taco salad bowls

5

Steak Bowl with Roasted Corn Salad 

This “recipe” is not necessarily a recipe because this was something I threw together for dinner. I marinated beef stir-fry strips in my favorite go-to seasoning blend (granulated garlic, granulated onion, smoked + hot paprika, kosher salt, and black pepper + olive oil) for a few minutes and cooked until medium rare in a cast iron pan. Chopped up two medium sized tomatoes from the vine along with one whole avocado, “roasted” some sweet corn on the stove and tossed these together olive oil, sea salt, pepper, lime juice, and cilantro. Assembled my bowl and topped with shredded cheddar cheese and a dollop of Greek yogurt. Simple, healthy, quick and delicious. 

Why does everyone talk about life being fleeting, as if that somehow makes it a waste of time? Yeah, life is fleeting. You know what else is fleeting? A four pound taco salad burrito bowl with sour cream. Life is a delicious melee of beef and cheese in an edible cornmeal crust and death is the fifteen hour pain coma that comes after. Watch me rise again motherfucker

TacoBell Story

Alright, so to start I should say that this story is about the worst customer I have ever served.

I’m order taking for the drive thru window tonight, we’re running a 56 second window (which means from the time they pull up to the order screen to the time they pull away with their food is 56 seconds; our goal was a 75 second window), and this demon woman from the pits of hell pulls up to the window.

I give my customary “Hi, how are you doing tonight?” to which she replies at the LOUDEST FUCKING VOLUME (so loud that I had to remove my headset and hold it approximately a foot from my ear and still hear her as though she was standing next to me talking in a slightly-louder-than-inside voice):

“YEAH, I ORDERED A SALAD FROM YOU GUYS ABOUT A WEEK AGO AND IT DIDN’T HAVING ANYTHING ON IT HARDLY AT ALL. THERE WAS A SOLID TWO INCHES BETWEEN THE TOP OF THE SALAD AND THE LID THAT GOES ON THE BOWL, AND THERE WERE HARDLY ANY GREENS IN THERE AT ALL, AND WE’RE VEGETARIANS SO WE CAN’T HAVE MEAT AND WE JUST NEED A LOT OF GREENS ON OUR SALAD AND—”

That continued for a while until she paused to take a breath and I interrupted with an “I’m so sorry ma’am, would you like another salad tonight or maybe a cantina veggie bowl, and I can make sure that they have appropriate amounts of food in them personally?”

No. Nope. SHE JUST KEPT FUCKING GOING.

After about 7 minutes of her repeating “the worst salad I’ve ever had” and “We’re vegetarians, you see” and “we can’t eat meat” I finally just turned off my microphone and got my manager Becca to take over the order. 

But I wasn’t about to give my headset away (neither were the other 4 people wearing headsets at this point, starring at me and Becca unbelieving as to the sheer VOLUME of this woman), and was actually happily sharing the blast radius with 3 other coworkers that didn’t have headsets on.

Becca tells the woman that she can make a salad personally that has extra greens for the regular price because at this point she’s just trying to get these fucking people moving because the drive thru line is growing, and so she finally gets the lady to agree to have the fiesta taco salad and cantina bowl ingredients listed off to her, and this is where everyone fucking loses it okay.

Becca: “The cantina bowl comes with romaine lettuce, pica de gallo which is a tomato sauce, gu-”

Demon spawn: “WHAT?? WHAT?? TOMATOES? NO, I CAN’T HAVE ANY DAMN TOMATOES, I’M VEGETARIAN.”

*dead silence in the store*

Becca: “You…can’t have tomatoes…because you’re vegetarian?”

Demon spawn: “YES!”

~amazed and confused laughter intermission~

FINALLY, we get her to accept a cantina veggie bowl with no tomatoes, she pulls forward, we all shake off the laughter, and the next person pulls up and orders, and before I can even start talking I hear: “Oh, you poor child, I could hear that woman yelling from two cars back; I’ll make this real quick and simple for ya, just a crunchy taco and a small pepsi.”

This lady. Was so fucking loud. The woman could hear her. In her car. Two cars behind her. With the windows shut. 

Amazing.

NOT ONLY THAT THOUGH, OH NO. 

Remember how I said we were running a 56 seconds window?

Yeah, well, that woman spent SO LONG at the order screen just yelling and complaining, that when she pulled away, our time shot up to a 122. 

A HUNDRED AND TWENTY-TWO.

Me and my register operator did get a $2 tip each from the nice lady behind the demon spawn, so that was nice of her. 

All in all, weirdest and longest night ever.

3

Late night meal prep!

  • 4 servings of an egg scramble (egg/egg whites, veggies, turkey, and a little bit of cheese)… And Taco Bell sauce! 
  • 2 salad bowls with a spring mix, spinach, green pepper, carrots, snap peas, and broccoli for Lean Cuisine salads.
  • Sliced and rinsed berries. 
  • Grapes clean and ready to go.

I also chopped and rinsed the rest of my produce so it’s easier to eat later. Everything, including cleaning up, took just over an hour.