table faces

I have more than a little guilt about all the FCC messages on my dash. I’m just. 2017 has been a lot and I have already more phone calls this year than in the rest of my adult life, and I’m tired. Some days you just do not have any fucking spoons. I’m exhausted.

Sorry. Someone out there who can, make that call for poor fucks like me who can’t hit the green button without wanting to crawl under a table and cry.

/face in hands

anonymous asked:

kyle: im gonna eat ur sandwich what are u gonna do about it cartman: (banging on the table red in the face crying) STOP STOP-

FEKJWAJRKDSLKJFLKJSDFLKJAD I LOVE THIS

so, the “pretending we’re married/together” trope is a great one but i think in chirrut and baze’s case, reversing it could end up in some of the funniest shenanigans ever

baze and chirrut, the most married couple to every marry - undercover and pretending they’re NOT married

maybe they’re trying to infiltrate the gang of an imperial stooge arms dealer on jedha, go in together and act as if they’ve never seen each other before, and bring down the operation from the inside. they’re working together because honestly, you need two people to do a job without even needing verbal communication, even when one of them is blind? you go to baze and chirrut

but asking them to act like strangers is impossible. they keep slipping and calling each other pet names. almost forgetting to sleep in separate bunks, and unable to sleep when they do so. freezing halfway through absent-minded displays of affection, before hamming it up and pushing each other away, “uhh what are you DOING” “GET OFF OF ME, YOU’RE NOT THAT IRRESISTIBLE” “SINCE WHEN!?”

having one of their normal arguments at a critical moment during an ambushed weapons drop when one of the marks roars in frustration, “would you two just FUCK and get it over with

without thinking chirrut says, “that never works when he’s in a mood like this” and there’s a pregnant moment’s silence. then their contractor arrives and baze has never been more glad for a firefight to kick off

they agree never to take another job like it again. too damn difficult

can you imagine kara going home as supergirl and she’s just so tired and lena’s there making dinner or something and she just mindlessly leans in for a kiss and lena kisses back and then 10 minutes later kara’s like f UCK

4

Pokémon CEO on The New Pokémon Game for Switch and the Future of the Franchise:

  • “With the Switch, we see it as a chance to create Pokémon that goes deeper and with a higher level of expression. As a result, that makes it an extremely important platform.”
  • “Right now we’re using 7 to 8 inch screens, but on a high-definition TV you can express a whole different world with graphics and sound.”
  • “Until now, games were made as one for one person, but now you can go home and play with everyone – so how do we tackle these themes, and how do we make sure it’s not complicated?”
  • “I can’t say that we’ll release accessories, but I’d like to think of that possibility.”
  • “Unlike smartphones, the Switch is not a game device that assumes that there’s constant network connectivity. So from our perspective, it’s really not that different from DS or 3DS in terms of connectivity.”

Ishihara also spoke at length about augmented reality, a technology that superimposes virtual characters and scenes onto real-world images. He said that this fits well with the Pokémon company’s vision of blending fantasy with reality, as Pokémon Go did as a location-based game.

  • “With current AR, even if you say Pikachu is there, no one really thinks that. But that reality is just one step away. For example, you’ll be able to find Pikachu, and it can sense this table and jump on it, and you can see its shadow on the table, and then it faces you and starts talking to you. We will see the birth of this reality that is another step up from the current Pokémon Go. And I’ve only mentioned the visual aspect, but you can add haptic and rumble technology to that.”
  • “Voice-activated assistants are increasing. Whether it is Google Home or Amazon or Apple Homepod, there are many of them and we could see these dialogue-based devices give birth of a new form of entertainment.”
  • “Switch is just one of the possible platforms. I think we will open up more possibilities from all these platforms. Playing in a more realistic way should be possible.”
Source: bloomberg.com
Baby girl

CEO!Ash - This is pure fucking filth alright

Words: 6.1k

“Miss y/n, what’s your input on this?”

You heard your colleague’s voice in the background. But you didn’t react to it. You were focused on something else. Rather someone else. Your boss, that was sitting on the other end of the table, twisting and twirling a pen between his long, slender fingers. He was completely staring at you, head cocked to one side in a rather smug attitude. He was young, not much older than you. Only by a year or two. It always amazed you how successful he was for his age, but with that charm - although he most of the time radiated arrogance… and that smile, his success did not surprise you.

You’d lie if you said you weren’t attracted to him. Hell, that man could have his way with you without you even questioning it, you wouldn’t mind at all. In fact, you wanted it. You wanted him to fuck you, and by judging the look he was giving you, you understood he knew that, too. What made your chest rise and your heartbeat increase, was the fact that he tugged on the collar of his shirt. Then, he gazed up at you again, and the look he was shooting you this time made you weak. He wanted it, too.

“Miss?” your colleague repeated.

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I have an idea a very bad idea but an idea nevertheless

Hear me out; Demon AU! Ohmtoonz. I have background story and everything but I’m 100% sure this will be a wip lol.

so Ohm is a demon and Cartoonz is a priest who is tired of his demon ass annoying him everyday 24/7. Ohm’s goal is to obtain Cartoonz soul but Cartoonz is like ‘Fuck no I’m not giving my soul to you, you creep’. Cartoonz is known as ‘Geezer’ because sometimes people catch him talking to himself but really he’s talking to Ohm.

Bonus:

A plot twist - Cartoonz is the king of hell but he found hell boring and decided to be mortal. It sucks he ends up being a priest but he tends to finds it funny that people think demons cant go into churches.

extra bonus: Ohm’s been flirting with the king of hell and Cartoonz finds it charming. 

my personal headcanon is that jonas finds out that isak had a crush on him when jonas asks him, slightly hurt, “why don’t you hang out at the skate park anymore?” while they’re having lunch in cafeteria and isak, shovelling food down, says “not my thing anymore man” and jonas pesters him a little about it, grumbling under his breath its-not-your-thing-anymore-cos-of-even, which isak hears and blurts out, over a mouthful of food “yo, i only ever went because of you, i don’t even like skateboarding” . a beat. and jonas’ eyes go wide, and isak’s eyes go wide and they stare at each other for a moment, and isak swallows the food with a gulp, and shakes his head wildly and jonas has a huge grin on his face and “I FUCKING KNEW IT!” and isak goes “nei nei nei nei nei nei”, and jonas gets up from his seat, rounds the table, takes his friend’s face in his hands roughly and plants a smacking kiss on isak’s forehead and laughs out loud, and never lets it go for the next 100 years, isak regrets everything from then on


In some kind of AU… 🍃


Queen Penny

Rewind the clock by a couple of decades and I was working as a team lead for an office supply store. This office supply store has a “copy center” where staff members would print, copy, and scan stuff for customers.

Enter “Penny”. Penny was a middle-aged woman who would come in every Friday smelling like wine, dressed somewhat elaborately, and who would make ridiculous demands on the copy center staff. Penny: crazy lady!

Penny’s weekly Friday afternoon visitations had been going on for a while before I ever became aware of her. She would come in with elaborate letters including photos, keepsakes, etc written to England’s Royal Family - various members from the Queen to Prince Charles to Fergie. She would make the copy staff photocopy the letters, demanding perfection to the point where she measured the margins to ensure the contents copied were in the exact center of the page. Then she would make the copy center staff package the letters and, when she did include something such as photos, inspect the packing to ensure the tape was perfectly even and pay the shipping to Buckingham Palace in London. She would frequently make the copy staff read the photocopied letters back to her. When they had initial refused to, she had called district management and complained so this request was honored whenever she asked.

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