taco bell fire sauce

A real actual conversation at Taco Bell.
  • Ava: Can I get a number 6?
  • Taco Bell Guy: A number 9?
  • Ava: No, number 6.
  • Taco Bell Guy: -and what would you like to drink?
  • Ava: Beef. I mean rootbeer!
  • Taco Bell Guy: Haha, I've asked for that drink before too.
  • Me: [whispers] Gaaaay.
  • Taco Bell Guy: Would you like any hot sauce?
  • Ava: Hottest you got.
  • Taco Bell Guy: Well I don't fit in the bag, but I can give you the fire sauce.
Taco salad - 96 cal

Ingredients:
2 cups salad
¼ cup canned beans
1 tbsp salsa
½ oz fat free cheese
1 packet Taco Bell fire sauce

Directions:
Combine and serve

Signs at Taco Bell

Aries: covers everything in the fire sauce

Taurus: orders everything off the menu

Gemini: eats a whole giant burrito in 5 minutes

Cancer: hesitantly takes a bite of food but loves it

Leo: takes an Instagram-worthy pic of their baja blast

Virgo: refuses to eat any of the food

Libra: gets 10 dorito tacos and eats them all

Scorpio: slips fire sauce into pisces’ burrito

Sagittarius: only needs the pink starburst freeze to be happy

Capricorn: goes at happy hour for $1 freezes

Aquarius: feasts on the cinnabons the whole time

Pisces: turns bright red and cries because of the hot sauce

So my sister and I decided to make soft pretzels for the first time and every time we bake our moms shitty boyfriend always say “are you making it in Cayanne” like wtf we make desserts.

So my little sister decided to go all MAD SCIENTIST AND MAKE THE SPICYEST SHIT EVER CREATED ON THE EARTH IT MOVES FROM YOU TOUNG DOWN TO YOUR STOMACH

every pepper in the house so like 6-7, concentrated chili habanero, fire Taco Bell sauce (old packet) and three drops of super spicy mustard
YOU DONT FUCKING UNDERSTAND I SMELLED IT AND MY EYES STARTED WATERING SO MY SISTER COULDNT TAKE THE FUCKING SUSPENSE SO SHE GOT A FONDU FORK JUST GOT THE TIP OF THE FORK IN THE SAICE PUT IT ON HER TUNG AND IN FIVE FUCKTUPPLED SECONDS SHE SCREAMS IN AGONY AND STARTS CHUGGING A CONTAINER OF HONEY (she doesn’t drink milk) I FALL TO THE FLOOR AND START CRYING I CANT WAIT FOR THE ASSHOLE TO EAT A SOFT PRETZEL FILLED WITH THAT SHIT