tag!mass effect

Okay but consider:

Movie night. Kallo sneaks Scott on board the Tempest with 80 water guns and about a thousand water balloons while everyone else is distracted by the vid.

Scott proceeds to ambush Sara and the ship goes insane.

Sara grabbed two pistol-waterguns. She spends most of the fight flipping and jumping around the Cargo Bay, with Liam screaming after her, “Not everyone is a fucking ninja!” Scott, to no one’s surprise, primarily aims for her.

Drack found himself a shotgun. Two, actually, but he’s keeping one in reserve. He doesn’t take cover, no he’s charging everyone with a big-ass grin on his face and so many water balloons his opponent needs a moment to recover. 

Peebee could be consistently found on top of the raised Nomad, with two rifles and no fear of the world. She slipped and fell once; the crew never lets her live it down.

Jaal is initially confused by this. At first he didn’t realize it was a game at all, until Suvi pulled him aside to explain. He takes up a sniper position, to which Sara aims at mercilessly. “I know your tricks, Darav! You can’t hide from me!” His laughter quickly becomes infectious.

Cora ends up getting many of the last laughs by using her biotics. She had fun warping people into the air, dropping them when she starts laughing too hard. Everyone is a little reluctant to aim for her.

Vetra tried to stay away from the water at first, but Drack shoved a gun into her hands and quite literally carried her out into the middle of the cargo hold. She very quickly realized the greatest reward was in the use of water balloons. 

Kallo took up shop by a bucket of balloons, around a corner where the crew honestly could not find him. They discover that day that Kallo Jath has amazing aim and an even better throwing arm.

Lexi remains off limits. She throws a few water balloons anyway; they know when they catch her giggling.

Liam was also more inclined to the Water Balloons, and he and Drack really got into it, with so many balloons flying across the hold the rest had to take a moment to hide from them.

Gil managed to find himself a pretty sweet mini-gun and had himself a good time ambushing the crew. He’s surprisingly stealthy, when he’s not throwing out sarcastic comments about people’s aim.

Suvi filmed the entire event. She was also considered off limits, but the crew noticed a significant amount of balloons hitting people in the back from her general direction. Video proof is later acquired; her laughter was constantly present.

By the end, water is running dry. Sara takes cover, coincidentally right next to Drack, to reload her guns. The two glance at each other, nod, and Suvi swears it was better than an Action Vid. They walk out to the center of the hold, a gun in each hand as if followed by epic music, the two against the world in their final stand.

Sara proceeds to hide behind Drack when everyone’s attention turns to them. And upon noticing, Drack drops to the ground so hard the floor shakes, and the crew drench Sara in an onslaught of water and balloons. She falls dramatically, screaming out with a raised fist “I will not be defeated!” 

The ship is soaked. The crew is soaked. But they all sit in the cargo hold and laugh, excitedly chatting away about their epic showdown and debating the winner (to which Sara claimed was hers; “Guys, I had a dramatic death and everything!”), gaining memories that they talk about for the rest of their lives.

  • Ryder: *scanning Vetra*
  • Vetra: Ryder... what are you doing?
  • Ryder: SAM said there was high levels of heat coming from an unknown source around here.
  • Vetra: What?
  • Ryder: Dammit, I meant SAM said there was something hot in the vicinity.
  • Vetra: Umm?
  • Ryder: VETRA I THINK YOU'RE CUTE.
  • Vetra: Ryder? Ryder where are you going?
  • Ryder: *Pushing Peebee aside to get to the escape pods* Nowhere, just gotta launch myself into this system's sun real quick. Goodbye!