So I see a lot of ppl saying tony can understand groot (and I truly love the idea of that) but what if he can't? Bc I don't think tony would just calmly accept that. I think he would try to make some kind of tablet/interface thing that groot can use. Probably not something too advanced bc I don't think groot would understand but he would keep trying.
Sorry it took me so long to get to this I wanted to see GotG2 before writing for it.
The Guardians had appeared in Tony’s life, unexpectedly. And by unexpectedly Tony means that they crash landed their space ship on his roof.
It wasn’t a crash landing, trust me, I’ve crash landed before.
Shut up Quill you’re ruining my narration. Anyways, the Guardians arrived in their janky crash landed space ship to the sound of Spirit in the Sky. Because, they’re dramatic assholes.
“So this is where Peter is from?” A bulky man says, voice slightly louder than necessary. The strange group looks around. Tony seizes up the tattooed stranger.
“I see you have your own Thor.” Tony says gesturing towards the loud alien as he takes in the group. There seems to be a small tree riding the the green woman’s shoulder, and a raccoon with a laser gun. At this point he’s seen weirder.
“I am Groot.” The tree says, Tony raises an eyebrow when the raccoon nods.
“My name is Drax, I do not know this Thor.” Drax says, crossing his arms over his chest. The woman shakes her head at Tony when he opens his mouth to explain.
“Whatever, who’s are you guys? I mean this sounds like the set up for a bad joke a muscle head, a tree, and a raccoon walk off of a space ship.” Tony says, gesturing to the group. There’s a soft noise as the raccoon levels a gun at Tony’s head and he closes the face plate before the blast goes off.
“I do not recommend calling him a raccoon.” The human looking one yells after him. “He goes by Rocket.”
“Also we’re the Guardians of the Galaxy, I’m Gamora and this asshole is Starlord.” The green woman pitches in.
“You can call me Peter.” He holds out a hand, Tony takes it smiling.
“Well, my team is known as The Avengers, but you can call me Tony.” Tony says, Drax beams at him, dropping a heavy hand on Tony’s shoulder.
“That is adorable.” Drax informs him, Peter smiles apologetically at Tony.
“I am Groot.” The tree, presumably named Groot says. Rocket looks over at them.
“Yeah Peter is flirting with that Terran.” Rocket replies, Tony’s interest is immediately piqued.
“Is that a language?” He asks, ignoring Peter’s blush. The tree nods.
“I am Groot.” He says, Tony holds a hand out to him.
“I can try and make a translator for you if you’d like.” He offers. Groot beams at him.
“It won’t work. I tried.” Rocket says, Tony bristles at the challenge. “You can try of course just don’t get disappointed when it fails.” Tony scowls at him.
“Watch me. Groot, do you want to come meet my bots?” Tony offers, gesturing to the elevator. “The rest of you are welcome to come.”
“I am Groot.” Groot says, hopping onto Tony’s shoulder. The others follow them into the elevator. They arrive in the lab to be greeted by a group of over excited robots.
“Dum-E calm down.” Tony says, patting the robots arm soothingly.
“I am Groot.” Groot says, waving at the robot. Dum-E beeps excitedly in response reaching for the little tree. Tony is ready to chastise the robot when Groot climbs into his grip, the two going back and forth.
“Looks like one logarithm I wrote can understand Groot.” Tony smirks at Rocket, who glares angrily at him in response. “Give me and Dum-E a few days and I should have a basic translator working.”
“I am Groot.” You shut the fuck up, asshole. The translator says, Groot shoving at Drax’s shoulder. Drax just laughs at the little tree.
“Wow, he really does curse a lot.” Peter says, frowning at him.
“I told you, it’s a problem!” Rocket throws up his hands and storms off. He’s been testy since Tony finished his translator.
Fuck you Stark I am not testy.
Stop ruining my narration, you guys are the actual worse.
“I am Groot.” Fuck yeah I curse. Got a problem with that Starbitch? Groot demands. Peter raises his hands in concession. “I am Groot.” You try being alive as long as I have and only being understood by one person. It’s frustrating as all fuck.
“Point.” Peter cedes.
Anyways, the point of this story is that Tony Stark is the best at science, and Rocket Raccoon can bite his ass.
And the other point of this story is fuck you Stark.