- Gryffindor: (referring to book) I love it. It was so romantic.
- Ravenclaw: Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers.
- Slytherin: As opposed to a bitter, self-righteous hag who has no friends?
- Ravenclaw: I guess in this society, being male and an asshole makes you worthy of our time.
- Ravenclaw: (to teacher) What about Sylvia Platt or Charlotte Bronte? Or Simone de Beauvoir?
- Hufflepuff: *walks in late* What have I missed?
- Ravenclaw: The oppressive patriarchal values that dictate our education.
- Hufflepuff: Good! *walks right back out of the classroom*