t.i.p. harris

  • Sirius: Pick one, between me, James, Peter, and Lily. If you had to - if you had to - who would you punch?
  • Remus: No one, they’re my friends, I wouldn’t punch any of them.
  • Sirius: Peter?
  • Remus: Yeah, but I don’t know why.
  • <p> <b><p></b> <b>Draco:</b> Hey, Potter! Did it hurt when you fell from heaven again?<p/><b>Harry:</b> ....<p/><b>Draco:</b> Get it? Because you died and then came back?<p/><b>Harry:</b> Alright, you got me. When were you planning on taking me to dinner?<p/><b>Draco:</b> ...I didn't think I'd get this far...<p/></p><p/></p>
  • Lily: Sirius just say it.
  • Sirius: I think I’m in love with Marlene.
  • Lily: I don’t believe it! I thought you called me over here to uncuff you from your sex swing again, but you’re in love? That’s so sweet!
  • Sirius: It’s not ”sweet“. It’s like a disease! I slept with Marlene one time and I caught feelings! I caught feelings bad. I used protection and everything!
  • Lily: Oh Sirius, you don’t “catch” feelings. You just have them! And they’re good!
  • Sirius: They’re terrible! I can’t eat, I can’t sleep. She’s all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Marlene. I, I hear a song it reminds me of Marlene. I sleep with that chick over there, I’m thinking about Marlene.
  • Lily: Sirius, how can you be in love, and still be sleeping with anything that moves?
  • Sirius: I’m sorry, I don’t follow you. That’s like saying, ”How can an ant carry 20 times its body weight, but root beer floats are still delicious?“ Are the two even related?
  • Lily: Sirius, you’re going to have to stop screwing around if you want to be Marlene’s boyfriend.
  • Sirius: Whoa, whoa, whoa. ”Boyfriend“? I don’t want to be Marlene’s boyfriend.
  • Lily: Well, what do you want, then?
  • Sirius: I don’t know. I just want to be with her. All the time. I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. But I don’t want to be her stupid boyfriend!
  • Sirius: Oh, guess who I ran into. A girl from my past. Any guesses?
  • Lily: Marlene.
  • Remus: Amy.
  • James: Emmeline?
  • Lily: The girl who beat you up.
  • Remus: The girl who ruined a photo with Slash!
  • James: The girl who made you get the butterfly tattoo?
  • Sirius: You make it sound like I dated a series of Stieg Larsson novels.

chchibi  asked:


general opinion: fall in a hole and die | don’t like them | eh | they’re fine I guess | like them! | love them | actual love of my life
hotness level: get away from me | meh | neutral | theoretically hot but not my type | pretty hot | gorgeous! | 10/10 would bang
hogwarts house: gryffindor | slytherin | ravenclaw | hufflepuff I’m not the biggest harry p fanatic so I couldn’t decide!!
best quality: Just how he loves himself, yes it’s used to create humour but it would help many of us if we loved ourselves as much as he loved himself, y’know?
worst quality: That one time he became the leader of a zombie army because he was bored aaa
ship them with: anyone!! (if it’s healthy n good)
brotp them with: Edd or Tord mostly
needs to stay away from:
spaceships that are powered by vanity yo
misc. thoughts: I love it when he’s being an asshole honestly?? Also, I love seeing people draw him with freckles!!! I see myself in him (not just because we’re both ginger hhhhh)!!

The Signs as Wizarding Stereotypes
  • Aries: gryffindor af
  • Taurus: herbology nerd
  • Gemini: the kid who doesn't shut up about their summer when they get to hogwarts until like november
  • Cancer: tries too hard on assignments and gets upset when they get a bad grade on it
  • Leo: destroys a classroom by trying to perform a complicated, flamboyant spell to get noticed
  • Virgo: remakes their potions a thousand times to get it perfect
  • Libra: can't decide which electives they wanna take so they just combust
  • Scorpio: mysterious wizard that lurks in knockturn alley
  • Sagittarius: enters the triwizard tournament, dies doing something stupid
  • Capricorn: hella slytherin and a teachers pet
  • Aquarius: weirder than a lovegood
  • Pisces: that wizard that nobody notices outside of divination where they are pro