tagging aga because her video made me love these too so much

anonymous asked:

OH PLEASE. It's not like anyone is putting a gun to your head and FORCING you to play Voltage's games. If you want a stronger MC, go play Voltage USA's games instead of bitching about it. So please do leave the fandom since I'm tired of hearing whiny ass rants.

First of all, I want to thank you for letting me use this gif:

You know, what I don’t understand is why did you have to be so rude about it. We could have discussed it like mature people BUT NOOOO, being polite is too mainstream I suppose?

Anyway, this will probably be a long post so i’ll cut it.

Keep reading

Where’s The D? (Or The Five Times James and Nadine Were Caught... You Know)

Inspired by my favorite tweet in the universe that I will probably have carved into my grave

Rated for profanity (it’s Winter Weather today and the cold makes me potty mouthed)

Caryl

Being in Europe was a joy and a pain in the butt. She had to haul bags from airport to airport, make sure Kuya was awake, make sure he was wearing socks and he was warm enough because Ate gets really pissy when he so much as sneezes… and make sure he’s fed because he gets grumpy, and when he’s grumpy he’s like a baby clinging on to Ate, who only entertains his antics because… well she’s in love and she can’t find fault in her “habibi.”

That was one more thing she hated about Europe, the damned habibi thing was starting to get on her nerves. 

Ever since they came from Dubai the both of them have been laying it on thick with the habibi.

Habibi you’re so cute, kiss mo nga ako!

Habibi love, you can’t wear that I won’t be able to focus, I’d want to bite you!

Habibi are you cold? Do you want your sweater?

Habibi, can you put this in your pocket.

I love you habibi

Kiss, kiss, smooch smooch. 

Blech.

She doesn’t understand how their fans can stand such blatant slaps to single people, I mean can they not  understand that not everyone has a habibi?

And that sometimes they’re so sweet it hurts the teeth?

“Yes, habibi, just there, that’s perfect.”

She rolls her eyes as she opens the connecting door from the room she and Nadine share to James’ room. Ate was probably there telling James how to pack his suitcase again.

“Kayo ha, ang aga aga habibi na kayo agad.”

Then she froze as Nadine squeaked and James jerked and she was assaulted by a vision of James’ bare butt and Nadine’s legs around his shoulders and he collapsed on top of Nadine who hastily pulled the duvet over the both of them burying them under in white.

“OH MY FUCKING SHIT!”

She screamed as she closed her eyes and turned around banging her head on the wall as she tried to erase that image in her brain and then she hears Nadine’s giggles fill the room and James shushing her by a method that caused her to half squeal and half moan that she hastily covered her ears.

“Caryl get out!” James shouted from under the duvet and she walked quickly to the door, turning back to the wriggling shapes under the duvet with a dark scowl on her face.

“Mag lock kayo ng pinto sa susunod!”

Whenever they’d call each other habibi then, Caryl hits one or both of them. She doesn’t need a reminder of James’ white ass staring her in the face.

Irish

Writing a book on the two busiest people in the world is painful. Extremely excruciating because she had to adjust according to schedules, and even drive all the way to QC just to interview the both of them.

Especially now that they were fresh from Europe and Nadine was kind enough to meet her in BGC to finish their interviews.

“Asaan ang jowa mo? Buti hindi bumuntot sa’yo?”

“Nasa Valk lang, dinaanan yung friend niya na DJ, baka susunduin ko pa later.” 

“Hala, okay ka pa ba?”

“Yeah ate, sabi ko magtagal muna siya doon since we’re working and matagal na siyang di nakikita ng friends niya.”

“Iba ka talaga te, kaya mahal na mahal ka eh.”

Nadine only grinned and waved off her comments and she smiled knowingly, because Nadine was such a sweetheart and she really thinks she and James are good for each other. 

They talk a lot over the next three hours until the tea shop closes down and she goes over to the loo while Nadine calls James on her phone.

But before she can enter the stall she remembers she forgot her feminine wipes in her purse and hastily gets out to get them but as she approaches the table, she hears Nadine mumbling in her phone and she tries to quickly get her wipes without alerting Nadine to her presence but the zipper in her vanity purse catches and with a soft curse she tries to tug it free.

“Habibi, pauwi na ako, sunduin ba kita or sabay ka na lang kay Bret pauwi?… Are you sure, it’s still early. Yeah, you should stay. I’ll see you at the house okay? I know… I know but babe, you haven’t seen your friends in a long while… Don’t you think I want you inside me too? I love you too… James I am not having phone sex with you in public.” Her eyes widened as Nadine mumbled the words and she tried to tug her kit faster, not really wanting to hear this when-

“Okay but if you stay with your friends when you go home I promise to lick you up… in that way you like from your ba-”

She picked up her entire bag and ran all the way back to the toilet fanning herself. 

“Putang mga kangkerz to, walang konsiderasyon sa single na nagdudusa sa Brazilian wax.”

The next day she wakes up to multiple tags of her on James’ video in a car with his friends.

She shakes her head because if these bashers only knew that it was Nadine who made him stay and promised him a treat if he did.

Don’t worry. James and Nadine are talking to each other. They call each other Habibi.

Which was appropriate she thought. She’d even shorten it to habhab the next time she sees them both.

Clarky Boy

His masters were simple. They woke up, they rubbed his belly, picked him up and fed him.

Only this time, they seem to be late in waking up and feeding him because he was definitely hungry.

Nosing his way through the small crack in their door, he wonders at the odd sounds coming from the bed.

He raises himself up on his back legs and climbs up, but the bed was rocking so much that he was overbalanced and he drops down, wondering why there was so much shaking…

He tries again, climbing up the bed, and he sees his master, gripping the bars on the end of the bed, his eyes closed and the human who feeds him on top of him, her hands on his chest and she was moving up and down.

A loud, high pitched sound came from his master and he leapt up on the bed barking at the lady who fed him, growling at her for hurting his master when she only laughs and pats his head and the master groans and stands from his position, picking him up and holding him close.

He licks at his master’s hand, whimpering at him and his master rises from the bed and takes him outside placing him down on the floor.

His master poured kibble and milk on his bowl and set it in front of him and he attacked it with gusto.

“Clark, stay. That’s a good boy.”

He plops himself on his butt, craning his ears as his master shut the door and a few minutes later he can hear the creak of the bed springs again… but this time his master was laughing so… it can’t be too bad? Right?

Well, at least until he finished eating he can’t help him anyway.

Yassi

They were just hanging out in a game bar, just playing random board games when she feels her breath become too funky from all the onions from the tacos she consumed earlier.

Nadine and her were in the toilet, which was empty save for the both of them as no one really was around in the game lounge at this time and she was rummaging through her bag for a Tic Tac when she saw that her trusty supply was depleted. Rolling her eyes she cursed Bret for probably eating them all when they were out last night.

“Nadz, hihingi akong breath spray ha.”

“Sure Yass. Check mo sa bag ko.” Nadine answers from inside the cubicle, where she has been in for the past fifteen minutes and Yassi rolls her eyes.

“Ikaw ha, jumejebs ka ba?”

She opens Nadine’s bag and smiles at the plethora of organizers Nadine has inside her purse and she opens up the white pouch which she knows to be her first aid emergency kit, including breath sprays, alcohol and wipes.

She takes the pouch and opens it, but a piece of tissue flurries out of the pouch and into the ground.

Humming to herself she plunges her hand inside the pouch to hold it while she bends to pick up the tissue and touches something sticky inside. Quirking her brows she abandons her tissue recovery mission and looks inside the pouch for the source of the stickiness. Something must have spilled in Nadine’s pouch.

“Nadz may sticky ata na natapon sa pouch- OH MY GOD KADIRI KADIRI YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK FUCKING SHIT FUCKITY FUCK FUCK!”

Against her fingers was a knotted used up condom leaking in Nadine’s pouch and she was pretty sure she had some of James’ fluids against her hand. She let out another gruntled scream and she heard Nadine shuffling inside the stall

“Bakit, bakit?” Nadine came out of the stall in a hurry and Yassi shrieked and shoved the pouch at her and took her hand under running water, her gag reflex being activated at the thought of James’ semen against her hands and she glared at Nadine.

Nadine opens her pouch, sees the condom and bursts out laughing. 

“Putang ina niyo, gago ang haliparot niyo hindi mo man lang tinapon sa basurahan, fuck Nadine.”

“Mahirap na baka may pumulot pa.”

“Puta saan niyo nagawa yan magkakasama tayo all the time.”

“Yassi, you don’t want to know.”

“Hindi naman kayo nawala ah, the only time na sabay kayong nawala is when kinuha ni Jaye yung cards sa car… YUCK NADINE! I GET INSIDE YOUR CAR, I SIT IN THE BACK! YOU’VE BEEN FUCKING ALL THIS TIME THERE?”

Nadine winked saucily at her and handed her the bottle of breath spray.

“James is very good in tight spaces. Very good, if you know what I mean.”

Yassi shrieks again and keeps her hand under water before pumping a generous amount of soap from the dispenser into her hand.

“Haliparot niyo.”

Nadine winks cheekily at her and she laughs helplessly, somehow finding their bunny fucking behavior really cute.

Liza and Quen

“Did you have fun?”

“Yeah, it was cool, getting to see them, even though I’m really sleepy now… Quen?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m pretty sure that’s James and Nadine.”

He turns to look at the direction Liza was pointing at and sees James and Nadine entering a janitor’s closet near the dressing rooms, with Nadine biting her lip and tugging James by the shirt front.

He laughs as Liza flushes beside him giggling behind her hand.

“Kaya nahuhuli tong dalawang ito eh. What do we do?”

Liza turns to him and shakes her head.

“We have to help them then… I honestly don’t want Kathryn lording the fact that she made you famous over my head again when Naddie’s not there.”

“So… as usual, I guard the hall, you make the people stop coming here?”

“Yep. I don’t even want to guard the hall again. The sounds they make.”

They hear Nadine’s strangled moan of James’ name and Liza immediately turned on her heel and walked away.

“Good luck Quen!”

He takes out his ear pods and blasts his ears at full volume. This was not the first time he helped them after all.