t.w.o face

Bruce walks into the batcave, where Tim is sitting at the computer with Steph spinning on a chair next to him

Bruce: Hey, Tim, I need your help on a case 

Steph: C-A-S-E, case 

Bruce: What… What the heck was that 

Steph: T-H-A-T, that 

Tim: She’s practicing for a spelling bee 

Steph: B-E-E, bee 

Bruce: Um, okay? 

Steph: O-K-A-Y, okay

Bruce: Please stop 

Steph: N-O, no 

Bruce: *glares* 

Tim: Just ignore her, B. So what’s up? 

Steph: U-P, up 

Bruce: *still glaring* There was a body found by the woods, and it’s a known associate of Two Face 

Steph: T-W-O- 

Bruce: Stephanie! 

Steph: F-A-C-E, Two Face! 

Tim: *ignoring their bickering* What was the cause of death? 

Bruce: *hesitates, then looks at Steph and smiles evilly* You know, it was actually vivisepulture 

Steph: V-I-V-E… V-I-V-I-Z………… I HATE YOU!!! *stomps away* 

… 

Tim: Well, that was childish 

Bruce: She started it 

PTA Undertale
  • Linda, ranting: Ever since monsters came to the surface, this school has been overrun by them-
  • Sans, relaxed: there's like, six of us
  • Linda, still ranting: -the kids must be terrified-
  • Sans, still relaxed: they're fine with it, and love having us around
  • Linda: -and worst of all, ever since Frisk came to this school it's been nothing but missing classes and disruptive stimmin-
  • Sans, in Linda's face with empty sockets: w a n t t o r u n t h a t b y m e a g a i n , l i n d a ?
3

when ur followers are persistent as hELL like here u go, a total trash mammal, uglie kid, horrid meme, snapchat enthusiast. i also own mostly sweaters like im wearing a t-shirt in one picture omg. i also always tilt my head to the left bc i have nystagmus & tilting my head that way let’s me get to the null zone & my eyes shake a lot less omg im sorry if it’s weeeird ////// they/them pronouns please!

ask-crayon-the-homeless-artist  asked:

that photoset you did for Steph is outstanding!! it's so beautiful and full of so much life, and the colours are utterly gorgeous!! And the sentiment behind it is just such a heartwarming thing, you did an incredible job, well done! what a fantastic thing to have pop up on my dash!

blESS YOU SO MUCH ?? THIS IS SERIOUSLY SUCH A NICE MESSAGE/COMMENT FOR THAT THANK YOU SO  MUCH OH M Y G O D

2

W ELL

I APPARE NTLY HAVE 1000 FOLLOWERS

H ELLO SUNSHINE THE EARTH SAYS HELLO

Sassy Elide moments that will *hopefully* be in tog6
Featuring Flabbergasted and Annoyed Lorcan

-She’s holding a huge grudge okay who wouldn’t her Queen was taken like 8 seconds after they were Reunited
-Elide looks innocent but she’s saltier than the motherfucking Pasific Ocean
-it starts out when they’re on their way to Terassin after Ellywe, and Elide just glares so hard at him from across the deck of the boat. Aedion watches because it keeps him distracted from screaming at Lysandra or diving into the ocean to find Aelin.
-so one day Elide needs something and she gets up and begins to hobble cross the deck and Lorcan braces her leg. And she just. Sits down immediately. Wherever she is she just sits down like “I don’t need your fuckin help you shit” and he just Glares and takes the brace away.
-another day it happens again and she’s carrying food. She just fuckin plonks down in the middle of like, 4 men and they’re like ???? Weirdo. She’s v proud of herself.
-when they get to land she’s sat down randomly 37 times. Lorcan is desperate for her forgiveness. He’s also pissed because she’s being Childish.
-they freaking stink so much from being at sea for however long. So Elide marches determinedly with her limp alongside Aedion until they get to a clearing to set up camp and bathe in a creek.
-miss It’s Just a Body Elide Lochan immediately strip and jumps in the freezing lake and bathes as best she can
-when she gets out she wraps a blanket around herself and washes her clothes.
-lorcan waltzes up and begins undressing. Elide Tries Not To Look and continues washing her clothes. Lorcan. Is. Naked. And. Very. Sexy.
-she storms off and demands where her tent is. She’s sharing with Aelin!Lysandra and she’s cool with that.
-the next morning Gavriel shows her how to skin and gut a rabbit. He let’s her try and she cuts herself. Gavriel heals her with an easy smile and a congratulations on doing well. Lorcan is Glaring at them.
-a few weeks pass, and Elide has only gotten more stubborn and salty.
-“Gavriel tell the Brute dinner is ready”
-“Aedion, tell Lorcan to pass me some more meat”
-“I wish people didn’t betray their supposed friends”
-she accidently drops a log on Lorcan’s head, “Oops,”
-but lorcan is just. A mess inside. And stares longingly at her. And fuckin gavriel says, “Just apologize you stubborn prick”
-lorcan is noping so hard at that. He’s p much death himself.
-elide hears all this btw and makes a mental promise to herself not. To. Crack if he apologies.
-for the next few days while they’re venturing to ornyth lorcan attempts to help her by bracing her ankle but she just purposely limps so he stops and he tries to converse with her but she ignores him or is like, “Aedion, you hear something pal???”
-and aedion is so grateful for the dramatics bc he needs a distraction bc he feels sad abt Aelin and guilty for yellin at Lysandra
-elide feels so empowered by angering this 500 year old warrior and making him beg for it.
-ONE NIGHT it’s particularly hot and Elide is wearing only pants and a sleeveless tunic top and Oh m y go d Lorcan is trying so hard not to stare at her chest or her throat and collar bones bc she’s pulled her hair up with a leather strap
-he’s kinda breathless because she’s beautiful
-gavriel comes over to elide and is like, “U know you’re torturing Lorcan right?”
-“uh huh,” GAVRIEL IS LAUGHING
-lorcan is frustrated and storms away to splash cold water over his head bc she’s so dreamy
-anyway, elide sees him vanish, so she follows him bc she wants to yell at someone (preferably Lorcan the Loser)
-she sees him kneeling by the river, splashing water on himself, and leans against the three because honestly her ankle is killing her.
-moments after she thinks this, a brace wraps around it. She begrudgingly thanks him and walks towards him
-he stands up and looks down at her bc he’s TALL AF and she’s a short cutie pie. “You’ve finally decided to talk to me?”
-“it’s your fault my queen and king are gone, lorcan,”
-“I know, Elide, I know.”
-“i trusted you. I believed you.“
-“elide-”
-“I wanted you to come to Perranth with me,” ngl elide is crying now. She feels betrayed and emotional and just kind of empty inside. She was beginning to fall for Lorcan, despite his mean and brooding ways.
-“I still want to go with you, if you’ll let me,” his voice is hushed and full of emotion, which IS STARTLING
-“I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you did, Lorcan,”
-“let me make it up to you, Elide, please.” He pauses, as if finding the right words, “I’ve been alive for five hundred years, and never once in those years has someone lie you come into my life. I don’t want to loose you,”
-she’s crying p hard and he just hugs her and she let’s him and she buries her face in his chest and sobs because she was finally reunited w her queen and now everything is Hopeless and she’s pretty sure she’s in love with an Emotionless Ass
-“please don’t cry, Elide,”
-they eventually sit in the grass and stare at the full moon and don’t talk and then lorcan turns to her, and he stares long enough that she turns to him too and he just says, “I’m sorry,”
-and she breaks. She starts crying again and moves closer to him and he wraps an arm around her and he kisses her head and holds her until she stops crying
-it’s been weeks and she’s seen firsthand how much he’s been trying to help with getting Aelin back and helping Terassin even if he hurt her and a lot of other people.
-she pulls away and looks up at him, and she sees so much Emotion in his face that her breath catches and he ducks his head down
-and she just freezes as he kisses her cheek, her jaw, her throat, her collarbone, his sharp canines brushing against her flushed skin
-lorcan growls when he smells her scent and her body’s reaction to him, and then she pulls his face up and kisses his cheek, and jaw and throat and he’s like o h m y g o d w h a t
-he cups her face and kisses her softly, and she nearly growls when his hands grip her waist and they’re kissing in earnest now
-she’s flustered and feeling things she’s never felt and he’s growling as he lies her back on the grass and braces his weight on his elbows beside her head, his body covering hers.
-she keeps running her hands up his back because d a m n s o n he’s so muscular
-he pulls away to look at her face and she nods at him, so he unlaces the front of her tunic and pulls it off and omg he’s so breathless when he begins to touch her breasts and when he takes her nipple into his mouth she just. Loses it.
-she grips her hair and tugs and is panting and writhing and he begins to kiss his way down her stomach to her pants and she doesn’t know what to do with herself as he nips and licks her skin omg
-he stops when she gasps his name, worried he’s going too far and goes to pull away but she grips his shoulders and snaps, “If you stop I’ll kill you myself”
-lorcan laughs. He fucking laughs and continues. And elide is a panting mess as he does things to her body she’s never felt and she has to clamp a hand over her mouth when shockwaves of pleasure shoot through her body and she’s shaking and convulsing against the ground.
-lorcan lies next to her on his side and presses against her and she feels how much he wants her against her hip and she just. Touches him without knowing what she’s doing and he swears so loudly she stops and pulls her hand away.
-lorcan growls and pulls her hand back and decides to show her what to do after asking permission. So he shows her how to grip him and curls his own hand over hers and gives her all directions
-and elide is watching between his face and their hands on him because ??? He’s a brute warrior undone by a nineteen year old woman’s touch like??? She feels so powerful
-afterwards they wash off in the lake and she blushes, realizing what just happened. And he tells her there’s nothing to be ashamed of. And then they kiss and go back to camp and everyone just rolls their eyes and minds their own business.
-elide shares a tent with Lorcan that night, and she feels warm and safe
-skipping to after the war (see my tog6 predictions)
-elide, even though she’s pretty much forgiven him, freaks out when she learns she’s Lorcan’s mate like ??? Oh my g o d. But after a few weeks she’s like yeah okay cool
-they do the do and elide is SO protective and possessive of Lorcan it’s hilarious. Lysandra looks at him? Elide glares and snaps at her. A court female touches his arm? She punched that bitch in the face.
-lorcan feels So Loved and mushy and. He just feels and smiles so much more now. It’s honestly unnerving.
-and they finally get married, and it’s a wild emotional Rollercoaster.
-they get to Perranth, and they are Lady Elide Lochan and Lord Lorcan Lochan and they’re happy and healthy and everything is okay and I’m crying