tabloid magazine

In my dream last night, there was a tabloid magazine that could be found basically anywhere titled “SHIT YOURSELF?!” with a smugly grinning Hilary Clinton on the cover and the inside was filled with unflattering nudes of Richard Nixon and it became a source of a major media controversy. Major conservatives were conflicted as to whether or not it should be censored because if they censored it then that would be “PC Culture”. but if they didn’t they would have to see Nixon’s dick everywhere,
The scandal became known as “Shityourselfgate” and it basically lead to the end of the Republican Party as we know it

5

Some tabloid headlines of Paul Bernardo and Karla Homolka

Paul was convicted in the murders of Kristen French and Leslie Mahaffy on September 1st, 1995. He was sentenced to life in prison with no parole for the first 25 years. He was also classified as a dangerous offender which means he most likely will never be released from prison at all.

Karla was given a plea bargain and she spent 12 years in prison, and was released on July 4th, 2005. She was given a list of conditions she had to abide by, and she risked going back to prison if she didn’t follow those conditions. 

the stepladder thing is great but there are a lot of other great running jokes in ace attorney:

  • phoenix not knowing the names of any plants aside from tulips and sunflowers
  • maya/trucy trying to steal things and bring them back to the office
  • edgeworth being unable to get his witnesses to state their name
  • multiple people, on different occasions, failing to see critical evidence because they didn’t look at the other side of a piece of paper
  • “Anyone could wear that ______! Even me!”
  • edgeworth glaring at things
  • phoenix/apollo’s obsession with their hair
  • in the third game, phoenix cleaning the toilet
  • in the first game, gumshoe never remembering phoenix’s name
  • edgeworth being a super steel samurai fan
  • yelling ‘objection!’ in everyday, non courtroom situations
  • franziska referring to everyone by their full name, all the time
  • phoenix being super into gossip and tabloid magazines
Trouble in Canada // 2

a/n: You all have been so patient and I know I’m a bit late (4 months late soz about that). Every single one of you have been so amazing with the support of this, and it blows my mind every time I get a notification that TiC got another note. And when I posted earlier today that I was posting it, I absolutely loved the response I got in my inbox.  It made my heart incredibly happy and with each message that came in, not gonna lie, i teared up a bit. You all have been so lovely and good sports (especially when i posted that fake TiC2 WHAT A TIME). So from the bottom of my heart, thank you for all the support. I have met some of the most incredible people through TiC and I cherish every single one of you. I feel so emotional posting this, but you all finally deserve the second part to probably the most angsty piece I have ever written (and will ever write omg).  So, please enjoy the second and final installment to Trouble in Canada :)

THANK YA TO MY LOVELY @whitechocolateperfection for reading over this and giving me confidence :) you’re the best and i love you a whole lot 

Trouble in Canada (1)  |  Masterlist

Your name: submit What is this?

“We need to talk,”

        Those four words held a weight so heavy that you lost your grip on your tea.  Your mug dropped to the floor, shattering in pieces and tea spilling all over the hardwood floor.  You immediately went to pick up the broken pieces.  On your knees, you picked up the shards of glass as Shawn was stood in the same exact position; not moving a single bone in his body to help you.

        Collecting all the tiny shards in your hand you swiftly moved past Shawn to go throw the pieces out in the kitchen.  You opened the trash bin, and right as you were about to throw out the broken mug, Shawn’s voice interrupted your movements, “Is that the mug I got you?  The one from our first Valentine’s day together?”

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kara and lena ate at fucking cATCO. THE PLACE WHERE ALL THE JOURNALISTS AND TABLOID AND MAGAZINE WRITERS ARE. THE PEOPLE WHO ALSO HAVE PROFESSIONAL PHOTOGRAPHERS. THE PLACE THAT IS A WORLD WIDE MEDIA CONGLOMERATE. WHERE THEY WERE FLIRTING. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY HEADLINES ARE GOING TO BE UP THAT DAY AND HOW MANY PHOTOS THERE ARE AT THE VERY LEAST SOMEONE IS GOING TO TAKE A PHOTO OF THE TWO OF THEM SMILING AND GRINNING AT EACH OTHER AND MAYBE HUGGING AND PUT IT ON CATCO’S INSTAGRAM LIKE THEY’RE RESPECTFUL IN THAT THEY DON’T INTERRUPT AND DON’T YELL OUT ANY QUESTIONS OR USE FLASH BC THEY LIKE KARA AND RESPECT HER BUT THIS IS THEIR LITERAL JOB

AND THEN ALSO THIS IS ON WHO KNOWS HOW MANY PEOPLE’S SNAPCHAT stoRY BC IN THIS DAY AND AGE EVERYONE WANTS FOLLOWERS AND HITS AND GUESS WHAT WOULD DRIVE UP HITS I’M SAYING EVERY SINGLE PERSON IN NATIONAL CITY AND CATCO (ESP WHERE KARA INTRODUCED MONOBOY AS HER COUSIN) THINKS KARA AND LENA ARE DATING

Lost My Way. (Tom Holland.)

Originally posted by takemespidey

Requested – No. This is like my comeback, I’m also sorry if it sucks ass.

Prompt – Famous actor Tom Holland has been in the film industry for years now after making it big as Spiderman and he loses himself along the way.

Warning – Douchebag!Tom. Angst. Fluff at the end.  

Words – 2,097.

Requests?

The flashing lights headed towards Tom’s direction as he stood along the red carpet with his hand around his costar’s waist. He looked in her direction and noticed the smile on her face was fake. Almost everyone has a fake smile around the paparazzi and it was rare to find someone actually enjoying it. There once was a time when Tom could genuinely smile in front of cameras but that time is long gone.

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While I love the narrative of VM being adored and respected as heroes, I also find it very likely and amusing that they become the prime topic of every tabloid magazine in the realm for the rest of their lifes.

Who DOESN’T want to know private details about the legendary Vox Machina?

Vex and Percy are basically William and Kate. They are the cover story 80% of the time and the favourite topic in Tal'dorei’s hair salons.

Everything from “True feelings or love potion? How the heir of Whitestone REALLY fell in love with a commoner” to “Lady Vex'ahlia’s fashion tricks: Ten ways to look like the Mistress of the Grey Hunt using only common feathers.” Also every time a De Rolo kid is born, a new printing record is broken.

And of course there’s plenty of rumors and conspiracy theories. Mostly because Scanlan absolutely loves to give wildly conflicting interviews about his own life and that of his friends.

Behind The Mask

Matt Murdock/ Reader

Originally posted by arabellawrites

Words: 1.570

Summary: So what if you have a crush on the vigilante Daredevil? It’s not like he knows you personally.

Request: Can I please request a Matt/reader where they are friends but she doesn’t know yet that Matt is Daredevil, and one day they start talking about DD and Foggy starts bugging her about “having a crush on the Devil”(and she doesn’t deny it). And later on, Matt makes a move as Daredevil and drops a hint or two of who he really is?? Thankyou :)

Tagging: @kwaiky

Requested by: @iamthemaskhewears

Author’s note: im glad to see that daredevil fans aint dead. did a slight twist to the prompt


You take a long hard look at the reported photo of the vigilante Daredevil elaborately leaping to a nearby building plastered on the front page of the newspaper. The identity of his true self is unknown and the mystery surrounding him makes you want to know more about this infamous vigilante.

“Really, Y/N? Again with the newspaper?” Foggy’s voice comes from behind, making you grin at what he might say next.

“Next thing I know, you have a shrine of Daredevil in your closet.” He places a mug of hot coffee on the coaster next to you.

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Look at this little sunbeam.

I See Stars in Your Eyes (Must be Painful)

This is for the amazing @ackerchou who has graced us with Season 2 Voltron Actor!AU headcannons and I LOVED THEM ALL. I’m writing dancing Lance and kiddie Coran and Allura next. Watch me. Pls check them out because I wanna write a fic for all of them. And because she is awesome and made me feel better on a day I felt bad. There’s aren’t many spoilers for season 2 in this fic but just in case it is tagged. I hope you enjoy it!

x.V.x

              Keith was slightly ashamed to admit that he hadn’t watched the original Voltron before trying out for a part in the new series. In fact, he sort of, kinda, had never even heard of Voltron before until his first day on set as a Galra stunt double. That is until there was a surprise visit from the original cast from the 80’s Voltron series.

              Keith was only slightly mortified that he was the only one who didn’t know who they were.

              Especially since he had thought that Akira was an older stunt double and he had nearly flipped Akira on his shoulder when the man surprised him.

              Even after all this, Lance still wouldn’t stop laughing.

              And of course he had a video of Keith nearly flipping over the original leader of Voltron who was at least twice Keith’s age (but damn did he still look good) and very well known in the world of Voltron. The video even had Keith apologizing over and over to an amused Akira, while everyone stood around staring.

              Keith would remember this next time Lance wanted something.

              Currently he was hanging back in the background while the old cast of Voltron took a tour of the new set to see how far Voltron had come. There was awe and admiration thrown left and right from both the cast of the 80s and the cast of the 2010s. It was a strange sight to see the different cast members who played the paladins together, each very different in their own way and yet so perfect for each character they played.

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Grocery shopping with MONSTA X

AN: This was so fun to do! I hope you guys enjoy it just as much as I did!


Shownu

  • Grabs 6 packs of 18 toilet paper rolls, has to get a separate cart to put them in
  • “They’re non-perishable so might as well stock up. Plus they’re on sale”
  • Gets approached by a small old lady who asks him to get something from the highest shelf
  • She says “thank you! what a handsome, kind, young man!” while she squeezes his bicep
  • He wiggles his eyebrows at you “I think she likes me~” You roll your eyes
  • Picks up 2 bottles of milk and starts doing bicep curls with them

Originally posted by sarangdongie

Wonho

  • Spends 20 minutes in the ramen aisle
  • Considers nutritional information when buying food products
  • Tries to make conversation with the cashier, and genuinely asks how they’re doing
  • Cashier is too stunned by how good-looking he is, mutters a flustered “okay” and continues bagging the groceries
  • Picks up one of the tabloid magazines at the counter and takes a genuine interest in it
  • “Did you know that Kelly Clarkson lost 15 pounds in two weeks by just drinking coconut water and eating kiwi fruit?”

Originally posted by wonho-be-mine

Minhyuk

  • Waves and makes faces at kids in shopping carts
  • Hears his current favorite song playing over the speakers and dabs
  • Random back hugs while you try and choose products
  • You send him to get dishwashing soap. He’s gone for 2 minutes, comes back, gives you a hug and yells “I missed you!”
  • Stops while you’re walking past the pet supplies and just blurts out “we should get a dog”
  • Attempts to carry all the bags to the car by himself

Originally posted by dinojaeee

Kihyun

  • Considers price when buying food products
  • Gets excited when he sees cleaning products
  • Sees an aisle with lots of colorful packaging, arranged in an aesthetically pleasing way and says “wait wait wait, hang on”
  • you guys stand at the end of the aisle while he gets his phone out and takes multiple shots of the aisle
  • you’re about to pay when he suddenly yells “WAIT”. You and the cashier look at him, stunned
  • he takes something out of his wallet - “I have a loyalty card”

Originally posted by gifsmonstax

Hyungwon

  • Grabs a crap-ton of Cheetos
  • Has a bunch of girls gawk at him while he chooses which cereal to buy 
  • On his phone for some of the time and follows you by holding onto the cart
  • Unaware that you have stopped at the sanitary items aisle and stands with you in front of the products, still on his phone
  • Finally looks up, sees what you’re looking at, lets out a strangled “oh my god”, and turns away with his hand over his eyes
  • “Hyungwon, you have to learn about this - one day you’re gonna have to buy these for me, all by yourself” “OH MY GOD”

Originally posted by daehyunssexface

Jooheon

  • Beatboxes to the music playing in the supermarket
  • Picks up random things from the aisles, reads their labels in funny voices and puts them back 
  • Serial shopping cart surfer
  • Is oddly serious when it comes to yogurt drinks
  • “Should we get eight 70 ml bottles for $4.50 or one 50 ml bottle for $4? Babe, can you get your calculator out?
  • Finishes all the free samples on the plate while the employee explains the product to you

Originally posted by wonhosoks

Changkyun

  • Makes puns while you’re in the fresh produce section
  • “If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.”
  • “If you were a fruit, you’d be a fine-apple.”
  • “Babe. Stop.” But he doesn’t.
  • Notices that you start shivering in the frozen items section, takes his jacket off and gives it to you
  • When paying: “Babe, babe! Quick! Get on the conveyor belt!” ??? “Because I’m gonna buy you!  ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)”

Originally posted by narika-a

Team Trophy Husband Jack

I honestly now want the fic where Jack might be an extremely successful hockey player, etc, but for the rest of the world who don’t follow NHL and sport news, he’s Eric Bittle’s trophy husband.

Eric Bittle, who has his own Cooking Show, a Baking Contest Reality TV spin off, a chain of bakeries expanding all over the country, a series of books, and is a guest editor in some cooking magazines.

He’s Beyonce’s go to guy for Blue Ivy’s birthday cakes.

So yeah, his husband married him for the money. Never mind that they are college sweethearts and they married before Bitty had his big break.

And Bitty married him for his good looks. I mean Jack looks like a model, has that amazing bod and booty and is pretty much silent anytime they are in front of the cameras, it is clear he’s the classic dumb jock stereotype.

Bitty always gets extremely offended by that, Jack thinks it’s hilarious. He might play it up sometimes just to get out of interviews.

Jack always endlessly amused that the paparazzi that follow them are there for Bitty. They don’t particularly care about Jack. Their photos appear in the magazines as “Eric Bittle and husband.”

Jack has managed his life long dream of achieving invisibility in the media by marrying somebody who overshadows him. It is everything he ever wanted. He brags about it to anybody who will listen.

Bitty remains annoyed.

Once they are home, after going to a premiere of something/red carpet event.

“You have won 3 Stanley Cups! One two weeks ago! Why don’t they ask you about that? They only asked you what you were wearing!”

“Hugo Boss” Jack says without missing a bit.

“You could try not to make it so easy for them.”

“Fall Collection.”

“You are enjoying this too much.”

“Besides Bitty, you ordered a Pumpkin Spice drink today and went to do your own grocery shopping, how could I compare to that?”

“Jack this isn’t funny! I’m proud of you and I want them to know that.”

“I’m proud of you too, I mean, look at you walking down the street with sunglasses on.”

“I hate you.”

“Oh look, you are cheating on me with Shitty, Ransom, and Chowder… oh, also with Lardo? Bitty, I could forgive the first three, but not Lardo!”

“That’s it, you cannot buy anymore tabloids.”

“But Bitty! This magazine says we are getting a divorce! If I hadn’t bought the magazine, I wouldn’t have known to start packing my bags. Also, I apparently didn’t sign any prenup, so you owe me a lot of money.”

“I might leave you for Lardo after all.”