see it. Insecurities. 

“Don’t think about it too much. You’re still young, you know,” Jun comforted. I smiled, not looking away from his Tag.

“Yeah.”

Jun’s phone vibrated and he unlocked it, viewing a message or something. I didn’t peek. 

“Hey, look at this,” Jun said, putting the phone in front of my face as I read the text message sent to him by the teacher-in-charge of the dance club.

There will be a new member joining the club today. He’s a transfer. Do take care of him.

I frowned. New member?

“I wonder who,” Jun said, sliding his phone back into his pocket.

The rest of the members from the club came in over the next few minutes, and soon all were present, except for that new guy.

I checked the clock. Five more minutes before he’ll be checked down as ‘late’.

The door burst open then, and a blonde-hair guy came jogging in. 

“Sorry! Got caught up with something,” he said. He looked American. No, he was definitely American. But he spoke really fluent Korean.

“It’s alright, you’re not exactly late. Just come a bit earlier next time,” Jun smiled, before noticing the confused looks on the other member’s faces. 

“Oh right, do introduce yourself,” Jun said to the newcomer who had just placed his bag down at an opposite corner of the studio.

“Of course. I’m Vernon, and you can probably tell, I’m not Korean. I’m from New York, but I’ve lived here since I was a toddler.”

Everyone eyed him, waiting for him the reveal the part that everyone was naturally curious about. 

Vernon chuckled slightly. “No, I haven’t found my soulmate. Not exactly the norm, I know, but I try not to think too much about it.”

Everyone nodded, some giving him sympathetic looks, but welcoming him warmly. Jun and I glanced over each other, giving each other surprised looks.

We carried on with dance practice, and Vernon obviously had dance background. He followed well and caught the steps quick. 


“Ten minutes break, everyone!” Jun announced.

I huffed, sweeping my hair over my shoulders as I walked towards my bag. 

“Hey, umm…” someone spoke in English behind me.

I turned around to see Vernon behind me. 

“Oh, hey!” I greeted back in English, trying to not be awkward. “I’m Y/N.”

“Nice to meet you, Y/N,” he said. “I was just wondering if you’re American? Considering the fact that you can reply me in English.”

“Yeah,” I chuckled. “I am. From LA.”

“That’s nice.”

I shrugged, picking my bottle up from the floor as I took a sip. “I guess so.”

“And also, if it isn’t too personal..” Vernon trailed off, waiting for permission for him to continue. He knew that I knew what he was going to ask. 

I smiled bitterly. “No, I haven’t found mine either.”

He returned the smile. “So we’re on the same page.”

“Yeah, we are,” I said.

“Do you mind if we walk to the dorms together after practice? I want to know you more,” Vernon said hesitantly. 

“Would love to,” I said, because I wanted to know him more too.


After practice, I greeted Jun goodbye, and he muttered something like “That guy could be him” before we went separate ways. 

Vernon and I started walking towards the dorms, which was just a couple of blocks away from our studio.

“How do you deal with everything? Like, not having your soulmate with you…” I asked. 

He shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s irritating, really. But I distract myself a lot by doing things that heavily occupy my mind.”

I nodded in agreement. “I do that too. That’s pretty much the only thing I can do.”

We continued simple talk all the way to the dorms, asking each other questions that weren’t too personal. We matched well.

“What’s your dorm number?” I asked as we approached the dorm buildings. 

“Building 2. Room 58.”

I raised an eyebrow. “How coincidental.”

“Huh?”

“That’s my room.”

“Wait, it’s possible for guys and girls to mix dorms in this school?”

“Yeah. Kind of,” I said, smiling. “Let’s go!”


Vernon and I grew undeniably close over the next few weeks. He pretty much became my best friend, alongside Jun. We knew pretty much everything about each other after 4 weeks. Everything except for how each other’s Tags looked. I wasn’t planning on showing it to him anytime yet. I didn’t want to have false hopes that he may be my soulmate.

It was already obvious that I liked him. I liked him a lot. So if he wasn’t my soulmate, I can’t even imagine the pain I would feel. I didn’t want to find out his Tag because of this. 


I walked into the dorm, just finishing my classes for the day. It was already 6pm, and Vernon was already in the room when I came in.

“Hey,” he greeted, and I smiled as i placed my bag on my desk.

“Hey.”

“Can I serious-talk?” he asked abruptly.

“I’m awake enough,” I said. “What is it?”

Vernon quickly pulled me to sit on his bed. We both sat down in silence as I waited for him to speak. 

Vernon’s eyes were fixed on the right side of my waist, making me increasingly uncomfortable. Did he see it? There was no way. I always wore clothes long enough to cover my waist.

“I saw it, Y/N,” Vernon said. “Your hoodie rolled up past your waist yesterday night. I climbed up the bunk to ask you something, I didn’t know you were already sleeping.”

I bit my lips, looking away. How was I supposed to deal with this? What if it wasn’t the same as his? What if-

“They’re the same.” Vernon said.

I snapped my head towards him. Did I hear him right?

He rolled up his sleeve on his left arm, revealing his Tag. He’s right. It was the same. His was a black outline of wings, with a turquoise shade surrounding it.

Like mine.

I apprehensively lifted my hoodie, checking the finest details of the Tag and comparing it to his. No mistake — they were the same. 

“Vernon!” I exclaimed, jumping onto him, engulfing him in a hug. 

He laughed, his arms wrapping around me tightly. I never felt so happy in my life. My heart was thumping. I felt like I was going to cry.

“Just for the record, feelings were mutual all this while, Y/N,” he told me. “Jun told me everything. You having a crush on me, blablabla.”

I pulled away, staring at him with wide eyes, before covering my face and falling flat onto his bed. “I’m going to kill Jun.”

Vernon laughed. “I’d like to see you do that, babe.”


“Y/N~! Wake up!” Vernon called, jumping on top of me. I grunted, feeling air get pushed out of my lungs.

“You’re heavy, you asshole! Get off!” I said, pushing him off. He laughed aloud, rolling off me but stayed lying beside me, one arm draped across my waist.

“Don’t jump on me. You may just break my ribs by accident, you elephant.”

“It’s okay, I’ll be at your funeral,” he joked. I laughed and kicked him off my bed.

“You’re mean,” I said, walking off to the bathroom to wash up. He followed me to the sink, wrapping his arms around my waist loosely as he nuzzled his face into my neck. I giggled.

He looked up, resting his chin on my shoulder, looking at our reflection in the mirror in front of us. 

“I can’t believe we’re confirmed soulmates,” he said. “This was all I wished for.”

I smiled and he gently turned me to face him, closing the distance between us as he placed his lips on mine.

We broke the kiss, and I chuckled. “Me too.”

Plus One

In which Harry gets the help of a little girl to go on a date with (Y/N)


“Will you do the honors of being my maid of honor, (Y/N)?”, your friend asked beaming at you. She’s been your bestest friend ever since you were young; you knew you had to accept her request even though weddings weren’t your scene. But for (Y/F/N) you’ll do anything.

One day, while you two were setting up the preparations for the wedding (Y/F/N) drops the bomb about Harry being the best man. Her and her fiance have been trying to set the two of you up for months but scheduling a date was always tough. Although, whenever Harry and you would see each other; the two of you would always have some sort of physical attraction to one another. All of your friends were waiting for the day the two of you hooked up.

 The big day had finally arrived; you were on a beautiful beach in Honolulu, Hawaii walking down the aisle with the honorary best man. In all honesty, Harry and you had stole the whole show. Finally, (Y/F/N) was walking down the aisle wearing a beautiful mermaid gown.  

The ceremony began and the couple were starting to recite their vows; a lot of the braid maids were crying and a sight that had surprised you was seeing Harry tearing up behind the groom.

 During the reception, after all the speeches and some more tears. The dancing begun; you being the one that doesn’t do much dancing had decided to go to the bar and just watch everyone enjoy themselves. There is two people that you see on the dance floor that just warms your heart; Harry and a little girl no older than the age of 4. You’ve always heard rumors from (Y/F/N) about Harry being amazing with kids; which is probably the most attractive thing ever in your opinion.

 Throughout the whole night, you watch Harry playing with this little girl who you find out was a flower girl named Lucy. They are playing tag and you could probably laugh at the sight of a grown man running away from a giggly little girl. When it was his turn; he would always boop her little nose.

 Lucy’s mom stands beside you watching them with you; “I was a little reluctant about bringing her because I thought my baby was going to be alone with all these adults”, she says. “Turns out she’s having more fun than I expected her to have,” you guys both laugh at this.

 Little Lucy actually invites you to play with them, “would you like to play with Harry and me please? He says you’re very pretty.” She mumbles in a little baby voice. You and Harry both blush at this; Harry embarrassed because he’s been exposed by a 4 year old.

“Lucy, you were just supposed to ask if she wanted to play with us!”, He said laughing the embarrassment off.

“So what do you say (Y/N)? Do you want to play a game with us?”, he asks holding his hand out. “I would love too”, you say laughing at him and taking his hand into yours.

 The three of you guys continue to play until Lucy has to go to sleep. The sweet girl thanks the two of you for playing with her. Lucy manages to whisper in your ear. “please be nice to Harry, he likes you this much.” She stretches out her arms as wide as they can go. You guys bid your farewell to the little girl.

 Harry insist on walking you back to your room but you aren’t ready to go back because you enjoy his company; you won’t tell him that though. He suggests the two of you go sit by the beach and watch the waves.

That night you found out so much about Harry; like how he love rom coms, was a hopeless romantic, and how weddings were the favorite thing. He even let you know that the bouquet toss was his favorite.

“I would’ve participated on it tonight but I wouldn’t want to embarrass myself infront of a pretty girl,” he says winking at you. You swear your face became hot from blushing so hard.

Throughout the whole night Harry was a complete gentleman to you; always making sure you were warm. The whole night was basically Harry getting to know you; unlike all the rest of the guys that would just talk about themselves.

“As much as I would love to stay and chat with you for hours, I really think it’s time for us to head back.” He says a little disappointed. “I’ll walk you back, (Y/N)”

 There’s a comfortable silence the whole walk back to the room. Maybe because you guys were a little disappointed you two had to leave each other.

 “Well this is my room, thank you so much for the night Harry,” You smile at him.

You were about to head into your room until Harry stopped you.

“(Y/N), would you like to do something with me? I mean it’s totally fine if you don’t, I just thought it might be fun.” He asks nervously rubbing the back of his head.

“Sure, Harry. Pick me up at 12?” Harry looks up at you with a pure joy.

“Of course, Love! See you then,” He replied.

You guys say your goodbyes and you had done something bold; kissing his cheek and winking at him.

 Now, who would’ve thought a 4 year old was going to be the one that helps you get the date with Harry?


A/N: Hope you all enjoyed this piece !! kinda iffy about this one but here it is :) Thank you for reading this; and dont be afraid to send in request!!!  

thesnowymeadows  asked:

i've been puzzled by Critical Role for such a long time like i know it's a bunch of people playing D&D but how does it WORK??? and how can you binge it?? i checked an episode at random and it wAS 4 HOURS LONG HOW ???

Oh man, I honestly had these same exact questions/concerns before I started watching. It literally took me 8 months to finally decide to give the show a try and I just cannot express how glad I am I did. It seems so massive and overwhelming, but I’m gonna legit answer these questions and only hijack your ask to gush about the show a little to tempt you in

how does it WORK???
I knew veryyyy little about the mechanics of D&D going in. I’d never played any tabletop RPG (though I’d been interested in trying one for a long time), and pretty much my understanding was the really general ‘it’s whatever you can imagine/you do whatever you want to do and you roll dice to see if you’re successful’ etc., and the Community episodes where they play D&D. I was not quite sure how this was going to logistically be something you watch long term (as a non-participant) nor if I was going to be interested in/connect with characters that I can’t really seeI’m a pretty visual person. The idea of D&D made sense to me logically before I watched Critical Role, but I didn’t really get it until I started watching. So, tbh the best way to understand how it works is to give it a shot. (If you’re like me you won’t understand everything immediately—you pick it up as you go, and what you don’t understand of the mechanics really doesn’t matter because you can still understand the story they’re telling.)

Logistically speaking, everyone is visible on screen at the same time: 7-8 players on one half of the screen, and the Dungeon Master (DM), Matt, on the other side. Matt basically describes where the characters are (physically and narratively), and presents them with a catalyst (e.g., a character asking them for help, a villain attacking, etc.) that starts the action and the players decide how to respond. Really, the three core aspects in my opinion are 1) collaborative storytelling, 2) improvisational theatre, and 3) logic puzzles.

and how can you binge it?? 
Oh man. I mean this literally: I was watching/listening to Critical Role every single chance I got. I devoured it. Minimum of three episodes a day, and forcing myself to go to sleep and leave it. There are a lot of reasons I could binge it:

  • The storytelling. It’s so damn good. One of the most narratively rewarding stories I’ve watched or read in years. The world-building is fantastic and has no loose ends (while feeling MASSIVE and open and real). The plot is interesting, well-planned, and character-driven; everything feels meaningful in one way or another. The NPCs Matt introduces are all rich and compelling and unique. And—something I value immensely in story that I rarely get—there are consequences. Honest-to-god consequences for everything, and it always feels appropriate for the action, and well-timed (things don’t always bite you immediately! But also sometimes they do!). 
  • The players. They make such ridiculous, amazing choices that keep the story unpredictable but realistic. All of them have stellar comedic timing, but can also make me cry at the drop of a hat. They care so deeply about the characters and invest everything into the game/their interactions, and it just feels rewarding to invest my time in them and their world. Not a single issue connecting to the characters—they sell them 100%, but they do feel separate from the actors in a good way. 
  • Found family. The chemistry of this group is amazing—it’s a group of real life best friends and it feels like it, constantly—and it comes through in both the players’ relationships and the characters’. It’s just fun, and warm, and comforting to see people (real and fictional) who care as much about each other as these guys do. It’s just a good time. I see my friends in them, and I see friends I would like to have. 
  • You can have it on in the background. Logistically speaking, this is how you can binge it. While it can be something you sit and watch—trust me—it’s also essentially a filmed podcast, so you have have it in the background, or listen to it without video like I did while I was doing my dumb data entry job. (Bless my boss for letting me listen to stuff.) And, as much as the completist in me hates to say this, it’s likely you’ll tune out occasionally; the long fights can become number-crunching heavy/repetitive, and they do have some circuitous conversations when they’re planning what to do. 
  • You’ll wanna go into the tag. If you don’t care about spoilers this won’t mean as much to you, but I was dying to dip into tumblr to find fanart and headcanons and gifs and stuff, but I didn’t want to spoil myself. So there was that kind of urgent push for me to catch up AS QUICKLY AS POSSIBLE!!! so I could go looking. Plus, because there is a new episode every single week, there’s none of that pesky urge to put off watching something until a hiatus, you know?

i checked an episode at random and it wAS 4 HOURS LONG HOW ???
And sometimes more than that! They do SO MUCH STUFF each week (plot and character development and fighting and relationship progression and they don’t rush ANYTHING), they have to make so many decisions, and they just burn through those 3+ hours. (And they usually end up stepping in it somehow and having to make a detour to clean up their own mess, lbr.) Honestly, these episodes look fucking long, and they are, really. But the time stamps are a bit off at a quick glance; about the first half of the series has inflated run times—fans started sending in gifts they would open at the end, they did Q&As, they had subscriber milestone awards, etc.—so some of that is skip-able. It’s fun, but definitely stuff you can go back and watch once you’re caught up and out of content. There are also a few one-shot episodes here and there that you can also skip until you catch up. (Definitely worth watching though, later!)

So, it is a little less than it looks like. But truthfully, it just goes by really fast. You get sucked in. The action goes fast. You’re dying to see what happens next. The biggest issue I had with this series was starting it, so honestly for anyone interested in this series I recommend just watching the first episode. Don’t worry about reading up on what happened before they started streaming the show, don’t worry about knowing who the characters are, or what it’s going to look like. It won’t make full sense until you just dive in. (That being said, if you want a reference theargentumlupine’s primer is fantastic and was very comforting to have going in.) It seems unthinkable when you’re looking at 2384975987295 hours of canon, but as early as episode ~40 I started worrying about being out of episodes  ❤

Let’s Have Another

Pairings: Bucky x Reader || Steve x Natasha

Summary: Bucky gets broody.

Warnings: Fluff. Implied/referenced smut. Possibly mild language.

Notes: For @bucky-plums-barnes‘ writing challenge. Congrats on 8k, my darling Gen! My prompt was #28: “Can we have another baby.” This is in bold somewhere in the fic.

My Masterlist

——————————

“Sarah—honey, no! Don’t eat that!” Steve cries, leaping up from the picnic blanket and rushing over to the kids. He scoops his one-year-old daughter into his arms and shoves a finger into her mouth, trying to dig out the…whatever it is she ate. Natasha watches on, an amused smile on her face.

“Honestly Barnes, your daughter is a bad influence on my child,” she sighs, twisting her head to fake-glare at you and Bucky.

“Becca?”, Bucky gasps, feigning surprise, “Our daughter is an angel, Tasha, she would never do something like that,”.

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Suprise

Bucky x Reader

warnings: angst ( bawling uncontrollably counts)

Word count: 1,140

Y/N = your name

E/C = eye color

Summary: Bucky finds out one of his old gal friends is in town and was invited to hang out. But reader has a bad history with her since she too loved Bucky so she wants to come along, but Bucky doesn’t think that it is a good idea. This leads to an argument that doesn’t end with tears of happiness. 


“Bucky c’mon, I see no reason to why I can’t come along, she’s just your friend right?” You and Bucky mostly never agrue over stupid things like this, but ever since Claire (best friend that used to love him) called and asked Bucky to hang out today, you couldn’t help but feel panicky. 

“She is just a friend Y/N, and it’s just because the last time she was with us you looked so uncomfortable and looked as if you were gonna tear her head off.” Bucky had said while getting dressed. 

“Well how could I not Bucky! She kept on brushing her hand against your own, and making googly eyes at you!” Bucky knew that you were insecure about loosing him because you thought you weren’t good enough, or as beautiful …like Claire.  After Bucky finished pulling down his shirt he came to you and had grabbed your hands while looking into your E/C eyes. “ Y/N I promise she is only a friend and we’ll only be out for a couple of hours.” 

Keep reading

Sober - Part Four

Characters: Kwon Jiyong (G-Dragon) Big Bang, Song Mino - Winner 

Genre: Angst 

Words: 5,209

Originally posted by daesungstrash

Keep reading

KINDERGARTEN:
When I was 5 I put on my brother’s glasses and
my mom’s shoes and
my dads tie and found my mother at the dining room table crying.
I went and stood right next to her and said I was trying
to make her less sad and then
she told me she was mad at daddy because
he was hitting me and Sam.
I told her, but it’s okay! It doesn’t hurt so bad, I told her
look! No boo boos on my body, look!
I’m okay! And she said, yes,
my little girl is all grown up,
an adult in the body of a five-year-old.

GRADE 2:
When I was 7 my mom would stand on the sidelines
as my brother’s head cracked and bled
and my dad tied rope around the door knob of my childhood bedroom
and my mom cried and cried and screamed
stop! Stop! And then she let my dad
make my brother bleed and then
she let him lock me in my room and then
two or three days later
my dad would remove the ropes and
my mom would come in and wrap me up in a hug to tell me how
sad it made her that daddy had hurt me and I told her
it’s okay, mommy! It’s okay! And I rubbed her back while
she rubbed me in places for mommy to never touch and
she cried into my shoulder as I sat on the carpet of my childhood bedroom which
was covered in my own urine and feces.

GRADE 3:
When I was 8 my mom and dad called up to me and Sam,
had us down on the couch for a family meeting, said,
we are getting a divorce and then
my brother was in tears and my mother
was in tears and I said, hey! It’s okay!
And I held my mothers hand and I
rubbed my brothers back and
my dad just kinda sat there as I cared for the two of them.

GRADE 4:
When I was 9 my dad came to me and said,
was your mother cheating on me with her boyfriend when we were still married?
I said, what? Of course not! She loved you, she loved us. And he said,
okay, thanks, I trust you because I know
that your mom would tell you secrets when
she would come into your room at night.

Then when I was 9 my mom got married to a new man;
she said that she loved him and that
he would treat us better than our dad except that
he ended up being just as bad.
And on their wedding night my mommy cried
after she yelled at me all night because
my dress could have gotten dirty even though
I was unbearably careful not to get my red adult lipstick on it’s ivory white,
she said she wanted me to sleep in her bed.
So mommy and me slept in a king sized lovers bed as
she cried into my shoulder and I told her it was going to be okay and
Because of Winn Dixie played on TV until we both fell asleep and
I was still wearing mascara and
she didn’t notice when it streaked tears on my cheeks because
it was never about me.

GRADE 5:
Mommy had a baby when I was 10 and he was so cute and
I locked myself in the closet at the hospital and I cried and cried and
I screamed at my mother for ruining his life
and he hadn’t even been breathing for more than 24 hours but somehow
I already knew that he was fucked and
my mom was so angry with me until
at home the next few days I told her I was sorry and then
she cried into my shoulders because
she was sad and had that thing that mothers have when
they have their baby and then become extremely depressed.

MIDDLE SCHOOL:
Mom comes home with stories from work,
how she hates this person and how
this client is awful and how
this employee sucks and
it’s all work, work, work, and then
yelling when I try to say I can’t handle hearing about work anymore.

I am screamed at for getting sick, then
mommy gets sick and I am on my hands and knees at her bed,
begging her to let me help her feel better
because if I don’t she will stop loving me and
without her love what would I be?

When I was 13 my mom and I fought more than talked.
She tried prying me open because
I had shut myself up tight and all I ever did was silently nod my head
and sometimes say “mhm” and “oh”
to simulate a person who was listening
but my mother needed more of me and
I needed more of a mother and
mommy always ended up the one who got what she wanted and I
always ended up crying alone at night.

HIGH SCHOOL:
When I was 14 my mom took me to a Taylor Swift concert and
in the car on the way there she was silently sulking so
I kept trying to cheer her up and finally it worked and then at the concert she was angry and sad and
I worried the whole time about how I could help her feel better and
I let her touch me in ways which were not okay so she would smile and
then I finally enjoyed parts of the concert until
we got in the car again and I realized I had
used the bathroom in my pants.

When I was 15 I was so used to
being nothing more to my mom than an ear for her
to scream into or cry into that I would constantly forget
to listen to my body and my head.
When I was 15 I never ate and used the bathroom in my pants and
my mom didn’t even notice that I spent most of my time
in bed because unless she was in it with me
the beating in my chest didn’t matter.

When I was 16 I lived with my dad and
my mom would put me in the middle of their fights as
many kids who have divorced parents understand but
my mom would call me in tears to say that
my dad didn’t want me in his life and
as a teenager I believed her because
that’s my mom and I knew so many of her secrets and
why would she lie? And she would call me
and she would cry and
I would tell her it’s okay! It’s okay!
The same way that I always had and
then we would hang up and I would slice open my skin
because what else are you supposed to do
when your mom is using you and
your dad doesn’t want you to live?

When I was 17 and 18 and 19 and 20 I tried to kill myself and
my mom was in tears and she would sit at my bedside and I would say,
It’s okay! It’s okay! Look, the cuts aren’t even that bad,
I’m going to get better and you’re going to be okay and
the boo boos are so small!
And she would cry and I would hold her hand
and I would comfort her as if she was the one
who was laying in a hospital bed with
a stomach that had just been pumped and
stitches up and down her fucking arms and legs.

When I was in treatment centers for
starving myself and slicing myself open and filling my body with poison pills over and over and over again
my mom came into family sessions and
she would cry and say she was always there for me and
why don’t I ever talk to her?
Why don’t I go to her for support?
And I would say,
It’s okay! I love you! You’re going to be okay, we will get through this!
Until the day when I decided that
we wouldn’t because I couldn’t live this life in which
she was allowed to steal my soul over and over and then
get to play the victim for support so
I yelled and screamed and told the therapist
how things really were and my mom’s palms were bleeding because
she always bled when she touched me and the therapist
blamed the thorns which were born onto me
and said that I needed to try and have more empathy.

When I was 17 I lived at my moms house;
I was somehow convinced that it’d be better
than my dad’s because it was the lesser of two evils and
I don’t know if that was true but I know that my mom
had me wrapped around her little finger and
when I moved out of her house she cried
and said she did not think she would be able to live her life
without knowing I was at home with her and
I felt a small pang of guilt because
I held her hand for so long as she told me
she was going to die and she made me believe that
without my hand I would send her to her grave except that my hand had always been coated in thorns, she just
liked to bleed because bleeding meant
she’d get other people’s sympathy.

After I moved out my mother figured out how to fucking live without me
and today she will have to continue to fucking live this way day after day
and then she’ll have to figure it out forever because
I never want to go back to being that girl
who was forced to stuff her head filled with cotton balls
so she could drown out the noise of her mother’s ache after
being shot up with her own poison novocaine.

I was constantly in need of eyes which would see what was happening to me.
I needed her to say no to my dad and then
take the rope off the door and
call 911 when my brothers head would bleed and
I needed her to smell the feces and then
clean it up and protect me and
I needed her to listen to me and to take her hands off my body
when I told her to stop and I needed her to notice
that every single time a tear from her fucking broken eyes landed onto my skin
it created a welt and the welts have never healed
and I needed her to be there but she wasn’t and
now I am permanently scarred because
of the way she used my baby brain as a sponge as if
I was the one who would be able to soak up all of her pain
and then just be able to put it away somewhere safe.

Now here I am, crying because
I am writing ANOTHER fucking poem about
how my mother looked the other way
when I was in excruciating pain and how
I do not have a time machine.
I only have these words and maybe that’s why
all my poems go on for six, seven,
ten pages long;
it’s the only way I can explain that my mom and my dad and
my family and friends were such utter negatives in a life which had the potential to be so positive and how
I have to start from square one because
I never got to have a childhood;
I spent too much time being a mother to my mother and
not enough time wearing diapers and
learning how to walk because
I already knew how to talk when I was too small to know that
being touched and being fucked and being hurt in ways that felt
so bad that it physically shut off your brain
wasn’t okay and
maybe I just have no other way to explain
how much pain my whole entire life has been filled with
unless I go on and on
without knowing when the words are going to stop.

As a child I was a parent and
as an adult I am a child and
I don’t know how to find the in-between.
I am in a weird sort of limbo where
I am trying to keep myself together and I am
trying to keep the adult in me clean while
also crying when I spill milk at the table and
sucking on my fingers in my sleep.

I still hope everyday that my mother
can find a way to be happy, but I know
that her happiness is not going to be found
through touching or talking or stealing my life away from me.

When I was a child, my mom called me her therapist and then
when I grew up I got my own therapist
who I now want to call my mom and
I am endlessly confused and conflicted;

all I know for sure is this:
I am shattered into small pieces,
each holding a memory.
My mom belongs to so many of those parts of me
and I am trying to figure out how
I can throw them into the fire without
being engulfed inside that same flame.

—  JUST ANOTHER EXTREMELY LONG POEM ABOUT MY ACHING FOR A MOTHER (han hyland)

anonymous asked:

dyou have any....... Sad Headcanons? :0 i love torturing myself with sad headcanons lmao

I do.. 

Murdoc  

  • Tried to contact his father at one point to casually slide in the fact that he’d made a successful band but his father brushed him off, it hurt him more than he’d hoped and Murdoc saw it as the last straw, he gave up on trying to talk to his father after that.
  • During phase 1 he’d frequently disappear for days and it would scare Noodle; she would cry, stay up, and call his phone to ask where he was but he never would answer
  • At one point when he was younger he wanted to be perceived as artistic and tender, so he tried to do a stage performance - by his own choice, but everyone at the bar hated it and he quickly hardened in terms of himself as an artist but the work itself is still venerable (I’m thinking about the plastic beach lyrics versus how he presents himself as a rock star) 
  • Once smashed one of 2D’s customized pianos that he’d made with his dad and when he saw 2D’s face he genuinely felt very very ashamed.

2D

  •  I imagine in phase 3 he did a bit of self harm for several reasons, by now most of them are in that light pinkish stage 
  • Can’t bear to look at photos of himself from when he was younger, he easily breaks down when he thinks about everything that’s happened in the long run
  • Sometimes in public when someone accidentally grabs him too hard or moves too quickly he’ll just shut down and start sobbing
  • Deeply ashamed of some of the things he said during phase 2
  • Sometimes he’ll be trying to do very normal things, like reading the paper, but the words just don’t make sense and he’ll re-read and go over and over but he’ll always just come back blank, the others try to help on days like this but in the end he’ll usually just cry of frustration and no one will really know what to say or do.
  • Shoots bottles in the backyard when he’s upset, he’s getting pretty good at it

Russ

 I like to think Russ has a lot of psychotic symptoms because it helps me deal with things and I think it makes sense in my mind. 

  • He has a lot of paranoia issues.
  • He falls into episodes very frequently and easily and because of his private nature it’s not always apparent but one of there others will walk into his room to ask him a question and they’ll see notes all over the walls and find out that Russel has been scared out of his mind for the past few days from delusions.  
  • Has a fear of walking alone in the city or being too out in the open, after the shooting he always makes sure he has somewhere to escape to.
  • Prone to just staying in bed all day and thinking and thinking and thinking
  • Obsessed with mortality, sometimes he’ll think about how noodle 2D murdoc (and katsu) are going to die and just start crying

Noodle

  • Prone to very intense angry outbursts because she goes into a “fight or flight mode” very easily just from all the shit she’s been through and she can unintentionally lash out at the others
  • Has trichotillomania and frequently cuts/pulls her hair when she’s really stressed
  • She remembers the first time she genuinely saw Murdoc hurting 2D and her perception of him changed a lot that day. (Murdoc noticed she wasn’t as friendly and even looked a bit scared of him but she say anything when he prodded about it)
  • Noodle is sensitive at shows, the blinding lights and loud audience can sometimes stir memories of the El Mañana video, she just focuses harder on playing. 
  • Still has a lot of nightmares, she feels a bit childish in asking to sleep with any of the guys but when they can tell it gets bad the boys will take it upon themselves to just slip into the bed and hug her without saying a word.

I’m not sure if all of these these are necessarily sad but they’re things I think about pretty often, admittedly a lot of them are really self indulgent and just me transposing personal shit but u know we all do that 

Blood

(A/N): I decided to go with a different sort of approach, just to help some people relate to this more I guess?

Request: I’m watching political animals and wondered if you could write a fic about bucky finding the reader unconscious from a suicide attempt in a car (like TJ in the show)? Just an inspiration you don’t have to follow the show :)

Warning: cutting, blood, suicidal reader, it’s angsty you guys

 Tags: @mcuimxgine, @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x, @saradi1018, @holland-toms, @superwholockian309, @fly-f0rever, @capbuckthor, @livandlilah


Originally posted by coporolight

   Bucky had always known (Y/N) struggled with many things; depression, anxiety, OCD, self esteem issues, and more than enough suicidal thinking to drive one mad but he thought that they were doing fine, he thought their medication had been working; little did he know that it was only making them worse, only making them want to take their life more.  

   It had been a sunshiney afternoon when Bucky sensed it, he sensed something was wrong with (Y/N) (he had a knack for detecting stuff like that). They were in the shower at the moment and they had specifically asked Bucky to never, ever walk in on them during their showers but he just couldn’t ignore this feeling. 

   With a soft sigh Bucky placed the tv remote down and made his way into his bedroom- a bedroom he had once shared with (Y/N). But recently they had needed their space and they took up to sleeping in a room across the hall. It was strange not having a body pressed right up against his during the night, all he had now was a vast ocean if empty sheets- but that didnt matter now, what mattered were Bucky’s gut feelings about (Y/N). 

   He gingerly knocked on the bathroom door but when there came no reply other than the gushing shower Bucky did get a little worried and that’s when he heard it, the soft sob of (Y/N), a broken, painful little noise that made Bucky’s chest ache. Whatever was going on in there was more important than (Y/N) telling him to stay out, something was wrong and he wasn’t going to stand around and wait to find out. Without a moments hesitation Bucky opened the door only to be hit with the copious amounts of steam from the shower.

    “Fucking worthless,” (Y/N)’s voice cracks as they berate themselves, something Bucky was used to hearing at this point. “Piece of shit- everyone would be better off without you,” There’s a sudden sob from their lips and Bucky all but lunges for the shower curtain, ripping it back as his nerves finally take control. Bucky’s heart plummets as he takes in the scene, blood coated the bottom of the shower, (Y/N)’s wrist was pooling blood, and clasped between their fingers was a small knife, a knife they had to have stolen from Bucky’s bedside table.

    Immediately Bucky reaches for the knife, hoping to get it away from (Y/N) before they hurt themselves more.

    “No!” (Y/N) yells as they clutch the knife tightly. “Don’t come near me!”

    “(Y/N)-” Bucky reached out for them again but this time they didn’t recoil instead they took the knife and set to furiously cutting their wrists, leaving puddles of blood to hit the shower walls, floor, and anything between. “(Y/N)! Stop!” Bucky yelled as he grabbed them, trying to wrestle the knife from their grasp without hurting them further. “(Y/N)! Drop it!” Bucky hugged their arms at their sides with one arm while the other desperately reached for the blood soaked knife. (Y/N) sobbed against him, futilely trying to get away. 

   "Let me die, let me die, why won’t you le me die?“ (Y/N) was nearly screaming now as they attempted to break out of Bucky’s grasp. "God, just let me fucking die!” (Y/N)’s voice was so Loud and full of so much pain Bucky nearly started to cry but he had to keep it together, he had to keep it together for (Y/N). 

  Finally Bucky wrestled the knife successfully out of (Y/N)’s grasp and he was able to chuck it into the shower as he picked (Y/N) up, carrying them out of the water and blood stained shower. 

   "Please just let me die,“ (Y/N) sobs as Bucky grabs a towel to wrap around their bleeding wrists. "Friday, call Bruce down here now!” Bucky yelled as he made a tourniquet of sorts out of the towels. Even with his expertise the blood was soaking through towel, turning the white pieces of cloth red. 

   "I’m so sorry Bucky, I’m so sorry-“

    "it’s okay doll,” Bucky soothed as he held their wrists tightly. “It’s okay,” Bucky looked at their wrists as he bit his lip. God- how could he not have noticed that they weren’t okay? Why did he have to let it come to this? This could have been avoidable if only Bucky had- 

   "Bucky, it’s Bruce, is everything okay?“

    "No, no. Bruce we need you in here now,” The door creaked open and not even a minute later Bruce appeared in the bathroom, looking the scene over once before quickly setting to work; He didnt even have to say anything to know what was going on. 

   "Bucky, bring them down to the lab stat,“ Bucky nods as he picks up (Y/N), holding them to his body as though it’d be the last time he could and with the way (Y/N)’s towels were starting to drip blood he was starting to think that maybe it would.


    Bruce had gotten (Y/N)’s level back to normal, they were alive and that’s all Bucky cared about.

    "I’m prescribing you some new meds, the lowest dosage though so we can see how well you react to them,” Bruce muttered as he handed (Y/N) a bottle of medicine. “But that’s not gonna be enough (Y/N)- I think you need to start seeing a counselor-" 

    "Bruce-”

    “(Y/N), you’re seeing a counselor, I’ll call him myself and set up an appointment for you. But we’re also going to have to monitor you 24/7 and by we I mean Bucky. I’m sorry but we can’t trust you to be alone anymore, no sleeping in separate bedrooms anymore, no more missions until you get better, and wherever you go Bucky goes, understand?” (Y/N) nods as they sniffle, wiping at their dripping nose as they stare at the floor intently. “Good,” Bruce smiled gently. “I just want you to know (Y/N),” Bruce placed a gentle hand on their thigh, gripping their knee softly. “We all care about you, every single one of us, anyone you’ve saved, they care too. Not a single person wouldn’t care if you died, I hope you can realize this someday,” And with that and another gentle smile Bruce turned on his heel to walk out of the lab, leaving (Y/N) and Bucky alone.

    “Wanna go get some clothes?” Bucky whispers to (Y/N) who was still sopping wet from their shower. (Y/N) nods softly as they reach their arms out, silently asking for Bucky to pick them up. With a soft smile Bucky complies, holding (Y/N) tightly as he escorted them back up to their floor. They gently nuzzled their face into Bucky’s neck, most likely to get away from reality, to hide away until everything suddenly got better.


    The elevator dings and Bucky walks onto their floor. His eyes immediately train in on the small droplets of blood that had most likely stained the wood at this point. God- he had almost lost (Y/N), his sweet, precious (Y/N). Pain wells within his chest as he stares a a particularly large spot of blood, the image of (Y/N)’s bleeding wrists return to mind and Bucky feels as though he may vomit but he doesn’t- he steels himself and carries on, bound and determined to be the strong one. 

   Bucky carries them to their room, their shared room. He grabs them a sweatshirt and some shorts but when they get dressed they only put on the sweatshirt, his sweatshirt.

    “Can we-” (Y/N) licks ther lips as they stare at their heavily bandaged wrists. “Can we just lay down for now? Maybe listen to some music or something?" 

   "Yeah, of course doll,” Whatever kept (Y/N) protected and happy at this point Bucky would do it, even if it was the most ridiculous and strange thing he had ever heard he sure as hell would still do it. Bucky nods as sits on the bed, (Y/N) following closely at his side. “What do you wanna listen to?”

    “Can we listen to some of the old stuff, the stuff from your time?” Bucky smiles and nods as (Y/N) keeps their eyes glued to their lap, obviously too ashamed to look Bucky in the eyes.

   "Friday, will you please play the oldies but goodies playlist?“

    "Certainly sir,” the ai chimed and suddenly a soft, almost jazzy melody filled the room. Satisfied with his choice Bucky laid down on the bed, once again (Y/N) following his lead. Immediately they curl up to him, practically as close as humanly possible but Bucky didn’t mind- in fact he rather enjoyed the close proximity. 

   Everything is silent for awhile as the two lay there, merely holding each other tightly, as though their lives depended upon it. But eventually the silence is broken by (Y/N)’s soft, broken voice. 

   "I’m sorry Bucky, I’m so sorry you had to see that,“

   "it’s okay doll, it was nothing I couldn’t handle," 

   "you don’t deserve that, after seeing so much bloodshed you shouldn’t have to see it in your goddamn home-" 

   "Hey, no, don’t think like that. I don’t care about that, what I care about is you being safe and happy and feeling loved, not if I had to walk in on a bit of blood.” (Y/N) falls silent again, most likely as they think through their words but just as quickly as the silence came over them it dissipates once again.

    “I’m so sorry you have to deal with me and all my baggage,”

    “(Y/N), if there’s anyone who should be apologizing it’s me. I’ve got more baggage than anyone in this tower so don’t you dare think for one second that you’re a burden or whatever is going through your head, okay? We’ve both got some problems, I’ll admit that, but I won’t ever regret loving you because of that.” (Y/N) falls silent once again, unshed tears brimming at their eyes, just waiting to spill over.

    No one breaks the silence this time, instead they simply lay there, listening to soft music of days past all the while holding each other like it would be the last time they could only now Bucky knew it wouldn’t be.