taayyylor

So my acceptance to MassArt means next year I’ll be in Boston which means that the 12+ years of going to schools in the same boring town with the same boring people will finally come to an end. I’m completely ecstatic, but it’s odd to think that 12 years ago I was in first grade and now I’m getting ready to pack up my stuff and leave. It just feels strange because every year it’s been the same thing, but now in a few months, I won’t be going to school with the same people anymore It’s kind of exhilarating and terrifying. I’m completely happy to be getting out of Connecticut, but I do admit that I will miss the few close friends that I have. My best friend is staying here and I’m going away. I won’t be seeing him anymore or be able to have video game nights with him and I’m going to miss that. And I’m going to miss being able to just hang out with my friends after school or go on Starbucks dates randomly, like I won’t be able to do those things that I’ve been taking for granted. But college is going to be amazing and I’m so pumped to get to live in Boston. And I don’t really know what else to say to describe my excitement and nervousness but I’ll probably think of more as my high school career comes to a close and my college career gets closer to beginning. 

In an effort to get people to look
into each other’s eyes more,
and also to appease the mutes,
the government has decided
to allot each person exactly one hundred
and sixty-seven words, per day.

When the phone rings, I put it to my ear
without saying hello. In the restaurant
I point at chicken noodle soup.
I am adjusting well to the new way.

Late at night, I call my long distance lover,
proudly say I only used fifty-nine today.
I saved the rest for you.

When she doesn’t respond,
I know she’s used up all her words,
so I slowly whisper I love you
thirty-two and a third times.
After that, we just sit on the line
and listen to each other breathe.

—  The Quiet World by Jeffrey McDaniel 
Story time!

SO THE OTHER DAY ALEX AND I WERE LONGBOARDING IN MY NEIGHBORHOOD AND THERE’S THIS ONE SMALL HILL WE WERE JUST GOING DOWN AND THEN IT GOT FLAT AND WENT INTO A CUL DE SAC SO IT WAS LIKE PERFECT FOR LONGBOARDING. 

Anyways, we were going for another ride down the hill and Alex told me to go first because my board is faster and so I went and he followed behind a few seconds later. And I’m fairly new to longboarding (and kind of stupid and don’t wear a helmet but I usually don’t do things that are super dangerous because I’m not even a fan of hills I just like cruising and whatnot) so I’m going down the hill and I hear barking and my neighborhood has dogs so its literally no big deal AND THEN THE DOG FUCKING APPEARS AND STARTS CHASING AFTER ME AND I SWERVE TO THE LEFT (DOG’S ON MY RIGHT) AND TRY TO KEEP CONTROL WITHOUT FALLING OR HURTING THE DOG AND I’M GOING PRETTY FAST WHERE BAILING IS KIND OF DIFFICULT BUT THERE’S A FREAKING DOG CHASING ME SO I GET CLOSER TO THE CURB AND JUMP OFF AND LITERALLY HIT THE GROUND RUNNING AND THEN RIGHT AFTER I JUMP OFF THE DOG STOPS CHASING ME (ALEX HAD STOPPED BY THEN BECAUSE HE ASSUMED THE DOG WAS GONNA GO AFTER HIM NEXT SO HE DECIDED TO BAIL).

So I catch my breath and like thank the heavens I did not fall or hurt myself and I look over to see a freaking kid just standing there staring at me as the dog (his dog) walks back over to him. OKAY KID THANKS FOR TRYING TO STOP YOUR DOG.

Pep-Talk to Myself #58

It’s not that I don’t feel good enough, it’s just that I don’t feel like we’re compatible. I feel like we’re at different levels of love or like or whatever you want to call it. And I feel so useless without him and that’s weird and I don’t like it. Like I just want to be me again and not him or meandhim I just want to be me and I don’t know how to do that. But it’s okay to not know because I’m learning and I will be me again. Hopefully soon. And I won’t be so pathetic and silly.