t rex are cool

a really cute thing i do as a disabled person and cane user is i pick up too many things with my free arm and then i have to lean down really far/get really close to stuff like door handles and elevator buttons. it makes me look like a t-rex and that’s very cool and adorable of me.

I'm sorry how what was a what's what now??

I used to work at a museum and I have SO MANY fuck customers (well visitors) as well as bless visitors stories but I thought I’d share the weirdest question I ever got because it still makes me giggle and it might cheer someone up!

So yeah I had been working at the museum for a few months now and you usually have tidbits of information memorised, like how old this mummy is or where was this T Rex skeleton was discovered and if a visitor asks something we don’t know we have iPads/tablets to find out.

Well I’m in the prehistoric exhibit with the T Rex skeleton and it’s pretty quiet and I hear this young (admittedly cool looking) couple not arguing but like there is a debate going on and then the guy spots me.

I ask them if I can help and they explain that they have a query about T Rex’s in general. Now I’m trying guess what they’re about to ask like “were they fast runners?” “where were the bones discovered” all questions I automatically knew the answers to. Not this one though. And thank god there were no children around.

“How big would a t rex’s dick have been?”

I think it goes without saying that I had to pull out of the iPad for this one.

TL;DR hipster couple ask me about dinosaur genitals. Oh and in case you were wondering; 1. It’s an ongoing debate, a lot of scientists say up to 45 miles an hour and some believe that they couldn’t run at all 2. South Dakota. 3. possibly anywhere from 10 inches to a foot long.

rowanshinobi  asked:

Hi there! So, how do the Guardians of the Galaxy crew react to Jurassic world and the raptor squad? How does the raptor squad react to them?

Peter: DINOSAURS??? SUPER COOL TWIN WHO IS BEST FRIENDS WITH DINOSAURS??? MUST. IMPRESS. SUPER. COOL. TWIN. HEY OWEN OWEN OWEN DID YOU KNOW I SAVED THE GALAXY?? YUP #1 GALAXY OUTLAW HERO HAHAHA ISNT THAT COOL?? YOURE SO COOL YOUR RAPTORS ARE COOL OMG IS THAT A T REX PLEASE LET ME PET SOMETHING ILL LITERALLY GIVE YOU MY SHIP IF YOU LET ME TOUCH A RAPTOR I DONT MIND IF IT TAKES OFF A HAND P L E A S E. 

Rocket: Gets even more pissy than he usually is as a defense mechanism. Being around a bunch of creatures manufactured in a lab, hits close to home for him. He hates Owen the most, at first, because he assumes that the raptors are just his “pets”, but when he learns that Owen’s main objective is to show the animals respect and treat them like the living creatures they are–rather than “numbers on a spreadsheet”–he takes a liking to him. 

Gamora: Feels a great respect toward every single animal in the park. Also feels like she wants to murder Quill, who has been acting like an overstimulated dumbass to impress Owen this entire time. The raptors, themselves, come sniffing around her side of the cage, but remain relatively docile, something that doesn’t go unnoticed by Owen. She secretly wants to take one home with her. 

Drax: Is torn between wanting a raptor as a pet and wanting to fight one, just to show that he can. Also gains a newfound respect for Quill. If you come from a planet with monsters such as these, you must not be as pathetic as I thought. Peter chooses not to tell him that these animals have been extinct for millions of years, they only live on that island, and previously, the closest he ever came to one was at a museum.

Groot: Somehow ends up riding Delta like a horse. She does not like it. Rocket has a crisis. Owen fears more for his raptors than he does for Groot.   

BONUS:

Yondu: Sees Owen staring at the fin on his head and gives him a demonstration on what it can do via sending his arrow around the raptor paddock and watching them chase and try to snap at it in a way that’s almost playful. Because they are essentially just big ass, scaly cats.

Mantis: Fascinated. When the raptors are in their muzzles, she does a reading on all of them. It leaves her feeling very hungry and very attached to Owen. She loves the girls so much until she sees one of them rip up a pig…then she loves them a little less. But only a little. 

Kraglin: Owen hears him call Yondu “Cap’n” and asks if he’s in some form of space-military. Kraglin then forgets everything around him and goes into a lengthy history about The Ravagers and what a brave leader Yondu is. 

Nebula: Feels like this is all a complete waste of time. Peter suggests that maybe she and Gamora have a “sister bonding day”, then proceeds to do a surprisingly good job booking them spa appointments, making reservation at one of the nicer restaurants, and pulling some strings with Owen to get them front-of-the-line passes. 

Jurassic Park: Alan Grant [ISTP]

OFFICIAL TYPING by Charity / The Mod

Functional Order: Ti-Se-Ni-Fe

Judging Functional Axis:

Introverted Thinking (Ti) / Extroverted Feeling (Fe)

Grant is in a profession that requires total understanding of his topic, and how a long-dead species ‘works’ – and he’s delighted to encounter Jurassic Park at first, because it allows him an opportunity to test his theories about dinosaurs, how they think, move and hunt in packs, etc. When his worldview is challenged, he quips that they’re “out of business,” and will have to learn how to “adapt.” Grant quietly, rationally handles any situation that arises, reaching logical conclusions, and acting on them rather than explaining his thought process. The film showcases his inferior Fe heavily, as circumstances force him to bond with the kids, and tries to find ways to soothe their fears and even entertain them (through teasing) when he has no choice but to undertake their safety.

Perceiving Functional Axis:

Extroverted Sensing (Se) / Introverted Intuition (Ni)

Grant is unafraid of his environment or in interacting with it; he risks his life to distract the T-Rex with a flair, then manages to save the kids from the same T-Rex, multiple times; he’s not always aware of physical danger, and takes risks with ease – both to help others and out of personal curiosity (he rather wants to stay to watch a T-Rex hunt and eat). Grant is a fountain of observable information, an “expert” in his field, who operates on a lot of his “hunches” about how Raptors work together – and who often senses there is “more going on.” He immediately picks up on Malcolm’s interest in Ellie, he has a confident sense of what he wants from his future, and a strong sense of awareness of where the park may be headed, in terms of both putting him out of business and danger-wise. He figures out things quite easily at times (“they’re breeding… the frog DNA!”).

Hogwarts House: Gryffindor

Values: daring, nerve, and chivalry.

Grant hates kids, but still winds up saving them – and putting himself at risk to do so. He’s resourceful (a few Slytherin overtones) but his courage takes front and center stage throughout his two films, and he most of anyone seems able to keep his cool when facing T-Rexes.

honestly nothing in mp100 even registers as weird to me anymore. not the haystack. not the cult with half a million people run by a 14 year old. not pudding-chan. not the massive sentient broccoli. not those moe aliens. if I start explaining it, it’ll sound pretty bizarre, but the fundamental themes are so universal and the characters are so compelling and the concepts are so fascinating that I don’t really think about how we got there.