bruises on your body ached dully as you adjusted your position on the bed. Once
again you were at the receiving end of one of his alcohol induced rages.
He being the man that some called your father but that you no longer
did. Not since your mother left him for someone else and he started directing
all his feelings of anger and inadequacy at you. Never mind that you were
abandoned too, all he saw in you was a scapegoat to place all the blame on so
he wouldn’t have to face himself.
He constantly compared you to other people ever since you were an innocent and
faultless little child. He yelled at you and beat you up for not being good
enough, for not being smart enough, for not being pretty enough, and who should
be the shining example that you were supposed to live up to? The one person you
got the most grief for not being more like? It was Taehyung himself.
You went through hell because of him, because he couldn’t just be a normal guy
who liked drinking and fucking around. No, he had to be Mr. Perfect, and the
more perfect he got, the harsher your abuse became.
You’ve hated him for so long. Every day you fantasized about getting your
revenge on him. You daydreamed about bringing the golden boy to his knees and
ruining his life, but these remained just fantasies, mental devices designed to
get you through the day, until the golden boy started showing an interest in
you. He played himself right into your hands and you couldn’t be blamed for
seizing the opportunity.
Moans wafted towards you from your phone. One the screen you could see a guy
lying down on a bed with his shirt pulled up and his pants around his thighs.
His hand was moving almost imperceptibly over his dick.
“___, please, I need to cum, please.” Taehyung’s voice was strained. You
glanced at the time and saw that the video call was closing in on an hour
“You’ll cum when I say you can. Remember, stop touching yourself when you get
too close. You better not pull any tricks.” You said sternly. It was 3:27 in
the morning. You had called him an hour ago knowing that you had a very
important test tomorrow, but also knowing that he wouldn’t dare ignore your
You watched the hands of the top student, the same hands that he used to ace
tests and accept academic awards, move to the chorus of his moans that ended in
a mewl as he pulled his hand off of himself, his stomach convulsing as he tried
to fight off the orgasm he craved. You could see how close he was, his cock
that rested on his stomach left a clear fluid where the tip touched the skin.
This must be torture for him, and yet the second he took his hand off his cock,
he pulled up his shirt that had inched down from all his thrashing and played
with the exposed nipples for you.
“You’re such a good boy.” You cooed. He really was. He always did everything
you asked of him and more, and that would be his downfall.
You ran your eyes over the part of Taehyung’s body that was exposed to your
eyes and captured by the camera. You could almost feel the warmth radiating to
you from his pretty sun-kissed skin, the skin you had kissed and caressed more
devoutly than a pagan kisses his stone idol. He was pretty all over. If you
weren’t doing this for revenge, you would probably still have had him as your
pet. He was too pretty to pass up.
“Where is your pussy, puppy?” You chirped and he sucked in a breath. His
‘pussy’ is the name you gave to the transparent silicone stroker you gave him.
It was a cheap toy and you rarely allowed him to use it, but he loved it so
much. It was the only tight thing, besides the times you felt charitable enough
to deepthroat him, that he got to feel around his cock. The camera jumped
around as Taehyung moved to go get the toy. When he was back, he showed it to
you and waited impatiently for your next instruction.
“Well, what are you waiting around for?
Lube it up and use it.”
The moment the toy slipped around his cock, his body eased up completely like
an ex-smoker who was taking his first drag in decades, before he started moving
it over himself and tensed up again, the muscles in his arm flexing as he went
“No, don’t do it like that. It’s a pussy, you have to thrust up into it.” You
had specifically chosen a transparent toy for these purposes, you wanted to
still be able to see Taehyung’s dick even while he used it. He obeyed, ass lifting off the bed to welcome
the toy’s tight and wet embrace. His bed squeaked under him but he was too far
gone to worry about anyone hearing him.
Seeing him fuck the toy like that made you envious. When you had first took him
in, his moves were shy and sloppy, but you’ve since put him through enough for
him to know exactly what he liked and how he wanted it, and your hungry eyes
watching him sent signals to your pussy to contract around the phantom cock you
were imagining pounding into it to the pace of Taehyung’s thrusts.
This little session was intended as
torture for him, so why were you getting affected as well?
“Stop,” You ordered the squirming boy.
“But I’m not that close yet. I can control it.” Oh, he definitely was close. He
just wanted a few more moments of pleasure even if he wasn’t going to disobey
you and cum without your permission.
“I don’t remember asking for your input. Move the camera closer to your cock, I
wanna see all the precum you have for me.”
He moved the camera downwards until all you could was the engorged head of his
cock bulging out from the open end of the toy, another quality you have
carefully chosen, loving the sight of his perfectly shaped head. The amount of
precum that had spilled out didn’t disappoint you, and Taehyung touched it with
his finger then pulled them back, showing you the sticky strings it made.
“Good boy,” You praised. “That’s enough for today, put the toy away and go to
“G-go to sleep? But I didn’t cum yet.”
“I can’t go to sleep like this!” He protested hotly but then remembered who he
was talking to and said much more meekly, “We have a test tomorrow, I won’t be
able to concentrate like this.”
“Are you questioning my judgement?”
“No, god, no!”
“Are you saying I don’t know how to take care of my pet?”
“No, you always treat me so well.” The way
he said that, the sincerity in his voice, had you almost believing him. If only
you didn’t know how untrue that was.
“I may be your dom but that doesn’t mean I’m forcing you to stay with me. If
you think I affect your studies negatively, you’re more than welcome to leave.”
That wasn’t true as well. You only said that because you knew he would never do
And just like you had predicted…“No, it’s fine. It’s more than fine. After all,
you know best.” He backed down.
You had to add something in; if you kept on being this aggressive he might
start suspecting your intentions. “You’re smart, puppy, everyone knows that,
but I want to know just how focused you can be. If you can refrain from
touching yourself tonight and still go on tomorrow and ace that test, I will
give you something you really, really want.”
What was the thing that Taehyung wanted so bad he was willing to jeopardize his
perfect academic record? Sex with you. You’d never allowed it to him before…
and you weren’t going to allow it to him ever, but he didn’t need to know that.
You let him believe that if he obeyed you, he’d finally have you completely, so
he wouldn’t think about your real intentions of undermining him. It didn’t
matter what he thought you’d give him, he would fail anyway. Taehyung always
had to get a full night of sleep before any exam he took, and you disturbed
that. Additionally, you made him painfully hard and left him high and dry, and
that ought to really mess him up.
Here’s a few things that helped me stay somewhat motivated aka:
“mate, teach me how to give a shit about my studies”
1. Start small.
Sometimes, its just a matter of momentum. Start with a small task for the day. Something that can be completed in 10-20 minutes. Knock off the easiest things on your list of things to do. That way, even if your arvo falls into an endless pit of procrastination, you’
2. Target your study method.
I think one of the strongest demotivators was studying for long hours and then failing to get the results I wanted. On my lowest days my thought process would be something along the lines of, “what’s the point of studying this - heck, I’ll just do as poorly as last time.”
Study the same shit but in a different way. Whether that be writing notecards, finding videos online, group study, drawing up some mindmaps, screaming it at the mirror.
4. Look for inspirational shit
Whether it be something related to your field of study or not. It might be as simple as going on a youtube spiral on an aspect of your field of study, or finding an aspirational figure.
If you’re the type that responds to motivational quotes - great! Print out great A3 sizes of motivational quotes and plaster them all over your study space.
Personally, I respond better to the the dry humour sarcastic motivation. In that respect, #reallawblr and @lawschoolruinedme were very much my sources of inspiration.
TL;DR find what inspires you.
5. Fuck it all
Look, sometimes you need a break from studying in order to get back into studying. Kinda like those long term old-couple relationships you see in tv soap operas where the biggest plot point of the season is “oh, I’m so bored of my long term partner, how will I ever keep this relationship alive!” (bad analogy, but i feel like this is a good time to admit that I’m running on 2 hours sleep here).
Remind yourself of who you are outside of your school/university life. You are much much more than the sum of your academic achievements.
….to be frank, I found that I needed to take a small break from studying in order to be motivated ‘to’ study. That includes pursuing interests outside my academic life - catching up with friends, tv shows, heck even doing physical exercise.
Heck, you might even find a new hobby! I got into hockey due to a procrastination spiral. 4 months on and I’m a frickin’ hockey nerd. And i live in Australia, where there’s hardly any ice/snow to speak of.
And that may mean stop trying so hard to find motivation. Because that may be exhausting. While I know many people turn to studyblr as a source of motivation, I’ll admit there was a long period where I just had to avoid studyblr. Because it was draining to come home to posts about pens/study/stationery/TIPSFORA4.0GPA or whatever. After a 10 hour stint of study, the last thing I wanted to do was to spend my free time talking about studying lmfao.
My ramblings aside, here’s a list of ‘targeted’ tips that may help with those motivation levels!!