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The Lonely Tree (Part 13)

Word Count: 1580 

Summary: You and Steve have The Talk

Warnings: Lil bit of language, nervousness, and anxiety

A/N: I’ll just be over here screaming if you need me…

Catch up here!

Originally posted by sergeantskinnyjeans

“Still sleepy?” you asked absently, finally breaking the silence as you neared the Lonely Tree.

“After getting yelled at, punched, and dragged across campus in the snow without my coat? Not so much,” Steve said ruefully, and you looked up at him with concern even as you pressed a bit closer. You hadn’t brought your coat either.

“Bucky?”

“Gee, however did you guess?”

“Alright, sassy, just tell me what happened,” you said with an exasperated laugh.

“He’s just a jerk,” Steve said after a slight hesitation. When you looked utterly unconvinced, he continued. “He’s just grumpy.… And Sam may or may not have seen our little um… accidental kiss…and told Bucky about it.” By the end of his explanation, Steve’s voice was down to a quiet murmur and his cheeks were flushed by more than just the cold winter air.

“Not telling your best friend about any kiss, even an accidental one, was probably not the best call,” you said with an empathetic smile.

“Did you tell Natasha?”

“This morning after you left. She was…displeased.”

“Oh.” It only took you a moment to process the slightly hurt look on Steve’s face.

“Oh, God, no! Not because it was you! No, oh my god, if anything she was thrilled that it was you! She was just mad I didn’t tell her as soon as it happened!”

Steve looked up at you, eyebrows still slightly furrowed as he searched your features carefully. You didn’t let your eyes stray, though the intensity of his gaze sent your stomach twisting into knots and your heart fluttering. Eventually you saw the corner of his mouth lift up in the slightest smirk, and the sight did nothing to ease your nerves.

“Thrilled, huh?” he teased, and you laughed weakly, your playful shove not having nearly enough force behind it to affect him.

“Take it easy, hotshot.”

“Hotshot, huh?”

“Oh my god,” you said with a groan, turning to walk away from him.

You didn’t get very far before Steve grabbed your wrist and yanked you back towards him, leading you to trip over one of the Lonely Tree’s protruding roots and stumble into his arms. Steve laughed at your exasperated expression, even more so when it shifted into a glare as you looked up at him.

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. I didn’t trip you!”

“Maybe not, but you were the one yanking me backwards. When did you get so clingy?”

“Since it started snowing, and I’m in my pajamas.”

“It is not snowing!” you said with a snort.

Steve raised an eyebrow at you, taking a piece of your hair between his fingers and waving it in front of your face. You gave a little delighted gasp at the snowflakes clinging to the strands.

“Oh my god, it’s snowing!”

Your radiant smile faltered a bit when a blast of freezing air and snowflakes swirled around you, forcing you deeper into Steve’s arms.

“Oh my god, it’s freezing!” you corrected, and Steve hummed in agreement, ducking his head to rest on your shoulder. “Okay, I need to talk to you about something, but I need you to let go of me.”

“Y/N, it’s cold!”

“Trust me, I know. I promise I’ll talk fast, and then we can go inside.”

“Why can’t we talk like this?”

“Because this is not something easy for me to say, so I need a reason to say it and say it quickly, or I’ll lose the nerve.”

When Steve drew back to look at you in confusion, you used the opportunity to break out of his hold, backing up a few steps until you felt the smooth bark of the Lonely Tree against your back lending you strength and support. You could do this. You would freeze to death if you didn’t do this. Nat would kick your frostbitten ass if you didn’t do this. You could do it, dammit!

“Steve… What if… I mean, what would you umm…” Your breaths were coming quicker, a result of your heart beating a frantic beat in your chest, but you forced yourself to continue. “What would you have done if that kiss hadn’t been an accident?”

You saw your question draw all the air from Steve’s lungs in a puff of fog, and you squeezed your eyes closed at the sight, sagging back against the Lonely Tree and pressing your palms to the frosty bark.

No matter how many shaky breaths Steve took, his mind wouldn’t stop its frenzied scrambling. How was he supposed to answer this question? It was an accident. There was no getting around that, was there? What were you looking for? Was the kiss not something you regretted? Was that possible? Was it possible that it had been something you wanted? When Steve finally managed to look at you, he felt a tightness in his chest.

You still had your eyes closed, focusing on slowing your breaths, telling yourself that you could handle whatever answer you received from him. After all, you hadn’t necessarily given away anything about your own feelings with that question, had you? Surely you could pass it off as a matter of curiosity. Steve was staring at you when you opened your eyes, his face alight with cautious curiosity.

“You have to tell her how you feel, Steve! She’s not going to wait around forever!” Bucky had said this morning.

“What makes you think she’s waiting around at all?”

“Don’t give me that shit. Sam told me what happened between you two on Friday.”

“It was an accident!”

“But you didn’t want it to be.”

“I can’t just tell her that. I don’t want to ruin this! I don’t want to lose her.”

“If you can’t make yourself tell her, then you’ve got to show her. One way or another, we’re solving this. Today.”

“What does that even mean?”

“You know damn well what that means.”

With one more shaky breath, Steve began to move towards you, each step careful and slow, and your fingers flexed against the tree behind you as your heart proved that yes, it could in fact beat even faster. Steve set his hands on your shoulders before running them lightly down your arms to lace your fingers with his. Try as you might to find some trace of his thoughts and intentions on his face, all you could read was an intense focus as he gave your hands a gentle squeeze and released them.

“Steve?” you said hesitantly, your voice no more than a whisper soon carried off by the wind.

He didn’t seem to hear you, though you caught a faint smile grace his features as you felt his left hand come to rest gently on your hip and guide you closer. Ever so slowly, ever so carefully, his right hand lifted, fingers softly tracing over your cheek, your jaw, your neck, before resting there, holding you steady. When his eyes finally met yours, you hardly dared to breathe. You had never seen them like this before, shining so brightly and so lovingly that they reduced your world to just this, just him. But, god, it was enough. He was more than enough.

“This is the only answer I can give,” Steve whispered, and he kissed you.

And if you had thought for a moment that you knew what it would be like to kiss him, he proved you wrong. There was nothing shy about this. His lips were soft and warm, but this kiss was firm. He knew that he wanted this, wanted you, and he made it clear with every tender press of his lips. And when you kissed him back, he only redoubled his efforts. He wrapped his arm more snugly around your hips to hold you tightly against him as his other hand lost itself in your hair, tilting your head slightly for a better angle and a deeper kiss. Your toes curled at the sensation, and your hands gripped at his shirt, never wanting this to end.

Eventually, he had to pull back from the kiss, though he never let you go. You were both left breathless, clinging to each other and slipping into dazzling smiles as you relived the kiss again and again. When you broke into an amazed giggle, he gave a soft laugh of his own. The blush that rose to his cheeks soon after was enough to overwhelm you.

“Steve Rogers, you are not  allowed to be shy after what you just did to me,” you teased with a laugh.

“Sorry.” He hid his face in the crook of your neck.

“No apologizing either! Don’t make me use your middle name!”

“You don’t even know my middle name.”

“Steven – ”

“If you say Buscemi, I swear to God, Y/N – ”

Buscemi Rogers!”

“Steve Buscemi has no place in this relationship.”

“Relationship? I don’t remember saying anything about a relationship,” you teased, and he lifted his head from your shoulder to flash you a very unamused and unconvinced frown.

“I hate you,” he grumbled, but when you gave a noncommittal hum and placed a soft kiss to the corner of his mouth, he couldn’t hold back a smile. 

“No, you don’t,” you whispered. 

“No, I don’t.”

“You’re stuck with me now. Boyfriends aren’t allowed to hate their girlfriends,” you warned.

“Boyfriends? Have you got one of those?”

“Yes, I do. He thinks he’s funny, but he’s actually really lame.”

“Probably because he spends too much time with you.”

“Probably.”


Part 14- January 24


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Newbie Tip #3

The way you act and dress are very important to selling the idea that you’re a paying customer.

DRESS NICE. Don’t wear trench coats, bulky jackets, anything out of season, etc.

DONT LOOK LIKE YOURSELF. If you happen to get caught on camera u better look unrecognizable. Change up your hair, makeup, body type etc.
It’s all in the details which will let you live to be FREE and not IN JAIL another day.

ACT CONFIDENT: it’s hard not to be an anxious wreck, but fake it the best you can. Put yourself in the mindset that you’re a strong independent person that doesn’t need help, that you belong there, but don’t act cocky, don’t be an asshole to the employees. It is their job to assist you.

It is seriously awful but it’s the truth: People are more likely to suspect you of stealing if you aren’t white. So do your best to sell that you’re a well off person who can afford to buy the entire store. Do your best to blend in with every basic bitch on the block.

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.