anonymous asked:

Hey do you have any really funny fic you could suggest? I just read 'A week is only seven days' and I was crying it was so funny. I want more!

Hi Nonny!! OH GOD this has been in my drafts for MONTHS and I’m sorry for the delay. I’m guessing you found that fic on my “Go-To Johnlock Fic Rec List”, and it’s totally worth a read since it’s like, one of my all-time fave fics!! I don’t have many fics with the same type of humour, but I hope that a few of these will appease you! They’re more fluffy than anything else, but if I had a chuckle in them, then they will be here :)

  • High and Tight, Soft and Loose by cwb (E, Ao3) (7,429 w.) - John is stupidly obsessed with Sherlock, Sherlock is adorably clueless, and they’re both dumb idiots. Jealous John and silly misunderstandings.
  • Well Begun Is Half Done by Avice (E, Ao3) (3,897 w.) - Sherlock conveniently finds reasons to try to touch John’s junk. John’s tired of waiting.
  • The Case of the Vanishing Pants by SwissMiss (E, Ao3) (44,025 w.) - Five times John and Sherlock lost their pants for a case. There are some angsty bits in this, but I did giggle at a few scenes.
  • Life and Death by patemalah21 (K+, ff) (6K+) - Sherlock and John get mugged and injured. The first chapter is angsty, but the second and third chapters, Sherlock has to deal with his worst nemesis yet – a nurse intent on him getting better. *SLIGHT* Sher1011ie in the third chapter, but it feels more BFF’s.
  • You’re a Doctor, Fix me by edken (G, Ao3) (8,342 w.) - Sherlock gets sick and stroppy, John grins and bears it to fix him, and a fluffy happy ending.
  • How to Court Your Blogger by PipMer (K+, ff) (3,124 w.) - Sherlock Tries to court John on significant days in their life. Too bad John is a little bit slow on the draw.
  • Sibling Rivalry Or Fighting Over John Watson by Jessa7 (K+, ffnet) (8,085w.) - Mycroft is suddenly taking an interest in John and Sherlock is not happy. John just goes with it – he’s getting a lot of nice things out of this deal. (*NOT JOHNCROFT, just Mycroft being a meddler).
  • The Devil You Know by PipMer (T, ff) (9K+ w.) - Mycroft flirts with John. Sherlock gets jealous. John’s just along for the ride. Yeah, I also REALLY like Mycroft purposely riling up Sherlock to force him to confess his feelings for John. Another “meddling Mycroft” fic… I seriously love this trope.
  • Cigarettes and Shampoo by laura0506 (K+, ff) (783 w) - John and Sherlock get kicked out of a grocery store. Sherlock has a big mouth.
  • Cabbies by OldBesinaStuff (K, ff) (572 w) - Sherlock expounds and illuminates upon the subject of their current cabbies.
  • The Care and Keeping of Your Mad Genius by Janieshi (T, ff) (4K+ w.) - Lestrade and John tease Sherlock after the pool incident.
  • Just Admit It by LoyalNerdWP (K+, ff) (2K+) - Sherlock goes home for Christmas and is missing John. One of my faves, it’s more sweet than funny.
  • The Newlywed Game: Johnlock Edition by patternofdefiance (E, Ao3) (9,020 w.) - Sherlock and John pretend they’re a couple “for a case”. They’re shocked to discover how much they know about each other. One of my faves.
  • Happy Birthday John by Starlight05 (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - Sherlock goes shopping for a present for John. 
  • Not Rocket Science by Nitrospira (K+, ff) (2K+ w.) - The boys are handcuffed to a bed while investigating a double homicide on the International Space Station. It’s been awhile since I read this but I remember liking it :D
  • Out on da pull by I-O-U-a-picture (T, ff) (1K+w.) - John can never pull a date, especially with a flatmate like Sherlock.
  • I’m Pretty Sure This Changes Shit by cwb (E, Ao3) (7,672 w.) - This one is really ridiculously silly. Sherlock keeps injuring himself so John will fix him up. John catches on, and it changes shit.
  • Because Blah Blah Blah Happy by cwb  (E, Ao3) (4,578 w.) - Sherlock sets out to make John happy. Happy happy happy.
  • Carry On by Mazarin221b (M, Ao3) (4,647 w.) - Five times John didn’t want to be carried, and one time he did.
  • Equine Arse Anonymity by Kayjaykayme (E, Ao3) (3,834 w.) - Sherlock needs to speak with suspects at a fancy dress ball. He chooses a couple’s costume for himself and John. It is logical, practical and well thought out. John doesn’t agree and exacts sweet revenge.
  • An Acquired Taste by kinklock (E, Ao3) (31,059 w.) - Sherlock is a bat. No other explanation needed.
  • and yes I said yes I will Yes by Mithen (T, Ao3) (1,662 w.) - Sherlock has deduced that John is going to propose to him, and he’s ready to accept. If only John would actually get around to it…
  • The Trouble With Being Subtle. by VictoryCandescence  (NR, Ao3) (5,429 w.) - In which Sherlock experiments, John misinterprets, and everyone else stands back and waits for the light to turn on.
  • The Detective and the Pin-Up by XistentialAngst (T, Ao3) (15,683 w.) - Sally Donovan discovers an old secret John Watson considered long buried - a ten-year old “Men of the Armed Forces” calendar, which has John as a very enticing pin-up for August. The image of John might just change the way everyone sees the unassuming sidekick, even Sherlock Holmes.
  • John’s Drawers by JezebelGoldstone (T, Ao3) (2,646 w.) - Sherlock snoops through John’s drawers and finds something… unexpected.
  • In Which John is a BAMFy MoFo, OMG! by Kantayra (T, Ao3) (1,835 w.) - John’s BAMFness and Sherlock’s damsel-in-distress act are caught forever on camera. So Scotland Yard can mock. A lot.
  • Corpus Hominis by mycapeisplaid (E, Ao3) (47,709 w.) - John knows the human body intimately. He’s had plenty of opportunity for study as a doctor, soldier, and lover. There’s one particular body, however, he knows very little about. When Sherlock launches himself head-first into a new obsession and they get sent on a case in an unlikely location, the pair discovers each other’s bodies with confusing yet delightful (and sometimes hilarious) results. {{NOTE: Because I always forget: ‘The One With the Shampoo, Steph.’}}
  • Goodness Gives Extras by mydwynter (E, Ao3) (39,629 w.) - Christmas time. ‘Tis the season to settle down with a drink, some food and a present or two, and to enjoy the quiet relaxation of the holiday. Instead, there’s a case that drags them all over, missing presents, disappointed kids, angry parents, and a freak snowfall. On top of that John has to deal with Sherlock, who is being even more of a prat than usual. He really shouldn’t have expected anything different.
  • You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners by ardenteurophile (T, Ao3) (23,584 w.) - Sherlock takes John along for Christmas dinner with Mycroft and Mummy (And “Anthea”, too). Over the course of the evening, John realises that everyone in the room - apart from him - seems to think that he and Sherlock are a couple.
  • You Can Imagine The Christmas Dinners by johnsarmylady (T, ff)(1K+ w.) - Set the morning after a Study in Pink, John sits and contemplates Mycroft’s words. John’s imagination sometimes goes a little wild.
  • Abhorring the Dull Routine of Existence by ardenteurophile (T, ff) (7K+ w.) - Or, a Week Spent on Artificial Stimulants. Sherlock overdoses on Red Bull, much to John’s dismay. Spin-off fic set before the events of “You Can Imagine the Christmas Dinners”.
  • The Real Meaning of Idioms by feverishsea (T, Ao3) (21,691 w.) - After two weeks away, John finally texts Sherlock. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to respond. He doesn’t expect Sherlock to keep texting him. And he really doesn’t expect things to spiral out of control so rapidly.
  • To Sleep, Perchance to Smother Your Flatmate with a Pillow by Linpatootie (G, Ao3) (5,308 w.) - Sherlock wants to conduct a sleep study of sorts. John contemplates smothering him with a pillow. Part 1 of Two Coffees One Black One with Sugar Please (this whole series is amazing, and I love it so much).
  • The Second Law of Thermodynamics by entanglednow (T, Ao3) (3,614) - In which there’s no heating and there’s a dead owl in Sherlock’s bed. Part 1 of Thermodynamics (this whole series is really great, I love it!)
  • Vaporized by Catslynw (K, ff) (1K+ w.) - This little number is set soon after A Study in Pink. John has just moved into 221b and is getting to know his flatmate, and his flatmate’s amazing abilities, a little better.
  • Denial Isn’t Just a River in Egypt by satanatemycat (T, ff) (2K+ w.) - In which John makes a bet with a co-worker. If he wins, she shuts up about him and Sherlock being a couple. If he loses… well, that doesn’t matter, because he won’t lose. Because he and Sherlock ARE NOT a couple. Right?
  • The Video Footage by bitchinblackframedglasses (K, ff) (1K+ w.) - What exactly DID Lestrade film Sherlock doing in A Scandal in Belgravia? Sherlock wants to know, and John tells him. Fluff.
  • At Least Make It Interesting by amythedork (K, ff) (2K+ w.) - "You’ve reached Sherlock Holmes. For the love of God, if you’re going to leave a message, at least make it an interesting one. If this is Mycroft, then piss off.“ / A series of voicemails John left Sherlock throughout their time together. 
  • Manipulation by sixbynine (K, ff) (2+K w.) - John Watson is not as unobservant as Sherlock thinks, nor is he above using what he knows. Even if it is just to make sure Sherlock eats and sleeps.
  • Bored Games by SparksMayFly (K, ff) (3K+ w.) - Sherlock asks if he can take Reverend Green in for interrogation. John explains that’s not how the game works. 
  • Bored Games by patster223 (K+, ff) (2k+ w.) - Sherlock is bored and John decides that they should play Cluedo. In retrospect, it was a truly awful decision.
  • Three Ways Sherlock Conformed to His Stereotype by Jennistar1 (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - "It’s a hat.” / Urge to roll eyes, quashed. “Yes. I can see that.” / “It’s called a deerstalker.”
  • Tipsy by katkin (K+, ff) (2K+ w.)  “I love everyone in this room,” he announced proudly.“I know you do, buddy,” John replied “Which is why you’re going to clean this carpet in the morning. Because you’re a good friend.” “I am a good friend!” Sherlock agreed.
  • Cards by Caighlee (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - Sherlock has been without a case for a few days and Molly’s suggested experiment - something with a pig head (ew) - is losing it’s appeal. Can John come up with something that’ll distract Sherlock for a bit longer? And how did John pull off that card trick? Sherlock’ll never know because a magician never tells a secret. Except maybe when faced with a smiling Consulting Detective.
  • Never Have I Ever by Hannelore-Grace (T, ff) (2K+) - In which the Yarders, Sherlock, and John play the time-honored drinking game.
  • Surety by hudders (G, Ao3) (2,477 w.) - Sherlock is pissed because it seems that four pints of larger, two shots of tequila and a glass of wine has resulted in Lestrade becoming a little bit too friendly with everyone. And by everyone, Sherlock really means John.
  • Never Have I Ever by hudders-and-hiddles (E, Ao3) (10,655 w.) - John and Sherlock tag along for the Met’s weekly night out, where the evening’s chosen drinking game is Never Have I Ever. Sherlock is reluctant to join in until he realizes he can learn all kinds of new things about John, but he forgets that John might learn a thing or two about him as well.
  • Cabin Fever by A Wandering Minstrel (K+, ff) (6K+ w.) - A massive storm keeps John trapped in Baker Street with a half-blind (for science!), very bored Sherlock Holmes.
  • Spilt Milk by Erin Giles (K+, ff) (2K+ w.) - John comes back from a trip to the supermarket only to take a trip up the stairs. Both shopping and blood are spilled leaving Sherlock to play the role of Doctor.
  • God Save The Queen by Alice Day (K+, ff) (1K+ w.) - Sherlock has a new case. John is petrified. The Queen is amused.
  • Tidying Up by mattsloved1 (K+, ff) (951w.) – John comes home to a thoroughly cleaned flat. Or so it seems.

Feel free to add your own ficlets and self promos!! I love all the funny fics!

Past the Clouds, We’ll Find the Stars [CS FF Oneshot]

This was supposed to be a little oneshot that was sparked from my headcanon about CS adopting. It took on a life of its own and…well, here it is. Thank you to @peggyyswan for being my ride or die, for always flailing with me and for reading this via photos of my laptop screen as I went along. I’ll post it on FFnet soon.

CS + Adoption and more: A dash of angst, a sprinkling of humor & a whole lotta fluff.

Title: Past the Clouds, We’ll Find the Stars
Rating: T
Words: 8.6K

“So…what do you think about adopting?”

It wasn’t a question Killian had been prepared for. Not at 11pm on a Monday night as they cuddled in bed watching Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives. It struck him as more of an over-dinner conversation, or one inspired by watching TV shows involving infants, as opposed to run-down shacks serving questionable-looking yet apparently delicious meals.

He shifted to find his wife’s eyes, but she kept them fixed on the television screen, and his brow creased as he considered her. She was snuggled into his side, hand tracing idle patterns through his chest hair, cheeks aglow and hair tousled from their recent tumble between the sheets. But he had a feeling that the color on her cheeks had more to do with her question than their earlier pleasurable activities.

“Are you referring to a puppy or a child, darling?”

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Breathing Dreams Like Air + CS Neverland One Shot

So here’s a little smutty thing that’s been prodding me for a loooooong time :] set in Neverland post 3x05 when Emma learns that Hook hears the cries of the Lost Boys at night just like she does. Basically Lagoon smut with some of that season three UST.

Rating: M
Word Count: 6K

The voices echoed in her head as she shot up, allowing the dream - or rather, nightmare - to pull her from what had been a very uneasy sleep. The night was dense around the camp, only the sound of distant crickets and rippling water from the nearby lagoon to soothe her dizzied brain. Taking a deep breath, Emma glanced around the open space to notice her parents still soundly slumbering near the fire while Regina had finally succumbed to exhaustion beneath a blanket they’d brought from Hook’s ship.

Hook, she wondered as her frantic mind finally settled. Wait, where was he?

The question was curious at best, though there was and probably always had been more to her so called ‘casual’ thoughts about him. Her trust regarding the innuendo accompanied pirate captain had always been slightly off balance, but she knew he wouldn’t leave them to their own less than knowledgeable devices on this island. He’d come back for them when he didn’t have to. He’d opted to face his own apparent fear of this place to assist them - to help her and save Henry. That surely meant something.

She just didn’t know what.

Emma knew if he’d been present at the moment she’d been ripped from her unpleasant rest, he would have made sure she was alright, given her a possible explanation for her bout of island insomnia, and flirtatiously offered to accompany her back to her makeshift bed - probably in that order. She rolled her eyes at the idea of how his smoldering smirk and those deep cobalt eyes would likely be able to make her mind wander if he’d propositioned her in such a manner.

Not that it wasn’t partially her fault for letting him finally get the best of her in the heat of this damn jungle.

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♡ hello my beautiful moon and sunbeams this is choco and christ on a bike i’m finally doing a follower forever! i’ve been dilly dicking around with choco-seventeen for awhile now n today i’m celebrating my blog’s second year anniversary!! i didn’t do anything last year, however, this year i felt like i should try a lil bit n since i’ve encountered so many gr8 ppl, i thought this would be nice!!

so whether or not we talk a lot, or talk a lil, or even once in a blue moon, you are all ppl i appreciate n i think deserve recognition. i can assure u at one point you’ve all made me smile n that is the gr8est gift of all!


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CSSV Fic: Happenstance (full version)

A/N: For @killiarious. Thank you for your patience, love! Here is the full version of your gift. Again, it was lovely chatting and please feel free to swing by to chat more any time you like! Thanks also to @tnlph and @mryddinwilt for providing the initial inspiration for this story from this convo a year ago.  

Summary: He was just trying to escape everything. She wasn’t part of his plan.

Words: 3400 | Rating: M | ao3


He should thank Liam, he knew it. He wouldn’t need to leave the flat, minus the initial trip to the market, for days. There were enough books, along with wine and rum, to last him for weeks. And the view, Killian still wasn’t sure there were words.

Good god, brother. The pictures you sent weren’t enough.

I know. Don’t skulk your entire stay. The city is better up close.

Killian rolled his eyes. He was almost grateful when he found out his brother would be out of town when he sent his plea for a place to crash. He needed to be away from Tink, away from town, their apartment. From everything, really. And while he hadn’t seen Liam since his transfer to Istanbul, the prospect of the judgement in his eyes, even as he would welcome him in, was more than Killian thought he could bear.

Liam sent him instructions on where he could pick up a set of keys and a warning that he promised a friend a place to stay later in the week while she was in town for a job.

And stay as long as you like, little brother. I’m due home in a couple weeks.

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The Falcon Chisel Affair

So not too far back, @rollyjogerjones came to me with this silly idea of Emma dressing as Old!Hook for Halloween, much to the irritation of her husband. She got to work on the stunning (and hilarious) artwork, and I agreed to write an accompanying fic. Took me a little longer than originally intended, and took a small turn towards some angst briefly, but I hope you all enjoy it all the same!

Amber, thank you so much for putting this idea out into the universe and letting me play around with it for a short while!

(Artwork posted with permission. Please do not repost or crop it.)

Emma paused in adjusting the ratty grey wig on her head and glanced at her husband in the reflection of their bedroom mirror. He was trudging around the room with the same scowl he’d had on his face since Emma had revealed just exactly what she was planning to dress as for Halloween. That had been two days ago.

“You can’t stay grouchy much longer,” she tried to put a bit of childish whine into her tone, but she figured it came off sounding as amused as she felt by his petulance. Silly, ridiculous pirate.

“I carried a grudge for centuries, darling,” Killian muttered as he fiddle with the utility belt around his waist. “Are you really that keen to see how long I can stay grouchy?” His sharp, blue-eyed gaze snapped up to hers quickly and she could see the hint of that dangerous captain lurking in it. It simultaneously made her want to roll her eyes and sent a jolt of excitement coursing through her.

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The Art of Remembering (10/?)

Summary: Killian hasn’t seen Emma in months, not since she ran off in the middle of the night. But when he receives a call from the hospital informing him that she’s been in an accident he rushes to be by her side. Nervous and anxious to see her again he’s not sure what to expect—but he definitely doesn’t anticipate that upon waking she would have no idea who he is. Modern au

Rating: T

Also on: ff.net, ao3 

Catch up: first chapter, previous chapter, 

a/n: Thank you for your love for this story! Hope you enjoy the chapter. 

Emma inhales a long breath through her nose as she stands next to Killian in the middle of David and Mary Margaret’s porch. The outside of their house is just as quaint and perfect as the couple that owns it. A pot of hydrangeas sits in the corner, and off to the left rests a set of white wicker furniture that looks like it came straight out of one of those home and garden magazines.

Killian had done a valiant job in fending off Mary Margaret’s desire for one of her so-called friend dinners for as long as he could. And he probably would have held it off even longer if Emma hadn’t told him it was okay.

Sure, the last time she’d seen the couple she’d ran off with a desperate need for space and air—but that had been literal days after her accident and she’d had weeks to adjust now. She figures she’s going to remember everything at some point, so she might as well start trying to embrace the people that claim they’re a part of her life now.

Licking her lips she stares at the dark wood of the front door—a sign that reads The Nolan’s in white spiraling letters hangs right in the center—and straightens her spine a little, steeling herself.

She can do this.  

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r e w i n d

prompt ;; CS + back in time adventure. Or y'know… the one in which going back to the Beanstalk to retrieve their very own ‘magic little baby tree’ becomes a family affair of sorts. CS future family fluff <3 (( AO3 )) 

— ღ   —

“It would appear we’re back…”

Emma grunts. No, no, she doesn’t especially want to be back. Not really. She knows they have to; it isn’t an accident this time that they are back, but that doesn’t mean she has to be happy about it right?

She pouts, touching at the spot on her head that hurts the most. There’s no doubt there’s going to be some notable bruising in the morning. 

Killian’s landing isn’t any more glamorous than hers was; he’s sprawled on the soft, muddy grass just a few feet away, looking over.

Emma manages to sit on her butt and looks at him as he rises to his feet. “You all right there, Swan?”

Emma nods, although ‘all right’ may not really cover how she’s feeling right now.

It takes them both a full moment to make sense of everything —when it finally hits them though, Killian’s face falls and he runs a hand over his face.


Emma looks around them frantically but it’s plenty clear their kid landed elsewhere.

Keep reading

Arrangements Ch 2

A princess needs a husband, even in a land where suitors are scarce.

Arranged marriage AU. M rated.

Also on ff.net and AO3

It had taken a sleepless night to decide how to reply. His earlier feelings about how this act, this duty, could somehow help atone for the past did not abate. Still this was not a situation he had anticipated. He had never reckoned he would marry. He loved the sea too much- and even more he was too headstrong to see himself partnered with anyone other than a captain. Or his brother.

Liam was the marrying kind. He had often talked of how he wished to have two strong sons, much like themselves, to follow their path into the navy. But that chance had been ripped away from him by the cruel blow of a pirate’s sword, Killian unable to do a thing as his only family - his world - sank to the deck with a belly full of blood.

The memory of that day taunted him. He hadn’t been able to save his brother. If he’d have been a little faster, or more careful, well, it was something he often dwelled on. It hadn’t mattered that he was able to play a key part in beating back the attackers and that his actions had been essential in saving the lives of a dozen more men. He was unable to save the one who mattered.

He tossed and turned, reckoning that if he were able to fulfill his brother’s wish to carry on their bloodline that it could provide some comfort to his soul. Commander Gibbons had been true in his assessment that Liam would have approved of Killian marrying. The circumstances were unexpected but the outcome would have pleased the elder Jones, of that he was certain. Now Killian was truly alone, he knew his brother would want him to form a new family.

And the matter of a partnership… Any marriage he had thought of before would have been different. One with a traditional courtship. And love. This was an entirely different matter. It was a situation designed to produce a specific outcome: heirs for the kingdom and the ensuing stability. Emotions and feelings did not factor into this arrangement. In some way that made things easier. It was almost clinical in the way he could approach his decision. Or at least that was what he told himself.

And the princess… Emma, he reminded himself. She was beautiful. Refined, educated, regal. All fine qualities to be sure. Under other circumstances he could never have dreamed being connected to such a woman. But history had dealt them all a strange hand and now he could be her consort. As much as he tried to imagine such a life with her would be like, he struggled to do so. She was such a mystery to him.

He lay in bed, the word marriage rolling around in his head like a marble on an unsteady deck. He dedicated hours to weighing up each aspect of the offer and the benefits and constraints. The letter proposing the engagement had contained reference to his commission and that the king and queen wished for him to be able to continue with his career ‘in as a full a way as possible’. He took that be mean they supported his role in the navy. That eased his mind.

But was he ready to marry? Would he ever be - even if to serve a greater purpose?

Admittedly, he still wasn’t sure when the sun rose, or when he took his pen and placed it on the hot pressed paper, or when he sealed the note with blood red wax, nor even when he passed it to the courier for return to Misthaven. But something had told him this was the right thing to do. To accept the proposition. To marry the princess.


The response from the Lieutenant arrived mere days before his ship returned. Her mother had brought the news to her in her chambers as she prepared for dinner. The queen seemed happy, yet wary. Emma had certainly surprised her when she had approached with her decision on how to proceed. She had told the queen that a formal courtship period - which would usually be at least a few months followed by an equally long engagement - seemed old fashioned, given the circumstances. She had also pointed out that she herself had not followed these rules when she married. Emma had explained, factually, reasonably, that of all the possible suitors, the naval officer seemed most appropriate in rank, temperament and education. It had taken a few days of discussion between her mother and father before they had devised a plan of action: to inform the Lieutenant of the princess’s wishes, to seek his acceptance and then to plan the wedding post haste.

Emma was happy. In a way. Or perhaps relieved would be a better description. The issue of the continuance of the royal line could soon be put to bed. She could move into a more formal role with the kingdom. Perhaps she could travel somewhat, as she would have an official consort. And then children-

She was not naive. She was fairly familiar with what would have to happen between them. Children were not expected instantly in such circumstances, but soon enough she would need to produce an heir…

She would worry about that later.

Once she had assured the queen of her happiness at the news, the older woman had thrown herself into talk of gowns and flowers and guests and all the practicalities of a royal wedding. Her mother came alive, more jovial and youthful than she had seemed in years. Emma was pleased she had made her mother happy. The latched onto her mother’s joy, as if by proxy she could feel the same.


When the Jewel of the Realm docked, it was met by a royal entourage. The Lieutenant appeared in his fine uniform once more. He took the princess’s hand and placed another chaste kiss upon it and then rode to the castle with them to finalize the formalities. Emma felt rather strange, this man she barely knew, was to be her husband. She wondered if he felt the same discombobulation. She knew not what was his favourite book or meal, whether he preferred summer or winter or even simply what the sound of his laugh was like. Never mind to speak of his past, his family and his dreams for the future.

Either by accident, or some element of design, there was very little time to learn more of his thoughts and feelings. The wedding was fixed for a mere six weeks time. It would be midsummer by then, a fortuitous time to marry so they said. Between his naval duties and the Jewel’s next journey, there would be little time to get to know one another. Emma wasn’t sure what she thought about that. But in the end, it didn’t matter. They were marrying. They would have all the time in the world to become familiar with each other once the marriage contract was signed.

The crown princess of Misthaven was nothing if not always practical.


It seemed indecently quick how soon she was standing draped in fine lace, saying vows before an assembled gathering of family and selected dignitaries. There had been a few conversations between them in the proceeding weeks. The half dozen dinners he had attended she had sat beside him. At the formal engagement party they had danced twice. It was all so… polite. But beyond that, there had been so little time for such niceties. He was committed to his duties on the Jewel and she respected that. It was something to admire, his dedication to his work.

Still, her knees shook as she recited the words. Her heart raced as she looked at the man she was joining herself with. Her mind began to fill with doubt at the wisdom of this union.

There was little time to think as the emerald ring that belonged to her mother was slipped on her finger and the ceremony was completed.

She kissed her husband.

(Her husband.)

It was a little awkward. Stiff. Two almost strangers pushed into intimacy.

Oh what had she done.


He thought of Liam during the ceremony. How he wished he could have been there.

(Or how it even should have been him at the altar.)

He stood tall, held back his shoulders and recited the vows with as much sincerity and nobility as he could muster.

It was impossible to ascertain the princess’s feelings. Her face was a mask; a thin smile upon it with no other emotion revealed. They had spent so little time together before this moment; he was needed more often than not for official naval matters. In honesty, he had been glad. He had been avoiding really thinking about what he had agreed to do. But it was more difficult with her in front of him, beautiful in pale blue lace, her golden hair in tumbling curls. Her face unreadable.

When he kissed her, she froze in his arms. Their lips barely touched for the briefest of seconds, enough time for their guests to stand and congratulate them. That their first kiss should be for an audience was perhaps apt occurrence, all things considered. A public spectacle as everything between them had been so far.

Discreetly, the queen had indicated that the pair ought to spend a moment together before the formal dinner, out of the sight of prying eyes, and he was inclined to agree. They slipped away to the queen’s drawing room.

“Your highness,” he nodded, with a soft smile as the door closed behind them.

“Stop,” she replied softly, “No need for such formality.”

He paused and stood upright. She approached him, the soft swishing of her dress the only sound in that quiet part of the castle. Sometimes he missed the creaking of oak planks and the crashing of waves against the hull when he was ashore. The lack of ambient noise on land threw everything else into sharp focus.

She clasped her hands about her waist. The ring on her finger glinted in the last of the sunlight that shone through the windows. “You must call me Emma, at least in private.”

“Of course,” he nodded, “Emma.”

She seemed to look him over, her eyes darting about his form. He wondered what she was thinking. He wondered if he would ever be able to decipher her looks. Only time would tell.

“I feel like we rarely have a moment alone. I wonder if we shall ever be able to ascertain more beyond our names and our preferences when dining,” she asked, a lighthearted edge to her voice but there was an undercurrent of something beneath it.

“I hope so. The naval command have been most understanding, and though I will be asea sometimes, you will have plenty of opportunity to grow tired of my presence.”

“We shall see,” she nodded, a half smile on her lips as if she were teasing him. He bit back his own smile.

He watched as she walked towards the large windows that looked out onto the harbour. It was late afternoon now, dusk beginning to peek at the edges of the horizon with its dusty pink hues painting over the crisp, Misthaven blue. She walked with the regal posture, back straight, head held high.

He hesitated, not sure if he should join her. In fact he found himself most uncertain about all aspects of how he was to behave. They were married. They had signed the documents, said the words, but really nothing much had changed. They were still two almost-strangers.

“How are you feeling?” she finally asked, not turning around.

“I’m not sure,” he admitted, hoping she understood his meaning. In this instance there did not seem to be an appropriate answer. So honesty was what he decided upon.

Emma looked back over her shoulder. “And I’m also not sure how to feel,” she admitted, “So at least in that we are equal.”

“It has been a strange time,” he said as she returned to him.  

She nodded as he smiled at her. A tentative gesture, but one that eased a little of the worry she wore upon her brow.

“Our guests are waiting - should we?” he asked, holding out his arm.

Quietly, she agreed, taking hold of her husband, ready to face their guests.


They dined, danced and made niceties. There was barely a moment to dwell on the fact that they were now married. Not until the night drew in and it was time to retire.

She had slipped away first. A maid had helped her remove the most cumbersome parts of her dress and veil, allowing her to pull on a long nightdress before she was joined by him.

There was a knock at the interjoining door that connected to the private dressing room that adjoined her room. Emma slipped beneath the sumptuous covers of her bed before she bid him to enter.

His head was down. The nightshirt he wore was soft linen and reached down to his knees. She was secretly thankful that he was so well… covered. These past weeks, she had tried not to think too much on what would happen that evening. She was not a fool, she understood the ins and outs the marriage bed. At least in principle. But it was still the case that she yet to see a naked man, save in scientific illustrations, much less be alone with one.

Clearing his throat, he frowned. “You look comfortable, I can sleep elsewhere-”

She balled her hands in the quilt. “No, you are my husband.” She swallowed and looked away, “We must…”

He gave the briefest of nods. She knew quite well if she were to say she was not ready he would have left her in peace. The marriage, however, would not be legal until this threshold had been passed. And if it were today, or a week or a month from that date, what would it matter? Best to get it over with, she thought.

The bed shifted with his weight. She had never shared it with another- not even a friend for a girlish sleepover. Her body rolled backwards towards him with the motion and she gasped lightly as he snuffed out the candle and pulled the blankets over them.

Minutes - hours seemed to pass - she froze in place. Not quite sure what to say or do. She was beginning to think they would stay in that position for the rest of the night until one or the other passed out in exhaustion.

It was he who broke the impasse. He reached out, placing a gentle hand upon hers.

“Are you scared?” he whispered.

“No,” she lied. But she was scared in a way, not of the act, not of him- but of something else she didn’t understand. Then she frowned. “Well, not really.”

Her heart raced as she felt him inch closer, the gap between them disappearing until he was hovering over her, his features masked by the darkness, but she could feel the warmth of him and the scent of his soap even though they barely touched.

“Are you sure, love?” he asked.

The little term of endearment sent a spark through her body. It was the most intimate thing he had said to her, just a silly little word. But right then it meant everything.

She nodded, her teeth pressing down on her lower lip, her toes clenching in anticipation.

Gently, he lifted the cover until he was draped across both their bodies. He paused again and for a moment she thought he may have changed his mind. Her cheeks reddened at the thought that he didn’t want her-

But then she felt his hand against her cheek, the barest of touches, featherlight and soft.

“You looked beautiful today,” he whispered, the compliment unexpectedly making her heart swell. She felt herself blush as his fingers moved to cup her cheek.

“Thank you,” she replied, not sure how else to respond. She thought she could perceive him smiling a little, before he leant down and kissed her.

A soft kiss. A reserved kiss, she thought. She felt he was holding something back, which made her grateful yet curious. His mouth moved over hers, slowly sparking something inside her. He seemed careful to avoid touching her more than he was. The hand on her cheek and his lips the only points of contact. Did he truly want her or was this duty?

Did she want him?

He was pushing up the linen of her nightgown as those thoughts lingered. The scrape of his finger tips against her bare legs left a tingle in their wake. He shifted over her, his kisses deepening, yet still holding back. Her own hands went to his shoulders, his neck, holding his mouth to hers as their hips aligned and she felt the heavy weight of him and his desire that she had only read about before.

A sudden warmth overcame her. It was a rush of wanting - instinct telling her to let her legs fall apart, his soft grunts telling her that this was the right motion. And then it all became a blur.

His urgency seemed to increase, he tugged at his own nightshirt, sighing when skin met skin. It felt strange, but wonderful, so oddly intimate, a kind of contact that she had not yet experienced. And then fingers wandered over her body, teasing and meandering, finding the apex of her legs, wavering there until she gave a small nod of approval. And he touched her. And oh- it felt so good. Just that singular sensation of another upon her intimate places. Her breath caught. The kisses paused and he held back, drawing his fingers through her flesh-

“Is this alright?” he asked, a slight timbre to his voice.

She couldn’t speak, so she nodded, her breath shaking.

And then a blur. The feeling inside her growing, his fingers working over her, his mouth on her lips and her neck and then - then-

He was at her entrance, waiting again, bidding her allowance, until she tilted her hips and a maid she was no more.


It hadn’t seemed real. Even when the vows were said and the wedding breakfast was taken. Even as he undressed. Even as he slipped into her bed-

But there he was, bedding the royal princess, sealing their wedding night. This intimate act between two so unfamiliar with each other, yet now so intrinsically linked.

Finally, he was letting himself go. Letting that naval reserve slide away, just for a little while. Let himself enjoy the beauty of this woman, this lady of whom he was now joined - of whom he felt so unworthy.

He hadn’t wanted to rush this. He would have waited. He was holding back, he knew it, he was sure she could tell. But he must be gentle, mindful of her inexperience, not selfish in his wants.

Yet as he found himself giving into carnal bliss, a clarity of mind occurred. He looked into the princess’s eyes and it was as if he was seeing her for the first time. And he wanted to know her, learn her, consume her-

He wanted everything, yet he feared that was a lost cause.

Now Is the Time to Know (That All That You Do Is Sacred)

For @starscythe and the beautiful art she made for Dark OQ Week, Day 1: Getting to Know You. Title taken from Hafiz. [ffn | ao3]

Special thanks to @repellomuggletum15 for being a badass beta, and to @robin-of-locksley for inspiring a line in this.

They got acquainted with each other’s bodies first.

One drink had turned into two (he insisted on buying that one as well), and their coy little glances had grown bolder, heating and opening up to one another in clear looks of want.

And oh what a glorious mess they had made of the tavern that night.

It was strange, in the beginning, to know him and yet not – in a purely physical sense, they were nearly identical, these two Robins who had both breezed into her life at a time when second chances felt like something impossible to her.

The same blue eyes. Those same strong arms (the way they learned to hold her, too). Even that scar up his bicep, the long lines of muscle that swooped down his waistline and tensed whenever she traced them with her tongue.

But the similarities ended there.

The way that he moved, the sound of his groan as he pressed into her – trying to remember a different Robin in him was like opening a book to find the chapters had all been rewritten, and it took a few moments of fumbling with this new kind of intimacy for her to realize how little it mattered in the end.

She was not the same Regina, nor the same Evil Queen, and her different with his different came together so naturally that she eventually decided it was useless to question or dwell on it too long.

She’d made a vow not to waste any more time with this man.

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Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 95: The Magic Mirror

Fluffy Fridays—Chapter 95: The Magic Mirror

Pairing:  Captain Swan

Rating: T

Summary:  A series of unrelated, fluffy one shots featuring  Killian Jones and Emma Swan and the relationship that makes us all  swoon. Will contain both canon and AU stories. My contribution to  Operation Rainbow Kisses and Unicorn Stickers (aka, my attempt to drown  out the season 4 finale angst with ridiculous levels of fluff.)

Missed the beginning? ( 1) ( 2) ( 3) ( 4) ( 5) (6) ( 7) ( 8) ( 9) ( 10) ( 11) ( 12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18) (19) (20) (21) (22) (23) (24) (25) (26) (27) (28) (29) (30) (31) (32) (33) (34) (35) (36) (37) (38) (39) (40) (41) (42) (43) (44) (45) (46) (47) (48) (49) (50) (51) (52) (53) (54) (55) (56) (57) (58) (59) (60) (61) (62) (63) (64) (65) (66) (67) (68) (69) (70) (71) (72) (73) (74) (75) (76) (77) (78) (79) (80) (81) (82) (83) (84) (85) (86) (87) (88) (89) (90) (91) (92) (93) (94)

Tagging a few people who may be interested: @sailormew4 @annaamell@flslp87@emmateo26@fleurreads @doracianstormrose @mermaidswans@bethacaciakay@ultraluckycatnd@allfangirlallthetime @effulgentcolors, @ilovemesomekillianjones@kat2609@brooke-to-broch@missgymgirl @hellomommanerd @galadriel26 @the-lady-of-misthaven@charmingturkeysandwich@jennjenn615 @laschatzi @kimmy46@snowbellewells@iamanneenigma @daxx04 @lapi-lazuli@nickillian @a-rose-for-a-savior @in-spirational @gillie@manic-pixiefangirl @britishguyslover@ginnyjinxedandhanshotritafirst @nofeels@holmes-a-holic@kmomof4 @linda8084  @spartanguard


The Magic Mirror

CS genre: Deleted Scene/Canon Divergence (2x6)

Emma took a deep breath and looked around the huge, cavernous room, trying desperately to ignore the cocky pirate at her side.  Her hand still tingled where he’d held it and bandaged it with his scarf.  Not that she had any intention of telling him that. The stupid pirate was way too full of himself as it was.

Still, from the looks of things around this place, she was going to have to suffer through his company for quite a while more.  There was treasure and junk piled everywhere.  How the hell were they ever going to find the magic compass?

“They horded all of their greatest stolen treasures in here,”  Hook said, picking up a golden coin, putting it to his nose and breathing it in.  “Piles of jewels, and every room filled with coins.”

Great.  Not only did they have a warehouse full of crap to sift through, it looked like her sticky-fingered companion was going to get distracted by everything that sparkled.

“Let’s get to it; the compass,” she said.

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if a moment is all we are [1/1]

summary: a little and v random au fic where emma swan struggles with her self-worth and killian sees the brilliance of this woman and gives her a…pep talk. or something like that. (established relationship.) 

rating: t. there’s some gentle kissing is all so

words: ~1.7k

a/n: title dedicated to chester bennington, lyrics from the song “one more light” by linkin park. my childhood angst band before i even knew angst was a thing.  unbeta’d and all that. I AM RUSTY I HAVEN’T PUBLISHED ANY FF IN A LONG TIME (this is also not the fic i posted a teeny teaser for, that’s coming later) ao3

Emma Swan is an enigma, a puzzle of many pieces, jagged and smooth- one he has always wanted to solve, but never actually fit back together.

She has loved and lost, trusted and been betrayed, been set aside as if she were the leftovers no one ever wanted. Never once could he have imagined her to be treated so poorly. Killian recognizes the pain in her eyes and the loneliness that drives some of her actions, but never once has he commented on it. He’s made it an effort to show her what a heart full of love can do.

Ever since he came across her on a whim years ago, her running right into him as he exited the local Starbucks for his coffee, he’d never been able to stay out of her life. She’d knocked that hot coffee out of his hands and all over him, but he’d excused her and said that worst things could have happened.

He has dedicated himself to be the single puzzle piece in her story that would never get thrown off the board, to never be slid under the rug. And, in the three years of knowing Emma Swan, he wagers he knows her better than she knows herself.

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