syptoms

Effects of Ink in the Mob Boss Au

As promised in @spudinacup’s stream y'all finally get to know what the effects of ink are on both toons AND humans and what makes them a drug. Or more importantly, what kind of drug they are. (I’ve been wanting to make a post about this for a while but now I have a legitimate excuss) (ALSO A WARNING FOR DRUGS LOTS OF DRUG/DEATH MENTIONS (obviously))

Let’s begin!

To Non human users, ink can actually benefit you in many ways! but of course, just like any drug, theres the disadvantages. but if anything the benefits can out-way those disadvantages. To non-humans, or toons, it will act like a steroid. if used for a long period of time it can build muscle and spike your hight if used correctly. its like eating a protein bar: if you take in the protein and do nothing with it, itll just be stored as fat. but if you work your muscles while taking in the protein then it will help them grow. now ink wont be stored as fat but it wont have any positive affect on you other than the high. speaking of which: when taken, for toons, ink sorta acts like lsd or speed (high wise). the syptoms include enhanced focus, tingling sensations, mild hallucinations, enhanced strength, enhanced agility, short temper, and violent tendencies. now the long term effects/disadvantages are the same compared to a human, but it’s very mild for toons and it takes way longer to kill them or cause any sort of detrimental, internal damage.

Now with HUMANS ink sort of acts like mercury in a way. More so in the way that its considered it will benefit someone. Take Emperor Qin Shi Huang for example. He drank mercury and ate jade in hopes that it would make him immortal but it just ended​ up killing him. Now, yes, ink will eventually kill a human, but not after a very long, very painful period of time. Ink is mostly a neurological drug. So while it gives toons a head high, it’s give humans head trauma. The most prominent symptoms would be headaches/migraines, dizziness, drowsiness, nightmare/night terrors, trouble focusing, memory loss, and and in some rare cases hallucinations. (Along with the basic symptoms​ of vomiting and such). If you continue to take it regularly then some users will become delusional and believe that the ink is working in the way you want it to and once you’ve gotten to that stage you might as well just throw in the towel now cuz you might as well be dead already

Now let’s hypothetically say theres an individual who was a half toon half human hybrid. when it comes to Halves they would equally get both of the intensified benefits and the intensified disadvantages of ink. So let’s put it like this: you measure the amount of affect ink will have on an individual through bundles of 4. P stands for the pros that ink gives and C stands for the cons

Toons: PPPC

Humans: PCCC (P only for the false euphoria)

Halves: PPCC

Tldr; for toons ink acts like a steroid and gives a euphoric high while with humans it just rots you from the inside out, making you think it’s doing you good if you take it too much. And if you’re a Halve then you get the effects are sort of intensified for you in both respects.

I think the reason Mahariel is my favourite Warden is because they get tainted before becoming a Warden (also they’re Dalish). For some reason that appeals to me in a character, possibly because of how much of a badass that makes them.

Even with Marethari’s magic, this is what would have happened on top of the usual syptoms of illness, such as fever and blah;
- Their blood literally feels like it’s burning in their veins. All of it, growing steadily worse.
- According to the Calling they’ll also have the permanent sensation akin to wading through psychic toxic sewage or something (although they’ll always experience this as Wardens too, when exposed to the taint)
- Their veins are turning black, which is probably a good cause of a freak out.
- They will become increasingly photosensitive. Sunlight physically hurts.
- All their hair starts falling out
- And their grip on reality will start slipping as the taint spreads and they start hallucinating and dissociating. There is a good chance that the Archdemon would take the opportunity to torment them as it did to Tamlen.

And all of this on top of the emotional trauma of losing Tamlen and their family.

And they still managed the lengthy walk from the Brecilian forest to Ostagar, where they were still coherent enough to hold conversations and engage in combat despite the constant agony. And they did this through sheer willpower.

Long story short, Mahariel’s a fucking badass and I love them.

anonymous asked:

Hi! I'm writing a fantasy series about six teenagers who survive a shipwreck and wash up on an island where their dreams (and nightmares) come true. This is set present-day. I was wondering if you had any survivalist tips on how to make it more realistic. This could include like how long people can survive without water / food / sun poisoning / etc, basically anything that teenagers stranded on an island would face to make the story a lot more plausible even though it's magical realism. :)

Hi, I’d be happy to help!

People can live without food for three weeks at maximum, although those three weeks would by no means be pleasant. They would experience symptoms of malnutrition, which include but undoubtedly are not limited to: dropping weight, fatigue and physical weakness, mental confusion and poor concentration, bleeding from the mouth and gums, changes in mood such as lethargy and irritability, and (after, say, a week or so with no food whatsoever) a loss of any appetite at all (source).

Water, however, is a completely different story. Because the human body is about 60% water, humans need to take in water on a regular basis to keep our blood thin enough to circulate and to expel toxins by way of sweat/urination. A human could survive three days without water, and the last two to two and a half of them would be miserable. They would suffer from dehydration, symptoms of which include thirst, decreased urine output, darker urine, dry mouth, decreased sweat output, muscle cramps, nausea/vomiting, heart palpitations/a higher heart rate, lightheadedness (especially when standing), confusion, and physical weakness. If they don’t get water in time, organ failure will take place, leading to death (source).

Sun poisoning (also called photodermatitis), is “a form of allergic contact in which the allergen must be activated by light to sensitize the allergic response, and to cause a rash or other systemic effects on subsequent exposure”. Syptoms include skin tenderness, fever and/or chills, nausea, fatigue, dizziness, and dehydration. Although it’s rare for victims of sun poisoning to die, the condition shouldn’t be taken lightly, because it can lead to “various levels of damage and deterioration of the skin”.

Don’t forget to take wildlife into account (vegetation as well, but we’ll get to that in a second). What, if any, animals live on the island? Are they dangerous, or do they live and let live? Since your island is a magical place, it’s possible wildlife doesn’t live there – I’m sure your characters’ nightmares would be a sufficient enough challenge without adding carnivorous beasts (although you definitely can, if you’d like to!).

Vegetation would also be good to check into – depending on how long your characters are on the island, they’ll need to eat something, or they’ll die (even if they’re not on the island long enough to die of malnutrition, how can they fight and win if they’re weak with hunger)? Tropical vegetation (I’m just assuming your island is tropical) is more diverse than vegetation in other ecosystems, due to the year-round warm climates, and often is brightly-colored – which, don’t forget, can mean danger or poison. So your characters should be careful of what plants they eat, lest they accidentally poison themselves.

I think that’s it. I hope this helps! If you need anything else, please feel free to ask! - @authors-haven

iwouldbeaghost-deactivated20171  asked:

Spring Awakening kids favorite musicals headcanons ❤️

-Melchior has no sense of style and dresses in whatever he thinks is comfortable which occasionally means wearing his Shakespeare PJ bottoms to school 

-Moritz has a great sense of style but is self-conscious and his dad doesn’t buy him anything ever so he tends to wear old baggy thrift store stuff

-Melchior styles Moritz’s hair every day at school because Moritz literally runs to school even though he gets there an hour early to get help on his homework from everyone

-Wendla and Ernst do the school musicals and are fucking masters

-Hanchen is way more into doing the plays

-Moritz does lights and he’s really good (if you don’t think lights are difficult you can fuck off.) Melchior does sound just so he and Moritz can hang out in the booth.

-Ilse heads scenic (picture Ilse with a drill and a rolled up flannel)

-Anna heads props

-Thea heads costumes

- Martha does fly rail so she only has to show up during tech week because she has a lot of dance stuff to do

-Georg and Otto help with scenic and props 

-Martha is a dancer

-Ilse and Wendla hide and make out during strike

-Moritz has touble sleeping so he always falls asleep on Melchi’s shoulder

-Moritz just tries to ignore all his syptoms because he ‘doesn’t need help’ and ‘if he’s been handling it for this long it’s really not that big a deal’

Ive got so many more that I’m not remembering right now but thank you so much!

Not a feel

- What is ‘autism/autistic burnout?’

For want of a better phrase, it’s when you act more obviously autistic (sensory issues are worse, more prone to melt/shutdown etc.) as a result of something like stress or having been low on spoons for some time

- (Not a feel) Is it possible for a certain person or thing to make bad sensory things not bad? Like for example, I have issues with loud noises. But, there’s this one person who, if I’m around, for some reason it won’t affect me? Like, I was in a really loud place with this person, and normally I’d be dying of sensory overload, but I was fine. It used up most of my spoons, but I was fine otherwise, and it’s super confusing? So, like, is it possible? - V

I think so?

- Hi! I’ve been diagnosed with general anxiety and they want to also diagnose me with asd. Though I feel like i would have adhd rather than asd, could adhd and general anxiety together be misinterpeted as asd?

It’s certainly possible. There’s a lot of overlap between ADHD and ASD and the anxiety aspect wouldn’t help with that

- Not a feel but, what is infodumping?

Saying/otherwise conveying a large amount of information, generally about a special interest. Often with very little control over the amount of information given as it just comes rushing out

- Hi um im new to this blog , im a 22 year old female who was diagnosed with dyslexia and ADHD (innatentive type ADD) in childhood. However, as I read mor about ASD there’s so many traits (in fact have all but one according to DSM 5) that can not be explained by my previous diagnoses. only thij is I also have experienced anxiety from as long as I can remember. someone’s opinion is it possible to have ASD as well as dyslexia and ADHD Or could my anxiety be causing similar ASD syptoms ?

Both options are possible. Some people do have anxiety from a young age but autism is also possible. There’s also a lot of overlap between ASD and ADHD so it’s hard to say without knowing you

- Is it an autism thing to never feel shame? Even for things I should probably feel a little ashamed about? I just…I dont experience shame at all and I dont understand it. 🌟☉

It’s possible, as it may be related to social issues

BTS "LIE" - Frame By Frame

BTS “BEGIN” - FRAME BY FRAME / BTS “STIGMA” - FRAME BY FRAME / BTS “FIRST LOVE” - FRAME BY FRAME / BTS “REFLECTION” - FRAME BY FRAME / BTS “MAMA” - FRAME BY FRAME

Yes, I know this is late..Bite Me..

But I just did this yesterday….

And yet I still want to do more…I don’t understand myself…

Anyways, if you haven’t already, feel free to check out my first Frame by frame about “Begin”

Let’s get this started…

- - - - - - -

Rap Monster starts us off again with another quote from Demian.

Other Armys seem to have found another connection between the short film and Demian. Demian’s chapter titles may connect with the short films’s titles.

For example, The second chapter title in Demian is “Cain.” Now, if you know the story of Cain and Abel, you should know that Cain kills his brother (Abel) and lies to God about not knowing where his brother was. The second shot film is also titled “LIE.”

0:28 We see a tundra forest covered by fog. The camera pans out and we see it was only a painting. Jimin sits in a white colored room and across a white arm and black camera.

0:39 The hand holds an ink blotched paper similar to to the logo from “Begin.”

This may be linked to the “Roschach Test.”

A test for revealing the underlying personality structure of an individual by the use of a standard series of 10 ink-blot designs to which the subject responds by telling what emotion and design evokes.

0:40 Jimin shrugs his shoulders a little bit, looking confused

0:42 We see the camera on the table pan over to him. We’re now watching from the Camera’s POV. As the camera pans over to him, Jimin loses his smile

0:45 The colors become inverted and he is now in a different room, looking as if he’s struggling

0:46 It switches back to the previous room. The hand now holds up a different ink-blot and Jimin smiles as he looks up

0:49 It switches to the inverted room again and Jimin seems to be struggling even more, grabbing at his neck

Could this mean that the camera symbolizes as someone who can see through him? How he might look happy on the outside, but on the inside he’s hurting?

0:53 He falls backwards and as we hear a creak, it transitions into the inverted room he was in before, only it wasn’t inverted this time

Curtains are draped to the sides and there are two hospital beds. Jimin is sitting on the left bed and it seems we’re in a medical ward of sorts.

1:00 It quickly shows the white hand holding up a new card. This may be the next circle in the logo for the short films

1:02 We see pills in a martini glass. This could possibly link with Jhope.

Like Suga and Jungkook, they’re seen with each other a lot.

From The Prolouge

To Run..

They seem to be very close in HYYH World…

Wasn’t Jhope in the “hospital” during Run?

Many theories say that Jhope and Jimin suffer from a mental illness. 

Jimin suffers from schizophrenia. Syptoms of it are hallucinations and delusions. Something must’ve happened to Hobi, causing him to lie to himself, pretending that he’s happy

1:03 He stretches his hand towards the bed like something/someone is supposed to be there

1:05 The sign translates to “Pulkkot Arboretum”

At first I was like “What the hell is a pulkkot?”

Thanks to some digging around, I got my answer…

Pulkkot translates to Hibiscus. A type of flower. South Korea’s national flower…. An arboretum however is a botanical garden dedicated to trees..

This could be interpreted into being the “Garden of Eden”

A garden in the bible where Adam and Eve lived. They were allowed to eat any fruit from any tree, but God told them specific directions not to eat from one tree in particular. They both followed until a serpent (Satan) tempted Eve to eat the fruit, making Eve tempt Adam. For disobeying God’s orders they were banished from the garden, never to return.

**
1:07 Jimin Starts singing (With his Heavenly Voice) and dancing. The lyrics really stand out to me…

Caught in a lie

Find back the pure me,

I cannot get out of this lie

Give me back my smile.

Caught in a lie

Bring me out from this hell

I can’t escape from this pain

Save me who resembles you

This stands out to me because the last line reminds me of Cain and Abel again. Save me who resembles you.

1:11 Whilst singing this, Jimin swings the pillow in front of him causing the feathers to come out

This again could be related to how Jhope also hit Jimin with a pillow

1:12 As the feathers come down, Jimin looks up and smiles happily at them as they fall.

11:16 We hear a gunshot and we see Jimin look as if he got hit with a bullet

1:24 The water is not pouring on him, but instead the scene is going in reverse

1:26 The burning piano returns 

I’m curios to see what its significance is. Others have said the piano is the one Kookie played in danger

1:30 Jimin reaches out from the other side of the water

This could symbolize him reaching out for someone/something or him wanting to achieve something. It could also be interpreted as him wanting to get out or wanting someone to save him.

At the same time an apple is dropped into the water as it quickly goes back to the tundra painting

1:32 We see Jimin with a bathtub…

Again..

I NEED U:

I NEED U JAP:

RUN:

RUN JAP:

Why is he always in a bathtub/ with water/wet?

Well, many ARMYs think that it’s all linked to the way he “died” in I NEED U

This time however, The scene is again going in reverse and the water is going back inside the tub

1:38 He falls into the bathtub backwards and this transitions into him waking up on the bed

1:40 We are again in the “medical ward room”

The curtains raise from the floor, revealing the same blackness Jungkook was in

1:51 Jimin stands in the middle of a colored version of one of the circles in the logo. The background is also the tundra painting

1:54 It then cuts to a seen where we see Jimin glitching while holding an apple

1:57

Please stop me, please guide me, please let me breath

These are lyrics from Run

2:01 Jimin takes a bite out off the apple

This could be linked to “The Forbidden Fruit”

The fruit Adam and Eve took a bite out off, even though they knew they weren’t supposed to. It was something desired all the more because it was not allowed.

2:06 He looks up and and displays a knowing smirk

2:09

I’m trapped inside myself and I’m dead

These are lyrics to Save ME

Jimin then turns the camera towards the painting as he looks at it

This ends with the same, but slightly different logo. The second circle that was shown earlier is now beside the first one

- - – - - - -

Theories aside…JIMIN’S VOICE.

MY EARS HAVE BEEN BLESSED

BIGHIT WHAT DOES THIS ALL MEAN?!?!

2

heres two more for now. look. i have acne. i have chronic pain that is 1. not fully diagnosed due to its syptoms and 2. incurable. my teeth arent straight by any means. i have to wear glasses to see. but heres the thing. im perfectly imperfect. you are too. we all have our flaws but isnt that what makes us who we are? (my friend took these for me. the phan hoodie is my friends. i was cold)

Some autism symptoms come and go. One day you might be great at socializing; an hour later, your social and verbal processing skills might diminish. One day you might have no trouble with sensory overload; you might have trouble the next day, especially if you’re stressed (lack of sleep, too much homework, relationship problems, etc). That doesn’t mean you’re faking. It’s absolutely normal for an autistic person/person with autism to have syptoms change intensity. It’s not your fault and you shouldn’t doubt yourself because of it. You’re allowed to have different symptoms at different times and you’re totally valid.

English society, French Revolution, and Jane Austen

“Restraint, control and propriety were vital if society was not to blow up in their face.”

—Roy Porter, England in the Eighteenth Century

It is important to stress that the society Jane Austen was writing about — and of which she was a loyal and critical member — was one which was essentially based on landed interests, the sacredness of property. At least since John Locke affirmed that “Government has no other end but the preservation of property” (in The Second Treatise of Government, 1690), the “rights of property” were continually stressed until they no longer appeared as the arbitrary and repressive ideology of the ruling propertied class but rather as a law of nature – “that law of property, which nature herself has written upon the hearts of mankind” (William Blackstone, 1793). Throughout the eighteenth century the general order and stability of society and the “rights of property” were not only inseparably linked: they became regarded as identical. […]

In an essay discussing “Property, Authority, and the Criminal Law” in the eighteenth century (in Albion’s Fatal Tree) Douglas Hay examines the various ways in which the populace was persuaded, or forced, to assent to the “rule of property”. […] Clearly terror was not the most important — or successful — way of maintaining the structure of authority which arose from property and protected its interests. The bonds of “obedience and deference” had to be maintained and perpetuated in other, subtler ways. What could never be exacted by legalised brutality might be won by a paternalistic mode of behaviour on the part of the landed class, by graciousness, justice, generosity, mercy. In this way, ideally at least, social control in the eighteenth century might appear as a “spontaneous, uncalculated and peaceful relationship of gratitude and gifts” and the whole system “a self-adjusting one of shared moral values, values which are not contrived but autonomous”. To maintain that this ideal was in fact how society worked and was bonded together necessarily involved a great deal of mystification, varying degrees of self-deception and inter-colluding habits of seeing — or not seeing — and selectively distorting and censoring aspects and conditions of society as they actually were. And of course the façade of harmonious relationships between the ruling propertied class and the populace was often a very thin and transparent one.

There was social order and stability, but it was always precarious and insecure. Just as there were regular hangings, there were frequent if often ineffectual riots. But above all of course there was the frightening example of the French Revolution. The Gordon riots of 1795 in London indicated the existence of plenty of easily-inflammable latent violence and discontent. (In a riot in October 1795, a window of the royal coach was broken, to the accompaniment of cries of “No King!”) The dream of an unshakeable, “natural” social order composed of benevolent propertied authority and loyal deferential populace came to seem increasingly threatened, increasingly unreal (to Jane Austen among other people). It was impossible complacently to assert that anything like the French Revolution couldn’t happen here. It all too obviously could.

This is why, for one thing, there was an increasing emphasis on the importance of property, in maintaining social peace and order in late eighteenth-cetury England. (An example of this intensification of emphasis is the way in which Burke reversed Adam Smith’s assertion that property was dependent on social order and made social order dependent on property — thus further “naturalising” and prioritising property.) To this extent Jane Austen is in agreement with the dominant ideology: her proper heroes all have landed property and her heroines need a propertied man (Persuasion as always the significant exception).

But in addition, and equally important, there was a new emphasis on the need for good manner and morals among the propertied class. Since they did not rule by police and force but rather by system of deference and obedience, they had to be exemplary — in every sense. […] Property was a necessary, but not sufficient, basis for a stable and orderly society. Decorum, morality and good manners — in a word, “propriety” — were equally indispensable. The one without the other could prove helpless to prevent a possible revolution in society. […] For Jane Austen, to secure the proper relationship between property and propriety in her novels was thus not the wish-fulfilment of a genteel spinster but a matter of vital social — and political — importance. That is why it is in many ways irrelevant to argue whether she was a relatively mindless reactionary or an incipient Marxist. She did believe in the values of her society; but she saw that those values had to be authentically embodied and enacted if that society was to survive — or deserve to survive. She indeed saw her society threatened, but mainly from the inside: by the failures and derelictions of those very figures who should be responsibly upholding, renewing and regenerating social order. 

Bad manners were not simply a local and occasional embarassment to be laughed at: they could be syptoms of a dangerous sickness in her society which could ruin it from within — through neglect, transgression and omission rather than by mobs and the guillotine. That there are so few of her characters who seem fully qualified to act as the necessary maintainers of the society of her novels is a measure of her concern and incipent pessimism, a pessimism actualised and visible in her last work.

— Tony Tanner, Jane Austen, Macmillan, 1986, pp. 16-18

My appointment went pretty well I’m going back on all my meds and we’re going to try to taper off the pred again and I’ll just accept death

She thinks I’ve been on it so long my adrenal glands my have shut down for good stop I have to go of it for awhile to see if that’s what’s up

And if I’m going through withdrawal which the syptoms of steroid withdrawal is fatigue, pain, swelling, hair loss, yeah Idk how I’m sized to know either

anonymous asked:

wow i didn't know that about syptoms? are there any other shinee songs that have different titles in korean than in englisH? can you list them?

sure! the list is actually extensive so this is going to be a tad bit long, but! a quick note that some english translations of the korean title are going to differ depending on who you asked, ie: “화장을 하고 (graze)” could be translated as either “after applying make up” or “with make up on”, etc. or how “ 좋아 (she is)” can be translated as either “like”, “i like you” or “i like it”.

누난 너무 예뻐 (replay)
korean title: noona, you’re so pretty

너 아니면 안되는 걸 (romantic)
korean title: it can’t not be you

눈을 감아보면 (four seasons)
korean title: if you close your eyes

화장을 하고 (graze)
korean title: with make up on

그녀가 헤어졌다 (one for me)
korean title: she broke up with him

산소 같은 너 (love like oxygen)
korean title: you’re like oxygen

내 곁에만 있어 (best place)
korean title: just be by my side

잠꼬대 (please don’t go)
korean title: sleeptalking

소년, 소녀를 만나다 (romeo + juliette)
korean title: boy meets girl

차라리 때려 (hit me)
korean title: might as well just hit me

니가 맘에 들어 (talk to you)
korean title: i like you

화살 (quasimodo)
korean title: arrow

악 (shout out)
korean title: evil

욕 (慾) (obsession)
korean title: curse
chinese title: want

늘 그 자리에 (honesty)
korean title: always at that place

오르골 (orgel)
korean title: music box

떠나지 못해 (sleepless night)
korean title: can’t leave

너와 나의 거리 (selene 6.23)
korean title: the distance between you and me

버리고 가 (better off)
korean title: leave me and go

빗 속 뉴욕 (queen of new york)
korean title: the rain in new york

닫아줘 (close the door)
korean title: close it

이별의 길 (farewell my love)
korean title: the road to farewell

너의 노래가 되어 (an ode to you)
korean title: i become your song



괴도 (danger)
korean title: thief

거절할게 (wicked)
korean title: i’ll refuse

소나타 (play me)
korean title: sonata



시간이 늦었어 (beautiful tonight)
korean title: it’s late

그래도 되지 않아? (fine?)
korean title: wouldn’t that be fine?

좋아 (she is)
korean title: like / i like you / i like it

우주가 있어 (orbit)
korean title: there is a universe

im pretty sure i have pmdd (premenstrual dysphoric disorder) except that my symptoms do not stop once my period starts like most people with pmdd.

it also makes a lot of sense because it can be treated with antidepressants and i had to stop them and can’t go back on them (because my doctor doesn’t want me to) and both my ppmd symptoms and depression syptoms have been persistant.

i’d get treatment, if only someone would take me seriously

Seen This Ground Before 5

This chapter fought me. But here it is. As always, read the tags for triggers

A lesson in manipulation doesn’t really end how Wash expected it, like, in any way at all.

Part 4

~

“Okay,” Wash says. “Here’s what we know.”

                He has their rapt attention, or as much attention as they’re capable of giving. This is the Reds, after all. Or, at least half of the Reds.

                “Locus is answering to somebody,” Wash reiterates, “and that somebody wants us alive for…some reason. We don’t know that part. But they’ve got Locus’s leash. How do we know this?”

                “Because he hasn’t killed us yet,” Donut replies cheerily.

Keep reading

katisconfused replied to your postLike I kinda hate that I grew up in a hick town…

Unfortunately the dfab thing alone will block diagnosis. I was beyond stereotypical with syptoms as a kid and was SENT TO THERAPY even at that age for depression and no one caught it. It’s just a shitty stereotype thing. Only white cisboys are autistic apparently. Neurotypical kids have meltdowns over sensory shit all the time.

Yeah that’s true as well :/ I mean its better these days of course but yeah sexism/cissexism are a big reason a lot of adult women/people designated female at birth that show 100% of symptoms for stuff like autism and ADHD don’t have a official diagnosis. Of course they  were clearly just weird girls that would grow out of their weirdness eventually no reason to investigate it further.

Like I went to various therapy stuff for like issues with my ability to make sense in verbal ways and despite that they never thought of investigating any known condition that caused that nor actually giving me any life skill to help combat it. Now I’m an adult that doesn’t even like going to the doctor less because “fuck doctors” and more because I struggle to communicate my grievances in a way that makes sense to people besides myself.

It sucks people seem to think if a kid gets diagnosed with autism that’s how they would get mocked but kids like me just got mocked/insulted endlessly, even by my own family members, for trying to find ways to cope with it and make life easier for other people. Like this stuff leads to people getting increasingly socially isolated because they can’t fix themselves and the feedback they get for attempting to fit in is negative 99% of the time.

On the topic I literally will not follow a person that has “anti self dx” somewhere in their profile because most people aren’t doing that stuff for cool points they’re doing it to try to find the resources they need so they can live a kinda sorta normal life. Being critical of why people self diagnose is a very different beast from being outright against it.

Kidney Stone or UTI

GROSS UPDATE YET AGAIN

Maybe it is UTI. GROSS UPDATE. When I jerk it 2-3 times at night. I kinda just fall sleep and not clean anything.

I’ve had syptoms months ago where the tip was red and hurt simply putting boxers over it. After washing with warm water, things improved then.

That was some sort of Fungal infection

Could be the case here when it stings when I pee.

Will check with doctor Tuesday

I blog about these things since someone else may have solutions or whatever

Taylor Caniff Imagine

You were spending the day with Cameron Dallas which you happen to know since birth,you both remained friends growing up. He has been you’re bestfriend for 15 years
You decied to catch up with him since he’s now back from the MagCon Tour ,in a cafe close to the apartment that he shared with Nash,
“So how did the tour go?” I asked him while sitting down
“it was really fun,The fans were CRAZY but they were also great and we even-” Cameron was cutt off by my phone ringing, again
“Sorry” I said , taking a look at my phone and to see ‘Taylor’ flashing on the screen and I couldn’t help but smile big
Taylor and I have been texting each other for a couple of weeks now and Cameron has been getting quite suspicious as i have been blushing everytime i have gotten a message. I have also had a crush on Taylor since I have meet him when Cameron invited me to come along on the MagCon tour with him but you haven’t dared to tell anyone about you’re crush on him, especically the other boys.
“Alright, who is it?” Cameron asked smirking
“Oh no one, just a friend"I replie, trying to chage the subject as if it was no big deal, But Cameron Knew you like the back of his hand so he didn’t ignore it
"Oh,come on (Y/N) , You blushed everytime you have gotten a text,so who is he!?” He asked again but this time wiggiling his eyebrows and poking my sides teasingly
“Alright” I sighed “But you won’t tellanyone ok? ans i don’t want you medding or trying t set us up because he probable doesn’t like me back”
“Okay, fine , just tell me”
“Okay… it’s..um” i started to blush “it’s Taylor”
“Awww (Y/N), i knew you liked him, I knew it!!” He grinned, cooing at me
“I know he’s you’re friend and everything, but i can’t help it! He’s perfect and i can’t stop thinking about him” I explained
“Aww” He cooed again, this tie him smile getting bigger “Please can i set you guys up!?”
“No!He doesn’t like me and I don’t want our fryendship to be ruined! Cameron please don’t do anything, i really really like him and I don’t want to lose him” I begged
“Alright” He ageed “Come on, let’s go back to my place and have a movie night! we havne’t had one in ages!”
“Oh my god YESS!”
~
You both went bac k to Cameron’s apartment and got loads of junk food and films out ready for the movie night. You had just set up the lounge wih loads of blackets when someone knocked on teh door.
“I’ll get it” I said to Cameron" it’s probably thr pizza!“
When you opened the door, you were met with the Jacks,Shawn,Matt and lastly Taylor
”(Y/N)“ They all and pulling me into a bone crushing hug.
"What are you guys doing here?” Cameron asked after greeting the guys.
“Well you mentioned you were eeing (Y/N) today and we wanted to see her! It’s beem a month since she visited us on tour and I’m getting withdrawal syptoms form not seeing her” Taylor joked, pulling me in for a long hug
“Aw! I really missed you too!"I exclaimed, looking into each others eyes, smiling.
Shawn and Matt just stared at you two with raised eyebrows, obviously figuring out that you both liked each other
"We’ve got to set them up"Cameron whispered and the boys agreed

Mike and Jaime just stared at you two with raised eyebrows, obviously figuring out that you both liked each other.

“We’ve got to set them up” Tony whispered and the boys agreed.
"So what film are we watching first?” Taylor asked, pulling out of your hug and holding your hand instead
The boys looked at each other with smirks before Jack J replied “ How about a horror?”
“Really, you know I hate Horror films” You whined
The boys looked at each other with smirks before Mike replied “how about a horror?”
“Oh man up!"Shawn teased as you all made you way ibto the lounge and Cameron put in the film.
Cameron and Shawn sat one of the sofas together and Matt and the Jacks sat on the floor in front of the TV leaving you and Taylor sitting next together , you leaned into Taylor and wrapped his arm over your shoulder causing you to rest your head on his shoulder
~
Halfway through the film you were practiclly sitting on Taylor’s lap as you were scared. So that’s why the guys suggested a horror film.. you thought to yourself.
"I’m just gunna get some more blankets"Matt announced
"That’s weird.. We have enough blankets…
He came backa few minutes later but with no blankets.
"Hey, (Y/N) and Taylor? can you help me find the blankets?” He asked.
“Yeah,sure” Taylor replied
We both got up and Taylor took ahold of my hand again and followed Matt to the front of Cameron’s apartment to some sort of supply closet
“Can you guys see them? he asked referring to the blanckets
"Yeah, thet’re up here” you stated trying to get them down but failing due to you’re height.
“Here, I’ll get them” Taylor offered stepping into the closet. He went to reach for the blankets when Matt slammed the door shut and locked it.
“You’re not coming out wntim you’re both honest with each other !” you head Shawn
“Really?,this is so immature guys let us out” you demanded
“Not until you tell the truth!"Cameron replied
"You’ve been dragging this out long enough, man up” Jack J added

“Not until you tell each other the truth!” Tony replied.

“You’ve been dragging this out long enough so man up!” Jaime added.

You just sighed. You knew exactly what they were talking about and as much as you were loving being pressed up against Taylor in this tiny closet, you just wanted to get out and avoid telling Taylor about your feelings for him.

“Look, I think I know what this is about” Taylor sighed.

“I think I do to… I’m sorry if this messes up our friendship but I honestly can’t help what I feel Taylor. I know we’re meant to be friends but I’ve felt like this for months and I’ve been wanting to tell you but i was so afraid that-” Taylor cut off your rambling with a passionate kiss and it was amazing.

You’ve been dreaming of this for months and it was finally happening! As soon as your lips touched fireworks went off and the kiss was perfect; slow, full of lust and just, simply amazing.
“Gus it’s gone silent, think there kissing!"Shawn cheered
"So are you guys going out yet?"Cameon shouted
You broke off the kiss lightly giggling at the boys.
“Well, would you want to?” Taylor asked nervously, playing with your hair softly.
“What?” You teased, wanting him to say the words.
“Would you like to be my girlfriend?”
“Of course! I thought you’d never ask” you grinned, about to pull him in for another kiss before the boys interrupted again.
“Finally!” Jack G exclaimed.
“I guys that means you guys can come out now” Shawn said.
“Nah, I think we’re good” you smirked, winking at Taylor
“But we haven’t finished watching the film!” Cameron wined.
“We’re busy, go watch it yourselves” Taylor replied, leaning in to kiss you again.
“I think they want to be alone” Matt stated.
“No shit” you mumbled against Taylor’s lips, making him smirk.